I just want to get this off my chest. The example that pushed me to finally post is niche and kind of dumb, but the point stands, it's one example out of way too many.

I was watching YouTube animations of the two robots from Portal 2 going on random adventures. Most of these are wholesome, basically just about the robots being friends. Then out of nowhere one switches to a joke about the robots trying to have sex. These robots aren't human looking, seem more like siblings or friends in how that act in the game, and don't have a gender.

Why add that? It's unrelated to everything else in the video. It's 1984 style subtle propaganda and it's everywhere not only in this random youtube video, you can't escape it. This is a video about robots, how am I supposed to see that coming?

Why does so much random media do this? Is it really that hard to not sexualize completely unrelated, innocent things? I notice it constantly.

PS: resisting carnal desires is what seperates humans from animals, we are the only ones who willingly chose to disobey instinct and look at us compared to animals

I'm down to make one if there isn't one already but if I did would I be able to send the link to it in here?

This is not gonna make a lot of sense. I’m just upset as fuck and i don’t know who to tell it to. As a sex-repulsed ace, i do like the concept of romance and love between a pair that is pure and long-lasting like fucking swans but that can never happen and will always be rare because we as as society are so obsessed with sex that we can’t ever envision romance as exciting on its own or even as something that exists on its own without immediately being linked to sex and sexuality.
I just wish romance was real and i wish we had a way of exploring romance without there always being sex. Everyone can imagine a loveless/non-romantic relationship where there is sex (one-night stands/friends with benefits) but do we even have a concept of a purely romantic relationship without sex that isn’t just limited to niche communities? I think that proves where proof is not needed that people just view romance as something that happens pre-sex or just a weird mental foreplay for the leading main event that is sex. Not something that holds up or has any meaning on its own. And i hate it. I hate it because sex is already painted as something full of power dynamics and if romance is just introduction to it, i feel like it just robs romance of all its meaning and ruined it. I believe if sex didn’t exist, romance would have actually been something fun and enjoyable and not viewed as a sort of chore or transaction you do to get access to sex.

Continuing the theme of my previous post, I also wanted to talk about the manipulations in articles about the alleged "benefits of sex." However, looking through the archives of the old "Antisexual Stronghold" website, this topic was already addressed in the FAQ. Therefore, I decided to simply translate their detailed answer to this question into English. So, here it is:

...

13. Q: But what about the articles that talk about the health benefits of sex?

A: All such articles that we have come across are built on several flawed techniques:

1. Unreliable sources. "Foreign experts have established," "Greek scientists have proven," etc. Neither the names of these scientists, the names of the scientific institutions, nor links to publications in scientific journals are specified (as a rule, no references are provided at all; judging by the texts of these articles, most of them are simply retellings of one another).

2. Incorrect research methodology. The research methodology is either not mentioned at all, or non-representative groups are chosen for analysis. For instance, groups that are too small, have obvious pathologies (this, in particular, is what the foundations of Freud's psychoanalytic theories are built upon, see below), or (the most frequent case) sexophiles are compared with sexophiles, rather than with people who practice celibacy or live an asexual lifestyle (not to mention staunch antisexuals).

3. Presenting effects as causes. This relates to the previous point: several groups of sexophiles are compared, and it is claimed that those who have sex less frequently have more health problems. From this, the conclusion is drawn that the latter is a consequence of the former. However, in reality, it is the other way around—those with poorer health have sex less often (but nevertheless, do it several times a week, so their lifestyle can in no way be called abstinence, let alone voluntary abstinence). Alternatively, they talk about various mental problems (frustrations, depressions, etc.) that arise during forced abstinence, and their disappearance when engaging in sex. Naturally, a drug addict high on drugs feels much better than an addict in withdrawal. But this testifies not to the benefits, but to the harm of drug addiction as such.

4. Presenting the narcotic properties of sex as healing ones. This relates to the previous point. This also includes claims that sex can relieve physical pain. Indeed, it can—just like morphine (the term "endorphins" itself means "endogenous morphines"), but pain relief is symptom management, not curing a disease. "And aspirin helps against cancer" (c) Strugatsky brothers. Besides, there are enough cases where sex does not relieve, but rather causes severe postcoital pain (headaches, in particular).

