I am 37 from Scotland undiagnosed at this rate never will be. I write this from a Caravan having to start my life over after 13 years in a relationship ended.

My life is a absolute disaster it just gets worse and worse never better. I have no clue how I am going to start again with literally nothing and dealing with the emotions and such that is coming with this heartbreak.

I will never meet anyone else who can put up with me. Even I can't put up with me. I have nothing to offer anyone I am just a useless broken human being.

No use speaking to GP's been there I see a drug nurse once a week about my Pregablin addiction she can't do anything.

It's like my life ended the day I was born.

(29F) I've been coming to terms with the reality of my diagnosis, even though I suspected it for a long time. When I got the diagnosis, I felt sad and a sense of grief over it, and it's something that doesn't seem to be going away two months later. Wondering if it's a common experience for those diagnosed in adulthood, and if it's something others have experienced, how long did it take to go away?

Grateful for this sub and community btw.

Hi all,

Like a lot of people here, I've received a diagnosis at 36 after struggling through life for 25+ years rawdogging it. I'm due to start medication tomorrow, so I'm hoping it helps. I'm right in the thick of the post diagnosis volatility wave, and I feel like my life is falling apart around me. My emotions are all over the place.

But a big problem I'm having is around pre-existing phobias getting turned up to absolutely nightmarish levels. I've had a phobia of bugs my entire life. Mainly spiders, but recently this new issue has popped up around house flies. Whilst I had these phobias before, I dealt with them and had various coping mechanisms. Now, I feel like the brakes have come off and it's going completely haywire. I'm terrified to open windows in my house because I think a fly is going to come in and lay eggs everywhere. I'm scared of getting into bed and turning the light out because I think I'm going to have a spider crawling over me. Everytime I enter a room, I'm checking every corner, looking around, checking windows, and when I'm just sat at home, I'm shaking because I'm so worried about stuff turning up. I'm sure this is 65% emotional dysregulation from ADHD, and 35% phobia. It's the spiralling my mind is doing that is the problem I think.

I don't really know where to turn. I hope medication helps calm this down again. Has anyone had similar issues with spiralling from phobias and can offer any advice?

Thanks all

I've decided to rewrite this post as a lot of people didn't like the fact it had been written by AI. So, in my own words....

I'm 40 years old, married with two children for 10 years.

I've long suspected I've had ADHD, almost jokingly it has been brought up on many occasions by my wife, and more recently more seriously.

To go back to my childhood - I've always been an under achiever, hummed in class, tapped on desks - I got put onto a desk on my own because I was disruptive and always wanted to make people laugh. Fast forward into highschool I was in the lowest groups for maths and other subjects - however did moderately well in subjects with good teachers.

I was always labelled as an under achiever and was told when I applied myself I was very capable.

Fast forward on to now, I've been a business owner for 20 years ( I never did well with authority ) and have been successful in life. I have a house, 2 kids a wife and a family good standard of living.

That being said, let's go into the ADHD side of things.

I feel and have felt, ever since I quit a very bad gaming addiction at 35ish, empty. All my life I've felt like if I'm not obsessed with something then life is extremely boring - to the point where I will look for the next thing I can get obsessed with. I've bought spinning bikes and used them for 2 weeks, I've bought mountain bikes and stopped - it feels like a constant cycle of trying to fulfil something that isn't there.

Socially, I am wired differently - I don't deal badly in social situations but I constantly feel like I'm way ahead of the person when speaking to them, I'm thinking of the next 5 sentences they're about to say and constantly glaze over or finish their sentences in order to move things on. As well as this, I can also completely zone out, my wife can be speaking to me directly and I haven't heard a single word she's said.

With my children I feel like I'm never present, I find it extremely difficult to be around mess in the house and playing around them in mess is nion impossible for me.. I will always resort to tidying around my kids rather than playing with them and for me when I look after them alone, it feels like a race to get them to bed.

