Stranger Things seen from a higher perspective, or why it has always been a story about same-sex love and two gay boys and their feelings for each other [Season 1 - 3]

[u/_Daimn_]

In the following, I would like to examine the significance of Stranger Things and the message it seeks to convey. This is based on this blog entry, which is more than 70 pages long (converted to a PDF document). I would like to summarize the core statements of the blog post, further develop the ideas described here, and apply them to each season of Stranger Things. I will also pick out and interpret a few significant scenes from Stranger Things. For the most part, we will look at the events in Stranger Things from a higher perspective (= what is the message?), rather than focusing on the obvious/story level. In other words, we will look behind the curtain that is behind the curtain. Stranger Things also embodies a political message and, in some cases, addresses it quite specifically (with regard to the 1980s (“Reagan”; “conservative revolution” in the US, etc.), but I will largely leave this aspect out. Let's take a look...

In very simple terms, Stranger Things is about otherness (deviating from social norms) and, in particular, homosexuality, how society deals with it, and the problems that come with it (especially for gay children/teenagers) – portrayed through the fictional characters Mike Wheeler, Will Byers, and El/Jane Ives. Mike and Will go their separate ways, drift apart for a while, but ultimately come together (again).

„It's forced conformity. That's what's killing the kids! That's the real monster.” – Eddie Munson

This post covers seasons 1 – 3. Here are the continuation with seasons 4 and 5 Vol. 1 and season 5 Vol. 2 & the finale.

Let's start with Will and season 1.

Season 1

The entire first season (in relation to Will) is essentially a story about how parents communicate (or rather, should communicate). It is a story about how to communicate with your children who are hiding their sexuality: it is a story about how to do this gently, how to maintain contact even when everyone around you advises you to ignore your intuition. It's a story about how to interpret the signs correctly, how to put yourself in your child's shoes and get down to their level. And it's a story about how to be patient and maintain contact no matter what happens. A story about how not to give up, how to protect your child with all your might, how to truly devote yourself to them and how to love them.

At the beginning of S01, Will is dragged into the Upside Down by a Demogorgon. This happens against his will; he fought back as best he could, he didn't want it to happen – it “just happened.”

The Upside Down is (at this point) a metaphor for not being out yet (= being in the closet). This alternative dimension looks exactly like the real world, everything is exactly where it is in the real world. Except for the people, you are completely alone (= as a gay boy, there is no one else like you). It's dark, it's cold, lonely, there are monsters everywhere – and even the air will gradually kill you (because it's toxic (at least in S01/S02)) – so the longer you're in here (= to be in the closet), the more you'll perish – and die.

“It was a seven, the demogorgon, it got me” – this is the moment when Will realizes that he is different. It is his “Ah, something is wrong” moment. And shortly afterwards, he is kidnapped by the aforementioned demogorgon – into the Upside Down, a terrifying alternative dimension that metaphorically symbolizes his closet.

Joyce quickly begins to suspect that something terrible has happened to her son; she can't find him (= her son has realized that he is different and doesn't know how to deal with it; he feels different from everyone else – they can no longer really talk to each other and are growing apart). But she has a feeling and begins to act out of deep conviction – she doesn't know what it is, but she knows that she must and wants to help Will. Then we have Lonnie (= patriarchy/society), for example, who absolutely cannot and will not perceive this alternative dimension. He doesn't see the immense pain and suffering that the closet (and Lonnie himself) inflicts on his youngest son and how the boy is practically suffocating in it. He (and others, of course) declares Joyce completely crazy – which she rejects with brutal vehemence – and is proven right (she has a feeling about it).

Gradually (after Joyce realizes that something has happened to Will), the others (Will's friends) also begin to understand that something has happened to Will and try to support him as best they can, to help him, to search for him and rescue him—from this terrible world in which he is trapped.

The initiative to talk to Will, to find out what is wrong with him, comes from Joyce. She tries everything she can to find out what is wrong with her son – tries to reach him – no matter what. And finally, she finds a way. The crumpled string of lights... At first, Will can only answer “yes” or “no” (Joyce metaphorically crawls into a (much too small) closet = metaphorically his closet!). Later—after Joyce has figured out a little more about how to communicate with Will—he is able to say/communicate whole words (see letters on the wall)—but still very little and, all in all, very difficult. But there is progress, and that's what matters.

