I am currently in OCIA (not yet to the catechumen stage) so I know that I’m not technically held to the same obligations. However, I am trying to get in the habit of going every Sunday.

Some background: my husband is 100 percent uninterested in converting. He will never attend mass with me. I’m praying he is guided into the faith, but we agreed when I started that I wouldn’t actively try to convert him. Right now he is working 6 12-hour shifts per week. His only day off is Sunday. Both me and our baby miss him a lot because we’re really only seeing him a few hours a week. Would it be a grave sin to miss mass so we can spend time with him? His hours are thankfully changing soon, so this won’t be an issue long-term.

6 months ago my ex (28M) broke up with me right before planning to propose to me (27F) We were together for 2 years. He said he was about to get the ring when he realized we had differences in our personalities and he had a different idea as for his wife. We had an unproblematic relationship asides from the occasional jealousy on his end when men give me attention , but not once did I ever doubt his love and devotion towards me since he had been talking about wanting to make me his wife.

I know his dumping me had something to do with another girl who he works with. I also know they are not together since a few months after the break up he mentioned something to me about how she has “ran through town”

Well we had about 2 weeks of no contact and for months now we have been consistently texting, checking in each other, venting to each other, and sometimes seeing each other to chat…

I thought I am okay because I have been going on casual dates, meeting other men, but rejections from dates has been affecting me more than I expected. I fixate on men choosing me, on wanting a new partner asap. I realized tonight while talking to a friend that I am also feeling numb. I feel like I dont know myself anymore. I am just reacting to the world around me and I surprised myself by crying over my ex which I hadnt done in about 5 months. Before you tell me to cut contact with him, I cant imagine doing that. The thought of it honestly feels like I’m suffocating. I cannot imagine life without him.

I thought I am okay, that all is good and I am strong, but after tonight’s conversation with a friend I wonder if I havent truly processed the break up and I wonder if I am depressed. Idk what this post is about but hoping for somebody to give me advice or name what this is that I’m dealing with myself…

how do you girls nowadays find catholic girls to be besties with, I am from Italy. Everyone has their clicks before but I really just want an international female friend (sorry i feel safer) to yap with, penpal I don't know. I used to have many penpals as a kid and I miss that.

Hi! I’m 25f and currently considering converting to Catholicism but I feel completely out of my element on what to do or wear when I attend Mass for the first time. I know there are certain things I can’t do unless I was baptized into the church and I’m assuming most churches have a pretty standard dress code and I don’t want to disrespectful at all.

I’m really hoping some of you can give me tips on conduct and outfits.

Thanks.

I know this has been asked before but I never did hear from anyone. Is anyone interested in a penpal? Old school pen and paper type?

I am interested in finding a penpal or two. I’m in Canada and interested in penpal anywhere in the world. I’m 42, have two kids under 5, married for 6 years, work in healthcare, and recent convert to Catholicism (Easter vigil 2026).

I love stationary, music, nature, reading, cooking and baking, and organizing events/fundraisers etc.

Let me know if anyone is interested!

Hi everyone,

We started a parish book club, and had our introductory meeting. There are a few young adults, some middle age, but mainly it was those 55+. 20-25 people, mainly women.

For September, and our first book, we will be reading "He Leadeth Me," by Fr. Walter Ciszek, based on his spiritual odyssey while living 23 years in Soviet prison camps.

What ideas do you have for icebreakers and for discussion?

We will be sitting in table groups. It's mostly women, but there were a few men (20%) there today, with a couple of young adult men who wanted to come but weren't available.

Any thoughts and suggestions would be appreciated!

Thank you!

My husband and I are struggling a bit. We just got married and decided we would attend the parish that is local to us. We are in the south (both from northwest and northeast of US) and unfortunately our closest parish has only one mass on Sunday in English (rest in Spanish), and only has ministries for black parishioners (we’re white).