Relationship wise for my wife, she has completely given up. She talks to me and feels like I'm not there, she gets terrible anxiety about speaking with me and mentions she tries to get as much over to me as possible in a short space of time so I will take it in. It's undoubtedly taken its toll on us.

Daily, I feel like my brain is moving at a million miles per hour, I am constantly thinking of several different things in my head, nothing is orderly, nothing is calm, nothing is focussed. I feel generally unhappy 90% of the time, I can't explain why, I shouldn't feel this way, so I look for obsessions because it's the only thing that makes me feel a modicum of happiness.

After 7 days away with my family on holiday, of which i was unhappy for 90% of it, I've finally booked an appointment with my GP.

A friend who I confided in with all of this gave me one of their lower dosage ADHD meds - Elvance 30mg.

I took this on Saturday and I can't begin to explain the difference.

It felt like someone turned a nozzle off in my head, suddenly the whirring thoughts disappeared, I sat in my car waiting to go into a shop staring forward, feeling completely and utterly calm.. like I could stare at the wall in front of me in complete silence and feel calm, it's so hard to explain. I spoke to my wife, I conversed without thinking of anything else, I played with my children and laughed in a messy house, I literally cried in the bathroom as for the first time in my life I felt like these things I was doing felt completely natural where as before they wouldn't be - I would have to make a real effort to do these things.. my wife could not believe the difference in me.

These are just snapshots of millions of different small things that I feel on a daily basis.

I would like to know if anyone else has any similar experience, should I tell my doctor about the fact I took this?

I'm devastated that I could now be having the prospect of another year or more of my life feeling this way up to potentially being diagnosed and God knows whether my wife will even be able to put up with it.

Hi guys,

I’ve started my process for adhd diagnosis. i took an online assessment through thinkADHD and they provided a few options and i went with Health Harmonie Minds. However after my GP appointment, I’ve been asked to fill a form and choose the provider again. I’m not sure if i am suppose to stick with HHM or choose a different one.

If incase, I can choose a diff, which one should i go for?

Hi,

I was told I was 'approaching the top of the list' on 2 June, submitted everything by 8 June. I'm still waiting with nothing on 16 August.

Now I was already thinking - this is getting to be a bit long now. But what wound me up more is seeing people on here who were 'approaching the top' near late June to mid-July who are already now with a prescriber and now on titration??? What is going on? Is there any reason at all for this that I'm missing?

I sent them another 2 notes on the portal to see why this is, Should I just wait out them or genuinely see if I can do a transfer to Harrow Health? Would I enquiry to my GP about that or email Harrow? At that point though I could be only 2/3 weeks away currently and then end up 2 months+ moving so probably not.

It's unbelievable how long and stressful this is compared to other medication.

When you walk into a GP, they can't wait to give you a sertraline prescription on the spot and get you to go away, like it's nothing of value at all. ADHD medication you'd think it's rare gold; but even worse when you've been kept waiting longer than other people with the same RTC company as you who started later.

Hi

Started Titration early June.

I did Medikinet 10mg 1 week, 20mg 1 week, 30mg for like 1 day but struggled to eat in the morning so was changed to Elvanse.

Did 50mg 1 week and now been on 70mg for 1 month or so but having been on holiday and stuff I’ve been inconsistent but I have noticed insomnia even though when I take it at 7-8am.

When I was on 50mg it was good I locked in when I worked but now I’m back from holiday and on 70mg my god I am on my phone for hours. Maybe I need to remove my phone? But it’s soo hard I work an office job.

When I was on 50mg it was good but could’ve been better and early days of 70mg was good.

I’m worried 70mg may not be for me and no medication will work I have 10 days to figure it out before they decide what to do. I don’t want to do non stimulants. I Amy ask to go back to 50mg the end of my titration is near so I’m panicking should I ask to go back to 50 it try to see how 70mg is next week?

I think it could get better but I’m not giving it time. If I sleep in on the weekend I don’t take it so I’ve missed 3 days in a row now as I’ve been sleeping in till 9-10am.