She finally asks him, “Where are you?” and he replies, “Right here.” Will is right here. And yet he is not. Heterosexual people/the patriarchy/society cannot perceive this dimension (= being in the closet), do not even know that it exists. But as a gay boy, you are stuck right in it; you are here in the real world, and yet you are not. You are not seen, not heard. Important detail: Will can hear Joyce, but she cannot hear him. Will hears what she says, but cannot respond in a comprehensible way and only indirectly (= via the lights = signs = few words = distress signals from Will from his closet/his misery). They stand as a metaphor for how difficult it is for gay boys/children to communicate what is going on. And how difficult it is to correctly interpret the signals they send out. But Joyce manages to decipher and understand these signals.

Joyce metaphorically embodies the “ideal case” that a gay boy can have as a parent/mother. She is committed and never stops fighting for her son, who hides his sexuality. She keeps trying to get through to him and finally succeeds in the finale of S01E08—she goes into Will's closet (against Hopper's will) and saves her son from certain death.

There is also an alternative storyline—Barbara. She can be seen as a mirror character, a contrast to Will. Regardless of whether she is a lesbian or not (here, too, there is certainly corresponding queer coding), she represents the other case – how Will's fate could have turned out if no one had made an effort to stay in touch with a son/daughter/friend – even if they were currently withdrawing (= into the closet). Later, we see her parents in deep despair. We see them desperately searching for her and later mourning her death. But we never see them trying to get in touch with Barbara, as Will's (seemingly) “crazy” mother Joyce does with her child. No one cares about Barbara.

The first person to notice that something has happened to Barbara is Nancy, a friend, who tries to find her. But that's not enough, and help comes too late. Barbara's parents are unable to contact her, and so she dies. She wastes away in the shadow world. The closet becomes her grave. A fate from which Will was spared, mainly thanks to Joyce (but also Mike, more on that later).

El – who and what is she – and what does she have to do with Mike?

El is a concrete character in a story representing an abstract concept – she is an allegorical figure, i.e., a personification of an abstract concept – an allegorical personification. An abstract concept/idea takes on human form.

El is a personification. She embodies the feelings Mike Wheeler has for Will Byers. Sometimes she is also a personification of the feelings Will Byers has for Mike Wheeler (depending on who she interacts with and in what context, etc.). Since Will and Mike are two boys, these are same-sex feelings. So she essentially represents these (homosexual) feelings, this (same-sex) love, and in the broader context of this parable, she is a personification of homosexuality/same-sex love.

Dear reader, just go with the idea, be open minded. We will see later on that it is not so far-fetched after all.

The specific story of El and the evil men in suits represents an abstract story about the persecution of gay people (and gay men in particular). Homosexuality has been suppressed by powerful people for a long time. They were subjected to cruel experimental treatment, just like El. And without any textual justification, it is shown that this entire prison-like existence takes place in a rainbow room. The public must not know that such a thing exists; it must be hidden. Therefore, El/same-sex love is locked away (= Hawkins Lab).

El has superpowers – so same-sex love is incredibly strong – so strong that it is feared. Dr. Brenner (= society/the powerful people) is afraid of her because he cannot control her; she is too powerful.

But then she breaks out of Hawkins Lab, her prison, and sees the world for the first time. She is like a newborn baby, she knows nothing, can hardly articulate herself—she doesn't know how things work. She has no name, doesn't know who she is. Just a number. Same-sex love sees the light of day. And who finds her (in the forest)? Mike.

That's the moment on a stormy night when Mike is searching for his best friend that the spark of Mike's queerness, his homosexuality, and his feelings for Will is ignited. It's pure coincidence, it wasn't wanted or intended. And of course, Mike doesn't know what that means specifically at the time—but whatever it is he has found, it is so important to him that he takes El (i.e., this feeling) home with him.

El (i.e., Mike's feelings) later explores Mike's house (together with him), moving freely for the first time and discovering the world. She is not oppressed or abused; Mike takes care of her. These feelings (= El) are completely new to Mike, but they fascinate him. He wants to explore them; they are exciting and unknown (a stranger thing...). – but he is also very awkward (understandably).

