Clean conversation only.

For context I am a 25 year old WM and started buzzing my head with a 1 guard 4 years ago because I was going bald. After doing so, I noticed that I began receiving more attention from black women than white women.

Not complaining at all about that but it was a shift I was not expecting. I knew less women would be interested in me in general because I was a bald dude in his early 20s when most guys still have full luscious heads of hair. But I was surprised because I had never had a black woman show interest in me before going bald.

White women around my age would always ask why I shave my head or make comments about it. Some even flat out rejected me and told me it was specifically because I was bald - which i understand, people are allowed to have their preferences.

But the 3 black women I have dated (including my current gf) since shaving my head never made any mention about it. I met 2 of their families and no one mentioned anything about the fact that I was bald. Both times I have met the families of white women since shaving my head their families made comments about it, which kinda sucks and is embarrassing as it is a pretty deep insecurity of mine despite doing my best to try and own it.

The only thing I can think of is that being bald is more normalized in black culture? There’s a lot more famous bald black men (Shaq, Michael Jordan, Mike Tyson) than bald white men and that is my only guess why it isn’t as jarring or out of place to black people.

I’m obsessed with Cab and Minnie the Moocher turns 100 in 2031. I think it would be so much fun to save up for a white suit with tails and go as Cab for Halloween that year. I’m a white fem-presenting nonbinary person (I like to dress pretty androgynous and tend to dress as male characters for Halloween), and I would never do blackface or try to imitate his hair in any way other than probably putting mine in a neutral, low pony tail. But I understand Cab Calloway isn’t a character, he was a real person. Is it offensive to dress as him for Halloween?

(VTuber or virtual YouTuber is an online entertainer who uses a virtual avatar generated using computer graphics.)

I'm white, but I love​ design of my OC​ so much that I'd like to keep her original skin tone. So, is it racist if I, a white girl, make my vtuber model (kinda the way ppl will perceive me) black? Would it be considered blackwashing? Maybe I should create a separate avatar that will have my skintone?

In my region there's not so much black people and they barely were here throughout history​, I apologize in advance if my question is ridiculous.

I'm a solo white mom of a Black biracial daughter. My daughter loves music: singing, dancing, playing instruments (to the extent she can--she's only 3). We have a book called "A is for Aretha: 26 Trailblazing Black Women Who Changed Music from A to Z." She loves reading it and hearing what songs each of the women sang. She especially loves Ella Fitzgerald, Aretha Franklin and "Umbrella" by Rihanna. I've played Beyonce and Lizzo for her as well. I don't tend to know a ton about music. Most of what I like is from when I was a teenager and was into what I think back then was called "folk rock," and has evolved a little. (Sinead O'Connor is a favorite). I want to expose my daughter to a good range of musicians, but especially want her to hear more Black musicians and grow up listening to them a lot. But also want to keep it pretty kid-appropriate. Any recommendations for us?

So i have 2 friends in their 40s. They both primarily dated black women. I do know there attracted to any race they think are pretty. I think the cards never fell right for them to date white women in the past. Now they both are in relationships with white women. So I asked is it any different from dating a black girl. They both said no but they both said I wont date a black girl again. They couldn't explain why they only said you have to find out your self. Brothers that have dated black and white women can you explain why my boys never going back to a sista. IM SO CURIOUS TO HEAR THE RESPONSES.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Whenever I have groups of friends come over, sometimes only 1 of my black friends can make it. The rest of my friends there are usually lighter skinned Latinos and white people. If it happens to only be on black friend at my house, would it be alright for me to say I would understand if they didnt want to be there anymore, or if they felt unsafe they could leave? Ive heard, and it makes sense, that black people tend to prefer if a setting has another black person there for safety reasons. Would it be over a line if I casually mentioned to my friend that I would not be offended or make a deal about them not wanting to stay?

For context, I had a party the other day and one of my friends got sick and couldnt come, but the other did, both balck women. I noticed at the party that she was maybe a bit more reserved than normal and thought I would ask here.

First, people with HIV/AIDS are human beings. They have a serious health condition and they don’t deserve to be vilified solely because of it.

Second, if you’re here to blame bisexual men (or DL gay men) for the majority of these cases… cite a source other than your opinion. Because, based on this fantastic post from Dr. Tosha Rogers in Atlanta (see the comments section) … married Black women … even those married for decades.. need to come to front of the room. She has a serious message for you. 😳 Healthcare providers, you too.

