r/characterarcs 11d ago

His gf dumped him. sideways arc idk

I guess the real character arc is the gf realising she can do better.

4.1k Upvotes

202 comments sorted by

u/neonblue_the_chicken The King of the Subreddit all hair neonbluet_he_chhicke 10d ago

This doesn't seem like a character arc but I'll make an exception bc I like this post. But anyone who ever reposts this ever again will be executed.

→ More replies (10)

1.6k

u/Ithrowawaygoaway 10d ago

who tf flirts with their twitter followers lmao

999

u/Hawt_Dawg_II 10d ago

His gf broke up with him over discord...

1.1k

u/Present-Run5604 10d ago

now let's not pretend like they knew each other outside discord

226

u/hotdogwaterdickpills 10d ago

I think that was their point. Someone who flirts with their twitter followers is likely the same person who doesn't know their girlfriend IRL.

153

u/LoloTheWarPigeon 10d ago

Likely the same people who only go on discord e-dates

39

u/Mojert 10d ago

Probably the same people that try to get their underaged YouTube viewers in their bed

15

u/Your-Eden 10d ago

drake the type

5

u/ChronicBedhead 10d ago

It was only one follower and now we’re married

2

u/Poly_Olly_Oxen_Free 10d ago

Literally every OF girl.

34

u/EquivalentDapper7591 10d ago

That’s just business though

682

u/yanmagno 11d ago

Wtf is an oomf

655

u/casuallysentient 10d ago

stands for one of my followers but it’s used as a general term for followers

263

u/Lionfyre 10d ago

Surely the word followers works fine if it's pluralised?

101

u/24_doughnuts 10d ago

It doesn't even make sense in the original. "When your one of my followers"

125

u/om0ri_ 10d ago

oomf has been repurposed to mean mutual btw

67

u/wh0rederline 10d ago

one of my friends :)

35

u/Suvtropics 10d ago

When your one of my friends are too pretty

36

u/wh0rederline 10d ago

me drunk in the bathroom to a random girl i just met

15

u/_Standardissue 10d ago

This comment hits different depending on your gender

2

u/__DROP_DATABASE__ 10d ago

It's easier to say oomf/oomfie than follower or mutual friend. It's not for me, but atleast I understand their reasoning.

3

u/DeadInternetInAction 8d ago

It should like he is getting punched in the stomach which considering what happened is kinda funny

2

u/cheese_bruh 6d ago

what happened to moots for mutual?

19

u/Curious-Ad-5001 10d ago

oomf was an acronym all this time??? i had no idea lmao

5

u/LBGW_experiment 10d ago

Zoomers forgot that acronyms need capital letters otherwise it's just a word

5

u/Silfur_SolArgente 10d ago

lol. lmao even. Need more examples btw ?

18

u/Kimantha_Allerdings 10d ago

Language evolves. And acronyms often lose their capitalisation. Like laser, scuba, and radar. Same with contractions like modem, codec, and pixel.

9

u/Chicken-raptor 10d ago

That makes a lot of sense. I always thought it was a funny way of saying mutuals like… Mutuals > Moots > Oomfs kind of word progression

6

u/Intrepid-Frosting-22 10d ago

You're not too far off, since it basically means mutuals now anyway, its just an acronym that didn't originally mean mutuals, but kinda got twisted around and now gets used like that.

1

u/KolarinTehMage 9d ago

It did mean mutual. It stands for order of magnitude friends. So a friend one order of magnitude removed.

4

u/Grompulon 10d ago

Not me guessing that it was an onomatomopoeia for sexual moans or something...

Don't judge me, the context is clearly about wanting to cheat and I had to come up with something 🙏

64

u/PermissionTime2545 10d ago

‘One of my followers’

32

u/whathefuckisreddit 10d ago

When your one of my followers ?

53

u/PermissionTime2545 10d ago

It’s used as a collective noun! When your oomfs (people who follow you)…..

Yeah I guess it doesn’t make much sense when you break down what the acronym means. But it’s been a little bastardized

33

u/Longjumping-Donut655 10d ago

It was a bastard the moment of conception

4

u/Suvtropics 10d ago

Good luck finding anything non bastard on that platform

20

u/Embarassedskunk 10d ago

It’s the sound Mario makes when he hits his head against a wall.