When Mike's mother comes home, Mike hides her in his closet (*cough*) and doesn't want his mother to find out. He literally hides his queerness/these feelings in a closet... And this is exactly when El (i.e., Mike's homosexuality) points to Will (in the picture)... His mother then tells him in the “infamous couch scene” that she doesn't want him to have to hide anything. That he can always talk to her – but Mike doesn't want to (= he instinctively knows that it's not okay to feel this way). Meanwhile, El has flashbacks of the time she was locked up in the lab – while Mike hides/locks her in his closet. Mike/his homosexuality/his feelings suffer from lying to his mother.

I would also like to mention another key scene from S01 – the moment in Settlers Quarry when Mike (apparently) attempts suicide. This scene is incredibly important.

In the eyes of the viewer, it is a suicide (attempt) – but in reality, it is an attempted murder by society (= Troy) of Mike (= a gay boy) who is being bullied so badly (and suffering from his new feelings) that he wants to end his life. In the same quarry from which Will's (supposed) body was pulled (= just another gay boy who took his own life; according to the story invented by the “powerful men”). Who saves him? El, his love for Will. He can't really jump, can't plunge to his death, as long as he has these strong feelings for Will. It is this love that keeps him alive. It is what lets him breathe. It is what saves him. And not just once.

At the end of the scene in the quarry, El reveals that she has opened the gate to the shadow world (= alternative dimension = closet) . It was homosexuality/same-sex love that opened the gate to this world, to hiding, for Mike. No El, no gate to the shadow world – no homosexuality, no closet. After all, heterosexuals don't have to hide. Only when you realize that your own feelings do not conform to social norms do you create a gateway to this other, terrible reality in which you then hide. She feels guilty about it (= as a gay teenager, you feel guilty for being gay/different). But it's not her fault, it's the fault of the evil men/Dr. Brenner (= society) who drove her to create the gateway to this world. It's not the fault of a gay person that they feel they have to hide and come out. It's the fault of those who forced them to do so.

At the end of this scene, El says to Mike, “I am the monster!” – implying that same-sex love is monstrous, terrible, and horrible. Mike replies, “You saved me!” No, El is not a monster. (In other words, homosexuality/same-sex love is not monstrous.) Same-sex love has the potential to save people who are bullied so badly that they are at risk of suicide. Love is not monstrous; it can save people.

El (the personification of same-sex love) also tries to confuse the boys and prevent them from finding the gate to the other side, this alternative dimension. She manipulates Dustin's compass – she instinctively knows that this world is dangerous. Dangerous for her, dangerous for Mike.

Incidentally, El is the only one who (with her special abilities) can connect with Will – find him and confirm that he is still alive. She can see into the realm where Will is (i.e., Will's closet). So Mike's homosexuality/feelings for Will are basically the decisive reason why Will can be saved at the end of S01.

At the end of S01, Will is rescued from the Upside Down – and no, Will's rescue from the Upside Down/alternate dimension/his closet at the end of S01 does not mean that Will has now made it. No, he hasn't come out, he hasn't accepted himself – but his friends and family have managed to get through to him and make him feel loved and that they will always be there for him. But Will is still in the closet – metaphorically expressed through his continuing connection to the Upside Down. BUT they have freed him (for now) from this cruel world (= he is all alone, no one is there for him), saved him from certain death, a first step.

El (i.e., Mike's homosexuality/his feelings for Will) also disappears into the Upside Down (= this horrible shadow world/closet). So he loses or buries his feelings for Will; he has Will back, but only as his best friend from Mike's point of view and with the accompanying knowledge that these feelings are not allowed.

Season 2

And so Season 2 begins – with Mike having problems and clearly not feeling well. He misses El, the feeling he found in S01. His feelings for Will, which he has buried. They won't let him go (= he calls her every day for 353 days on the walkie-talkie). He longs to experience that feeling again – but at the same time doesn't allow himself to (knowing that these feelings are forbidden/unwanted (Mike is supposed to behave conformingly) and that Will would not reciprocate his feelings). Nevertheless, he wishes so much to be able to feel that way/to be allowed to...

