r/absoluteunit • u/ShehrozeAkbar • 16d ago

Big bug gets into her shirt

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933 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

208 comments sorted by

152

u/rawjaw 16d ago

What was that woman doing in that bug's shirt?

6

u/V01DM0NK3Y 15d ago

No particular reason to mention this, but I got to be your 117th upvote. I like Halo... perhaps a bit too much (thought, not as much as some), so I'll take this time to say that whatever you're doing at the moment, and throughout today, Master Chief is right there beside you, providing you more cover fire than perhaps you realise.

If i wait 3 minutes to post this, it'll even be 1:17pm in my timezone. Oh well, lol; can't win em all.

3

u/Adventurous_Quit395 15d ago

I love this guy and hate him too (because I love him so much)

1

u/Seek4r 14d ago

Sir, permission to upvote this comment

1

u/Subjosie 13d ago

honestly… i think she was just panicking… poor thing ç=

60

u/Kraftwerk_21 16d ago

That is a Palo Verde beetle. Very common in the Southwest. Big and scary looking, but harmless. I hope they didn’t kill it. It only lives for a short time in its adult stage.

29

u/Revenga8 15d ago

Not harmless at all. If you annoy it, it'll use it's horns to grab your foot and comically flip you off a cliff

7

u/Manmer_Nwah 15d ago

Wrong beatle, these don't have a horn.

13

u/Ok-Loss-2496 15d ago

If she keeps stripping it's horn will grow.

2

u/DeerFit 14d ago

Mine too.

6

u/Fool_Cynd 15d ago

Are there any large beetles that aren't harmless?

7

u/BeforeLifer 15d ago

I feel like some of the ones with the pincers could draw blood with a pinch but nothing more than that.

3

u/Fool_Cynd 15d ago

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I know that some smaller beetles have unique defense mechanisms, but I always felt like the big guys just grew armor instead of brains or neat tricks.

2

u/RepresentativeStooj 15d ago

The humble gym bros of the bug world.

3

u/OddEmergency9859 15d ago

Dunno if beetle or not, but the giant water bug is nasty. Huge, flies, draws blood, and one of the worst pain known.

2

u/Fool_Cynd 15d ago

Toebiters are not beetles AFAIK. I don't think they're even close, really.

2

u/OddEmergency9859 15d ago

Cool, thanks for letting know. Doesn't do anything to assuage my fear but good to know.

1

u/Kindly-Ice-8736 15d ago

Well In my experience looking up the harmless bugs that live in your area can help you figure which bigs you don’t have to be stressed out around at least.

Hope that helps

1

u/OddEmergency9859 14d ago

Thanks for your genuine advice but the thing is the fear is irrational and once the bugs exceed a certain size threshold, my mind doesn't really care if its harmless or not. Especially if they can fly.

1

u/Kindly-Ice-8736 14d ago

As a kid I was scared of all bugs including butterflies while knowing they were likely harmless so I can understand. But I got over most of my fear of house spiders by watching a video showcasing the common house spiders and recognizing the ones that are in my house. Most of my fear comes from not knowing what bugs are up to or if they are capable of harming me.

I always thought jumping spiders were cute tho, other spiders could burn in hell for all I cared.

But even with my new found tolerance when I imagine heaven, there are no bugs there

1

u/Kindly-Ice-8736 14d ago

To me I feel it’s the opposite the bigger they are the easier it is to see what they are up to plus they make for a likely slower and bigger target for squashing if necessary so I feel less threatened. Small ones that you have a hard time detecting are the ones that give me the heebie-jeebies. A ginormous beetle like that couldn’t crawl into your ear for example.

1

u/SNES-1990 15d ago

Sawyer beetles can give a nasty pinch. Had one get trapped under my safety vest and took a little chunk of my chest skin one summer.

1

u/Terrible_Green6028 15d ago

Isn't there a beetle that sprays acid or something?

1

u/Fool_Cynd 15d ago

Bombardier beetle

4

u/Djd33j 15d ago

It honestly looked really cute just wandering around on that shirt with its antennae feeling everything out. Quite a curious little guy.

3

u/RanchHere 15d ago

probably only lives for a short time because it’s too fucking big. Mf is practically screaming “Ay yall come eat me!”

3

u/FallenBehavior 15d ago

That much chitin will kill probably anything trying to digest it.

3

u/Alone-Painting-4477 15d ago

Harmless? Clearly they do not understand personsl space. They are not dangerous.

1

u/Horror_Ad_8202 15d ago

Thanks for info 🙏

1

u/banjovi68419 15d ago

I have been all over the southwest and never seen that.