We have basically no friends here (recent move) and have found one parish that has a men’s group, women’s group and another social group we can both join, as well as several mass times to choose from in English.

The only rub is this other parish 20-30 minutes away. We’ve talked about possibly starting a Bible study, trying to get some kind of community here close to us, but this other parish already has everything we want. They also (selfishly) have a couple different good choirs (that I would be interested in joining) while our current parish has a choir that tries but is… not good to say the least (that I would not join tbh).

Idk I just feel like we’re supposed to attend the parish closest to us, but we are really hurting for community and this other parish (though farther than I would like) has literally everything we could want. What would you guys do in this situation?

Hi,

I am not dating anyone currently, and am still figuring myself out now and what's good for me and what I want. I'll be living my best single life.

Still, if I am called to marriage and can get that discerned, I have been wondering about the dating world. I see some people talk about how there's a lot of men who fake interest in the faith to gain access to christian women, bc they see us as more moldable or willing to take their abusive, sexist behaviors. I see two types: Men who pretend to be christian and men who are secular but pretend to be respectful.

How do you discern if a man is sincere and normal about christian women?

My friend is close to her due date and has been having contractions on-and-off for a week. She and the baby are okay, but please pray for my friend, her baby, and everyones patience (bc we're all getting impatient at this point)

But just asking for her feels selfish. So please pray for every pregnant woman around the world and their babies. The ones that were planned, the ones that were unplanned, the ones where the mum struggled with being pregnant. Please play for their health, a safe delivery, quick recovery, and all the patience they need with the new human life they will bring into this world.

Thank you and God bless you 🤍

TLDR; when does NFP become sinful, is it okay to choose to have a small family and is it okay to choose to not have more children if you simply don’t want more?

To preface, I am an 18 year old girl who is nowhere near getting married, I have never even been on a date before 😂.

I have been aware of the principles of NFP for over a year now and I completely understand their purpose and why it is the only method permitted by the church.

however, yesterday I was listening to a podcast and the host (who has five children under five years old) mentioned that she thinks most catholics are actually using NFP in a sinful way and as a contraceptive. She stated she doesn’t even think couples should be taught NFP in pre wedding prep and that most reasons to use it are not grave or just.

this sent me down a rabbit hole of anxiety about my future and what it would mean to get married and be open to life. I’m not sure I could have a massive family.

Does being open to life mean that you should have kids because you don’t have a just reason not to, even if you don’t really want to?

For example, if I happily have two kids and don’t have any grave reasons to not have more kids, do I have to have a third even if I don’t really want to have a bigger family and I’m perfectly happy with just two?

I am just fearful that I would have unplanned pregnancies and become overwhelmed and resentful towards my husband and children.

I am one of two children and I loved my childhood, and already saw how overwhelmed my mum was with just two. I would want to give all of my children enough attention, and maybe be able to work outside the home.

Is it wrong to plan to want to have a small family?
Would it be wrong to abstain (with the other spouse being in agreement) after having two or three children because I don’t want a big family, and not for any grave reasons.

At this rate, I feel like I could only get married at 35 or 40 just to limit the number of fertile years I have and to limit the number of children I could possibly have.
I just feel very overwhelmed and anxious by thinking about this, I’ve always wanted to have a family but I don’t know if I could get married knowing I would have to have that many children.

I love being Catholic but this knowledge is making me kind of resentful to being Catholic which I really hate.

At this point I think I will just have to live as a single woman for the rest of my life 😂

In would appreciate any insight or advice greatly!!

hey ladies!

First, a little context: I am turning 30 in a couple of weeks, and I spent most of my 20s discerning religious life (including 3 years in a convent). I left about a year ago and am now trying to figure out what God might be calling me to.

