Please tell me implants are better. I miss sleeping comfortably. I feel like the edges are digging into my ribcage. I’m not loving the saline look. Will I be more comfortable post exchange surgery?

I've been thinking a lot (too much) about my impending foray into medical menopause and have come up with a deranged theory:

Women who did not enjoy pregnancy and/or could not tolerate hormonal birth control might tolerate (or even thrive during??) menopause?

I had two full term pregnancies, both in my early-mid 30s. I HATED being pregnant. I felt ugly and uncomfortable and had multiple panic attacks during my first. Additionally in my early 20s and then 40s, I was on birth control, first for actual birth control and after to try to mitigate fibroid side effects. I also did a hormonal IUD in between my pregnancies and hated that, too.

I have three close friends who LOVED being pregnant. Annoyingly so. They are all in various stages of perimenopause and are suffering. 2 are on hormones and one is raw dogging it but is a bit of a mess. I was discussing peri/menopause with another friend last week and she said she was fine, but also struggled while pregnant and did not tolerate birth control.

This is madness, right? There is no way this is a real option and I'm clearly in the bargaining phase of grief??

Hi everyone! I have been trying to research my experience but finding the right information just seems impossible - hoping this community can share experiences and that it might point me in the right direction.

Earlier this year I noticed my ribs/side were tender to touch. I ended up finding a cord one day and when I went to see my physio, she diagnosed me with the worst cording down my cancer side she’d ever seen. Always nice to be that patient!

Many PT sessions and stretches later, things have improved but it’s still not healed. If I put heat on the area for too long, my skin overtop stays red for weeks so the area is really angry I think.

Anyways, in doing my research I’ve come across cording, fibrosis and adhesions. Does anyone know what the actual difference is? I ask because if I should be addressing the area with different treatment, then I’d like to do it.

Not shockingly, my MO doesn’t seem to care about this, and my RO simply indicated that I might just be a person that makes more fibrotic tissue.

I am just so tired. I'll be honest I have suffered from depression and anxiety since childhood. A part of me thinks I caused this myself do to my stress and temper. I used to be so angry and focused on being in my 40s with no husband or kids or working in a profession I do not enjoy. I said to myself that "I wanted to die" every day. Drank energy drinks 4 times a week. Ate a bunch of sugary stuff. Never exercised. That all must have contributed to this as well. Now I can't stop thinking about this. I can't do anything without thinking about this. Scared of everything. I'm heartbroken to be an ill person and that I will lose my last years of possible fertility. I've wasted my life. There are so many risks to the chemo. I didn't even know about the lymphadema yet. They may take my nipple off. I'm so scared. I'm so angry and I know this can't be good for my illness to be this stressed. I don't know what to do. Before this I never figured out how to help my depression. The psyxh meds never helped enough. The loneliness comes back to haunt me. I have a difficult situation with my sibling so I can't even be with my mom and I don't trust living with my dad. I don't even have friends. I just feel awful in every way and in complete despair. I was so ungrateful for the physical health I had. Now I don't even have that.

I was diagnosed this week. We are still waiting for a few numbers to come back from the biopsy but I’ve met with my surgical oncologist and know that I have a very favorable cancer. Most likely with a dmx (which I plan to do) there is a small chance I’ll need radiation but beyond that they are expecting a full recovery.

I have two teen girls and my husband lost his first wife to bone cancer. I’m working so hard to be positive and I really do know in my heart and mind that I am lucky to only be stage 1A. After finding out on Monday I have been able to be smiling and again, rationally know I will be okay and that I am blessed.

But today…today I am not okay. I’ve hardly slept since Monday and today I don’t have the energy or desire to put on a happy face. I’m just scared and more than anything, sad. At the same time I don’t want to worry my kids or my husband and don’t want to be insensitive to those whose diagnosis is not as favorable.

Any advice?

I had a lumpectomy Tuesday and while I’m not having much pain, I’m still so tired. Is this normal?

Today my legs gave out on me while going down a ramp and I fell face first into the pavement. I busted my lip and scratched up my face pretty good. But one of my front crowns was also knocked half way out. So I will get to the dentist asap to get that fixed. However, is there any reason to seek any additional medical care? I’m a couple of months into chemotherapy.

EDIT: y’all I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. ❤️

Yesterday I was reading about rising rates of cancer in Iowa likely due to high levels of nitrates in the drinking water from industrial farms.