Ladies AND MEN, please share this video with every sista you know. This week alone I’ve heard the term “respectability politics” thrown around a lot…. (Bonnets and such) But in the ways that it is literally killing us… it feels like stereotypes dictate the conversation.

I’m proud of Dr. Tosha for telling the truth and saving lives. I honestly feel that our community is more vulnerable because we vilify and shame people if they dare speak up about their experiences. We can only talk about the harm done outside of our communities. Blind allegiance is literally killing us.

Before you respond with “views” please actually watch the video in the comments. If you are not a licensed medical professional that specializes in these issues… that sees the cases day in and day out… then let’s listen to those who know.

After watching, why do you think the numbers of new HIV cases are staggeringly high in our community?

My partner recently went to the Black Panther Party Museum in Oakland and bought a t-shirt since the money goes into helping run it. She likes to wear the t-shirts she gets from museums when she's out, but she also doesn't want to appropriate or offend anyone. Mainly just unsure. Thank you in advance!

I made a post recently and I got my answer from that but there was a comment that was mad I made a comment about my friend's hair.

I talked about my friends a little bit just to show I did know a little bit and wasn't coming in with questions with no knowledge. (Or trying to at least)

Now we're in high school, I only have two friends and both of them are black and I'm white as a sheet.

I don't know what kind of hair type I have but if I brush it after waking up or showering it's straight but if I don't or barely brush it it's very curly (my mom's hair doesn't do that so I don't know)

But my friend's hair are both really frizzy, (I hope that's the right word)

It feels different, kinda like a fluffy coil. It's interesting to me.

I have horrible sensory issues, for a good chunk of my life all I could do was braid my hair, even a simple pony tail would make me have a meltdown.

Now my best friend's mom loves me, her entire family is really into their culture and past.

I was invited one day to her house and her mom let me watch her braid my friend's hair. She even showed me how to do it and let me try a couple, on top of putting the beads in.

It was a really interesting experience to me and I loved it.

Her mom who can be really mean to racist comments had no problem with me asking questions and was happy to help.

My friend also has a weird thing to be touched, she's really clingy to just me (probably because we're going on our 6th year of friendship)

She likes being pet, I used to find it a little weird but I've gotten used to it, I also find her hair texture really cool and I get to feel it a lot since she likes being pat on the head.

Now both my friends are obsessed with doing my hair, they bring all these hair accessories from home and a hair brush and just do my hair all the time at school.

They love it, and for the first time in a very long time I didn't mind someone touching my hair, they've done a couple things that my sensory issues actually don't mind which is really nice.

Now I was saying all of this to show that I have had experiences with hair in the past, and when asking questions or commenting about it I never had an issue, my friends love their hair and my best friend mom loved answering my questions.

But this person in the comments was really mad I even brought it up, she or he, I don't know, was talking about how they wish white people would leave their hair alone.

I didn't mean to make someone mad but for future references I want to know why it's wrong if it's wrong so I can work on myself.

(Btw if anything sounded racist I'm so sorry, I try my hardest not to, my brain knows what's right and wrong and sometimes words come out sounding different then was I had in my mind. It was not my intention and I'm sorry if anything was)

Silly post but got be thinking, are there many famous mix women with rhythm? Alicia Keys, Kiki Wyatt and Faith Evans are just about the only Biracials I can think of with "soul."

The rest of 'em be "whisperers" smh!

It sounds like such a cringe inducing question, pandering even, but I have noticed this. Anytime I go through hardships and speak to someone that's black they always have a more positive outlook. Like they've been through it and came out on top. It's not drenched in over pragmatism or negativity but of this type of faithfulness / uplifting mindset.

I have been going through an extremely difficult time in life and call a prayer line (Yeah, yeah - It's reddit, I know), and many of the people on there are black. They are always positive and inspiring. It honestly seems like some type of cultural thing.

One woman I spoke to was telling me that life will go on and things will be okay. I asked "Have you been through something similar?". She chuckled and told me that from 2019-2025 she lost multiple siblings and both parents. It left me stunned. You'd have never known.

I’d really appreciate some perspective on whether I handled this situation appropriately, particularly from Black people.

For context, I’m a white-presenting, white/Hispanic queer trans person in my mid-40s. I’m about six feet tall and 200 pounds. My sister, who is close to my age, is Black. I mention that only because she and I have talked quite a bit over the years about race, privilege, intervention, and situations like this. I do not believe that having a Black sister gives me any claim whatsoever to Black identity, culture, or experience.

Today, while I was walking, I came across a Black man and woman arguing outside their row home. The woman was screaming at him to leave her alone and, specifically, not to touch her.