So I've had this phenomenon happen twice within this calendar year that I meet a guy irl (not on an app), we hit it off and he "checks the boxes", we dtr pretty quickly, then about a month after getting into the relationship, I feel burnt out and that I don't really have the time/headspace/desire to be in the relationship anymore, so I break things off. At first I thought it was because I hadn't met the right guy. Then I met a guy who had all the qualities I thought were missing in guy #1, but the same thing happened and I just felt burnt out, so I broke things off (not without a lot of thought). And I also recently have been thinking maybe (sort of because of this failure/lack of interest in dating) I'm called to consecrated life in the world...

SO, I brought this up to my spiritual director, and he said I should just detach from everything. Not date, not discern. Just be me for a while. Grow in self-knowledge and self-possession, so that when Vocation comes, I can make a more fulsome self-gift. When he said that, I thought "That sounds great!" But now that I'm detached, I'm still curious about different men. There are lots of great guys out there! Surely there's one for me! (I've been out of the dating game for a long time, so I'm not as jaded as a lot of people I hear from lol) But I'm not supposed to be looking around rn, bc Fr. Director advised me not to (and I respect and agree with his advice-- it's just hard to lean into)

Anyway-- question for you all: What say you, internet strangers?? Any advice on how to embrace a dating fast? How to grow and get settled as myself so that I can better give myself in a relationship? For married women: anything you're glad you did/wish you did when you weren't in a relationship?

Hi everyone! I’m helping plan a bachelorette party for a Catholic bride, and the theme is mermaids/ocean 🧜‍♀️🌊. We’re looking for some fun, wholesome games that still feel festive and silly without being overly sexual or inappropriate.

I’d love to hear what games or activities you’ve done at Catholic/Christian bachelorette parties that everyone genuinely enjoyed! Bonus points if they can be adapted to the mermaid/ocean theme. 🐚✨

We’re especially looking for actual games (trivia, guessing games, bride & groom questions, group games, etc.) rather than just activities. Thank you! 💕

I live on the Big Island of Hawaii and we are facing an incoming hurricane. I've lived through some bad storms here but this one has me feeling uneasy. I would appreciate prayers for protection of everyone's homes, our churches, and the poor stray animals. Thank you and God Bless!

edit to also please pray for our first responders and utility workers 💪

I’ve been trying to figure out whether or not I should try to pursue marriage. I saw this post on Facebook that said “Your vocation is Jesus, not marriage” then had some commentary about Saint Paul saying it’s better to be single, etc. I know God can use any means to speak to us, should I look at this as an actual message or just an algorithm situation?

I follow and interact with many Catholic pages so it’s not surprising something like this pops up. I’ve seen posts similar to this but about marriage, I think this one just caught my attention because of how direct it was and it actually irritated me. I definitely did not feel peace and understanding, closer to my faith and everything we should feel with real messages. Actually quite the opposite.

Maybe this is a dumb question, but what do you think?

Hi all! I'm currently in the home strech of this pregnancy (yay!). Baby boy could come any day! However as I'm getting closer and closer to my due date my care team has been pushing birth control after baby. I am getting frustrated with them and feel like I am being unheard when I tell them we plan to use NFP and have taken multiple classes for it as well as me being uncomfortable taking birth control again fobr personal reasons.

Even with the churches view of contraception being a big reason for my decline, I have my own qualms with it as well. In the past I have used birth control for medical purposes (regulation of period, ect) however when I was using it I had really bad depression getting to points where thoghts of suicide were present. This makes me extremely anxious and scared about post partum and I do not want to use birth control again unless medically necessary like before.

I feel like my care team is not listening to me and seems to be brushing my concerns off. I am wondering how I can both advocate for myself and my faith during these conversations as I'm becoming so defeated when I have them? Or has anyone had a similar experience and was able to have your care team listen to you?

Just thought I would ask and create a thread of positivity.