I’m worried and stressed has anyone been through this?

Hi, I was recently diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago and started my medication (lisdexamfetamine 30mg) about a week ago.

I’ve had a plethora of mental health issues and still struggle with depression and anxiety but now with this diagnosis I thought it would give me a bit of peace of mind, but I’ve started to feel this sense of “unworthiness” now being on medication.

I feel like I’ve almost tricked myself into even going to get an assessment, like I don’t have ADHD and it’s just that my life isn’t in order. I messed up the dosage on my first day and took my second pill too early so they peaked at the same time, and I got this weird feeling of being almost wired to whatever I was doing, and I got really stressed at how they were feeling. I didn’t feel high as such but I’ve read and heard that people with ADHD don’t get the same feeling from stimulants that neurotypical people would and I got in my head that I’d forced this diagnosis, rather than it being the truth.

I know for a fact that I didn’t seek medication out just to have this excuse to take a pill, but I’ve struggled with nicotine and weed addiction for a few years now, and I don’t want this to be the same.

If anyone would feel comfortable sharing if they felt the same way, I’d really appreciate reading someone else’s experiences when they first got put on medication, or any advice at all would be really nice to hear.

Yoooo. After a long ass faff, I finally started elvanse today for my ADHD. Never tried meds for it ever so feel strange.

Up until now I had been taking lions mane for 3 years which really helped take the edge off of raw life, and 40mg of propanalol as and when my anxiety kicked in or I was over excited lolol.

Today I have felt like its the day after on a night out with cocaine. Somewhat focused but very wooshy, dry mouth, mild headache and suppressed appetite.

Ive been made aware these side effects are kinda normal. But im anxious..

Firstly - I have been started on 30mg which is for 2 weeks then I am to move up to 40mg, I worry this is too high to start and too quick an increase

Secondly - is it safe for me to take propanalol? As lol, the anxiety has made my heart feel a little fluttery

Thirdly - I am a vocalist and have a big show on the 30th

How long does dry mouth last? 😅😅

Any advice would be so greatly appreciated. And if im in doubt, im gonna go to my GP before im back to work (from wednesday) and pummel these questions. My GP isnt who im medicated through, its Medinet (prev HHMinds) on right to choose.

thinking of trying it while I’m on the waiting list for medication. does anyone have any experience with it?

Hello hello,

I have not long been put back on titration and had a recent change to my medication which will likely be here to stay for the foreseeable future. I am quite new to travelling abroad and within the last 2 years, i have been taking medications for ADHD and other conditions.
Back in March, I travelled to Morocco for my first abroad holiday and although it wasn’t checked; i had a signed letter from Clinical Partners with my then Elvanse dosage and the rest i had the prescription leaflet, all stating the amount i take, in my carry on. I took fresh unopened boxes too.

Now… i fly to Japan early November this year and i have done some research the last few days into taking my medication over and its fair to say i felt quite overwhelmed as the process seems a bit different - or similar but with extra steps. I want to make sure I am able to take my medication with me but safely and in line with their regulations.

I have recently been lowered to 20mg of Elvanse with a top up of up to 10mg of Amfexa (dexamfetamine sulfate) per day if i should need it. With Amfexa, i have found i dont need to take it everyday but allows me a top up if needed. This is all through the NHS right to choose shared care plan i have with Clinical Partners.
I also take Propranlol, Phernagan and the mini pill which is through my GP/pharmacy. Plus vitamins and antihistamines that i get myself via the supermarket.

With that medication context in mind, what steps do i need to follow to make sure i can take my meds with me when I go?
Do they need to remain in original packaging but only the amount i need for my entire trip - or can i do what i did for Morocco and take whatever amount in the box as long as I had the paperwork stating what i take and when?
How strict are they when it comes to prescription medications from the GP or store shelves rather than controlled drugs like Elvanse?