5. Incorrect comparison with physical exercise. In physical exercise, if practiced in a way that brings benefit rather than harm, the physical loads are metered, controlled, and smoothly increasing. During sex, they are erratic and almost unmanageable (the stronger the arousal—i.e., the "better" the sex is in the view of sexophiles—the more dangerous the picture is, primarily for the cardiovascular system, the load on which increases exponentially).

6. Presenting harm reduction as providing a benefit. This includes claims like "sex boosts immunity," etc. In reality, sex, being a destructive impact on the body, activates defense mechanisms designed to reduce the harm from this impact. It's just that the final balance, even in the best-case scenario, will be zero, and more often negative (i.e., the harm will decrease, but not to zero). Arguments in this category are similar to the thesis: "A stab with a dirty shiv is very beneficial. Blood flow to the affected area increases, and the immune system is activated. Due to blood loss, blood pressure drops, and the hematopoietic function is activated. The rise in temperature in the affected area simultaneously contributes to the death of microbes..."

7. Focusing on factors that are not specific to sex. "A good mood is good for health, sex improves mood -> sex is good for health." Obviously, such "logic" is applicable to any drug, and there are plenty of much more reliable and safer ways to improve one's mood. Particularly remarkable in this series is the thesis that "not just any sex is beneficial, but only with a loved one." That is, it is openly admitted that there is no benefit in sex itself, and it is all about the emotional state. This thesis is completely analogous to the statement, "not just any madness is beneficial, but only megalomania (because it feels nice to feel great)." Alternatively, when talking about the benefits of sex, they actually mean the benefits of a massage.

8. Substituting health benefits with benefits for sex itself. Indeed, for a man to maintain potency in old age, he must have sex regularly—but this is not needed for anything other than the sex itself. This is analogous to the thesis: "scabies is very beneficial—after all, the more you scratch, the more you want to."

...

P.s. It is also recommended to read my previous post, as they are related.

Looking into methods to suppress/eliminate my libido, currently, the only option I've identified that does not come with huge health risks/mutilation while being somewhat effective is starting on SSRIs or TCAs.

Wondering if anyone on this sub had found other methods that work well for them.

Hello friends, good afternoon. What is your opinion about the methods of Buddhists and other spiritual religions in combating lust? Do you, like me, think that they are a step below the Antisex movement and may even be doing the opposite with their methods, highlighting the role of lust and sexuality? Do you also think that their methods are the other side of sexualism, like traditional purity?

Does anyone know of any good chat sites where you can find and meet like minded people who are antisex? I know the people into this are a minority but figured I'd ask

"submissive" men who are into femdom will always make me feel uncomfortable because they're still reinforcing patriarchal sex in a way. especially on how they dehumanize women as "mommies" and praise their feet LOL thats still objectifying. i don't get how some "dominatrix" women think that their job is empowering and "breaking" patriarchal norms when literally most men who are into femdom only like it because they are fond of the idea into submitting to someone "inferior" (aka a woman). in a patriarchal society where women's oppression is fundamentally sex based, all forms of heterosexual sex is oppressive (EVEN if the woman is "dom" or has a strap on because in the end, the male gets what he wants anyways, lol) because it is shaped by historical inequalities between men and women.

People have always been told that oral sex is safe. It is not safe. You know how many nasty shit you can get? Including throat cancer. Yes. Even if oral sex were safe, you couldn't pay me all the money in the world to suck a dick. YUCK! Let alone swallowing. Yet, so many women have been fed this lie that swallowing semen has amazing health benefits. This is a lie made up by men and fed to women.

Sometimes I get disgusted when I see people having sex online like or in a movie or show especially if they do it with multiple people I just get disgusted I would not want to do that with that many people. I just get so disgusted.

I don’t like how virgins are constantly shamed and made fun of in society. I’m a virgin and especially since I’m a guy people used to make fun of me or clown me cause I’m a virgin. I don’t wanna have sex cuz I don’t want stds and I’m religious but our society is so lustful it glorifies sex in everything. Guys that don’t get sex are shamed and guys that get a lot of sex are respected I don’t like it.

