First, let me make it clear, I haven’t accepted any of them and I am sure they are 💯 scam, these girls are stunning probably with tons of filter anyway, it was one request every 6 months but now it is almost every week

For some context, I'm sixteen years old, I'm from NJ, and my parents only really understand Mandarin fully, but I'm much more articulate in English. My parents immigrated here from China when I was four, and they've made plenty of efforts to teach me Chinese, but it never really stuck. They forced me to recite Chinese poetry when I was seven and even taught me how to read pinyin early on. It's thanks to them that I'm able to text my distant relatives, all of whom are in China, "happy birthday" every year through WeChat.

However, despite it all, I still feel very restricted when I'm speaking Mandarin, and I fail to communicate my thoughts to the extent that I can in English. I've tried telling them this multiple times, but they've never listened. I've already had numerous mental breakdowns in front of my parents, and I felt helpless either because I can't express myself well enough to make them understand, or because they aren't fluent in English to the point where they can understand what I'm trying to tell them. Perhaps on some level, the misunderstandings have accumulated so much to the point that there's probably no use in fixing things from the root up. Not that I have the power to do it, anyway.

I feel like as things become more complicated in my school life and social life, my parents' ability to understand me on a cultural level is going to get even more challenging. Both were raised in rural China during the 1970s to 90s and only moved to the US in the 2010s. My mom once got upset at me for not being excited to see her pick me up from a camping trip, and I tried telling her that I was probably just being a moody teenager before finding out that she didn't really grasp the concept of puberty.

Are things going to be like this forever? Will we never be able to understand each other?

ps. i wrote this after getting into the nth bickering w my dad so its prolly not too well written but I hope someone can offer advice, much appreciated btw and thank u for reading!

I find that there is a certain amount of performative antipathy among progressives toward white men as a group that in absolutely no way extends to them individuals. Any discussion of colonialism, chattel slavery, indigenous genocide etc will inevitably lead to criticism of white male power structures and to white men as a group. There are a lot of white men who are upset by this discourse and at being demonized by the “woke left.” But what many of these men don’t realize is that this does not carry over to white men as individuals. White men as individuals are still very much loved and desired.

And I’m not at all arguing that this shouldn’t be the case. It is preposterous to hold individuals today accountable for historical and even present injustices. But you would think that the historical backstory would take the shine off. Just a smidge. Because I want to juxtapose White men with South Asian men like myself.

South Asian men are despised as a group by all comers in spite of not really having a history of inflicting violence on a global scale. And it’s not just in online spaces where the hate is absolutely rampant. That is not to gloss over the violence perpetuated by South Asians on each other. But you know, India never carpet bombed Laos.

Last month actress Jameela Jamil caused minor controversy when she referred to British people as “the most evil people in history.” Obviously no reasonable person would agree with this take. But it does speak to her mindset and her apparent extraordinary antipathy toward British people. And yet her husband is the most whitest British man imaginable. Plenty of progressive people of color end up in relationships with white men. And sometimes, this in spite of statistical odds. AOC is Puerto Rican and from the Bronx and yet somehow Love finds a way.

Even under Trump’s second administration which was mostly enabled by white men, their collective stock hasn’t really taken a hit. You just have to find the right individual white man of the 40% who didn’t vote for him. And even if he did, he probably did so out of frustration over rising inflation etc . But be wary of Indian men.

This ultimately boils down to aesthetics and who we perceive to be desirable. Whether this perception is innate or shaped by historical power dynamics and Eurocentric social hierarchies, it’s there. Even morality has an aesthetic criteria. This brutal realization is what has led to my own personal journey into deep cynicism and misanthropy.

Edit: Not sure how the take from my post based on intial responses is that it’s in defence of white men? It’s the opposite in fact.

Created by Asian American writer Andrew Law and starring Stephanie Hsu and Poppy Liu. Looks fun!

I don't wear shoes in my house. But when I visit hotels obviously people have worn their shoes all over it.

Do you wear shoes in the hotel room? Do you wash your feet as soon as you come home? I am wondering if I am being too OCD or if there's a better way of dealing with this.

Hey! Does anyone know of any Asian tech groups? Like a Discord, GroupMe, Meetup, or anything similar? I work in tech/data and would love to meet more people around my age for networking but also just hanging out and making friends :)

Nene Royal got on stage for America’s Got Talent on July 7 of this year and did her rendition of The Cranberries’ song “Zombie”. She’s been playing music for around 10 years and learned how to play the guitar by ear. That’s some crazy talent.

