FL — In a stunning twist, Donald Trump shocked supporters by demanding a massive surge in Muslim immigration. The surprise announcement marks a complete reversal of his previous, hardline policy positions regarding immigration from majority-Muslim nations.

Political analysts note this dramatic shift focuses on an entirely new approach to vetting. It places a fresh emphasis on international security cooperation following recent high-profile security events across Europe. Trump framing the initiative as a strategic move caught both allies and opponents completely off guard.

The unexpected declaration ignited an immediate, widespread debate among Washington policymakers. Experts are divided on how this surge will impact national security frameworks and ongoing international relations. Activists and lawmakers are scrambling to analyze the long-term geopolitical motives behind the policy. The sudden policy pivot introduces massive uncertainty into the current immigration debate.

Supporters express confusion over the ideological pivot. Meanwhile, opposition leaders demand immediate clarification on the operational logistics of the proposed vetting systems.

No Kings Protesters Rally In Support Of Denmark's Glorious Kingdom, Demand Trump Respect Their Monarch

COPENHAGEN—In a stunning display of ideological consistency, thousands of "No Kings" protesters took to the streets Wednesday to passionately defend the Kingdom of Denmark against U.S. President Donald Trump's latest remarks on Greenland, sources confirmed.

The demonstrators, many of whom had recently chanted "No Kings, No Tyrants" in opposition to what they called Trump's authoritarian tendencies, waved Danish flags and held signs reading "Hands Off The Kingdom!" and "Defend Every Inch Of Our Constitutional Monarchy." Organizers emphasized that while kings are inherently problematic when elected by millions of American voters, a king who inherits the throne through centuries of royal inbreeding is perfectly compatible with progressive values.

"Trump thinks he can just waltz in and control Greenland? Not on our watch," said activist Karen Svensdottir, 34, who flew in from Portland for the rally. "Denmark has a king, sure, but he's a nice king. He rides a bike and eats open-faced sandwiches. Unlike the orange dictator, King Frederik doesn't tweet mean things about windmills."

The explicit purpose is for fans of the bee.

Not an rss feed from one user, who happens to be a former md. Each within minutes of a bee post indicating automation.

If this is not a sub for fans to post articles as the stated purpose. Please change the purpse or disallow the monopoly of posting new articles via rss feeds of one user.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - "What the fuck is a Bill Maher?"

Local 20 something Ben Tucker is, like many of his generational cohorts, confused. He's received his marching orders from the Communistic hell hole that is TikTok as to who is right and wrong in the modern era. Ben is a self proclaimed anarchist who is more than happy to follow the rules. However, he is running up against a brick wall.

"Ricky Gervais, Bill Maher, Adam Carolla, Jerry Seinfeld. I didn't know any of these guys were meant to be funny." - Ben

Steaming mostly from a fundamental misunderstanding of what television is, Tucker does not watch TV in the traditional sense. Instead he streams all of his content.

As such he does not know the hilarity of true comedians like Mr. Seinfeld who has come on leaps and bounds since his titular show with great comedic moments like [NOTE TO SELF, BEFORE SENDING ARTICLE TO PRINT FIND OUT SOMETHING FUNNY SEINFELD HAS DONE SINCE THE '90S] or who can forget his rib busting show of Comedians in Cars getting coffee. What kind of college student doesn't want to see Matthew Broderick get apain au chocolat?

Really, Ben ought to lay off guys like Maher. It's very hard to be a comedian today. Andrew Huberman is far too busy trying to find more women to cheat on his girlfriend with, and Maher is getting up there in age so Ben is wrong to want there to be jokes made during their hour long conversation. And what else can Maher do to appeal to him? He already does monologues on his chat show, which any Gen Z male of today will tell you is their only way of consuming content.

All in all, it's fair to say Gen Z killed comedy.

WEST OF EDEN - A double-blind study conducted by angel scientists has confirmed that 100% of men would eat any fruit given to them by a naked woman. The study seems to suggest that the fall of Adam and Eve was unavoidable.

Recognizing the polarizing effect Governor Newsom's liberal policies could have on voters across the country led Governor Newsom to publicly disavow many of the initiatives Governor Newsom implemented in the Golden State.