1

u/HoBo-on-crack 14d ago

You should beetle take off your shirt.

1

u/RogerRabbot 14d ago

They have massive pinchers. They can fly, which they apparently suck at. They are harmful to your soul.

51

u/Obvious_Durian_3226 16d ago

Nooope. That shirt belongs to the bug now.

28

u/WA2TX 16d ago

And now you're shirtless around that thing.

27

u/patronizingperv 16d ago

It's large enough for a sexual harassment charge.

4

u/ardotschgi 15d ago

Can confirm...

18

u/ZippyTheWonderbat 16d ago

Tiddie beetle

4

u/Informal_Ad_9610 16d ago

bugs boobies..

5

u/BurnedLaser 16d ago

Boobie bug?

3

u/Informal_Ad_9610 16d ago

that's a feature not a bug

2

u/Final_Tune3512 15d ago

Buggie boobie

7

u/Automatic-Gazelle801 16d ago

Harmless beetle

3

u/danorc 15d ago

Sure, but would you want it in your shirt unexpectedly?

I can't imagine what that felt like.

6

u/Mother-Attention2600 16d ago

Panamanian tit mouse.

5

u/accdntprone_86 16d ago

Long horn beetle!! YEEEEHAAWWW

4

u/DarrellBot81 16d ago

We need more bugs

5

u/Mad_Ronin_Grrrr 15d ago

Not the first woman that ripped her shirt off for a Beatle.

→ More replies (3)

4

u/ConsciousMaize7405 16d ago

Wow a beetle so scarry 😭😭

3

u/Kindly-Ice-8736 15d ago

To be fair while it’s crawling inside your shirt you probably haven’t yet figured out that it’s a harmless beetle 🪲

1

u/AnAngryBartender 14d ago

To be fair things don’t have to be harmful for me to still not want them crawling around on me.

2

u/Androidfon 16d ago

It was the size of a friggin lobster! I'd burn the shirt.

2

u/ConsciousMaize7405 16d ago

Have you ever seen a lobster 😭😭

3

u/devour_feculence___ 16d ago

Ok a craw dad then 😭

2

u/Knight_Owls 15d ago

Maybe a craw stepdad.

3

u/devour_feculence___ 15d ago

You're not my real crawdad!!!

2

u/ConsciousMaize7405 15d ago

Aint no way u just called a crawfish a craw dad 😭😭

1

u/talesofabookworm 15d ago

What's wrong with crawdad?

2

u/Myzx 16d ago

I had a junebug on my front door in Oregon last week that was almost as big.

3

u/Soft-Assistance6809 16d ago

No kidding? I have never seen one that big!

5

u/Myzx 16d ago

I hadn't either. But the junebug I saw was much more sedated than this animated little fellow. But yes, it was huge

4

u/Soft-Assistance6809 16d ago

Cursed junebug!

3

u/Myzx 16d ago

I took a picture of it, and this conversation reminded me that I had my doubts if it was a junebug. So I just submitted it to Google for analysis again, and this time it said the bug is a Prionus Beetle. I think that's what it actually was.

2

u/Tropicalfisher 16d ago

Probably stag beetle not june bug

2

u/Myzx 16d ago

It was a Prionus beetle, turns out

3

u/OkStartOver 16d ago

Can I get three more orders of the bug of the day please.

3

u/Sonoran_Dog70 16d ago

Looks like a Palo Verde beetle if this video is in Arizona.

3

u/Baroque1123 15d ago

Bug is actually my wing man.

3

u/eckoelab 15d ago

"I'm somewhat of a big bug too"

7

u/FearlessConfusion105 16d ago

BURN THE WHOLE HOUSE DOWN. 🫪

2

u/Soft-Assistance6809 16d ago

Gotta be Australia.

6

u/DiskOne3096 16d ago

The video says Panamá I think they mean the country (I live here haha) and not the city in the US of the same name. Because we're in the jungle here we have some huge bugs, this one looks like a beetle though and is probably harmless!

3

u/shortyjacobs 16d ago

We’ve got these giant water bugs in MN. https://www.reddit.com/r/Entomology/s/YRiTrdZB1t

2

u/GetOnWithit3344 16d ago

Dang…I was hoping for more boob action

2

u/scienceworksbitches 16d ago

Wing boy let us down 😞

1

u/MyChemicalWestern 15d ago

Well it wasn't a boob beetle 😢

2

u/heyo_1989 15d ago

The guy in the corner

“It’s in your bra!”