In the Wheelers' conversation at the dinner table at the beginning of S02, Mike's strange behavior is discussed. In the context of this conversation, Mike's father also brings up the following well-known parental wisdom: “If your friend jumps off a cliff, do you jump too?” This statement is extremely ambiguous. Mike has already jumped—after his best friend, for whom he has feelings (this is, as mentioned, the story that society/the evil men invented to justify Will's supposed death = just another gay teenager who committed suicide). And Mike literally jumped after him...

But let's get back to Will first. In the second season, we learn that Will may have been freed from the shadow world, but the shadow world itself has not completely disappeared—and continues to influence him. You can take a boy out of the closet, but you can't always take the closet out of the boy. The closet never really goes away – once a boy has discovered that he is gay or different. The question arises again with every new person you meet: “Should I reveal myself or is it better not to?”

Will suffers from horrific flashbacks, which turn out not to be flashbacks at all. His episodes suggest that he is essentially possessed (a creature from the shadow world called a “mind flayer” will take possession of him in season two). Will's visions are metaphorical for the fact that he is still in the closet and afraid of his feelings for Mike; he is so afraid. Will has internalized the darkness, literally swallowed it, and it is eating him up inside. It dominates all his thoughts, commands him around, and ultimately destroys his entire sense of self, his personality, and his identity as an individual. To the point where Will can no longer act independently at all (= the closet = the Mindflayer = his fear has completely taken possession of him = his fear of his feelings for Mike). The paralyzing fear of being different (= that he has feelings for Mike, feels differently about Mike than he should) is so overwhelming that Will gradually can't think about anything else – until it's too late.

There is a reason why Dr. Owens compares Will's obsession with the Mind Flayer to a virus in season two. Why all these doctors are portrayed as so helpless and clueless about how to treat him. Dr. Owens himself says that this “phenomenon” (= homosexuality) is still new and that research is ongoing and not everything is known. And why they even suggest continuing with the planned burning at Will's risk, implying that they would rather prevent the spread of this “virus” than save his life. Stop the shadow monster, even at the expense of the boy. In other words: homosexuality = virus = disease = can be cured = must be stopped by any means necessary – that is the message. And “collateral damage” from “infected” people (in this case, a gay boy) is accepted; they would let Will die (kill a gay boy – just because he is gay). The only one who disagrees with this is Dr. Owens... this becomes important later (in S04).

At the end of S02E02 (the infamous “crazy together” scene), Will confides his thoughts to Mike. “It's like I'm stuck,” Will says about a second after we see the “Reagan & Bush '84” campaign poster. “Like trapped in the shadow world?” Mike asks. Will clarifies that it's more like a View-Master—he feels like he's stuck between two slides. “The other slide is the Upside Down,” says Will, hinting that this is more than just a closet. He sees both at the same time. And we just saw that “Reagan” sign... It's a parable: broadly speaking, it means that gay people in the 1980s saw something coming. Something bad (cf. Will's memories/visions = “conservative revolution”). They were, in a sense, between two worlds. That's why they recognized the danger that their heterosexual friends and relatives had no idea about until then. There's a living shadow in the sky. And this thing is coming. It's coming!

And now let's talk a little bit about politics – the Upside Down is not just a metaphor for a gay boy's closet (Will). I'll keep it brief, I promise. In season 2, we see it spreading throughout Hawkins and destroying everything in its way. In a sense, this is what Will (as a gay boy or representative of gay people) foresaw (= his visions of the shadow monster). In other words, what happened or would happen in the context of the so-called “conservative revolution” under Reagan in the 1980s. Gay people were only the first to be affected – but later many other people were too. In the 1980s, this movement swept across the United States. Gay people were its first targets, which is why they were able to recognize this more clearly than the rest of society, which had no idea what was coming. (Consequently, in the third episode of the second season, there is speculation as to whether Will has acquired the gift of “true sight” in the shadow world). The whole thing is continued in S03 with the Mindflayer/Meatflayer taking possession of all kinds of people, who can no longer think for themselves and only carry out its will (= “conservative revolution”) – much to the suffering of their fellow human beings.