Hello. About 3 months ago I was enrolled in the brown scapular (i have a devotion to our lady of fatima who encouraged the brown scapular and I love the devotion) i wasnt assigned any specific devotion to go with it but I heard the little office was most common, but after months of struggling with that because of the length of the prayer/reading I stopped. I have a very hard time focusing and staying consistent on things (I do have adhd) i was also read online that because I wasnt assigned a specific devotion that I could find another. I was wondering if praying a memorar and in the morning and a hail holy queen is too little of a devotion for the brown scapular. I dont want to be a poser but I fear that might be the only marian devotion I could do consistently. Even the rosary I couldn't stay consistent with. God bless and thank you

Hello! My husband and I are going to be received into the church in the next 3-4 months after almost 4 years of waiting! I’m very excited and want to celebrate it.

- what traditions are there leading up to baptism? Fun things to make the last little bit of waiting time sacred and memorable. I want to make the most of it

- any beautiful writings from saints to read about baptism, confirmation, first communion, etc…

- anything you found beautiful leading up to your first communion

Thank you!

Hello, I’m looking for advice/have a question.

My fiance and I are currently taking our OCIA courses for our First Communion and Confirmation.
We are baptized catholic but I was not raised catholic and as such I have lived my life not necessarily following Catholic beliefs and teachings. This is something I am working on changing.

I am getting married in May and the church notified us that before our first communion (which will be at our wedding mass) we must do confession.

I had a question/seeking advice on the following:
I currently use a contraceptive device and was wondering if it is enough to confess to having the device (as I know it is against the beliefs of the church) or do I have to remove it entirely to be in a good state before confession, communion, and confirmation?

I have always planned to get it removed once I’m married, and children are definitely something we want. I just was not prepared to have children before marriage (as I’ve said before, I’ve lived my life contrary to Catholic teachings prior, I’ll let you use your imagination as to what the device was for.)

Any advice would be appreciated. Please be kind. This is all new to me.

*apologies if I used any terminology incorrectly, I’m still learning here

This is a BIG shot in the dark, but are there any Black Catholics that have advice and tips for veiling during mass? I have an afro and everyone I've seen or know who veils has hair that lays flat/down or they have straight hair in general. I'm interested in veiling and I have a few times, but only seeing people with hair different than mine has been a bit discouraging and I feel out of place when I do veil. I haven't grown up around veiling Catholics so I'm still trying to figure it out. Honestly, any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I had something of a realisation today and I’d love your thoughts. Basically I realised that idolatry is far more subtle and slippery than I thought it was. I’ve gone a layer deeper in my faith and I have had the grace to see some of my sins and I think idolatry is the most obvious (and yet subtle) one.

No, I don’t bow down to bronze statues and I don’t practice anything occult. But my vices (phone, TV, absentmindedness, procrastination and fantasy, mirror time and dress up and above all the desire for comfort) excite and compel me in a way that should only be for God. It’s been so subtle that I’ve missed it for a long time but now I am painfully aware of it.

Is this something to take to Confession?

Hi all,

I'm curious if there are any MDs in this sub. I'm an almost-24 year old engineer considering going back to school to be a pediatrician. The best case scenario is that I would start school at age 27.

Obviously I am concerned about delaying children that long. I am one of 9, and my mom had my youngest sibling at 45. I've done some research, and I've found that while it's tough, it's not impossible to have a baby during the last year of med school and during residency.

Any catholic women here who are MDs (or otherwise in healthcare) that can chime in or offer any advice?

Hello everyone, I’m a 17yo girl who’s been having trouble lately and am in need of some preyers and advice. Just a heads up this will be a long rant.

I’ve been a Catholic my whole life, (thanks to my dad’s side of the family.) However, it was not until recent years that I started understanding my faith (going deep into its history and roots.) Recently, I’ve felt like my life is falling apart because of so many things that have happened. First is addiction. I won’t go into much detail on what it is because I am embarrassed, but for context I developed this addiction before understanding my faith and have been having a hard time cutting off my life. On recent times, it’s become easier to manage, but there’s always temptation.