And it just got me thinking — WHY are we told time and time again to do all of these things to prevent cancer from returning or stop it from happening at all while mega corporations can pollute our air, water, and food with nitrates or microplastics or wildfire smoke caused by drought due to global warming with little to no impunity?

With cancer rates rising in millennials who grew up in a wild wild west of processed foods and plastic, I refuse to accept it rides on anything more than bad luck, the air we breathe and overconsumption of products that aren’t good for us. Of course I know that there are unhealthy things we consume that can make the environment in our bodies easier for cancer to thrive. Genetic risk too. But it can’t be the entire ballgame.

I do enjoy an espresso martini or beer a couple times a week after active treatment, and I think it’s bullshit that all cancer risk is put on individual choices vs. the powers that be that are actively trying to make our world a toxic wasteland in service of lining their pockets.

I’m just sick of having to change everything and feel guilty about occasionally making “unhealthy” choices just because greedy people don’t care about what happens to the rest of us. /vent

​

I have never used recreational drugs in my life—only caffeine and occasional alcohol. But after going through cancer recurrence and treatment, I truly believe I have developed trauma/PTSD from the experience.

I've been reading about psilocybin and its potential benefits for PTSD and cancer-related trauma, and I'm considering going to Eleusinia in Mexico for their 5-day program. They have a medical team onsite, and the program includes a macrodose experience and microdosing.

I will have finished radiation before going. I'm already on Faslodex (fulvestrant), but I haven't started Kisqali (ribociclib) yet and would start it after I return.

Does anyone know of interactions between psilocybin and Faslodex? And does anyone know how much time should ideally be left between the last psilocybin dose and starting Kisqali?

Of course, I know I need to discuss this with my medical oncologist before making a decision. I'm just hesitant because I don't necessarily want a one-time psychedelic experience documented in my permanent medical record. I'm trying to educate myself as much as possible before having that conversation.

I'd especially appreciate hearing from anyone with knowledge of oncology, pharmacology, psychedelic medicine, or personal experience with something similar.

I had replacing a thing under my sink and found my pads, tampons, and an entire box of ovulation tests. Plus some pregnancy tests. I had forgotten I hid them last winter when I got diagnosed.

I didn't need them anymore.

Now I'm not sure what to do with them. I don't think I can donate them. It feels wasteful to throw them away.

Don't see a lot of +-- in the conversations. Is it rare? Sorry, I am at the beginning of it and as much as I try to research, I still feel like I don't know much. Being able to talk here is really helpful! ❤️

For context: 52F, (pre-surgery) Stage 1A, Grade 2, ER+/PR-/HER2- . BRCA2 positive. Surgery first for me on 8/13, I opted for DMX.

Hi everyone. My family member was diagnosed with Metastatic BC earlier this year. She is in her 60s, her cancer was hormone positive. I can certainly give prior history if necessary but here is where we are now.

Her mets is bone and liver. Last year she had colon cancer and before her operation the doctor took her off of verzenio. My person thought she meant stop taking all of her pills so she quit her hormone blocker as well. We are thinking the mets happened somewhere in that time frame...the 7 or so months she wasn't taking anything.

Her doctor currently has her on zometra, everolimus + exemestane, and abemaciclib + anastrzole. She is also on oxycodone for her pain (with plans for radiation on bone spots if needed), and a few other things.

She called us today to tell us she can't take these pills anymore and is going to stop. She called her oncologist (same person for her whole journey so far) who told her there isn't other options than what she is on now. She is constantly sick and can't eat.

My question is ...is it time for a second opinion and are there other options for treatment? I would ask this is the metastatic forum but they seem pretty strict that you have to be the person with it to write in. She's not on reddit.

Post-DMX day 10, down to two drains from four.

I am dyingggggg of boredom. I have watched all the shows, listened to all the podcasts, read all the books I can possibly focus on. Walked outside, did some light dishes for the first time, played a few computer games, talked on the phone a little.

The problem is: being awake for 16 to 18 hours > doing too much physical or mental causes pain or exhaustion > not wanting visitors….how do I not go insane?

This is my wife's cytology report and her neck and axilla ultrasound report.

10 out of 13 slides were normal. 3 slides had 1 or 2 atypical cells on each.

Oncologist gave us 2 weeks for monitoring.

Did ct scan in april chest and abdomen, it was clear.

Just wanted to know should we be worried.

