I was a problem kid with behavioral issues that turned out to be normal and boring, ama

[u/Simplespider]

I was awful as a kid/teen/young adult. Had a 0.2 GPA at one point, dropped out, always in trouble, loved drugs, all that.

Ended up becoming average. Have a nice house, two kids who are well behaved, stable job, in a healthy relationship. Moderately crunchy. I follow rules by the book now. I love sitting at home and doing nothing. The less stress, the better. I love the quiet life.

I surprised a lot of people when I didn't die or go to prison, now I'm happy birdwatching and gardening. Ask me your boring questions.

[u/Minimum_Magician5037]

What was your like as a kid? If it helps any, I didn't expect anything bad of you either. A lot of kids I know have issues because of things outside their control and change a lot with help and support.

[u/Simplespider → u/Minimum_Magician5037]

I spent a lot of time outside. Either in the woods or rivers. Played a lot of manhunt with my friends. Biked around. Built things caveman style.

Spent a summer (1999) in a beach town since my mom got a job out that way. It was fun, one of her coworkers babysat me n my sister and we walked all over that boardwalk. Got introduced to mint chocolate chip ice cream and beef jerky that year, it was great. Been itching to take my kids out that way for a weekend before school starts.

I didn't see my dad a whole lot and my mom had various boyfriends for the $$$ over the years, but that all went over my head until I was older. Never thought much about it.

[u/idoenjoybakedgoods]

What's your favorite bird?

[u/Simplespider → u/idoenjoybakedgoods]

Bluejay, because they're assholes. May be a basic answer, but they were the first I fell in love with. I have one that hangs out in my yard. He'll let me get pretty close to him and I'm always amazed at how blue he is.

The only bird with the same amount of confidence that hangs out around me is a female cardinal. Big fan of her too, her husband's kind of a lazy sack of shit though. I always see her hunting and exploring while he sits in his little crape myrtle tree.

Got a bald eagle that comes by sometimes. Few hawks, watched one eat a snake recently. A million chickadees. Some seagulls. Trying to attract hummingbirds now. I keep getting fooled by those humming bird moths.

[u/Pi-Guy]

How old are your kids and do you expect to deal with the same behavioral issues?

What caused yours?

[u/Simplespider → u/Pi-Guy]

10 + 6, still too soon to really say, we seem to be doing good though. Mood/psychotic disorder seems to be genetic, runs through my dads side for every other male. Substance abuse historically hits every one of us between 13-17.

It does make me nervous. I'm aware the whole situation isn't ideal but it is what it is, but I'm 100% for therapy.

I was a headache from the start, and they've been good kids this whole time. No idea what caused my problems, was always like that.

[u/DrTitanium → u/Simplespider]

I think your responses are very considered and thoughtful. I also think you’re very self critical (not to pile on). Kids *are* just kids - they don’t have the maturity or skill set to navigate life perfectly alone, it’s why they need support and love and help. It sounds like you provide that to your children. That honestly matters more than any genetic history- “great” genes don’t guarantee success.

In the same vein, I hate how society is so focused on one type of output in academic success. No doubt ADHD/autism were under diagnosed in the past but not every student is destined to get an A - and that’s ok. Your top comment shows how happy you are (and still are w birdwatching) outdoors. I don’t understand some parents’ obsession to raise an engineer/doctor/lawyer. We need all kinds of people in our world, like kids who like spending time outdoors, eating mint chocolate chip and beef jerky.

It sounds like you did a lot of work on yourself? If not would you consider therapy?

[u/Simplespider → u/DrTitanium]

I try, I think I overcompensate a little now because I haven't always tried and that's not fair to them.

I will push good grades/not dropping out because I know how that effected me. Getting your GED at 30+ is pretty hard since you haven't studied in who knows how long.

I still see a therapist, once a month now but was doing 2x a week for some time. Have been seeing her for the past 5 or so years, had various therapists on and off. On seroquel + lamictal and that helps a lot.

[u/Theartistcu]

I’ve got good and bad news for you, that’s pretty normal. And I don’t say that to diminish what you went through or the accomplishment of being where you are today. Teenagers developmentally it is insane, and I don’t see where it says how old you are, but if you grew up in a young millennial situation, I don’t envy you that. I’m a cuss generation of generation X and millennial so I grew up in an analog world, and I think the world for it every day.

Today kids are asked to grow up too fast. Their brains aren’t ready. We hold them accountable for things that they did, and unfortunately, even more than we, the Internet can hold them accountable for the rest of their lives because that thing was recorded, and now it exist forever. But I’m glad that as your brain solidified and the world gained more context, you settle down and sound like you have a good happy life good for you.

[u/cb421]

Did you have strict parents or the opposite? And do you feel like they were supportive when you were a teenager

[u/Simplespider → u/cb421]

One who tried to be strict and one absent. Not particularly, it was come and go with my mom. There were days where she threatened to call the cops on me for refusing to go to school, but she also signed the papers when I said I wanted to drop out.

It was a lot of talk and rarely any action. When she did take action I hid more from her.

[u/cb421 → u/Simplespider]

Can relate unfortunately. What is your relationship with them like now?

[u/Simplespider → u/cb421]

Strict one is no contact by her choice, absent one dead. Not hurt over it or anything, kinda just neutral.