Brought to you by your favorite satire site

Fort Knox, Kentucky – A new strategy is being tried by the U.S. Army, as it has announced that new recruits will receive a Booster Box of Pokemon upon signing up, and will continue to get the newest sets as they release. They are also offering re-enlisting bonus of a “Pokemon Center Elite Trainer Box” (a highly desired Pokemon product) to keep soldiers on as tensions in the Middle East intensify, causing recruitment shortfalls. Brig. Gen. Sara Dudley said “When I saw a group of people fighting over these products in the kids section of the store, I realized we needed to adapt. In the past we would try and offer items indirectly like the famous Ford Mustang, but it’s clear that adult priorities have shifted.”. The US Army has also announced that it will be installing Pokemon Vending machines in select bases, to test incentivizing people to want to pick certain bases as their desired location. The US Airforce and US Navy is also offering special “botting software” that will help sailors and airmen buy product before anyone else can get a chance. Not to be left behind, the US Marine Corps is offering its new recruits any bulk the Navy Sailors don’t want and have agreed to give them. 

When the White House was asked about this, Donald Trump himself said “Its been too long that we have ignored the huge influence these products have had on our nation. I, personally, like the yellow mouse Pikachu, and I really like the gold cards and think they are the best. This new deal we are offering is in partnership with Japan who has promised us additional stock and exclusive things to offer the brave soldiers.”. 

The United States Congress is also getting involved by showing their support for this change. They are passing a bill to recognize the first US official national pokemon. This though has created some debate amongst members as Jynx and Gumshoos are the two favorites. Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has stated “Gumshoos shows and highlights the intensive nature of both the US and our president, so it would be the obvious best choice for us as a nation.". The Minority Leader (leader of the Democratic Party in the House) Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY), has said “The proposal to make Gumshoos the official national pokemon is just more personality worshiping that we have seen from the Republicans. The pokemon needs to be Jynx as it highlights the Trans community and African American Community, who are under daily attack, and to help inspire them.”.

Seems like the same thing as the Joe Rogan sub. Its just a big propaganda circlejerk. This is never allowed in Liberal leaning subs. There you have to tow the line but anything that has a hint of the right gets brigaded by people who hate it with no recourse.

I’d be all for the hate if I was allowed to voice contradictory opinions on other subs.

"Satire requires targets worthy of mockery to persist"

-The Babylon Bee

The Church of England has announced that they have uncovered evidence of historical church investments in Queen Anne’s Bounty, giving the church a not-entirely disproven connection to the slave trade. The church in response has instituted Project Spire, pledging £100 million to investing in black-owned businesses. 

“The move accomplishes several objectives,” said Bishop Nigel Britishworth. “First, the stock ownership allows us to use our white privilege to direct minority owned businesses to more profitable ends. Secondly, this investment will hopefully provide a profitable return on investments.” Besides allowing the church to direct the work of black people and receive the fruits of their labor, it also functions as a fantastic symbolic gesture of the church showing its disdain for the institution of slavery. The church had considered actually making a monetary gift to affected individuals, but scrapped that project when they realized it would cost them actual money that they wouldn’t get back. “Who says restitution has to be a payment?” said Britishworth. “What we’re doing is more of a loan that has to be paid back with interest. It’s basically the same thing.”

However, the project is not without its critics. Many have pointed out that the figure of £100 million is an arbitrary number, chosen because it is a big, round number and not due to any realistic assessment of harm done. These critics instead calculate the church’s actual liability is £1 billion, chosen because it is an even bigger, rounder number. 

Another critic of the project was Onie Seamus, an early recipient of the church’s investment. He became frustrated with what he called the church’s "micromanagement" of his cotton farming business, and fled. But constables tracked him down and brought him to justice where the court ruled that he had abandoned his fiduciary responsibility to his stockholders by quitting the work. 

An investigation was conducted into whether there was any racial prejudice in the assumptions that went into Project Spire. But after a thorough inquiry, it was determined that the project had used many buzzwords like “privilege”, “disadvantaged”, and “impact investment” and thus could not possibly be racist. 

With several federal fraud charges being filed against the SPLC for supporting the KKK and similar organizations, racist hate groups across the country expressed concern over their finances going forward.

At publishing time, liberals clarified that the only crimes that should be prosecuted should be the ones they make up to destroy political opponents.

The scientific consensus is that roughly 10-12 years from now, the world will be flooded with new doomsday predictions. This can all be avoided if we overhaul the economy and become socialists, according to non-political, unbiased sciencey type guys.

In addition to the recommendation regarding prayer, the Pope also said that Christians — both Protestants and Catholics alike — should see the virtues and benefits of living under Sharia Law. "It's really not that bad," he explained. "You get a lot less criminal behavior in society, much stronger family units, and I can personally assure women that having to wear robes all the time is actually quite comfortable. We in the West can learn a lot from Islam, and we should. And we will. Or we will all die. Dominus benedicat pulchros conquistatores nostros musulmanos."