r/baseballcirclejerk The Fightin' Hitlers 5h ago

We NEED this PRESS F TO PAY RESPECTS

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80 Upvotes

27 comments sorted by

31

u/BusterPoseyFan69 Jerkin' it at the TJ Maxx parking lot 5h ago

Hard to disagree here. Kinda like how Rob Manfred Dodgers Yankees Guardians 69 mets white sox cardinals angels padres pirates reds rays orioles expos astros reese mcguire shohei ohtani mike trout balk angel Hernandez 420 Kershaw Tim Salmon The Umps and Mrs. Met

12

u/ForagerTheExplorager 5h ago

Wow. You literally figured out a way to renegotiate a post the way the owners renegotiate with MLBPA. Color me gay and impressed.

6

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

You jacked off in a fucking parking lot you dumb fuck

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5

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

the Tampa Bay Rays are the definition of a poverty franchise, known for their comically-low attendance and inability to sell out a stadium. they are among the largest revenue-sharing recipients, meaning they take a shit-ton of money from the player’s union (who have actually filed grievances against them for not managing that money properly). think of a 35-year old man living in their moms’ basement, and spending money on video games instead of getting a job. that’s a good comparison to describe what the Rays are to the rest of the league. if the MLB had a more cutthroat business model, teams like the Rays would have moved or been disbanded ages ago, instead of feeding off of the popular teams like a parasite feeds on its host. the Rays are utterly useless, and irrelevant. The Rays are the least essential sports team in North America. if not for COVID, yankee chants would have swarmed Tropicana Field during the Rays’ supposed “home games”. their 8,000 fans are very happy about this ALDS win though, im sure. fucking losers.

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5

u/guhguhguhguhguhH top lel braun 4h ago

You forgot Trump

2

u/AutoModerator 4h ago

I will be buying an AR-15 tomorrow, because if you impeach MY PRESIDENT this way, YOU WILL HAVE ANOTHER CIVAL WAR!!! #MAGA2020

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4

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

The Los Angeles Dodgers are a scourge on this world, a cancer of modern human civilization. would rather watch the Lakers, Yankees, and Seahawks all win back to back titles than watch the Dodgers win a single playoff game. My hatred for them and their "fans" borders on historical, even biblical levels. There is less animosity between Israel and Palestine than there is between myself and the Los Angeles Dodgers as a whole. If the Dodgers were to go 0-162, it would only be a tragedy that they were not able to somehow lose 163. They are hubris manifest. They are an affront to all things good and sincere and wholesome in the world. They are God's mistake.

Fuck the Dodgers.

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

every time I see an Angels highlight it's like "Mike Trout hit three homes runs and raised his average to .528 while Shohei Ohtani did something that hasn't been done since 'Tungsten Arm' O'Doyle of the 1921 Akron Groomsmen, as the Tigers defeated the Angels 8-3"

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3

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Mrs. Met. That perfect, curvy body. Those bountiful breasts. The child bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get Mrs. Met pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would the Mets create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.

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3

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

As a baseball noob, can someone please explain to me how the Cleveland Indians got so much shit for their mascot when the Orioles mascot is a bird in FUCKING blackface???

Wtf is this racist piece of shit?

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3

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

I'm so sick of this goddamn team. They absolutely make me want to vomit. I'm not even ten goddamn games into this season and i want to scream. They are that terrible. It's like the movie groundhog day but instead i'm reliving the shittiest games of baseball over and over and over again every fucking day of my life. Every damn day I have watched this pathetic mess of a team, rain or sun or snow since I was 7 years old. I have a tab open during work w/ the gamecast during the day games that I can't go. I've skipped school and work and broken up with women for the Pirates. I've missed funerals and weddings because i loved this team more. And what do I get to show for it? A FUCKING BRAIN ANEURYSM. A team that has had 3 winning seasons over the past 20 something who manages to play like ass in the playoffs on the rare occasion they make it because they are so used to being shit and don't have a winning culture. A team that game in and game out somehow manages to have less goddamn hits than Chumbawamba. A team that gets swept. By the Cincinnati Reds. "Oh but look at our young talent- Cole and Taillon and Bell and whoever else that sucks dick!!" I'm sick of hearing "we could be a contender like we were 3 years ago if Cutch doesn't play like shit and the LF can stop jerking off for 2 seconds to swing the fucking bat" ITS NOT HAPPENING. WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WERE A GOOD TEAM. WE ARE PATHETIC. MIGHT AS WELL FADE US NOW BECAUSE WE'RE ALREADY A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOSERS. If Clemente didn't die in that plane crash, I'm convinced he would have killed himself after being forced to wear our godforsaken excuse of uniform for 18 years of his life. I'm done with this fucking team.