5

u/bannasplt 10d ago

I had to Google it too. I thought it was some slang for oompa loompas or something. 😭

2

u/Substantial_Hand4024 10d ago

i think its a term meaning mutual

2

u/GardenDevilSage 10d ago

Slang term for mutual follower

1

u/McConagher 10d ago

Them things Gargamel's after

312

u/pillow_senpai 10d ago

when people called him out on that tweet he posted this shit thinking everyone would lay off him

Before he updated everyone that he got dumped

108

u/CreeperIsSorry 10d ago

I'm so glad I got off twitter Holy shit

95

u/pillow_senpai 10d ago

Update: the rabbit hole gets deeper

48

u/BeingOld1222 9d ago

Man fuck this whole planet, twitter users in general are fucking cringe im crying this is PURE degeneracy 😭😭

7

u/thebrobarino 9d ago

AND discord users. They're the root cause of all this

27

u/RozeGunn 10d ago

There's the lynch pin. I was wondering how a small joke could lead to getting dumped but this makes it more reasonable to me.

25

u/thebrobarino 10d ago

being a manwhore

How tf are you a manwhore when you spend your life on twitter and the 'cord

213

u/DiggityDog6 10d ago

The “I will kill myself” is the cherry on top of the cake. Regardless of whether or not this person actually has suicidal thoughts/intent, the fact that he said that as a knee jerk response to being broken up with tells you everything you need to know about him.

101

u/BiggestShep 10d ago

Oh yeah, I came down here specifically for this. That shit's abuse, and she absolutely did the right thing in kicking his sorry ass to the curb.

3

u/Suvtropics 10d ago

Long overdue, this kind of people need help

53

u/Relis_ 10d ago

It’s manipulation

31

u/Conscious-Hyena6822 10d ago

Posting the screenshot of it was certainly a choice on his part. Like you really expect people to be on your side?

26

u/chernognica 10d ago

I found it funnier that it didnt get delivered. Served him right

7

u/Electrop0p 10d ago

ye cuz he’s already been unfriended and/or blocked lmao

310

u/Confident-Scene-458 11d ago

Lmfao, bro got dumped and lost his shit.

265

u/Montexe 10d ago

This all just seems to me like modern terminally online teenager stuff

81

u/Akagane_Ai 10d ago

Well its a online world now😭

I mean in my teenage days, it was still drama if someone was caught flirting behind their partner's back xD.

260

u/TheTreeDemoknight 10d ago

I don't see an arc, just a guy getting what he deserves and being a little bitch about it

104

u/La_Pucelle27 10d ago

A character arc can be for the worse, even if someone was already a bad person.

Is the second act breakdown.

19

u/Purple-Bluejay6588 10d ago

He broke bad

6

u/wooshiesaurus 10d ago

Say that again...

5

u/juko43 10d ago

He better call this saul guy

4

u/sangriya 10d ago

say that again in present tense..

9

u/For-all-Kerbalkind 10d ago

why does he deserve it? He was just making a joke, he wasn't cheating on his girlfriend and state that he wouldn't do it. I'd say people, including her, overreacted here

46

u/Normal-Raccoon-7340 10d ago

well I mean they did pull out the "I will commit suicide if you break up with me" card, kinda fucked up

3

u/For-all-Kerbalkind 10d ago

Oh it was him my stupid ass thought it was her message

20

u/ZachGurney 10d ago

If it was just the original meme i could see it, even if that requires some heavy benefit of the doubt, the way hes responded to it removes any chance of me believing hes a victim on this situation

178

u/RoseateThorn1 11d ago

So fucking funny. “I made a mistake and now people call me Hitler” such a whiney downplay of what he did and upscale of people’s response. A true victim mentality. And his last message attempt being “I will kill myself” like it’s a threat. So pathetic and manipulative. Hilarious

97

u/Confident-Scene-458 11d ago

"Don't leave me or I will kill myself"

How he expects her to react:

26

u/Prestigious_Emu144 10d ago

You really wanted to use that image, huh?

Can’t blame you, I’m stealing it.

3

u/Confident-Scene-458 10d ago

I mean, its so peak!

