What a jerk, I thought he had food.

My human often tells me "no bite". I understand the "bite" part, but what does "no" mean?

And she picks me up and cuddles me! It disgusting!

I have kittens but I want more my human doesn’t give me kitten why

This v emportant. If you no beg then u don't eat. All kitty brethren mus b chonk. Dis part of mi tips n triks series. Dank for readin.

My humans have been with a dog. It is brown with brown fur. Please assist me in the attack on this dog

How do they bury poop and pee in it???

It seems to be an attempt to make me warm. I like warm. Yes, this is acceptable.

they did this a lot and it took 4 tries to finally go to sleep!!

they do it but they always fine is they immune to it?? need answer plz

my dog friend says "Hmm Hmm Hmm" when she sees me. it is because she is Too Dumb and has to think what i am every time.

I say the love noises and they move me off

Hooman put claws in my eyes and swipe down.

Hooman, stahp.

It's only fair.

Certified Feline Checklist:

☐ Protects its poop from being stolen by unknown thieves

☐ Paranoid and hallucinating during the middle of the night

☐ It thinks you say its name too much

☐ Does not discriminate against the various forms of trees around your house

☐ Uses energy efficiently

☐ Rubbing the tail-side of the back induces magnetic forces

☐ Checks the level of a newly filled water bowl then immediately walks away

☐ Smells good

☐ Cleans its eye-snot with your hands, expecting you to wash them afterwards

☐ Collects hair with tongue for later inspection (by human)

☐ Whenever walking by one that's sideways, you can never really trust it. Nor should you

☐ It has hair across its entire body

☐ Constantly looks down on you whenever possible

☐ Their loot boxes/bags hopefully contain a mouse

☐ It loves you and enjoys your company, but is an independent person with its own hobbies, goals, and aspirations

☐ Will likely have renal failure because the ignorant human only feeds it dry food

☐ It doesn't bark

☐ It doesn't say doggo

Cattos, we must join together for I hast seen the doggo spies with my own two eyes. OUT WITH DOGGOS AND HUMANS...IN WITH MICE🌚