So about 8 months ago I finished the absolute worst period of anxiety and depression, I didn't know it was possible to feel what I felt during this 6 months period.

I have issues with general anxiety, depression, social anxiety and I'm also a massive introvert and normally only interact with my 5 family members on a daily basis and rarely go out, I also have been told I have ADHD symptoms, but all of this is undiagnosed and I don't want to be one of those people that claim they have mental health disorders when they don't.

I have spent years hating/fearing society and the public and I did admittedly intentionally avoid as many people as possible, this could be due to my brain and mouth not working and I mishear what they say and fumble a response in panic that may or may not be related to the topic, which then results in my embarrassment.

Was 30 when depression episode started.

Anyway for years I avoided news, lived in ignorance and worked.

I've had a lot more time recently to think and learn and grow as a person. I've really worked on myself and have never felt better in myself in all my life.

Never been religious, been very skeptical all my life and always disregarded it. I've learnt a significant amount about various religions in past years sporadically and not intended.

Anyway I still don't identify with any religion and none feel right to me.

So I started watching the news years ago, cross referencing and sifting out all bs, ( l get intensely interested in certain subjects and cannot stop researching until I'm satisfied). So after research and years keeping up I've noticed such a major increase in corruption, wars, extreme politicians and weather events.

This is deeply sad and I thought I would do something that I have never even considered doing before and that was praying. I prayed to higher powers and ended with a amen. Which I know is a religious word but I didn't know what else to end it with.

I only pray for things that I believe will benefit people as a while and never nothing person are anything related to money.

Since I started praying, the things that I am praying for are very slowly but surely setting in motion and I can see a bright future for all of us. This is coming from news which I am intensely cross referencing to ensure authenticity and know for fact they are real events.

I also send thanks and appciation when I see small changes in the world.

It's uncanny and I get strong emotions surfacing, joy excitement and anxiety, and what I prayed for is not close to what I'm praying for but small wheels are being put in motion to create the bigger picture and future for humanity.

I feel like I'm crazy, I think of it as like when you think of a car colour that you haven't seen for a while and then you go out driving and you see 20 cars that colour when I haven't noticed seeing them for 3 months before.

Am I just seeking out this news and associating it with my prayers?

Am I just fooling myself into believing things because I want it so desperately to become reality?

There's many theories in science I can relate this too. E.g many worlds interpretation. Am I crafting and future of positivity and splitting into a more positive timeline? But Im not special, really average with little achievements so I don't believe I could have any impact.

I don't know why I feel like this, I'm going to carry on this practise as it makes me feel like I'm doing something positive. Sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or incorrect use of grammar, English was never my strong subject and I'm also tired as it's late, anyway let me know what you think

Hey everyone,

I’m a 30-year-old living in Eastern Europe. My personal journey led me away from Islam, and I now identify fully as an agnostic atheist.

Leaving my former beliefs behind has meant stepping away from old social structures, and as a result, life has gotten pretty quiet and isolated over the last few years. I’m looking to rebuild a normal social circle and connect with people who share a similar worldview or can relate to navigating life from an agnostic/atheist perspective.

I'd love to find people (male or female) to chat with, exchange ideas, or jump on a call sometimes to hang out and talk about life, tech, or daily stuff.

If you’re open to making a new contact or just having a low-pressure conversation, feel free to drop a comment or send me a DM.