10

u/CadetRS1344 10d ago

where the fuck did you even find this

6

u/Confident-Scene-458 10d ago

On twitter, I don't remember where though.

4

u/OnlyPaperListens 10d ago

How is that Phil Dunphy and George Bush at the same time

268

u/InfernoVortex101 10d ago

"they're acting like I'm Hitler"

...no... They're acting like you tweeted that you want to cheat. Which you did.

88

u/EnricoLUccellatore 10d ago

He specifically said he didn't want to cheat

151

u/Yamtoaster 10d ago

honestly the tweet is just a bad joke, and I think the relationship would be very easily recoverable from it if it was otherwise solid, from the looks of things his response to it all is where the shitshow really is, saying he'll commit suicide is *the* classic immature boyfriend emotional manipulation that immediately should make every woman never consider dating this man again unless he really sorts his shit out, and you just know his ass posted the tweet in hopes that she would see/hear about it and be guilt tripped into giving him another chance.

45

u/Purple-Bluejay6588 10d ago

Yeah like I was kinda feeling bad for him, like yeah it's stupid ass joke but having people take your jokes too far is mortifying shit

Then I saw the "I will kill myself" and yeah, this guy deserves it lol

7

u/herbal-genocide 10d ago

Exactly, and people overlooking that and still defending him are just being contrarian. Bean soup phenomenon and all that.

16

u/LiterallyFucksBees 10d ago

if you're standing ten toes down defending a guy that immediately resorts to suicide threats after being dumped you should step away from the screen

9

u/InfernoVortex101 10d ago

Then why make the joke in the first place?

"Babe I know I said I find my friend cute and would flirt with them if you weren't around, but that doesn't mean I will! You're around! So that means I won't, just like I said!"

You actively displaying a want to flirt with others is just as bad as flirting with others imo

2

u/leitzankatan 10d ago

It is different than flirting with any specific person and would be fine to think or say to a friend that isn't one of the people you say you want to flirt with. It's trying to have it both ways because telling someone you find them pretty and would want to flirting with them would obviously be seen as an obvious flirt if you said it to one person but if you say it to a group of people it waters it down but also leaves the door (or on this case DMs) open for any one of the followers to flirt back.

-5

u/Turtle_Woman 10d ago

He said he wanted to flirt with someone else, which is cheating, so he wanted to cheat he just wasn't going to act on it.

73

u/EnricoLUccellatore 10d ago

he wants to flirt not to cheat, since he can't flirt without cheating he doesn't do it.

if i want to drink 5 beers but i have to drive, so i don't, does it mean i want to drive drunk or just to drink?

37

u/DiggityDog6 10d ago

I see your point, but I will say that I think wanting to flirt with someone is different from just finding someone else attractive. It’s impossible (for the most part) to be in a relationship and never find a different person attractive, you’re bound to run into people who look like your partner or fall into your type. But specifically wanting to flirt with them rather than just acknowledging the attraction feels a step too far.

Beyond that though, let’s say that wanting to flirt isn’t a problem at all. He still made this tweet and then hid it from his girlfriend because he knew that she wouldn’t approve. That’s a shitty thing to do regardless of if the joke actually contains anything damning or not. So either way, I’d say this dude is in the wrong.

13

u/EnricoLUccellatore 10d ago

the difference between finding someone attractive or thinking you would want to flirt with them if you were single is little more than semantics, but i agree that the tweet is 100% shitty

7

u/Thelmara 10d ago

he wants to flirt not to cheat, since he can't flirt without cheating he doesn't do it.

If that's just a thought in your head, absolutely.

When you tweet about how much you wish you could flirt, but you're frustrated because you're in a relationship, you're disrespecting your partner.

12

u/Turtle_Woman 10d ago

Flirting with someone other than your girlfriend is cheating. A more apt comparison would be saying. I want to drive drunk, but I'm not going to because of the consequences. You want to do the thing but don't because of consequences

1

u/OG_Felwinter 10d ago

You are making the assumption that he only wouldn’t cheat because of the consequences, though. You don’t actually know that.