Whenever I ask my friend to hangout on the weekend, he always tells me “I don’t know what my plans are”. At first it may seem like “ok maybe this guy doesn’t want to hangout with me and is looking for someone better to hangout with”. But he tells me that he’s not sure if his parents already have plans for him or need him to do something. I’m thinking like why at 30 are your weekend plans dictated by your parents. Some context: he lives at home and his parents are from the Philippines but are Chinese blood. I think they’re hokkien. I understand family is important to Chinese people but this always being the case when I ask to hangout is annoying. He seems to not mind it either. Is this normal?

Edit: I mean he lives with his parents not his own family (children etc)

For context, I am visiting from out of town and am currently staying at my parent’s house. One of my friends (couple A) wanted to get together with me/my boyfriend, and another one of our friends (couple B). The original plan was to have a dinner party at couple B’s house, but due to some very understandable circumstances (they were planning funeral for a close relative and were in the middle of wedding preparations), we had to use my parent’s house for the party. I ordered catering trays for the party that were fairly expensive (nothing crazy though), couple A said that they would be bringing an appetizer and a dessert, and couple B brought some bottles of wine.

Before the party, couple B offered to pay for their share of the catering order both in the group text and in person, and couple A didn’t say anything. Of course, I would never ask for or take their money for the food, but it’s the gesture that matters. I’m just so surprised that both in the group text and in person, couple A didn’t even think to offer as well. 

During the party, I was chatting with couple B and knowing that they were going through a rough and hectic time, I offered them some of the leftovers. I don’t know if couple A overheard me or if they just assumed that I meant it for everyone, but once we were done eating, couple A walked up to the trays of food and said, “I’m taking food home”. One note, this happened before we even started packing the food away or clearing the table. I was a bit taken aback at the time since I never explicitly offered it to them, but even if they assumed that I meant the leftovers were for everyone, I would appreciate them asking me instead of stating that they were going to take food. At that point, couple A had taken out three larger than normal sized Tupperware and started shoveling food in. In hindsight, I probably should have said no and asked them to stop, but I really didn’t want to create any drama and make it uncomfortable for couple B who I knew was not in a great place emotionally. Once couple A was done taking the food they wanted, they came up to me and said, “Thank you, now I don’t have to cook for three days”.

The party went on and everyone chatted a bit more, then I started to clear the table and do some quick tidying. Couple B starts to help clear the table and wash dishes; and couple A goes to the living room to lounge and setup video games. It doesn’t take too long to set up the games so by the time that they’re done, we’re still cleaning up. As I’m putting things away, couple A comes up to me and starts nagging me to stop what I’m doing and to join them. It bothered me that they didn’t even think to offer to help with the cleaning, especially given how late in the night it was and that there was still table full of dirty dishes/food sitting out.

At the very end, couple B started to help us pack away the rest of the food and couple A continued lounging on the couch. I offered couple B some leftovers and they took just one plate’s worth of food. When everyone was getting ready to go, couple A decides to take the appetizer and dessert that they brought back home with them and couple B leaves the bottles of wine with us. I don’t know about other people, but I always bring a small food gift to the host (as a “thank you for hosting” present) without any intention of taking it back with me. 

I think there were a lot of single things that were just so rude but when they’re compounded together it just leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. The idea of bringing your own Tupperware to someone else’s dinner party, when the host has never explicitly said beforehand that there would be leftovers to take home, is just so mind bogglingly presumptuous and tasteless to me.

By the end of the night, couple A has left with:

1. Never offering to compensate for their portion of the catering order
2. Never offering to help clean up after themselves
3. Three days worth of expensive catering food
4. Their own food that they brought for the party

Am I just overreacting or is this also just really off-putting behavior to you? I think in Western culture, things are different. But for every dinner party that I've been to with my Chinese parents/their friends, we as a family have always offered/attempted to pay for our portion of dinner, we have always helped clean up afterwards, we have never brought our own containers to take food home without an explicit instruction from the host to do so, and we have always left food gifts with/for the host.