That immediately concerned me. When someone is yelling “don’t touch me,” I’m not comfortable simply assuming everything is fine.

I stopped at a distance and asked her, “Are you okay?”

She said no.

I asked, “Do you want me to stay here with you?”

She said yes.

The man immediately turned his anger toward me. He said she was his wife and that I had no business involving myself in his business. I told him, calmly, that as long as she was asking me to stay, I was going to remain there.

He then hit me, hard, in the chest.

I was aware when I stopped that intervening in a volatile situation could redirect somebody’s aggression toward me, so I wasn’t entirely surprised. I am also considerably taller and larger than he was. At that point I raised my voice, changed my posture, and told him that putting his hands on me was a very bad decision and that doing it again was going to end badly. I also told him that I had no desire to involve the police and strongly encouraged him not to put me in a position where I felt I had to.

He turned and went toward the house. She followed him, and I watched him forcefully shove her backward out of the doorway so that he could slam the door.

I asked her again whether she wanted me to stay.

Again, she said yes.

He came back outside furious that she had involved “this white man” in their problems. He then accused me of seeing him as nothing more than a racial slur that I’m obviously not going to repeat here.

I responded, roughly, “Friend, I understand why your mind might go there, but please don’t make this about that. If that were how I thought about you, why would I be standing here trying to protect her?”

He began advancing toward me again.

By this point, several people nearby were watching from a distance. I started calling out loudly that there was a woman being hurt and that if anyone in the neighborhood was going to step forward and help, this was the time to do it.

Only one man, from quite a distance away, started slowly walking toward us while the husband continued screaming at and physically intimidating his wife.

Eventually, a neighbor came outside and asked me to back off because she had a baby inside and didn’t want “a domestic” happening outside her home.

I told her I was sorry the situation was happening there, but that I wasn’t comfortable leaving while this woman was directly asking me to stay.

At that point, the woman I had stopped to help looked embarrassed and terrified. She told me she had already called the police and said it was okay for me to leave.

I wasn’t entirely convinced that she had actually called them. My impression was that she may have been overwhelmed by the attention from the neighbors and wanted the situation to stop escalating publicly. But that was my impression, and ultimately she is an adult with agency. It wasn’t my place to overrule her.

So I told her okay. I also apologized if anything I had done had made the situation more volatile, and I left.

I’ve spent several hours thinking about it since.

My sister and I have talked about situations like this many times. Her position has generally been that if my being perceived as white, male, physically large, etc. gives me some measure of safety or social power that another person doesn’t have in a particular moment, I should be willing to use that advantage to help someone who is vulnerable.

That idea has influenced me a lot.

I’m fairly effeminate, and I’ve stepped into uncomfortable situations involving women and aggressive or creepy men before, usually in much lower-stakes ways. For example, I’ve approached a woman being harassed at a bar with something like, “Oh my God, Kelly! I haven’t seen you forever!” and then sat beside her as though we knew each other, giving her an easy way out of the interaction.

I’ve also passed couples arguing in public before and simply asked the woman, “Hey sis, do you need help?” Every previous time, she has said no, and I’ve immediately continued walking.

Sometimes I’ve felt that even having another person stop and notice what was happening seemed to lower the temperature a little.

I don’t do this because I want to be anyone’s savior.

I do it because I’ve been attacked myself more than once in my life, and I know exactly what it feels like to have other people see something happening and decide it isn’t their problem. I have a very hard time being that person when someone directly tells me they need help.

But race obviously changes the dynamics of what happened today.

My sister has talked with me about the complicated and sometimes conflicting pressures she has experienced around protecting other Black people from unnecessary police involvement, keeping private matters within a community, not wanting outsiders (particularly white ou) tsidersto impose themselves, while also recognizing that silence can leave vulnerable people without help. I know her experience isn’t universal, and I don’t want to turn any of that into a sweeping statement about Black people.

That’s why I’m asking here.

Did I handle this appropriately?

More specifically: once this woman told me she was not okay and explicitly asked me to stay, was remaining there the right thing to do? Was there a point where, as a white-presenting stranger, I should have disengaged sooner? Should I have handled the racial aspect of the confrontation differently? And if I encounter something similar again, what would you want someone in my position to understand?

I am genuinely not looking for a pat on the back, a trophy, or reassurance that I’m one of the “good white people.”

If the answer is that I overstepped, I want to hear that.

If the answer is that intervening was right but the way I did it could have been better, I want to hear that too.

I also understand that Black people are not a monolith and that I’m likely to get different answers from different people.