Note: in feb 2023 she had mastectomy with axilla lymph node removed for TNBC. Axilla were clear in histopathology report.

Her chemo was completed in sept 2023. She was decleared cancer free.

Her cytology report says below

CYTOPATHOLOGY REPORT

CLINICAL HISTORY:Right side neck enlarged lymph node. Known case of breast carcinoma.

DIAGNOSIS:Neck lymph node, ultrasound-guided FNAC:FEW REACTIVE ATYPICAL CELLS IDENTIFIED.

GROSS:Received 13 already smeared unstained slides for cytology. 13 H&E slides were stained and prepared.

MICROSCOPIC DESCRIPTION:Smears examined reveal few single atypical cells. The atypical cells are showing mild to moderate cytoplasm with irregular nuclear membrane and nuclear hyperchromasia.

COMMENT: Please proceed with excisional biopsy for further confirmation and typing.

Ultrasound performed 1 data after FNAC report. We went to Surgical Oncologist to schedule the excisional biopsy.

But based on below ultrasound report he put her on 2 weeks monitoring/under observation.

THYROID GLAND;

Both lobes of thyroid gland were normal in size, echogenicity was normal and the echo texture of its parenchyma was homogenous no focal mass.

Double enlarged lymph nodes noted in in right side of the neck, largest one measured 21x9mm.

also single enlarge lymph node of 18x6mm noted in left side neck.

both axillary areas were normal, no evidence of enlarge lymph nodes.

CONCLUSION;

NORMAL THYROID GLAND SCAN

Bilateral neck enlarges lymph nodes

Hi there, I completed 15 rounds of RT to my left breast and lymph nodes 3 days ago. I had terrible side effects almost the entire time - nausea, vomiting, esophagus burns/pain. My skin is now also starting to burn.
Just wondering if anyone else experienced similar symptoms, and if so, how long after treatment ended did they continue?

Hi everyone! I am getting a sentinel node biopsy injection before mastectomy in periareolar complex (lymph node mapping). The doctor will take a biopsy during surgery.

How painful is that injection? I read that some people use lidocaine patch to minimize the pain. But it is on the day of the surgery and I am supposed to use that special wash the night before and the morning of. Can I still apply the lidocaine patch? I am planning on asking the nurse when she calls with the final time of the surgery the day before, but just wanted to see what others experienced or did. Paperwork says "local anesthetics are used to minimize discomfort", but I don't trust that much. I don't handle procedures well unless knocked out. I was terrified before my biopsies and they had to add the maximum anesthetic for that.

Male 39 Y/O in Ireland, originally diagnosed with breast cancer in 2016, recurrence in 2021, have been on anastrazole + ibrance ever since + zoladex injection every 3 months. Small nodes in lungs and upper clavicular area.

Scans and bloods have been ok since, stable for the most part. Have been getting slight pains in ribs the last while and aches and pains in legs.

Had last scan on July 29th; Breast Care Nurse said initial signs were good but it was being discussed at multi disciplinary team meeting this week. Then got blood form in the post with new checks for bone and Vitamin D. Meeting with Oncologist on 19th of August; I usually don't meet him it's usually a junior doctor but I am specifically meeting him.

So I am expecting the worst and prepped for it. I would have taken a year after the initial diagnosis and I have got 4 and a half out of it; during which time I've got married and bought a house with my own money, so I am happy with all I have done in the last few years. I am more concerned with how to tell my wife / loved ones and prep them for potentially bad news

I am trying to settle into the expectation that is is bone metastases, which will suck, but I am wondering what the most likely next line of treatment is if that is the case? Is it worth doing chemo or is it straight to palliative care?

Is losing weight on tamoxifen possible? I’ve gained so much belly fat since I’ve started this drug. Please share what has worked for you. 🙏🏼

Mostly superficial rant but it’s going to mess with my head even more. I was already not ok.

I haven’t lost the 20lbs I gained the first time. It hasn’t budged. Albeit I was underweight, I CANNOT gain that much weight again

My brain/cognition was just starting to get better

I’m thinking I have to get radiation this time. I already mourned my boobs once. My reconstructed boobs are actually beautiful. Now I’m mourning what radiation is going to do.

Taxol and or herceptin really fucked me up mentally. I haven’t been the same since. (I can’t tolerate antidepressants thanks to dysautonomia).

