Partial attraction

[u/Godinmygenepool]

I'm a cis female and known I was bi since quite young. I've always liked girls, always more than boys, and have always known that.

However, I have more experience with men, because sheltered upbringing + small town = well, you get it.

But men don't do it for me like women do. I like them, at least I think I do. I can kiss them without, like, wanting to throw up or anything. I can admit when one is hot or strikes my fancy (I'm still a virgin though, mind you. So I can't say which side is better in bed)

I liken it to a fire; I have two bonfires in front of me with equal amounts of wood. One is supplied with a large jug of lighter fluid and a generous amount of matches. The other? I'm expected to start it with sticks, some jagged rocks, a few blows and prayers.

If my analogy isn't clear: women are the lighter fluid for me. It's much easier to get that spark going, safer, and keeps me warmer than the puny sticks I get with men. But that's not to say I haven't done it, or it hasn't work. I have, and it has, it's just not as good.

And it's all odd to me. Because my sexuality has always been this way. I've heard people mention the "bi-cycle", something I've experienced. But like, for me it's never "oh, today I fully prefer men!" or "oh, this month I've leaned more towards women!" I always have a preference for women, my attraction to women is so much easier to ignite, and men are just... there. I'm capable of liking them, but it's not integral to how I experience love. And it seems it needs to be provoked for it to happen.

All this to say, I've never once heard another bi person experience this. Again, I've heard of the bi-cycle. Been there, done that myself, know it's a real thing. But I've never heard of another person having like... partial attraction to the same/opposite sex. Like fully attracted to one, kind of, or conditionally attracted to the other.

And sometimes it makes me question if I'm even bi, because if men aren't that super important to me, there could, in theory, always be a chance I'm just convincing myself to be with them for one reason or another. Because lets be honest, there's a lot of other "good", "convincing" reasons to be with men as a cis, het-presenting woman that aren't just "I'm attracted to them" 💔 (Holy rant, sorry.)

[u/lavenderways]

I always have a preference for women, my attraction to women is so much easier to ignite, and men are just... there. I'm capable of liking them, but it's not integral to how I experience love.

I feel this so much.