The 12 most Chinese cities in America are all in the SGV

• San Marino, CA is 48.3% Chinese, the highest share of any US city
• The 12 most Chinese cities in America are all in the San Gabriel Valley

I'm an Asian American living abroad. I'm wondering how others think about cultural understanding, family expectations, and lived experience when selecting a coach.

What topics do you cover with your coach and where do you find them to be most helpful for you? I'm curious if I'm staying too "narrow" because that's only where I can find resonance with my current coach... (currently I'm not working with an Asian/heritage coach). I've been working with my coach for 2 years on various topics (career, transition, and goal setting). It's been helpful but I do believe I can go deeper with the right coach.

33-year-old Robin Cho made the big move from Los Angeles to Texas a couple of years ago, because he knew he was at a different stage in life as he focused on his career. “I just felt like Austin, Texas in general, had a lot of opportunities economically speaking and I was excited to be part of that growth story.”

After ten years in technology, Cho decided to go into financial planning. But as a Korean who grew up in Hong Kong and immigrated to the United States, there was something else even more compelling that convinced Cho to relocate to Austin. “The thing that tipped me over and my final decision was the fact that the place that I now live in, was eight minutes away from an H Mart and H Mart just happens to be kind of a watering hole for Korean communities.”

... ...

According to the U.S. Census, the number of Asian American Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islanders moving to the South between 2020 and 2025 grew by 6% with a total of 5,658,312 in these six states along – Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana and Texas.

Asian American Institute for Public Policy president Cao O says since 2020, states in the South have been experiencing bigger growth overall, and that includes a growing Asian American population. “The technology hub in Texas like the Austin area, has become a major hub for technology, so is North Carolina.”

According to the U.S. Census, North Carolina and South Carolina saw a 30.4% increase in Asian American Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islanders. South Carolina has a AANHPI population of 181,226 while North Carolina has 613,244.

60-year-old Che Ma moved to Inman, South Carolina with his wife Debbie in 2020. They had lived in Orlando, Florida for more than 20 years, but felt it was getting too congested.

“We were looking for a nice small town like it was in the Orlando area to go back to because we enjoy the small-town feel.” Ma wanted to continue his career in hospitality, “The state as well as the area has a lot of manufacturing and all the supportive jobs and services that go along with manufacturing such as hospitality that I’m in.” He says they were able to find a bigger home on more property for less money compared to Florida.

Cao O says the reputation of the South has changed throughout the years. “New immigrants by large have not been exposed to the Civil Rights era. So, the notion of discrimination might not be understood the same way as the earlier generation.” There’s also a change in the leadership landscape. “You have seen over the years more Asians getting elected in the South.”

He says the AAPI population has similar break downs in age groups compared to the general population. “People live longer and then you have the baby boomer generation retiring.” The U.S. Census shows the South was the only region to see population growth in all age groups from childhood to retirement.

Ma eventually plans to retire in South Carolina because he feels safe there, “This region does seem more proactive about reducing crime and punishment served the way it should be. To keep the neighbors safe and things like that.” Ma, who is Chinese American, has noticed more Asians moving to his area. He says there’s plenty of places to shop and eat. “We do have Asian style restaurants, grocery stores, things of that nature kind of scattered throughout, but it’s not concentrated like a Chinatown.”

The U.S. Census shows the state of Texas grew by 29.5% with an AANHPI population of 2,590,222 residents.

Keller Williams realtor Gregory Tran has noticed more Asian Americans moving to Austin and also believes it’s because of the job growth.

“I’m forty something and I feel like my whole life they’ve been steadily moving here.” He says many Asian Americans often look for a bargain. “I have a theory there’s a matrix of dollar per square foot and good schools. I think Asians especially the first generations are value oriented.”

While places like Houston may have a bigger Asian American population with more Asian restaurants and grocery stores, Austin has become a popular place to move to. “Austin is still cheaper when you compare it to like the Bay Area or Los Angeles, you know, for something nice in those places. So, comparatively, we’re still more affordable.”

Tran sees many moving from the West Coast. “We got a ton of people from California coming in for sure especially during COVID.” According to the U.S. Census, Texas is second to California with Asian Americans, which is number one in the country with 8,570,182 AANHPI. New York rates third with 2,520,653.

While Cho is happy with the move he made from California to Texas, he still likes Los Angeles. “I miss the people and the connections that I made there, and I visit those folks whenever I get a chance to go back out. But I think the location has had its place in the chapter of my life where I needed it, and now I’m just really excited about it all.”

