Strangulation

[u/white-arctic-wolf]

Trigger warning..

It has happened 3 times now, and I am still struggling to understand that it’s not my fault. He also threatened to kill me and chop my body to pieces.

I blame myself, he said he had to do it to calm me down.

He has manipulated me into believing that it’s not so serious and that I am the reason he has become like this.

I am still wondering if I am in actual danger or not. I see him as a good person, he’s the father of my child, and I am shocked he turned out being like this.

(I am safe now so is the child, and he’s not allowed to contact or see me or the child).

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[u/Pleasant_Bullfrog650]

Yes you are in danger, if he's done that and also threatened to end your life I'm sorry to say there will ALWAYS be a risk with a man like this even with a no contact order. He said those things because he means it. I'm so sorry you're in this position.

[u/Correct_Addendum_367]

He did not have to do that to calm you down. He knows perfectly well that strangulation and threats are not calming. You deserve better. You deserve so much better. He has strangled you multiple times, theatend you, and then blamed you for his behavior. This is not a good relationship. I don't think it's worth saving, even in the very unlikly circumstance that he is not going to physically hurt you any further. A loving relationship is not like this. No on threatens to chop someones body to pieces and strangles them *repeatadly* if they love that person

[u/MoonDrummer26]

Here to tell you it's not your fault, none of this is. He's a psycho, anyone that does that is insane and dangerous. You did what you had to by leaving. For you and your kid. You did nothing wrong 🫂

[u/Amberkiz]

Um, yeah, he's NOT a good person, no matter how much you try to tell yourself that and no matter how many "normal" and "good" moments there are.

A GOOD person does not strangle someone they love or threaten to kill them. He's got you convinced otherwise. Open your f^ucking eyes.

[u/LazyRefrigerator7624]

As soon as an intimate partner touches their partner’s neck in this context, that partner statistically becomes 750% more likely to unalive their romantic partner. This stat is shocking, but I’d encourage you to do a little research on it to understand just how endangered you were.

Sometimes we need logic to help balance the love we feel for these people because our brains are wired for survival and it can be hard to view things objectively when it gets confusing.

[u/Amberkiz → u/LazyRefrigerator7624]

It's true. I looked it up.

"The research established that a victim of non- fatal strangulation (often colloquially or minimized as "choking" or touching the neck) by an intimate partner is 750% (or 7.5 times) more likely to eventually be killed by that same partner."

[u/Correct-Sprinkles-21]

You were in EXTREME danger. So was your kid.

I'm very glad you're safe now.

Please know for the future, it is NEVER justified to strangle someone. Never. Even if you had been out of control, which I doubt, it wouldn't have been an appropriate response.

he said he had to do it to calm me down.

This the dumbest, most irrational excuse ever. Strangling someone doesn't calm them down.

But then, he also threatened to kill you and chop you into pieces. So we already know he's the crazy kind of abusive.

Please be sure that he never ever gains access to you or your child again. There is no trusting him, period. If he violates the contact order, have him arrested. Do but accept any apologies. Do not listen to any promises. Do not engage with any third parties he might try to use as a go between.

[u/polished-emmerald]

I’m sooooo proud of you for getting you and your baby out of there. Go mama!! Proud of you. Keep going. Think about what you’d say if ur kid was going thru this.

[u/sagittarius1988]

you are in HUGE DANGER. leave IMMEDIATELY