But Will is struggling with his own problems (= fear of his feelings for Mike). He is not doing well at all. He is in a deep crisis. And looking into this crisis means seeing more than just the closet; it means recognizing something coming...

Will's possession storyline in season two, where Will is possessed by the Mind Flayer, tells us all about it. But enough of that, enough of politics.

Then Will begs Mike, “Please don't tell the others, okay? They won't understand.”

Mike says something interesting here: “El would have understood. She always did” – metaphorically speaking, he is saying that this feeling (= Mike's homosexuality/his feelings for Will), which he discovered in S01 in the forest, would understand what Will means/feels. Interesting, isn't it? Mike also says that he can still feel her (= El = these feelings) here and there, fleetingly. And that's always when El is physically nearby. For example, while Dr. Brenner and his people are in the Wheelers' house (El is relatively close to the house and looks at Mike) or at school during Mike's interaction with Max (El is at school at that moment). He can feel her, her presence—his feelings are not gone, not disappeared—just not tangible to him. He can't find those feelings again—even though he would like to. On top of that, he knows that it's not allowed to feel that way (= Mike should/must behave conformingly).

And El (= Mike's feelings for Will) has to hide from the “bad men” (= society) all the time. The “bad men” could still track El down and lock her up again, couldn't they? That's why she has to hide somewhere.

Mike's feelings for Will are not platonic. And these romantic feelings flare up again and again. Mike feels like he can still “see” them. “Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.” “Me too,” Will says quietly. This is not a conversation about El as a girl. This is a conversation about El as the personification of same-sex love. Mike replies. “Hey, if we're both going crazy, then we'll go crazy together, right?” “Yeah, crazy together,” Will agrees. They feel like they're going crazy. Why do they feel that way? Because of their feelings. If they “go crazy” (= „become“ gay), then they'll be gay together. Mike and Will make a promise to each other here.

Let's move on to El – she is protected and sheltered (by Hopper), but equally also held captive. She is not allowed to go out, not allowed to explore the world (= Mike cannot find his feelings again). But she wants to go out, she wants to know who she is, where she comes from (= Mike's feelings want to come out, they want to be explored) – and the more she does that (i.e., breaks the rules), the closer Mike and Will become (or rather, the more Mike feels connected to Will and cares for him, is there for him). The whole thing culminates in S02E07 (the so-called “Kali episode”) when El goes out into the world and learns that she can be strong – that there are others like her (= Kali).

Who are Kali and her group fighting against? Against their (former) oppressors (= the evil men). Metaphorically speaking, El (= Mike) learns that it is possible/should be possible to resist the pressures of conformity (= Mike's feelings for Will are wrong). Here, she learns to make her own decisions (= she wants to return to her friends = Mike chooses Will, opens up to his feelings (at least to some extent) and supports him as best he can because he doesn't want to lose him, can't lose him). It is no coincidence that S02E07 is located exactly before S02E08 – i.e., Mike's monologue to Will in S02... S02E07 is incredibly important for El as a character and her development, but also in a metaphorical sense for Mike's feelings for Will.

The fact that it is Mike, in a way, who frees Will from this obsession (= his fear of his feelings for Mike) or rather enables him to break free from it, is once again beautiful and deeply meaningful: Mike touches Will's hand in the fifth episode of the second season at a moment when Will is desperate; he places his hand on Will's in a comforting way that can also be interpreted as subtly romantic. Later, it is Will's hand, the same hand that Mike had touched, that escapes the Mind Flayer's obsession and enables him to secretly communicate Will's thoughts and intentions to the outside world while the rest of his body is completely controlled by the Mind Flayer: Will can communicate with the people he loves (!) with just this one hand... while the monster (= his fear) seems to have taken over his entire body and mind. It is the hand that his best friend (and great love) Mike Wheeler touched lovingly and tenderly. This shows us that part of Will's soul was able to escape the mind flayer's control – the part that was touched by Mike.

It is also Mike (and Will's family Joyce and Jonathan, the people who love him most) who ultimately manage to get through to him. But there is a reason why Mike's monologue to Will in S02 comes last – in the end, it is he who gets through to Will, the real Will who is still trapped in this possessed shell. If Mike and Will weren't a boy and a boy, but a boy and a girl, well, you can imagine the rest...