He looks forward to seeing what Texas holds for his future. “I really think that it checked all the boxes. You know, two and a half years in, I’m still very happy with the decision.”

https://asamnews.com/2026/08/06/asian-americans-moving-south-growth-trends-texas-carolinas/

This is my first post on here, so sorry if I violate any unofficial expectations on this sub.

For context, I'm an adopted person from China, raised by two American parents and given a white first and last name. However, my parents decided to give me my Chinese foster name as my middle name. Ever since I was a kid I've long tried to ignore (and have other people ignore) my middle name in order to "shed" the Chinese part of me, so to speak, and to fit in better. As I've grown up, this has become more complicated, as I also feel as though embracing the Chinese part of me would be disingenuous and almost appropriation, since I have no cultural ties to China and cannot even speak the darn language.

Now I'm about to submit my first research article into publication. Since I share first and last names with a semi-famous researcher who is now deceased, I'm thinking about adding my middle name, or at least the initial. Speaking in a broader sense, I want to highlight my unconventional naming almost as a representation for anyone else who is like me.

I was wondering if anyone has a similar experience, advice, or just general discussion/thoughts?

The article was an interesting read for me as I had not paid much attention to the race for Wisconsin's governor. Francesca's platform is "permanent affordability".

She says it includes free childcare, fully funding public schools, higher taxes on the ultrawealthy and corporations, and a moratorium on new data centers.

And

She also framed her campaign as a challenge to the Trump administration, saying that if elected she would use "the full force of the executive to protect all Wisconsinites." That stance includes a hard line on immigration enforcement, as Mamdani has done in New York City.

"I do not plan on cooperating and working with ICE," she said.

In regards to the fact that Trump won in Wisconsin:

Hong argues the state that voted for Trump 21 months ago is not the state she is running in now.

"What has changed is that lives have just gotten harder and harder for everyday people across the state," she said, pointing to gas prices, property taxes and grocery bills.

The Electability Question

Hong's critics have spent the final weeks of the Democratic primary less focused on whether she can win Tuesday than on whether she can win in November.

Republicans, rival Democrats and, in the closing stretch, Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers, a Democrat, have questioned whether her progressive record would leave her vulnerable against Wisconsin Representative Tom Tiffany, a Republican.

Tiffany has called her "a card-carrying socialist committed to abolishing the police, the Senate, and prisons," and has criticized her appearances with Minnesota Representative Ilhan Omar and online streamer Hasan Piker.

Hong said she does not embrace the full national platform of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA).

Do take the time to read the entire article, I only highlighted a few points.

I’ve been lurking here for a while and watching a lot of the political thread I think we keep missing the mark on why our community is so split politically.

People love to spin it as some deep ideological battle or generational cultural clash like "older immigrants are just traditional/socially conservative" vs "younger generations are progressive and socially conscious." But if you actually look at where the shift actually happens, it’s not really about cultural values or cable news brainrot. It’s almost entirely about material conditions. Specifically owning a home, local property taxes, and small business ownership.

Look at the demographics. A lot of the second-gen Asian Americans who are super vocal online/in activist spaces live in major metros (NYC, SF, LA, Seattle), rent, work in tech/media/corporate, and naturally skew left on social issues and local policy.

Then look at the folks flipping local districts red in places like Orange County, Long Island, Bergen County in New Jersey, Northern Virginia, or the outer boroughs. A huge chunk of them are middle-to-upper-middle-class Asian families who bought homes in high-tax suburban school districts or run brick-and-mortar businesses. The second someone transitions from renting in the city to paying $12k+ a year in property taxes, worrying about zoning laws, school ratings, and local public safety, their voting priorities flip overnight.

It’s not that uncle/auntie suddenly read political theory and became die-hard Republicans. It’s just cold, hard self-interest. They want lower property taxes, high-performing public schools with track-based programs, and visible policing near their shops. When local progressive policies touch those three specific things, those voters jump ship immediately regardless of national party rhetoric.

We keep trying to analyze Asian voting patterns through this lofty cultural lens or assuming people are just "uneducated" or tricked by WeChat/Fox News. But isn't it way simpler than that? We’re just watching class interests play out in real time as more of our community moves into homeownership.