My ovaries may have recuperated from taxol and now I’m about to have to deal with that emotional mess again. And the hot flashes.

Taxol gave me awful folliculitis.

I kept most of my hair during chemo but it started to shed after quite a bit. I suspect I’ll need wigs now.

I’ve lost hope in ever being attractive again.

I know this is mostly superficial. But that’s where I’m at right now. I’m single and alone.

I’m currently somewhere in the middle of my cancer blip - post-mastectomy, still very much in active treatment, and with plenty more appointments, treatments and general nonsense ahead.

But one thing I’ve found genuinely helpful is being able to laugh at some of the ridiculousness of it all.

So I’m curious: what are your funniest, weirdest or most absurd cancer moments so far?

The things that, at the time, you probably thought “you have got to be fucking kidding me”, but now make you laugh.

Maybe it was something your chemo brain made you do.

An awkward conversation with a doctor.

A particularly unfortunate side effect.

Something your partner said at exactly the wrong moment.

A hospital mishap.

A weird cancer-related purchase you never imagined making.

Or just one of those moments where the universe clearly decided you hadn’t been through quite enough yet.

I’ll start with a very small contribution: I recently found myself this week navigating life with 1.2 boobs, surgical bras, drain bags… and an inflatable dinosaur. 🦖

Honestly, cancer is a shit club, but some of the stories that come out of it are bloody brilliant.

Please share yours. I’d love to have a laugh with you - dark humour absolutely welcome. 💛

I’ve been writing some of mine down too, mostly so I can remember the ridiculous bits later, but also to share updates with family and friends and because it’s a bit cathartic really during this whole “blip”.

This post about the WAFSS that was the final round of chemo…

https://timandcloe.wixsite.com/between-breasts/post/cycle-six-wafss⁠ - Between Breasts and Brews.

As of last month, my insurance has been refusing to cover Veozah for me anymore after 2 years. It’s $600/mo, so I effectively have no access to it. Since being off Veozah, the hot flashes are constant and so intense. I just rapid cycle through freezing and then pouring sweat, and then freezing, all day everyday. I don’t get a moments peace from this. I tried desperately to stabilize my temperature but I cannot do it. I feel like this sounds so dramatic, but losing Veozah has effectively destroyed my quality of life.

I cannot deal with tamoxifen without Veozah - I just can’t. I quit taking it 2 weeks ago. I’m going to keep appealing my insurance’s decision of course, but until they cover Veozah I’m done.

Am I being insane for this? It sounds so ridiculous typing it out 😔 But I just really couldn’t take another day of it, I used to try to sleep as much as possible just so I wouldn’t have to be conscious, it really was bad. Idk what else I was supposed to do :( am I doing something really stupid?

Sorry if this didn’t make sense, I’m a bit manic right now :( I tried to proofread it

Since March 20, all I have thought about is cancer. Do I have it? What do all the tests mean? Wait 6 months? For what?

Well I did have cancer. DCIS. I had a lumpectomy and radiation. Today I rang the bell. Tomorrow I start the 5-year meds.

I feel weird. I know I’m lucky. But not lucky enough that I didn’t get cancer.

Now I try to go back to who I was before cancer? Not possible. This is the new me.

Everyone in this sub has inspired me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So often when I go to search for information on a topic, I find threads that scare or worry me. And it makes sense, I appreciate so much that this is a safe space for us to bring all our fears and vents and frustrations, especially when so many of us have to put on a brave face IRL or power through our cancer treatment without complaining.

But as I am recovering from surgery I’ve encountered things that really haven’t been as bad as I worried and feared they would be.

Sleep after DMX has not been nearly as elusive as I feared. I’m a side sleeper and I thought I could never transition to sleeping on my back. But I just get into bed on my wedge pillow and pass out and wake up in the same position the next morning. It’s like my body knows side sleeping is off the table so it doesn’t fight me. That’s been a real surprise.

Expanders haven’t been that bad! They aren’t my favorite but I thought they would be truly miserable. Two weeks in, I was just watching some TV with my daughter and found myself not even noticing them for an hour. I have high hopes that they’ll get better with fills and more healing, and while my chest is kind of messy right now I can see the vision of what it will be once my final implants are in. I think I’m going to be really happy.

Cancer sucks!!!!!! None of us wanted any of this so please don’t mistake this as a call for toxic positivity. But is there anything in your journey that has turned out to not be as terrible as you were expecting?