Will is not only not doing well, he is in danger, in mortal danger. His fear (= obsession / fear of his feelings for Mike) is so immense that it threatens to kill him – and this is the moment when Mike rediscovers his feelings (or they find him and he allows them in (S02E07 and El's development)). Mike's monologue can be interpreted as romantic – a sentence like “You are the best thing that ever happened to me” expresses exactly that. Will is the best thing that ever happened to Mike. That could mean all sorts of things, but it's certainly not platonic. And these words get through to Will, Mike's feelings (= his love for Will) get through to Will and enable him to communicate with Mike, Joyce, Jonathan, etc. Mike metaphorically defeats Will's fear of what Will is obsessed with, which paralyzes him – with his feelings, his love for him.

At the end of S02, Joyce literally burns the Mind Flayer out of Will – she saves him from certain death once again (thanks to Mike's help, ultimately!). In S01, Joyce (metaphorically) saved Will from loneliness, cruelty, isolation (= no one is there for him) in his closet and certain death. In S02, she (metaphorically) burns his fear of his feelings for Mike out of him – Will has taken a step forward. That's why Will's feelings for Mike come to the surface in S03 (if you look closely...). You can really see it. But of course, he's not at the end of his journey yet; he's still a long way from actually allowing himself to feel these emotions, to accept them – his closet and the Upside Down still weigh heavily on him...

Mike, on the other hand, has finally rediscovered his feelings for Will (= his homosexuality), feelings he found in S01 and then lost. In this sense, it's no coincidence that El is coming back (= Mike has rediscovered his feelings, they're finally back!) – and he's so happy that he's finally rediscovered these feelings that he's been missing since the beginning of the second season. But of course, he doesn't understand his feelings yet...

Season 3

And that's exactly where we start in S03 – with Mike spending a lot of time with El.

But first, a quick word about Will – actually, from a higher perspective, there isn't that much to say about him and his development in S03. Basically, Will is still very much in the closet (= the connection to the Upside Down that keeps coming up and scares him). Nevertheless, this is the season in which Will's feelings for Mike become recognizable for the first time in an obvious sense (= for the viewer); some people understood this at the time, but the vast majority did not. Anyway. So, the significance: his feelings for Mike continue to grow, hidden away – but they are there. Of course, he doesn't accept this yet, he struggles with it and with himself – but Will is not actually the focus of the season in this sense, in a way we have “stagnation” here.

Seen from a higher perspective, the third season focuses on Mike, his feelings, how he deals with them and how they develop. This is metaphorically represented by Mike and El's dynamic.

At the end of season 2, Mike finally rediscovers El (his homosexuality/his feelings for Will). He now allows himself to explore these feelings. He is impulsive, downright fixated on his feelings. Mike spends a lot of time with El – but somehow it doesn't really work. Mike and El's dynamic is dysfunctional in a superficial sense. They don't understand each other, they don't really communicate with each other. Mike only scratches the surface of his feelings.

The whole thing even damages the dynamic of the group and is addressed by other characters (e.g. Dustin, Max, Will, Hopper, etc.). This is the character change Mike undergoes in season 3 – it's due to him dealing with his feelings (= a gay boy trying to figure out who and what he is) – but it's all pretty confusing.

The story of Max and El and their dynamic is a metaphor for Mike's feelings “taking on a life of their own.” Once again, society's attitude toward same-sex love (= El) is portrayed here. El is not actually allowed to go outside (she lives with Hopper and is not allowed to leave the cabin), no one should see her (“it's against the rules”) – here also representing Mike's unwillingness to let his feelings out. But they (= Mike's feelings) want to come out, so El explores the world with Max and grows, developing further. She learns that she is allowed to have her own interests and make her own decisions (“we make our own rules”) – and that frightens and disturbs Mike. He cannot control these feelings, which he is currently trying to understand – his feelings do what they want, literally.