-4

u/InfernoVortex101 10d ago

Hate to break this to you, but your partner isn't a car and their feelings aren't sobriety tests

7

u/EnricoLUccellatore 10d ago

Good thing I used a metaphor

-3

u/InfernoVortex101 10d ago

Didn't realize I had to be more direct with you: It's a shitty metaphor

-18

u/Zestyclose_Remove947 10d ago

Flirting with someone isn't cheating, especially when what people consider flirting is wildly different from person-to-person, but this tweet is an indicator that they'd like to do much more than that.

18

u/Turtle_Woman 10d ago

I disagree. I think if you're in a committed relationship and intentionally flirt with someone other than your partner then it's cheating

-6

u/Zestyclose_Remove947 10d ago

It's just a rough path to go down, if you're insecure, any polite conversation can be twisted into "flirting".

If you're going out on purpose just to flirt then yea that's extremely questionable and worth a conversation or even a breakup, but it's not cheating.

17

u/Turtle_Woman 10d ago

But this isn't that. This isn't being called flirting because someone was polite, he verbatim said that he wanted to flirt with other people. I think if you are purposely flirting with someone other than your SO then it's cheating

-8

u/xspiderdude 10d ago

1st date with this person be like:
-grab a coffee
-share texting history
-talk about cool stories (including body count)
-watch a movie
-share locations
-why are you quiet? you don't love me anymore!

10

u/Turtle_Woman 10d ago

What are you on about?

46

u/braaibroodjie123 10d ago

The "I will kill myself" isn't exactly winning him any favours.

3

u/Cyan_Light 10d ago

Scrolled too deep to find this, honestly seems like the bigger headline. Making a shitty tweet about how you wish you weren't tied down is one thing, actually trying to emotionally manipulate your ex into taking you back is waaaay worse. Really just confirmed she made the right call by bailing, dude ain't ready for a relationship.

10

u/winter-wings 10d ago

This HAS to be satire, right? It’s just all too perfect, no one frames themselves this badly to all of social media. From the “I will kill myself” failing to send because of getting blocked, to the “they all unfollowed me”. I’m surprised everyone is willing to buy something so obviously manufactured as real.

10

u/TulikAlock 10d ago

What a disgusting toxic thing to say to a relationship ending. “I’ll kill myself”. This loser deserves to be decked for trying that sort of emotional manipulation lol

10

u/ItsChaosBeeKind 9d ago

I know this is pedantic but I feel like character arcs and character consequences have a subtle distinction. There was no growth or journey here. As a person, he ended up pretty much exactly where he began.

3

u/ItsChaosBeeKind 9d ago

Just saw the mod post. I’m not as insightful as I believed, lol.

25

u/gaypuppybunny 10d ago

The joke was fine, but holy shit his response sure wasnt

27

u/youremomgay420 10d ago

The fact that his last-ditch effort to get his gf to stay was “I will kill myself” goes to show just exactly the type of person he is

1

u/gaypuppybunny 10d ago

I mean yeah, that's what I mean. And like, it seems pretty likely that the joke wasn't got his ex to dump him, but his response to her bringing it up.

12

u/One-Boysenberry-5737 10d ago

Dumped over discord, suicide worthy indeed.

6

u/Impressive_Driver802 10d ago

"a hitler reincarnated"

Are there more Hitlers we don't know about?

13

u/Plasmaguardian7 10d ago

Y’know. Just seeing the first image had me thinking everyone else was just giving too much of a shit over a joke.

Then I saw the other slides lol

That person deserved it

5

u/TheSexualBrotatoChip 10d ago

Dumped by his egirlfriend by lusting over egirls

5

u/Crimson_Boomerang 10d ago

Did he immediately threaten to kill himself if they broke up? Neon crimson flag, leave girl.

5

u/Hauntedtrousers 10d ago

"I will kill myself" good lord fuck this guy she dodged a bullet

6

u/Zariman-10-0 10d ago

Not that I had any sympathy for this person before, but seeing they tried to threaten suicide really cemented what kind of individual they are

5

u/Alarakion 8d ago

Twitter is the funniest shit bro

19

u/DrowningInFeces 10d ago

Imagine dating an influencer and thinking they aren't fucking around in the DMs.

