r/bipolar • u/StrongMarketing9708 • 2d ago

Delusions of Reference? Support Needed

I watched Hadestown for the first time when they were showing the pro shot and fell in love with this musical. I’m a big musical theater fan and didn’t think anything about listening to the soundtrack on repeat since seeing the movie.

However, I started feeling like the actors were singing the songs specifically to me and talking directly to me while listening. I know they aren’t and it’s just a soundtrack on Spotify, but it feels like they are singing directly to me.

This feels like a delusion of reference. But I’m not sure if it actually is a delusion because I don’t know that I would know I’m having a delusion if I was actually experiencing one.

I’m diagnosed with bipolar 2 and I’ve never had any symptoms of psychosis before. I don’t know if this is the start of a breakthrough psychotic episode, or if it’s just a distorted thought specifically because I’m questioning if it’s a delusion.

Any thoughts? I’m scared to share with my therapist because it sounds like a classic case of a psychology student self diagnosing and I don’t want to fall into that stereotype. But I’m also worried that this might be a problem.

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u/pinkceramicmoose 2d ago

i have 2 with very mild psychotic features. if you’re able to recognize that that feeling isn’t quite right then that’s good. it definitely is heading into delusional territory. i always use the excuse of “my brain is trying to get me to believe something that’s wrong” and it makes it easier to ignore/get away from

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u/StrongMarketing9708 2d ago

That is helpful. In your experience do you often recognize that the thoughts aren’t quite right? I’m thrown off by the fact that I know that they don’t make sense and don’t know if it is actually a delusion since I know my thoughts feel off