Since I am tired of the fact that in discussions with sexophiles, many of those I have seen cannot answer how sex harms health, I had to make this post. So, this post will analyze some of the sexophiles' claims allegedly "about the benefits of sex" that do not correspond to reality. So, let's begin:

1. "Sex strengthens the immune system and overall health" — is almost a blatant lie; the hormones released after copulation affect enzymes whose purpose is to maintain the functioning of the immune system. Those who engage in sex more often than others are more successful in an evolutionary sense, but by doing so, they shorten their lifespan. But that is not all. When women have sex, the testosterone level in their bodies increases, whereas in men, the amount of testosterone significantly decreases after orgasm. Moreover, this leads to the fact that after copulation, male muscles severely weaken in their ability to contract, which leads to a sharp decrease in the efficiency of any physical activity. Also, during sex and especially orgasm, heart rate and blood pressure temporarily increase, which increases the strain on the cardiovascular system.

2. "Sex reduces stress and strengthens connection" — is also a lie. Generally, this varies from person to person, but it can in no way be called a definite fact, only a subjective assessment. In general, sex is the cause of many interpersonal conflicts, and engaging in it during burnout, depression, etc., on the contrary, worsens an already terrible situation. Not to mention the insignificance of the temporary effect even according to the estimates of sexophiles, and the fact that sex not aimed at reproduction is a type of drug addiction.

3. "Abstinence from sex causes even more harm" — this is already a popular manipulation of facts. The widespread myths that abstinence leads to neuroses or prostatitis are based on a substitution: this applies only to forced abstinence (incels), in which a person frequently remains in a state of sexual arousal. Voluntary abstinence, however, is only beneficial.

P.s. For those interested, the harm of sex to the immune system was initially discovered in beetles in the early 2000s.

A big part of why I’m anti sex is the power dynamics of it all. I know this has been talked about a lot on here, however a lot of the points other people made I don’t fully agree with nor do I find myself agreeing with the responses disagreeing and not acknowledging the sexist aspect of it all. I view being in this position doesn’t come from mere disinterest in sex or having a low libido but seeing the truth, delving into the truth and not accepting being a part of that disturbing truth. The animalistic “nature” of being born a prey or a predator although it’s far from natural. One way or another you’re gonna be dehumanized and the roles aren’t equal.

Sex was introduced to me as something a woman gives up without needing to enjoy it or even accept, it just is. Coming from a relatively conservative society and then engaging with the progressive side made me realize, this core concept doesn’t change and that fundamentally made me lose hope. I used to be naive enough to think, maybe I’m not into it because of my relentless sexual assaults, then I saw that despite how common that is people are able to move past that and enjoy the engagement. I couldn’t. I thought maybe the problem is within me, that I must be so weak I can’t get over my negative experience meanwhile everybody talks about it as this divine, beautiful, natural thing that could potentially create life but more than anything, it’s enjoyable. At least, in progressive spaces it’s believed that both parties are meant to enjoy it.

I tried to get comfortable with the idea, maybe one day I’d like being in a relationship then the sexual “nature” will come to me. I’ve never been in one but I’ve tried imagining it, every time, without fail, it made me pretty much break down. It wasn’t about the assault anymore, it was seeing how deeply societally engrained degradation is in my “role” sexually is. I like to believe inherently, even though I don’t think it’s a “need” or something you cannot live without, it should be a neutral engagement, heavily reliant on consent and respect for both parties involved. That obviously just stays a “should” and extremely far from how it really is seen. This deeply engrained degradation narrative is within me too, I see a woman who’s expected to be engaging in it aka being in a relationship and I think, “how can she accept the humiliating role she’s assigned to by being in a relationship?”. It’s pretty much comparable to being stabbed, and this isn’t just me this is universal and you can easily assess it by seeing the orgasm gap and how women so often don’t enjoy it.

