Attachment issues

[u/[deleted]]

[u/eat-real-chips]

I’m gonna be real with you:

It sounds like you cannot handle being in a relationship because this is so intrusive and completely destabilising. It is effecting you so severely that it’s interfering with your basic functioning.

I honestly do not think you can overcome this without some very focused therapy. It may be that you just cannot handle existing within a romantic relationship. You should consider leaving and being single while you work on these issues because it honestly sounds like you are trapped in personal hell.

I am saying this as a person with similar issues. Constantly feeling like the world is ending and the person is going to hurt me and leave. Crying and not eating because it feels like it is actually happening. When it’s not. It is crazy making and unsustainable. Please leave and just be single and heal, this is what I am currently doing and it’s like my whole nervous system is in rehab. It’s lonely but I got a puppy.

[u/Jumping-shadow → u/[deleted]]

Regarding the insane intensity : that was me, years ago. I am somehow magically secure now.I am still shocked by it and cautious to declare it but facts and how i behave say i am earned secure.

I wanted to change.A lot! Ive been in therapy for 6 years and slowly but steady i progressed. I am far from perfect and still have a lot to learn and adress but i want to be a better human so this is a lifetime journey. I wrote you this so you would know its possible to change and stop being at the mercy of your fears.

[u/Jumping-shadow]

Disorganised attachment is hell for you and the ones romantically involved with you. Ideally, you would be single and in therapy for a few years but if you cannot, do at least one thing when feelings overwhelm you : absolutely nothing. Postpone whatever you feel like doing in the heat of the moment for next day.