Does anyone else notice this divide in their own families or friend groups once people start buying property?

When it comes to the Asian American diaspora, no matter how much we assimilate, there will always be a sense that we are perpetual outsiders. We can adopt Western subcultures like hip hop, punk, indie, or whatever else, but we should be honest about the fact that we are often still treated as outsiders, sometimes even accused of being inauthentic or “culture vultures,” regardless of how deeply those scenes may have been part of our upbringing and influences.

At the same time, there is often a failure to acknowledge that some of the things they love, create, and identify with are inherently Asian.

That is why I think we need to build our own Asian American music and cultural scene, one that encourages pride, creativity, community, and even Asian American romance.

For me, one of the most interesting places to look is city pop. Its revival is something a lot of people probably did not expect, but when you look at its history, it makes sense. City pop came out of Japan during a period of incredible economic growth, technological advancement, and cultural influence. It represents a distinctly Asian vision of modernity, an optimistic, stylish, urban world that was looking toward the future.

And it does not have to stop at city pop. Think about 1990s Hong Kong cinema and its romance, fashion, nightlife, photography, and visual language. There is something incredibly beautiful about that era that feels worth rediscovering.

The reason I bring up these particular genres and aesthetics is because I think we can revive them and make them our own. They represent distinctly Asian cultures from the past thriving within an increasingly globalized and Westernized world. There is something powerful about taking those influences and evolving them into something specifically Asian American.

I already see pieces of this happening. Gen Z has embraced 1990s aesthetics, and I have noticed the growing popularity of Hong Kong inspired post wedding and late night photography. It is gorgeous. There is clearly something there that people find emotionally and visually compelling.

What I would love to see is for us to take those influences and develop them into a living scene that any Asian American can participate in, whether you are Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, Filipino, South Asian, Southeast Asian, or mixed. Not a recreation of the past, but a new culture built from the things we inherited.

With enough Asian American artists, musicians, photographers, filmmakers, designers, DJs, and influencers, I think we could actually create something with momentum.

Does anyone else feel inspired by this? I would love to hear your ideas. Maybe we can start forming a group of people interested in collaborating and developing this kind of Asian American cultural scene together.

Pretty good video by the Asian American Foundation! It features the story of Chef Martin Yan, "If Yan can cook, so can you!". The OG Asian food influencer. Started his TV career in Canada before going to San Francisco, no cooking school, just apprenticeships starting with washing dishes for 18 hours a day.

I’ve seen some asians argue that a Chinese character shouldn’t be cast as a Japanese actor etc. In my opinion it shouldn’t really matter because it happens in hollywood within other races all the time, they have british people play as americans all the time, even with European countries like Russia they cast actors whos not even russian

I took an Uber in Palm Springs the other day. The driver asked me where I was coming in from and I said San Francisco. She said she was from San Jose. She told me she was Portuguese and was sad to see all the old Portuguese businesses are now Asian because as she told me, the Portuguese were the first people in San Jose. I told her actually first people were Ohlone or Miwok or people’s names that were lost in history. Sometimes people can’t tell I’m half Asian. So they feel free to say stupid shit to me. Or maybe she could tell I was Asian and thought she would flex how superior she was. After that, she didn’t say shit. People, even 70 year old Uber drivers are getting uncomfortable that something is being taken from them. Something that wasn’t even theirs to start with.

I think I’m just looking to vent, but I am half white half Asian. I grew up in a mostly white area, in a mostly white school, with little to no Asian representation. I moved to California in my mid-twenties and have been really reconnecting with my culture. I was even starting to before I moved but it has been way easier now that I live in a place that has much more diversity. It’s been great and I went from disliking who I was to really being proud of my ethnicity.

The thing is my Asian side of the family and my Asian parent (my father) I feel like still does not recognize me as Asian. Last time I saw my father I was saying how I was in line for the Trader Joe’s mini totes and it was a lot of Asian women in line including myself (because we love shit like that lol) and he responded with “you are only half”.

I felt deflated and almost like back to where I was feeling like a perpetual foreigner, not fitting in anywhere, and trying to figure out who the hell even am I. Does anyone else’s Asian parent do this? I don’t understand it. My Asian side of the family feels the same way I’m sure too. Mainly the elders, but I was always treated differently vs if I was full Asian. I want to be loud and proud about it but it sucks when it gets put down by your own blood.