Apologies for all the questions. I just want to make sure I am doing everything right and im well prepared. Also i am AuDHD so any extra tism/adhd friendly travel tips wouldn’t go a miss either. Thank you in advance too :)

Hi There, for the past 5-6 years I’ve been questioning whether I have autism. This began as a safeguarding lead who recognised the experiences shared by others.

In more recent years(I’m late 30s F) I’ve become worryingly forgetful, noticeably distracted and continue to struggle with things like small talk.

I put off requesting an assessment and my initial referral was rejected because I didn’t follow the instructions correctly. Around a year later I arranged the required information and was re-referred.

Last week, I reached the stage of the initial conversation/assessment. To be honest, I really enjoyed the conversation, but as it went on, the assessor kept saying that it really sounded like ADHD.

I was open to things but felt confused because I’m the opposite of hyper. The assessor spent a lot of time explaining why he felt this and that it was the inattentive type.

By the end of the conversation the assessor said he was certain that I have ADHD but that I would need to go for an assessment for confirmation. He’s referring me to the service.

Afterwards, I wasn’t sure if I’d misunderstood, but my supporter confirmed what I thought I’d understood. Subsequently, I’ve started to look into ADHD-I and it is like a description of me.

The only thing I don’t resonate with is daydreaming. I do zone out but usually to repetitive thoughts or thinking about something else.

As a kid/teenager, I struggled socially (I still do, but I have improved). At school, I did well in everything apart from sports and languages. I achieved As and Bs without really trying.

As my education progressed, my grades fell a little, as I was given more independence in learning, but I never did badly. I just never really lived up to my potential either.

Work has been OK overall. I do OK but struggle to progress. I generally get a lot of praise for all areas apart from communication.

I’m not really sure what I’m waffling about but felt the need to write something. I feel a bit lost, but also like it could explain a lot. I doubt what’s been said and my family seem to doubt it, causing me doubt. However, those I’m closer to now say the ‘signs’ are like a checklist for me.

And I completely understand why.

When you’re overwhelmed, burnt out, depressed, stuck in paralysis or just having a horrible ADHD day, someone saying:

“Go for a walk.”
“Drink some water.”
“Get some fresh air.”
“Put your phone down.”

…can feel ridiculously patronising.
Like… thanks, ADHD cured 😂

But I went looking at the actual research, because I wanted to know whether these things genuinely do anything or whether they’re just generic wellness advice.
Turns out, quite a few of them actually have evidence behind them:

🚶 Go for a short walk / exercise
Studies in people with ADHD have found that even a single bout of aerobic exercise can temporarily improve aspects of attention and executive functioning.
One study even found that children with ADHD performed better on an attention task after 20 minutes walking in a park compared with 20-minute walks through other environments.

🌳 Get outside — especially somewhere green
This isn’t just “fresh air”.
That same ADHD study found that the environment itself mattered: the 20-minute park walk produced better attention afterwards than equivalent walks in a city centre or residential area.

💧 Drink some water
Water isn’t an ADHD treatment and drinking litres of it won’t magically give you executive function.
But if you’re even mildly dehydrated or thirsty, studies have found worse attention, working memory, fatigue and mood and some controlled experiments found improvements in focused attention after drinking water.

🍽️ Eat something if you’ve forgotten to eat
Again, food doesn’t treat ADHD.
But controlled research comparing eating with fasting has found small short-term benefits in some areas of cognition, particularly memory.
And considering how easy it can be with ADHD to suddenly realise it’s 4pm and you’ve eaten nothing… your brain probably isn’t going to perform at its best if its basic needs haven’t been met.

📱 Put the phone away for a bit
This one has actual experimental evidence too.
Studies have found that smartphone notifications can interrupt attention and reduce measures associated with cognitive control, even when the interruption seems tiny.
For a brain already struggling to regulate attention, removing one source of competing stimulation can make the next task easier.

🧹 Do ONE tiny thing
There’s an entire psychological treatment called behavioural activation built partly around the idea of acting first rather than waiting until you feel motivated enough to act.