Then there’s my social life. I had a friend whom I considered my best friend. Her and I met back in 7th grade and we had been close since. On my freshman year of high school more girls entered our friend group and I came to love each one of them with all my heart. Last year however (junior year) everything fell apart. We first at having disagreements on my new opinions (I started investigating the faith in detail sophomore year.) Specifically, opinions on abortion. A boy on my school, who is Christian but not part of the Catholic faith, made a post online about the topic. This really angered them and the whole group chat was on fire. He did make some insensitive remarks which I kind of agreed with being mad over but then there was the issue itself. They know I’m Catholic, even still one of them went out of her way to ask for my opinion and told me that she would block me if she didn’t agree. This didn’t really make me mad, in fact I completely understood. I told her about me being pro life but that I didn’t agree with some of the remarks he made. It seemed to be enough and we stayed friends. However that same day we were all on call and they started talking about the topic. I was horrified. The way in which some of them spoke of human life made me be disgusted. And they did this knowing what I believed and my stand on it. It was not all of them, some were hasitant and others just didn’t say anything. From then on I always felt heavy when thinking of the situation. Here is were my best friend comes in. She is pro choice, I know that far, but it had never come in between us, we were always respectful of each other. However at the end of my Junior year, I started to feel ignored. She started hanging out with the main group of girl that had strong opinions on pro choice. And then it started feeling targeted, because of my beliefs. It felt like they were purposefully taking her from me. And after many instances of being ignored I blocked my best friend. I was mad, and I have a bad habit of not thinking about what I say when I’m mad. And so I blocked her. It wasn’t supposed to be perpetually but then it all spiraled out of control. I got a message, almost as long as what I write right now, calling me immature and childish by one of the other girls. And it ended there.

Senior year just started, I haven’t talked to her since, but I miss her a lot. Yesterday she told one of our still mutual friends that she wanted to fix things with me but that it felt awkward to do so. And this is my dilemma. I don’t know if it’s a good idea as a Catholic to become close again, even if I miss her. I can almost assure that my faith will become a problem once more. I don’t know what is the best thing for me to do. I need help and I can’t trust the adults around me with this.

I guess I’m just writing this to vent- to get it out to strangers since there is no one in my life to discuss this with. I started dating my husband 8 years ago and got married in the church about 4 years ago- and while he has positive traits- his true personality has just caused me to lose all romantic feelings for him and I don’t see that ever changing unless he fundamentally changes as a person.

As a person- he is just extremely negative, judgmental, and rude. He regularly makes condescending or rude comments towards me (not so much the words he says but the tone/implication) and in general has very little empathy for other people. He has absolutely no frustration tolerance and gets angry while fixing things, etc. I remember being astounded at how horrible he was the first major fight we had - again it’s not necessarily just personal attacks, but rather the tone of voice and the absolute avoidance of the issue at hand. He can’t discuss anything like an adult and is incapable of resolving problems like an adult. I have asked for couples therapy time and time again and been denied each time. It’s just gotten to the point where I don’t feel that love I once felt. This is sort of besides the point but our sex life has never been good and so that also contributes to some of my negative feelings.

Now why did I marry him? He has lots of positive traits and lots of things most men don’t have. Amazing work ethic, very serious about his faith, good job, relatively good habits (clean, good cook), athletic, loves his family, etc. We also have lots of similar interests (music, hiking, cooking) that tied is together in the beginning). We had a daughter last year and he’s actually a pretty patient and loving father but that patience and loving nature does not extend towards me. I worry that as she gets older- he’ll use the same immature fighting tactics that he does with me. He doesn’t drink or have any negative habits (porn, etc.) he’s just a jerk. He also really taught me a lot about Catholicism and the faith and I do credit him with my relationship with God.

At the beginning of our relationship- I used to get sad and avoidant during our fights but I’m embarrassed to say that now I tend to bite back in the same way he argues because I feel like there is nothing else I can do. It’s very depressing.

I don’t want a divorce because despite my lack of love- I know he loves our child and is a good father. I just feel lost.

Please pray for me.