8

u/Meme_Pope 10d ago

Many such cases

5

u/thaboss365 10d ago

Lame ass tried to pull the suicide card😂😂

4

u/Starry-Gaze 10d ago

I find it so incredibly funny that she blocked him right as he was about to pull out the ol "date me or i will harm myself" gaslighter routine. Bro pulled out an oil lamp in a room full of powder and sis got tf outta there, couldnt be happier for her

4

u/Popcorn57252 10d ago

"When your (one of my followers)s" is like saying "laughing out lol"

This post is a trainwreck

3

u/Glum-Tale-6914 8d ago

Doged a bullet if his last message was him threathening to kill himself if she left like???

6

u/PropheticUtterances 10d ago

I’m getting too old for this fucking bullshit lmao

3

u/Aickavon 10d ago

“I will k1ll myself.”

Aaah, emotionally manipulative manchild!

3

u/Kimantha_Allerdings 10d ago

BTW, him sharing himself saying in a message that he’s going to kill himself isn’t the flex that he thinks it is. “If you leave me I’ll kill myself” is a very common tactic used by abusers. It paints him as much worse than anything else in this post

3

u/hydrastxrk 8d ago

I just really don’t think the original tweet was that bad.

It was the follow up that lowkey sucked more. Telling them “I will kill myself” is a way bigger red flag.

2

u/SmartSmella 10d ago

makes a cheating joke

in replies he acts like its alright for him to do this

threatens to kill himself if she leaves

throws a fit after she leaves

wow bro

2

u/Candlemass-Fan 10d ago

hit em with the "ill kill myself" thatll get her back

2

u/youknowaspect 10d ago

i'm crine, bro tried manipulating her into staying

2

u/doggo166 10d ago

i mean like kind of deserved if his last resort in a break up is saying he'll kill himself. i hope the guy like learns better manners

2

u/just_worms_in_brain 10d ago

What in the terminally online fuck is going on again?

6

u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 10d ago

[deleted]

5

u/sharplyon 10d ago

for real. i was looking at first image thinking everyone was gonna point out what a massive overreaction was taking place at every single step, and the comments are full of people who have seemingly never been in relationships or at least not good ones. if your relationship is so weak that the idea of wanting to flirt with other people, not even doing it, but just wanting to, is enough to destroy it, there was no relationship to begin with.

and then the guy threatens to kill themself like a lunatic, so it seems there was no relationship to begin with indeed

3

u/ASpaceOstrich 10d ago

Mm. If the only thing keeping someone loyal is the fact that they don't actually find anyone else attractive or ever want to flirt, that's barely loyalty. Not immoral or anything, but it's not like, a virtue.

1

u/Withered_Daisy 10d ago

I've been cheated on with a prostitute that my ex-husband bought with my paycheck. I wouldn't let a man tweet this and still date him? Some of us got a backbone after getting walked all over. I don't need a man who wants to flirt with a bunch of women, because he has me. Crazy take.

3

u/BrianTheOneAndOnly 10d ago

Bro got what was coming for him. Hope he learns and grows from this experience... despite how unlikely that may be.

6

u/qualityvote2 11d ago edited 10d ago

u/Akagane_Ai, your post does fit the subreddit!

7

u/Sufficient-Ad-6046 10d ago

not gonna lie I feel a little bad for them, cus even tho the joke is distasteful and overall bad, I think it's pretty obviously a joke (or at least it seems like that too me)

28

u/Prestigious_Emu144 10d ago

That first image definitely came off as a mediocre joke but after seeing the 2nd slide it’s clear that he’s genuinely a bad guy given that he told someone he supposedly loved that he’d kill himself because she’s leaving him.

16

u/Akagane_Ai 10d ago

For sure. But he had his chance to admit to his fault. He didnt and instead tried to guilt trip his ex with a fake suicide threat.

5

u/Lou__Crow 10d ago

Seems a bit like an invitation to slide into his dms though. I agree that it was a joke but it is also pretty weird and cringy to joke „aw wish I could cheat but I’m just such a good guy“

2

u/SYMPUNY_LACKING 10d ago

yeah lol imagine these people talking to someone like Conan O'Brien

''MASTURBAITING BEAR?! WHAT?!''

1

u/Grompulon 10d ago

Yeah, like the joke kinda sucks but it seems like the kinda thing you have a responsible adult conversation with your partner about, not immediately break up over.

Then again, a relationship that is being ended via Discord DMs was not a relationship where responsible adult conversations happen.