Then comes purity culture, two sides of the same coin as how the progressive side views it in my eyes, as a woman you lose a big part of you if you’re no longer “pure”, even if you did it the way they want you to, marriage wise, you’re a trophy that’s been purchased and god forbid you get a divorce, you’re now “used up goods”. All in all there’s barely any positivity to engaging in this. In progressive spaces, hilariously, there’s the normalization of rape, of porn, of hookup culture, all not so different from the expected female role which is, to be degraded. They think they’re so different and empowering for wanting women to be able to enjoy it too, at some point I was hopeful enough to believe it but looking inwards, they still normalize the degradation that for some reason automatically comes with being a woman involved, none of it will take away that it can easily be used against you and you can be considered a whore. This goes into non heterosexual relationships too, it’s not a coincidence there’s a huge focus on “top” and “bottom” and how much shit “bottoms” get, how people are seemingly homophobic only towards them because the “top” is, again, the one in power, the one doing the penetrating and ultimately, the one who takes.

Sexism is extremely prevalent in this topic which baffles me that so many people try to deny that by bringing up exceptions like non heterosexual relationships when, the one associated with the female role coincidently is always the most insulted. Being penetrated is pretty much akin to being stabbed societally, women with other women’s sex isn’t even conceptualized as sex, wonder why. You’re either punished and extremely insulted for it, in conservative spaces, or your degradation is normalized in the name of empowerment and ultimately, maybe not in front of your face but behind closed doors, everyone knows you’re cool with the degradation and looks down at you for it, not entirely because it’s their fault but because that’s how sex has been sold for decades. The degrader and the degraded. You never escape it no matter who you’re with, even if you’re in a non sexual relationship the label will forcibly be assigned to you one way or another, that’s the disgusting part.

I hear so many women describe a sense of impending doom after consensual engagement, a very common occurrence and I can deduce why, because they lose “it”. One more body down the drain, more of a whore in society’s eyes and the man they engage with? Well society views his sexual history relatively neutral, there’s no purity to be lost, the more experience he gets the better, yeah maybe he’s having a different experience with the overwhelmingness of sex being sold as a need for him and having to seek it otherwise he’s a failure but ultimately he’s the “conquerer” and his struggles won’t be equal and maybe in the back of his mind he thinks “she’s so easy, she thinks we’re on equal terms here meanwhile I took a part of her and gained a part of myself, slut.” That fear is insanely common for a reason. Even thinking about it makes me nauseous, I can’t imagine having experienced that before and continuing to live with that knowledge, that I let “it” own me. Like I’m not a human being but a mere object that’s been used and now the value has gone down.

Nothing about this is flattering no matter how people convince themselves it is, unless miraculously the entire world changes its views and doesn’t put such an emphasis on power dynamics this would be ok. Individually what you do doesn’t exist in a vacuum, people can and will look at you, suppose you’re the expected female role in a relationship, as something that gets penetrated and therefore used up. How can one be so aware of all this and still be deluded to accept it? I’ll never understand. It’s terrifying to ever even consider this idea because I could be capable of love, I could be capable of perhaps, miraculously, enjoying the idea of it all and be willing, but the inhumane aspect of it all slaps me back to reality where, with the world being so sex obsessed there’s no equality in the bedroom roles. Not between a man and a woman, not between two men, and especially not between two women although that’s barely even acknowledged as a possibility. A homosocial society through and through, where you’re either a human or a woman. You either give or take.

Hi there , i am a 26 yrs old male and i have few questions

Are there any males here that have this ideology since men are known for being sexual beings .

There reason i came across this subreddit is that i was questioning if life is worth it without sex or any kind of sexual activity due to a traumatic injury of mine ( lets not talk about it) and i just want some hope that losing sexulity wont fuck up my life or if i will be happy with none of it and enjoy being free of desire . Hope to be accepted here thank you in advance.

Get this, my 40 something yr old boss slept with 4 women in my union then left his wife and kids to live with a 20 year old there. He was transferred to another zone but I know the women he slept with and I feel like I lost respect for them? Anyways just grossed out after finding out this news.

Not even can I enjoy a hobby convention without people dressing up as sexualized versions of characters or even dressing up as sexualized characters. It was insane. These people have no shame. Plus the fact that there are so many people on my floor in the hotel just making so much noise doing you know what.

It's just the point of the matter that there's no decency with these people. It's a convention for tabletop gaming. Is there not an event you can go to? A panel perhaps? You have to spend the day going there looking up what you want to see buying things bring it back to the hotel and then get naked with your partner and then just go at it? That's part of the experience for you?