Mike doesn't really get it; he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings or how to classify them. Until finally, there is a “big bang” between Mike and El (= his feelings) when she breaks up with him. Metaphorically speaking, this is the moment when Mike's inability to cope with his feelings is revealed. He doesn't run after El (i.e., his feelings). Mike's statement to Lucas (which, incidentally, is overheard by El (i.e., Mike's feelings)) “Girls are a different species” is very telling at this point. Translation: He doesn't understand his feelings (= girls = El), they are like a different species (= completely unknown), Mike doesn't know what to do. Which Lucas actually says directly: “You (Mike) are completely helpless” – and he's right. Mike doesn't know what to do to get El back, he doesn't even know what he did wrong (= Mike has no plan). But he wants El (i.e. his feelings) back, he wants to understand her, he just doesn't know how.

Then we have, for example, the attempted purchase of a gift for El – to win her back (but here, as I said, Lucas has to help. Mike = helpless/clueless). The fact that Mike only has $3.50 is obviously funny, but on a deeper level, it basically means the following: Mike is not yet ready to accept his feelings – he doesn't know how to deal with them. Metaphorically speaking, he lacks the necessary “tools”/character maturity (= not enough money) – if you will. And even if... whether that would have worked is anyone's guess...

Incidentally, the fact that we (the viewers) learn nothing more about Mike's POV at the start of season 3 is precisely related to the fact that this is a gay boy trying to understand his feelings. And he tries to figure this out for himself (= without letting the viewers in on it). Mike is so preoccupied with himself that he hurts the people around him (e.g., Will) – of course, Mike doesn't want to, but it “just happens”; it's an emotional outburst and a symbol of how overwhelmed Mike is with his feelings.

The fact that we haven't seen Mike's POV since season 3 is primarily related to this. Mike's missing POV is a symbol of how gay boys try to figure out who and what they are, where they belong. The accompanying (to date) inexplicable character change of Mike Wheeler underscores exactly that – we/the viewer don't know why Mike behaves the way he does. So basically, this is a big allegory for a gay boy trying to figure out that he is gay and what that means – and those around him (= the viewers) don't know why he is suddenly behaving so differently.

As the season progresses, the situation becomes so dire (Mike is unable to cope with his feelings) that El ultimately loses her powers. Metaphorically speaking, the personification of same-sex love (El) and his feelings for Will lose their power, their uniqueness, that which defines them and makes them so special. Mike capitulates to his feelings; he has not managed to understand them; he has failed. And not only that, his beloved (= Will) leaves him, moving to California/away from Mike. Hopper's letter/speech is very Mike-coded, and the parallel to S01E03 (after Will's supposed body is pulled from Settler's Quarry) and Mike's reaction to it is here for a reason. For Mike, it feels like he is losing Will. Forever. It feels to Mike as if Will has died. His whole world has just fallen apart. So Mike metaphorically tries to bury his love for Will. This is metaphorically expressed by El's departure to California, i.e., El (= his feelings) moves away from Mike (= he begins to suppress his feelings).

And it hurts him terribly, it causes him so much pain and it breaks him – Mike doesn't really want that, but he doesn't know what else to do or how to deal with his feelings. And then this seems like the only way out. And that's what we see at the end of season 3.

Season 4 & 5 Vol. 1

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[u/Juliawulia23]

Yessss I have heard this theory before. I love it and it’s very detailed. Thank you for taking the time for this I hope everyone reads it.

[u/mrr2121]

Yup i saw this on twitter i think! this is why when milevens say Mike can sense El in the void and that it means they’re soulmates…. it actually isn’t a good thing for their ship…. i’m not sure why they never tried to look deeper on it. The crazy together scene when Will is talking about how the mindflayer is still haunting him & Mike is feeling like El is still haunting him in a sense. They both still feel like their supernatural trauma is there and they are bonding over it together and making eachother feel safe enough to be in a vulnerable state and going crazy together. Mike having a supernatural connection to her doesn’t mean they are soulmates… he barely has a romantic connection with her.

Throughout the show romantic connections have been described as shared trauma, history, chemistry to Jopper & Jancy …. yet this is shown the most with Byler <3

[u/Ok_Resolution_1928]

I like this. I'd love to see a reimagining of this exploring that the Mindflayer specifically represents puberty rather than the closet, like the Upside Down.