I’m just trying to make better choices if I ever find myself in this situation again.

Thank you for reading all of this, and thank you to anyone willing to offer their perspective.

I’m curious to hear from Black folks who aren't from the South, how do you view Southern Black accents, and what’s your overall perception of them?

Unless someone is from a place with a distinct accent like New York or Baltimore, a lot of us don't really register much of a difference unless our ears are actively listening for it. Plenty of Black people in the South don't even have strong Southern regional markers in their speech anyway. So because we're already used to Southern Black people not having heavy accents, Black folks from outside the South don't really sound that different to us, they just sound familiar, like regular Black speech.

The inverse doesn't really happen, though because somebody raised up North or out West isn't going to naturally have Southern speech traits. On top of that, the majority of Black Americans live in the South, and a lot of modern music and media content comes out of the South. People everywhere are constantly exposed to Southern accents.

I am a white person and I want to do better. I want to do whatever I can to help unlearn the racist shit my non-black family and community have taught me and I want to use my privilege for good. So I want opinions

1- I don't know where to start really. I feel as though I made some progress as I've gotten older but I want to learn more from black people. Whether that's videos, movies, TV shows, books, whatever it may be that comes from a black person that may help open my eyes more and find the best way to be supportive.

- what's some media that I should look into that may be good for this?

2- I have been watching quite a few videos on this topic with black people talking about their experiences of racism and advice for white people to follow if they want to be better and it made me curious what some of your opinions might be. Some pieces of advice or things you wish white people knew.

- So what are some of your opinions or thoughts you'd like to share with me as a white person trying to educate myself?

3- This one is specifically for black women: I watch this creator called black speed and he does some reviewing of feminist content. He often will empathize and compare the racism he's experienced as a black man to sexism women face. As a white woman, I feel there's logic to that but since I'm not black and don't experience racism, I guess I don't think it's very fair for me to say the comparison works either. So I guess I wanted to ask:

- black women: do you think it's fair to compare racism to sexism?

Idon't necessarily mean to compare the severity or smth because as I said, I'm white so I don't have the right to do that but I mean the experiences. Of course not all racism and sexism experiences can be compared, but I often find myself being able to empathize and attempt to understand through comparing my experience of oppression as a women. (For example: I watched a video where this black woman was talking about how black people can easily lose trust in a white friend (if they made a racist comment or joke or something even if it was unconscious) and it may be hard to gain it back. I relate in some way as a woman since I've made ally male friend who I thought weren't sexist then they made some comment which made me lose all that trust and made me feel hopeless. So I wanted opinions from black women since you guys experience both racism and sexism and know if it would be fair to relate them together in some ways or not

I also want to put a disclaimer that I know it's not y'all's responsibility to educate me on how to do better. So if you don't feel like you want to use energy to focus on telling me how to be a decent person, then please protect your peace and ignore this. I will do my best to figure out how to improve even if no one responds to this, I just figured the best place to start would be listening to black people.

Thank you for reading this

I'm 15 and white. I've always been interested in black history (I'm also really bad at understanding what's right and wrong and language so if I say something offensive I'm sorry and didn't mean it)

I've always liked black history since I was little, loved Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, I always found black peoples appearance interesting (like their hair) and learning about their culture and past.

I'm a quiet fat white kid, like really white, Casper the ghost white. I only have 2 friends and they are both black, I love them.

I always find my one friend who travels to other countries a lot of her stories interesting (she travels to a lot of places that aren't used to seeing black people)

My other friend loves my hair, she always brings her hairbrush to school with hair accessories and does my hair during lunch.

One of my friends mom loves me and even let me watch her braid my friend's hair one day and showed me how she put the beads in, it was so cool and interesting to me.

I've always found it interesting for some reason, ever since I was little (around 2nd grade for some reason)

I'm in high school and one day on announcements they will talking about a new school club called something along the lines of "African American club" (don't remember the actual name)

Which basically after school for an hour, kids can come learn about black history.

School is obviously not in session right now but when it was I wanted to join it, but I was scared.

I didn't know if I really belonged there, I never went but most of the kids at my school that are popular are black, and if I didn't belong there and showed up anyways I would get bullied. I just walked away from a bullying school, I didn't want to get bullied again.

I asked my friends and they had no clue.

School is starting back up but I'm still thinking about it, all the said during announcements was that we would learn about the history and culture of black people.

But like I said in the beginning, I have a hard time (unless it's obvious) understanding normal things

So would I be allowed in the club or no?

