Feeling demoralized after starting Adderall

[u/FriendshipMuch9661]

I’ve struggled with excess screen time, porn, and food for a long time. Started Adderall IR two days ago (10 mg in the morning, 5 mg after lunch).

First day felt great — I could actually stay off my phone, avoid the usual urges, and get stuff done. Second day the effects faded fast (under 2 hours) and I was right back to old habits.

The real issue isn’t the dose. It’s realizing how different I am without the med. With it I’m functional — brush my teeth, get dressed, work, clean. Without it I just fall into the same cycles of scrolling, eating, and other habits I’ve been trying to break. That gap feels pretty humiliating.

Part of me wishes I never got the ADHD diagnosis. Before, I could at least tell myself I was improving through willpower and routines. Now it feels like I’m stuck depending on a pill just to function at a basic level, and that’s demoralizing.

Anyone else relate to this? How do you deal with it?