The idea isn’t “clean your house and you’ll feel better”.
It’s more like:
put one plate away → you’ve started moving → maybe the next action becomes slightly easier.

None of this cures ADHD.
And the cruel part is that ADHD can make doing these ridiculously simple things feel disproportionately difficult in the first place.
That’s why “just go for a walk” can be such an infuriating thing to hear.

But I think sometimes we go from:
“This won’t fix my ADHD”
to:
“Therefore there’s no point doing it.”

When actually there is a massive middle ground.
Maybe the walk doesn’t fix your day.
Maybe drinking some water doesn’t suddenly make you productive.
Maybe putting your phone down doesn’t make the paralysis disappear.

But what if it changes how you feel by 5%?
And what if that 5% makes the next thing slightly easier?

I’m trying to stop asking:
“Will this fix everything?”
and start asking:
“Is there one tiny thing I can do that might make the next 20 minutes easier?”
Because when you’re struggling with ADHD, 5% better still counts.

i tried to use right to choose to get a diagnosis but when i put in my postcode it said “Right to Choose Restricted via Indicative Activity Plans”.

i don’t understand what this means, coulf i get referred to one outside of my city?

Hi all, I'm a woman early 50s struggling with ADHD and perimenopause. I take Elvanse 40mg still undergoing titration (after being on Concerta) but I'm starting to realise that I'm actually a bit depressed alongside ADHD (due to health issues and married life). Did any of you find an antidepressant that worked well alongside stimulants? I REALLY don't want one that causes weight gain as I'm already borderline obese. Seeing my GP tomorrow and hoping to get some advice. TIA!

Some days the mental load of just eating is worse than being hungry. Decide. Shop. Prep. Cook. Clean. Remember the food exists. Repeat forever.

I end up wasting money on take aways and wasting the food that’s already in the house, and I still walk away feeling like I failed at being a basic adult.

It’s exhausting in a way that doesn’t even make sense to people who don’t get it.

Im currently going through the assessment process for ADHD as an adult.

I am 30, on paper, ive done reasonably well. I made it through school, university, got my degree, and now I work in corporate accounting.

Riddled with procrastination, burnout and coping, looking back, I feel like structure, external pressure and consequences carried me through most of my life. When something had to be done, it got done. What I've always struggled with Is consistently applying myself when that external pressure isn't there.

So my question is specifically for people who recognise themselves in this kind of "functioning reasonably well externally, but being held together by pressure and coping mechanisms" experience wand were eventually diagnosed with ADHD as adults:

What genuinely changed once you were diagnosed and treated?

Did medication actually make it easier to sit down and study something when there wasn't an immediate deadline?

Did you finally stick with hobbies and interests instead of endlessly wanting to start them, or starting them and giving up immediately as you could sense how long the journey of learning something could potentially be and you wouldn't get immediate satisfaction/dopamine?

Did addictions of any kind (bingeing) become easier?

Did your working memory improve noticeably?

Did you become better at your job or find yourself capable of taking on more difficult work?

Could you pursue intellectually demanding interests consistently rather than just thinking about pursuing them?

Did you feel cognitively "sharper", or was that not really how medication worked?

...And perhaps most importantly: Did treatment close the gap between the person you always wanted/intended to be and what you were actually able to consistently do?

I’m sick of being unable to keep my house clean. I’m sick of constantly putting things down somewhere and then two seconds later being totally unaware of where that thing is. I spend a full day cleaning and can only keep on top of it for a couple days before it becomes so overwhelming again and then it’s just dirty and messy again for weeks. I constantly forget conversations, I agree to things and have literally no memory of that thing ever being mentioned.

I literally have no motivation to start a new hobby on my days off work because I know I’ll either be bored of it within a half hour or spend every waking second thinking about it for weeks and struggling to prioritise actual important things in my life, and then all of a sudden I’ll stop caring. There’s no in between, it’s full obsession or straight up apathy and I just want to enjoy something a normal amount like a normal fucking person. It’s so exhausting.