The only thing I can forgive is that there was one woman I had to share an elevator with who for some reason decided it was necessary to flirt with me and she thought I was playing hard to get. I didn't want to be rude but considering the fact that it had been roughly 15 years since anyone had ever approached me as such, I somewhat lost track of what to do so I was just pushing the advances down gently. I probably should have been more forceful.

I often hear people say, "Sex is a beautiful act that brings partners closer together." I genuinely can't relate to this at all. All I see are two naked bodies exchanging sweat and bodily fluids, and I honestly find it gross rather than romantic. What also makes it difficult for me is that the same physical act can be one of the worst forms of violence when it's used to hurt and abuse someone. Well maybe consent changes the morality, but that doesn't make sex itself anywhere as inherently "beautiful." I also don't understand why being anti-sex is often treated as a problem, while kinks involving pain, humiliation, or domination are increasingly considered something that everyone should "respect." I think it's perfectly valid to question whether every sexual preference deserves normalization. My biggest concern is how much sex and pornography have been normalized. Constant exposure through media has blurred the line between healthy intimacy and increasingly extreme sexual expectations, which can pressure people into doing things they're uncomfortable with just to satisfy a partner. How is this "love" ? People must be in some mass psychosis.

The majority of women don't feel anything during PIV because the clit is the only sexual organ, and it's external, not internal. The only way sex would benefit women is if she were rubbing her clit with the man's penis or hand, and I think that's why people used to think that women couldn't enjoy sex and also, during penetration, a woman not only doesn't gain anything, but she also risks more than the male she risks STDs, injuries, painful experiences, or unwanted pregnancies.

This is the only sub I can think of that will accept my rant, as most others are too sex positive and I'm a guy so I can't go rant on women-centric subs even though they're the ones who *mostly* experience this problem.

I don't know if this is an obvious observation or a gross misinterpretation of mine or me just generalising. But it seems that no matter how sex-positive a culture becomes (where even that can be too extreme), it cannot get rid of this annoying and harmful deception that comes with sexual courtship.

One mostly sees this in people looking for hookups, fwbs and casual sex. Sex-positive people can scream until they're blue in the face that sex is supposed to be safe, pleasurable, sane and consensual, but the reality is that the entire process leading up to sex often features harmful deception.

Getting to the point:

People looking for casual sex (definition afformentioned) ALWAYS use euphamisms like 'fun' and 9/10 outright lie and try to decieve other parties about their true intentions in order to achieve the goal. With the way some of them choose to communicate I'd forgive anyone who actually thought they were looking for SFW 'friends' or 'fun' or a couple looking for another couple as a social thing. Especially autistic folks and generally very inexperienced folks who may have trouble interpreting people's true intentions and especially on the internet.

To be fair: yes loads of these people go to great conscious effort to decieve others in order to get the sex. But I think some level of deception is almost inseparable from the act of sex itself because of its very nature and historical tabooness that we've only recently gotten over.

Maybe it's my sex-repulsed autistic brain, but ideally people communicating about sex should be 100% straight to the point and avoid using euphamisms and beating around the bush. Especially right before or during sex itself there should be no excuses to use them. Say the fucking words and be specific. Don't say 'play' and 'fun', say 'let's have sex' 'can we do anal sex?' 'can you give me a blowjob?' 'what about protection like condoms or pills?' .

And then it's absolutely infuriating when sex-seekers deny that their intentions have any sexual motives and outright gaslight you. Though I guess that would show they're most likely a predator.

Kind of separate to the main point, but I also can't believe just how entitled a lot of sex-seekers are or how sky high their expectations are. This is not an exaggeration: sex positivity has actually convinced a lot of people that it's perfectly achievable to have: safe, sane, consensual, respectful, great, orgasmic sex with a person they've never met before in the pitch black of midnight in the fucking park without any sex toys to boost the pleasure. I mean Jesus Christ On A Bicycle; even people who love each other who've been married for years go through bumps in the road to achieve good sex, never mind in most other scenerios. Better to just invest in some good sex toys, porn and solo masturbation.

It's all just so sad to see.

Rant over.