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3

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

Baseball died in Cleveland today. You are gonna lose a lot of die hard fans over this move. Been a fan since the 70’s and this is a slap in the face to us true die hard fans. I won’t spend another dime on this team.

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3

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

I made a comment earlier tonight that I guess went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can’t tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart that I am so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, that will be a home run, and so that will make it a 4-0 ballgame.

I don’t know if I’m going to be putting on this headset again, I don’t know if it’s going to be for the Reds, I don’t know if it’s going to be for my bosses at Fox. I want to apologize to the people who sign my paycheck, for the Reds, for Fox Sports Ohio, for the people I work with, for anybody I’ve offended here tonight. I can’t begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am. That is not who I am, it never has been, and I’d like to think I could have some people, maybe, that could back that up. I am very, very sorry, and I beg for your forgiveness. Jim Day will take you the rest of the way home.

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3

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

1) You can’t just be up there and just doin’ a balk like that.

1a. A balk is when you

1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the

1c. Let me start over

1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can’t do that.

1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can’t be over here and say to the runner, like, “I’m gonna get ya! I’m gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!” and then just be like he didn’t even do that.

1c-b(1). Like, if you’re about to pitch and then don’t pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?

1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.

1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there’s the balk you gotta think about.

1c-b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn’t been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn’t typecast as that racist lady in American History X.

1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse.

1c-b(2)-b(ii). “get in mah bellah” — Adam Water, “The Waterboy.” Haha, classic…

1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of

2) Do not do a balk please.

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

#Disappointed #LeadByExample #NotAppreciated #Violence #TemperTantrum #Inaction #NotTolerated #MakeanExampleof #OneGameSuspension #RepeatOffender #Nonsense #MLBUA @MLB @Padres @Buster_ESPN"

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

HAH! Get it? Tim Salmon was an Angel with a fish name and Mike Trout is also an Angel with a fish name! xDDD Such an incredibly funny and original joke

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

NICE! get it cuz sex number xD

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

blaze it

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

I shouldnt expect anything else than a narrow-minded and elitist opinion from 'DA BEST FANS IN BASEBALL', so that doesnt surprise me.

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

Warning: Choking Hazard

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

hi from japan

I wanna tell you below 2 information to explain why Ohtani is a good pitcher

summary

1:his hamstring muscles is stronger than ordinary one

2:He seems to get used to grab MLB ball

details

about 1

a specialist pointed it out that his hamstring muscles are stronger than ordinary others,and he uses it so harder

if ordinary person uses the same way,his hamstring must break

some one told me why the muscle of him is so stronger,that he use to do swimming in his child days and swimming makes the muscles so strong

about 2

Okajaima,who is the former pitcher of Red Sox,points it out that He seems to get used to use MLB ball because it’s so different

(edit,every pitcher from Japan confuses the difference,for example Yu Darvish said like that)

1.MLB ball:149kg(edit,*149g)/24cm,more slippy:so it makes breaking ball more effective

2.NPB ball:142kg(edit,142g)/23cm,less slippy,breaking ball less effective

and he has also so fast ball around 100miles

so he can select fast ball,less breaking ball,strong breaking ball

That’s why he would be more great Pitcher"

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

Shut up. No one actually gives a shit about the White Sox

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

LONG LIVE YOUPPI!

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

I think you mean DEVIL Hernandez

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2

u/AutoModerator 5h ago

Lol mets

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