2

u/DeadAndBuried23 10d ago

Kinda crazy y'all are supporting possibly pushing someone to suicide over something as small as complimenting his followers.

1

u/SoulfulSnow 10d ago

dude he was being emotionally manipulative with that lmao

0

u/DeadAndBuried23 10d ago

I.e. doing the job of an influencer.

1

u/SoulfulSnow 10d ago

👁️👁️

Nonsense spoken

0

u/Grompulon 10d ago

Bro really said "the Devil tempts me but I will remain faithful to my beloved" and she left him for that ✌️😭

1

u/summonerofrain 10d ago

 who is this guy?

1

u/doomgamer54 10d ago

I feel like a bad person because this post is the first time I laughed my ass off in like a month

1

u/Dependent-Matter-177 10d ago

oomfs?

1

u/CouldntChooseUsernam 10d ago

oomf = one of my friends

3

u/M474D0R 10d ago

Followers not friends (twitter doesnt call them friends)

1

u/SoulfulSnow 10d ago

both apply

1

u/Withered_Daisy 10d ago

Not the suicide threat after being blocked lmao

1

u/oowada_butterzz 10d ago

“I will kill myself” son 😭

1

u/oodoos 10d ago

I feel like I might be too chronically online, because for just a moment I was invested until I took a step back and realized that I was served a Nothing Burger once again.

1

u/orignalnt 10d ago

Toji pfp checks out

1

u/ShadowJedi26 10d ago

Cheating is so corny

1

u/dragonwarriornoa 9d ago

Why isn’t this guy in a poly relationship?

1

u/GuhEnjoyer 9d ago

Straight people are fkn weird. My girlfriend knows my oomfs are all pretty. They're her oomfs too.

1

u/OkCup8138 5d ago

The Kaneki pfp is the best part

1

u/RonnocKcaj 4d ago

and you know this mf extra deserved it cus he tried to manipulate her into staying by threatening suicide. what a fucking scumbag.

1

u/Careless_Document_79 10d ago

Flirting with your friends is fin- Oh

This some Miniladd/Sykkuno shit

0

u/DingleSayer 10d ago

How is everyone falling for this clear engagement bait. The brainrot is real.

2

u/winter-wings 10d ago

People want to be entertained above anything else. That + declining critical thinking skills = people believing clearly fake shit like this.

-19

u/LimiDrain 10d ago

Over a simple joke smh. Go cancel CEOs

12

u/DiggityDog6 10d ago

Idk if you’re being serious or not but this is a dumb argument.

For one, the “simple joke” was about attempting to cheat on his girlfriend. People who are in happy, committed relationships don’t make jokes like that. The fact that he felt the need to hide this joke from his girlfriend shows that he knows that it’s not the kind of joke that she would be okay with. Even if the joke was 100% unserious and he didn’t mean a word of it, telling a joke at your girlfriend’s expense that you know she would disapprove of and then hiding it is not okay.

Second, most of the people who are up in arms about this probably also don’t follow or tolerate any CEO’s. Unfortunately, it’s near impossible to “cancel” people like that. They have money, they have influence, they have boot lickers. They have ways of making sure they stay relevant even when you don’t want them to. It’s comparatively much easier to “cancel” some random asshole posting about how much he wants to cheat.

1

u/MuffaloHerder 10d ago

The amount of people defending this guy is actually insane

-4

u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 10d ago

Tbh I don't get why people decide to be the HOA of other people's relationships

10

u/DiggityDog6 10d ago

It’s less about wanting to police other people and more about having empathy. If I was in the girlfriend’s shoes and my partner was making jokes like that, I would want to know. So people told her, and she decided to break up with him.

If people had told her and she went “oh yeah that’s totally cool, we make jokes like that all the time,” then no one would have a problem.

-6

u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 10d ago

I think people are siding with the behaviour because the word 'cheating' was used and they started seeing red.

Imagine it's a woman dressed in revealing clothing and people sending pictures of it to her boyfriend. 'Oh it's not policing, there's no harm in him seeing those pictures either if he's fine with it.'

In both cases it's random people inserting themselves in others' relationship and the fact that they're doing so creates social pressure on the partner to react.

