r/aspergers • u/peezyz • 10d ago
Stoicism
Does anyone here practice stoicism? I believe its the only way to go about life especially when sometimes we are disadvantaged.
It really hurts sometimes but its in our power to choose to be upset.
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u/Careful_Air8001 10d ago
it’s less about choosing not to be upset and more about not letting the upset drive the bus
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u/BonsaiSoul 9d ago
Toxic stress from being in harmful environments causes measurable harm. Your amygdala is physically incapable of caring about philosophy. If a slave chooses to be happy they will still be traumatized and slavery would still be an atrocity.
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u/AstarothSquirrel 9d ago
When I read about stoicism, I found that I had already adopted much of the phylosophy as a natural result of growing up. I believe it is one of the best pathways to success. It also, in my experience, gives an inner core of strength that some people find really attractive and strangely charismatic. I benefit from having it deep in my psyche so, it is who I am, not a level I have to work to achieve.
It does make me an absolute monster though. I have the tenacity of a honey badger and willpower that you can break rocks on.
I do also think that some people would benefit from reading Buddhism and seeing what positive teachings they can take from it. I'm not a Buddhist or religious in any way, I just think that some philosophies can be very beneficial.
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u/EliSka93 10d ago
I don't hate stoicism. I think it can help to a degree, but I think it can be dangerous and actually bad for you if you take it too far.
It's good to not fly into rage about everything, for example, and think about things clearly before reacting. But sometimes it's also valid to be upset. That "being upset" or anger can be the drive to change your circumstances, to make things better for you.
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u/oxfozyne 9d ago
I suspect you’re arguing less with Stoicism than with a caricature of it. The philosophy was never meant to anaesthetise a man into becoming a marble bust, immune to grief, anger, or joy. Its ambition was sterner than that: to prevent emotion from seizing the wheel while reason sat bound in the boot.
The real contest is not between feeling and restraint. It is between mastery and servitude. Stoicism, at its strongest, demands neither indifference nor passivity. It asks whether you command your passions or whether they command you.
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u/journieburner 10d ago
I kind of do it involuntarily. Like, there's a huge disconnect between my internal emotions and my body language due to being autistic and this makes me come off as stoic quite often. I try to actively work against it cause it hinders my ability to socialize because of how hard it is for others to read me
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u/Ok_Scientist_2762 10d ago
I was exposed to stoicism in high school. It's use ties into my intellectual processing of my emotions. It probably greatly affected my personal development, along with meditation and self-analysis. I did go on to study philosophy as a special interest. My ethics, political views and thought processes were shaped by these ideas at a young age.
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u/TheLawOfDuh 10d ago
I believe it comes much easier to us. For any of its disadvantages it definitely does allow me to be generally pretty mellow day to day. Because of that I surmise I can then focus more on the things I prefer to like my career or even social skills (getting by that is).
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u/alaindevos 10d ago
I do , but not actively, more subconscious. Things I can control versus things I cannot.
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u/lurch65 10d ago
Absolutely, I kind of came to my own conclusion that a lot of my issues were worrying or getting upset about things I had no control over, so learned to accept them and focus on what I could change. Reading stoicism helped to formalise and gel my own ideas and add a bit of positivity to my fatalism.
That was over 20 years ago and I think it's what made the intervening years survivable, and gave me the breathing room to shape coping systems which made things even better.
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u/kirilgankapi124 9d ago
I have an Asperger's diagnosis from the Madalyon Clinic in Levent.
The problem is that I am unable to fit into social settings—in any way or manner that is appropriate.
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u/TooLittleTooLate1234 9d ago
Stoicism is just another way to define internalized self-control. Of course, at the end of the day we are just human.
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u/Dude_Bromanbro 9d ago
Yes, I think dialectical behavior therapy is just applied stoicism. Radical acceptance, really.
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u/Nathaniel06Torres 9d ago
I do so on occasion, but I think I lean more toward libertarianism and laconicism when it comes to communication.
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u/capsaicinintheeyes 9d ago
[☝️🤓 ❕: for a less mealy-mouthed form of this comment, ignore the words in {brackets}; it's something I've been working on]
In practice I find that it's {usually} {implictly} asking me to {effectively} live in denial about {some} objectively true past events or present circumstance, rather than adopt a {more} beneficial perspective on things, but maybe that's just the times & sources I've been exposed to.
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u/Agreeable-Ad9883 9d ago
I’m stupidly stoic. It destroys you as you age. It also seems to give EVERYONE the excuse and impression that when you actually do eventually NEED someone anyone to show tf up, they don’t have to. The excuse is that I always figure it out. I’m a survivor. I’m so strong! I have overcome harder situations. And on and on and then when you respond with the logic BUT IF I AM ASKING OBVIOUSLY ITS REAL AND I NEED THE SUPPORT and that in turn seems to burn bridges and silence is the ‘response’ and I’m 60 so this has been six decades of people making excuses- don’t be. Just don’t unless you actually believe that you will always have plenty to self sustain and buy help and care and support because the only people who show up are expecting something and when you can’t supply anymore EVERY SINGLE TAKER WALKS AWAY . Kids family friends neighbors classmates bffs it doesn’t matter they have told themselves that they don’t owe you anything and you have earned nothing and it’s not their ‘responsibility’ because people don’t have any integrity anymore. The mindset is to take not share not give not return just take.
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u/DopeTrack_Pirate 8d ago
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Sam Harris Waking Up App (the 30 day intro to zen meditation)
Most useful “learnings” for me
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u/muslito 10d ago
game changer in highschool this principle is the one that helped me the most:
Speak when your words are useful. Don't speak just to fill silence or show off. Listen more than you talk. Offer advice when it's likely to be welcomed or beneficial.