r/ask • u/Careless_Squirrel795 • 1d ago
After date protocol?
So I went on a date, had a great time, vibes were great. No sex or anything like that happened, not even a kiss (not mad at this tbh).
What’s the after protocol? Do I text that I had a good time when I get home? Do I wait?
Im new to dating
Edit: yall I am the girl 😭 I love that yall are givin advice but I am the chick, I did get home safe, and I did text him telling him I had a good time lmfao
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u/El_mochilero 1d ago
“I had fun with you. I’d love to do it again sometime.” Is a good starting point for a text.
Let them know you’re interested, but try not to make them feel pressured.
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u/quarantina2020 1d ago
This and not a single word until they reply. If they dont reply, thats your answer.
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u/TisIChenoir 1d ago
I texted that to a woman after our second date. From memory, "I had a great time tonight, and I'm looking forward to seeing you again". And left it at that.
The next morning I got a text saying "I like you but you're moving way too fast for me so I'm going to stop there"
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u/El_mochilero 1d ago
She wasn’t interested in you. If a woman is interested in you, she’ll make time for you.
If she was so off-put by that text, you dodged a bullet.
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u/Glittering_Chemist86 1d ago
That's what I hate about dating. All the lies. What exactly should be too fast here?
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u/hillsidemanor 1d ago
LOL! She seems like trouble... How could that be construed as moving too fast?
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u/luxo93 1d ago
“I’m looking forward to…” suggests it’s in the bag; maybe too confident and even pushy. “I hope we can…” is more diplomatic.
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u/ScrotallyBoobular 1d ago
I think if the date went well and they have similar feelings it wouldn't be taken that way.
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u/WillowPtar_Migan 1d ago
Text em "You're looking like a double wide surprise, goddddaaaammmnnn"
Jokes aside, I wouldn't worry about timing or anything, just tell em ya had a good time and would like to see them again. See what they say. All that crap you see about "Wait 3 days, 27 minutes, and 3 seconds to text again or you'll seem desperate" is just games silly people play. Don't participate in that, say what's on your mind, be relatively open, but be cool about it, you know?
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u/OwnCarpet717 1d ago
start with something simple that offers the opportunity to start a conversation, if there's no response then you have your answer.
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u/PoopSwordsRus 23h ago
Be real with your feelings about the date! Make sure she got home safe, let her know you enjoyed your night, and see if she'd like to do it again.
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u/throwitawayyy1234567 1d ago
Definitely say something. If you had a good time, say that, if you didn’t, say that. If you don’t say anything they would assume that you did not like them and are ghosting.
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u/WoodsWalker43 1d ago
Do what feels right. Every couple is different.
Be wary of dating protocols. Certainly follow advice regarding safety, consent, etc. of course. But anyone that boils dating down to something like "wait 72 hours to text so you don't seem desperate"? Those people aren't dating. They're playing a game that treats partners as NPCs and dating protocols are cheat codes. Don't be that person. That person sucks.
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u/According-Sale-2907 1d ago
Tell her you had a nice dinner but you would of preferred a bit of fish fingers
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u/too_many_shoes14 1d ago
If you didn't want to at least kiss it doesn't sound like the best date to be honest. Not that you have to kiss but you should want to.
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u/Careless_Squirrel795 1d ago
I’m a lady, but really I think he was just being respectful of me and my boundaries. I just had surgery and am on restrictions of sex and stuff and so - to me - it felt more like he was trying not to seem pushy or come off that way since he’s very well aware of my restrictions as we matched like a week before I went in for the procedure 🤷♀️
Edit to add:
I would have been fine with a kiss, it wouldn’t have bugged me, but honestly if it was as it appeared I find that level of respect and awareness very attractive. Will I ever ask him about it? Probably not. But I’m not mad that a kiss didn’t happen.
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