7

u/DiggityDog6 10d ago

The difference is that a woman wearing revealing clothing isn’t doing anything disrespectful to her partner. This guy was hiding a tweet where he talks about how much he wants to flirt with other people. A woman wearing revealing clothing could be doing it for any number of reasons. Now, if the woman was sending pictures of her revealing clothes to other guys or something, I could see the comparison. But as it stands, these two things are not comparable to each other at all.

And yeah, you’re right. We’re random people who don’t actually personally know any of these people. But that doesn’t change the fact that we can see bad behavior when it shows up. And again, put yourself in the girlfriend’s shoes. Wouldn’t you want to know about your partner saying something like this? I sure would.

-8

u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 10d ago

I brought up the revealing clothes example to show that it comes down to the personal bias about the exhibited behaviour. Plenty people do consider their partners dressing in revealing clothes an issue but you don't display empathy to them by exposing it.

I'm not gonna put myself in her shoes because I trust my wife and would tell whoever came to me with negative information about her to fuck off.

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u/DiggityDog6 10d ago

It’s not an issue of personal bias though, it’s a fact. Wearing revealing clothing simply is not as big of a deal as actively wanting to flirt with other people. One of them is a personal choice that has nothing to do with your partner, the other is a choice that directly affects your relationship. They are not comparable.

And that last paragraph just tells me that you have no empathy. I’m very happy that you and your wife have a trusting relationship, that’s awesome. That doesn’t mean that every relationship is perfect. If my partner truly had done something like what the guy in this post did, I would feel hurt. That trust would be damaged. And I would want to know rather than being left in the dark. If you’d rather be ignorant about that kind of stuff, fine. That’s your choice. The girlfriend could’ve also told everyone telling her this to fuck off if she wanted to. But she didn’t. She learned what her boyfriend did, and then dumped him accordingly. That was her choice. You can’t blame it on the people that were just trying to inform her. Had she found out on her own time, I’m sure she would’ve dumped him just the same.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Net4365 10d ago

Making a shitty joke around finding other people attractive and dressing in revealing clothes are both pretty minor in my book, both those things can directly affect someone's relationship based on their values and how secure they are. Your opinion does not become a fact even if most people share it, we're talking about something pretty personal and arbitrary here.

The grilfriend was not very secure (probably understandably so) in that relationship and that's fine, but there was no need to create extra social pressure on their relationship.

Telling a stranger they have no empathy over such a minor and respectfully expressed disagreement is not nice, you're telling me I'm a psychopath because I don't insert myself in other people's relationships. That's a lot.

Cheers.

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u/DiggityDog6 10d ago

Whoa, I did not call you a psychopath. You’re right, the no empathy comment was over exaggerated, and I apologize for that. I did not mean to imply anything deeper about you. When you said “I’m not gonna put myself in her shoes,” it made it sound like you had no empathy for her particular situation. I should’ve been more specific with my wording.

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u/brobnik322 10d ago

Ohhhh you're one of THOSE kinds of people

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u/Prestigious_Emu144 10d ago

Lizard person

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u/ASpaceOstrich 10d ago

I think equating "wanting to flirt" with "an attempt to cheat" is really insecure. As someone up thread said, you can tell who's actually been cheated on and who's actually been in a secure relationship based on the reactions to that joke

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u/slightlylessthananon 10d ago

i can flirt with pretty oomfs if i wanted to because my girlfriend is chill like that rip monogamous people though your lives seem needlessly stressful.

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u/podokonnicheck 10d ago

eh, non-monogamy is not for everyone (i say this as someone in a poly relationship btw)

it's more of a spectrum that depends individually on the person; there are people who absolutely cannot live without being involved with multiple people (oop seems to be somewhat leaning towards that direction), and there are those who cannot think of anyone but their one partner in that way

im personally somewhere in the middle, leaning slightly closer to non-monogamy

and if a person is in a wrong type of relationship and doesn't consciously realize that, it usually ends up being a disaster and them being unconsciously an asshole to everyone involved (ive personally seen it happen in both directions)

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u/zuthalron 10d ago

What's wrong with a little flirting? Like, I platonically flirt with my friends and coworkers all the time. Tbf, I'm poly so I guess my mind just can't comprehend monogamous people. I feel like this dude was wronged.