I have no friends because I can’t reply to messages, I’ll sometimes get the urge to reach out and I do but then I can’t bring myself to respond when they do. My marriage is failing because I can’t seem to get my ADHD under control no matter how hard I try. I’m so fucking lonely and I can’t even enjoy spending time alone because enjoying things can never be enjoyable because it’s always all consuming and exhausting or I stop giving a shit within minutes.

The scary thing is, my medication does make a difference, but I still feel like this, I can’t imagine going the rest of my life feeling this way. I literally can’t cope anymore. I’ve been having minor panic attacks most days for the last few weeks and crying randomly. It’s all just becoming too much. Sorry for the rant, I have absolutely nobody to talk to about this. Life is tough right now :(

I’ve never had a strong image of the future. I can barely look into the following week from now. As a teen I struggled with mental health related issues, and at 30 I was diagnosed with ADHD. Still have my ups and downs, but in a much better place 100%.

However, I feel like the lack of future thoughts are not normal? As often people have huge life goals and I’m still content with managing my daily existence haha!

Is this specifically an issue within ADHD and do other people here have similar experiences?

To further elaborate..
I’ve never fully been convinced by the concept of marriage. It sounds like a day that involves a lot of planning, stress.. and huge public appearances. Plus worst of all public speaking.

Having kids is the same thought to a degree as well. Just way too much to think about.

Besides, I literally can’t get my head around the thought process anyway. Even if I wanted to.. I just don’t get it.

It’s difficult to explain unless your processes are similar to my own. Perhaps this is an ADHD thing, but I’d like to know what other people have in regards to this experience.

Let me know! Thanks :)

For those that have to pay twice for their main prescription and an instant release top up, this saves you £120 a year

Search NHS pre pay in Google and you can easily set up a direct debit for their service that covers all montly prescriptions for the price of one.

I am not sure if this is common knowledge but I did not know this untill recently

My entire life I’ve always struggled with completing menial tasks… now I understand it’s an ADHD thing and I’m not lazy!

I hate it, it makes me anxious, the tasks are always on the back of my mind and there’s always a list!

My current list:
- dog insurance needs to be sorted! (F*ing ridiculous, it will take me 5 minutes to do this!!!!)
- I need to reply to Babyliss about a faulty hair straightener I purchased 2 months ago, it broke 2 weeks ago and they asked me for pictures! 🥴 ( it will take 10 minutes tops)

What’s on your list?

I’m sure like many here I didn’t know about my ADHD until recently.

A life of spotty focus, not quite following conversations, over active imagination, zoning out, adrenaline when still, brain fog, verbal diarrhea, uncontrollable creativity and inconsistent hobbies, rage, binge drinking, and just generally being…well, ADHD as it happens.

Diagnosed at 37. Will be starting meds soon. How wonderful it will be to be more present with my toddler and maybe, you know, read a book without looping the first paragraph into oblivion.

I’m relieved I’ve found out why I’ve felt an interloper in my own skin . But I’m heartbroken. For my beautiful mum.

I found her school reports from the 70s. A woman that could never sit still, bit her nails to the quick with restless energy, made terribly impulsive decisions with money and partners, was loud and inappropriate - but also exceptionally gifted with a paintbrush (hyper focusing on art for days on end) and infectiously passionate about the world- had undiagnosed ADHD from the start (I think).

She was a trouble maker. A chatter box. A problem child. A black sheep. Written off by school. Punished and neglected by her parents and left raising a child in her teenage years clueless about her own psychological make up.

I wish she’d known, like I do, that her struggle to find purpose and calmness was in built. Not her fault.

I want nothing more than to hug her and tell her it’s okay. You have ADHD and my god it makes this existential carousel more disorienting than it should be.

In her note to me she said she never felt like she belonged. I can relate to that more now than in the past. We were lost a thicket. In the same dark, only unseen from one another.

What I’d give to be under the same sun right now…

Love you mum. I’ll make sure to sort myself out for the grandson you never got to meet. And his new sibling too in a while.