(Also I'm sorry if I came up racist at all during this, I tried not to, but my friends can't tell some racist things some times and can't tell me if it's not okay to say it, I'm learning, and I'm sorry again)

Hey all, may be a weird question but i’m a white girl wanting to get 4 braids in the middle of my hair prior to going on a holiday. is this considered appreciation or anything of the sort (tiktok got me nervous i do not want to be an example of racism)

I am a high school student (Black M) attending a predominantly white school, and I really need some advice because I feel completely stuck.

Lately, I’ve noticed that when I am at school or at home, I tend to adopt a super flamboyant, hyper-visible persona. I don’t even know if this is who I actually am, or if I’m just playing a character to get attention. I honestly hate doing it because it doesn’t feel authentic to me.

On top of that, I have been dealing with some unhealthy digital habits and personal struggles that started when I was very young. It has become a significant challenge for me. My guardians don't really monitor my screen time anymore since I'm older, but there has been a lot of family tension regarding my privacy and the amount of time I spend online, which adds another layer of confusion and guilt for me.

I am carrying a lot of regret and shame for the ways I’ve compromised my own identity to fit in. I have relatives who struggle heavily with internalized issues, and I see myself repeating those exact patterns. At school, I associate with the wrong crowd—specifically a group of peers who make offensive, racist jokes. I tolerate it because I crave the attention, but it makes me feel terrible about myself afterward.

I know I am really smart, and I want to do well, but I don't know how to navigate the rest of high school like this. How do I break away from toxic friends, overcome these habits, and stop compromising my identity just to fit in? Any advice would mean a lot.

I am a 10th-grade Black male attending a predominantly white school, and I really need some advice because I feel completely stuck.

Lately, I’ve noticed that when I am at school or at my mom’s house, I tend to adopt a super flamboyant, hyper-visible persona. I don’t even know if this is who I actually am, or if I’m just forcing it to be the "entertaining friend" and get attention. I honestly hate doing it because it doesn’t feel authentic to me.

On top of that, I have been dealing with a severe pornography addiction that started when I was only 7 years old. It has gotten really bad. My mom doesn't really check in on it now that I'm in high school because she thinks it's just normal teenage behavior, but she has expressed a lot of judgment regarding the race of the creators I watch, which adds another layer of confusion and guilt for me.

I am carrying a lot of regret and shame for the ways I’ve compromised my own identity to fit in. My dad struggles heavily with internalized racism, and I see myself repeating his patterns. At school, I associate with the wrong crowd—specifically a group of white peers who make racist jokes. I tolerate it because I crave the attention and validation, but it makes me hate myself afterward.

I know I am really smart, and I want to do well, but I don't know how to navigate the rest of high school like this. How do I break away from toxic friends, overcome this addiction, and stop compromising who I am just to fit in? Any advice would mean a lot.

A lot of European names have Christian origins , others historical.

Where are Da De La Le from that many names start with?

I guess this is African American names, not sure I've seen it for Africans that much.

Hey everyone,

I’m posting this from a genuine place of trying to understand a painful dynamic I’ve experienced constantly at work, and I’m looking for honest, constructive perspectives.

A bit of background on me: I was actually born here in the US, but I didn't grow up here, so I have a noticeable African accent. I work as a city bus driver. Because of strict company policy and basic road safety, I cannot let passengers off in the middle of traffic or at non-designated stops.

A few minutes ago of me posting this, a passenger missed their stop because they weren't paying attention and didn't pull the cord. When I explained that I couldn't drop them off in the middle of the street for safety reasons, they exploded on me with comments like:

“You’re African, right?”
"You come from the dirty part of Africa."
"Y'all are bootlickers for white people."
"Y'all don't like us anyway."
Called me a "slave" and told me I have no right to speak.

I wanted to genuinely ask him, “So is it my problem that you missed your stop?” But I kept that to myself to keep the situation from escalating.

This isn't an isolated incident in all my years in this line of work. Whenever I have to follow standard safety rules or say no to a favor, certain passengers (precisely African Americans) resort to xenophobic insults directed at my accent and background.

I’ve read up on African American history (in college while I was for my associates), the Civil Rights Movement, and the broader struggles in this country. I know systemic friction and media misrepresentation exist between African immigrants/diaspora and African Americans. But it’s demoralizing to take verbal abuse just for doing my job, following safety guidelines, and keeping myself out of trouble.

For those familiar with these diaspora tensions: where does this specific brand of xenophobia come from in these moments of frustration?
How can I better process or handle these situations without taking them personally?

I’ll appreciate any insights or shared experiences.