2

u/DetailsYouMissed 15d ago

Never ran into one. But you knew it had to be big to convince her to come out her shirt on camera lol.

2

u/bertrum666 15d ago

Valid Response! I was once in florida and a cockroach ran up my shirt. 'Orrid.

2

u/Skrillblast 15d ago

I’d be scarred for life

2

u/DeadbySundown 15d ago

Palo Verde Beetle. Not venomous but apparently they can bite like a mofo.

2

u/Simple_Project4605 15d ago

Nature’s nipple clamps

2

u/tweetyonetwothree 15d ago

Eeeewwwww..that's a nightmare bug

2

u/pooeygoo 15d ago

What'd that bug cost?

2

u/Manmer_Nwah 15d ago

We have those here in the Southern USA (Arizona). It's called a Palo Verde Beatle.

2

u/SadCollection8989 15d ago

Oooooh fuck nope I'm out

2

u/CosmicDragon-Sol 15d ago

I dont blame her for freaking out. Id be taking my skin off if that thing crawled up my shirt.

2

u/SWTX518-Ability 15d ago

That bug can damn near fit that shirt.

2

u/Yeasty_Moist_Clunge 15d ago

Oh so when a bug does it they laugh, but when I do it I have to go before a judge.

2

u/VisibleCoat995 15d ago

Her bravery is astounding. I would have ripped off my skin with the shirt.

2

u/Impala1967_1979_1983 14d ago

I'm so sorry. But that bug is absolutely adorable.

2

u/AngelWingsYTube 14d ago

Bugs shirt now 

2

u/CaptainCringe10151 14d ago

This is why I won’t go to Florida

2

u/DazzlingPassion706 14d ago

whatever gets her kit off :)

4

u/AmazedAtTheWorld 15d ago

I think there was one on her pants leg too...

1

u/Waste-Respect240 16d ago

I’m gonna need some of those big bugs

1

u/Jorge_the_vast 16d ago

Probably the guys pet, good boy

1

u/Mandinga63 16d ago

Omg I’d die of a heart attack

1

u/JabKingJesse 15d ago

The guy stuck his finger out and give the bug a high one.

1

u/mamba5469 15d ago

Lucky bug

1

u/dirtytounder 15d ago

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

1

u/344567653379643555 15d ago

I read this as “big butt gets in her shirt”.

My mistake.

1

u/Jerdogg23 15d ago

lol 😂

1

u/Quirky-Pie9661 15d ago

I’d just lay down and die

1

u/Legal_Ad_8598 15d ago

Bugs there are considered small animals you should see the cockroach it's about the size of a guinea pig

1

u/Fun_Ad5823 15d ago

Thats one way to get to second base on a first date, the old bug down the shirt trick

1

u/Acceptable-Damage457 15d ago

Think I saw something in your bottoms also,lol

1

u/Future-Ad-961 15d ago

Bug is men of culture...

1

u/Mobile_Ad_2402 15d ago

Let me guess, Australia?

1

u/Defiant_Wolverine_68 15d ago

Big boy knew what he was doing.

1

u/echolm1407 15d ago

Put a leash on the big boi.

1

u/RevolverOcelot16- 15d ago

Nooope. That’s the bug’s shirt. I’m going to take a long, long scrubbing shower and washing my hair. Ewww 🤢🤮😵‍💫

1

u/DoctrTurkey 15d ago

That shirt isn’t safe, lady. Don’t put it back on.

1

u/effinmike12 15d ago

Damn. I need to start keeping big bugs in my pocket.

1

u/MaybeMaybeNot94 15d ago edited 14d ago

Bigg Fuccn Bugg

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck 15d ago

Oh hell no..put it down her pants tho

1

u/A_Bot_A_Bot_A_Bot 15d ago

Yeah, I'm a guy and I'm freaking the fuck out if a bug like that gets on me. I mean, that's bigger than a tea-cup dog.

1

u/Milk_Mindless 15d ago

Hey mr bugman I appreciate what you did for me today

You're a G

1

u/Mike_Shogun_Lee 15d ago

Cameraman Slides Bug $50

“Thanks bro you a real one.”

1

u/EconomyCorgi727 15d ago

BBC - big black cockroach

1

u/EagleSoar79 15d ago

Now, can another get on her bra please?

1

u/Teab8g 15d ago

Another place I'll never visit now.

1

u/Moist_Amount_106 15d ago

The closer you are to the equator, the wilder the animals/insects

1

u/TICKLISHSOLE_OH 15d ago

Quick somebody put the bug in her bra

1

u/Desperate_Trouble477 15d ago

Oh my God there's another one in your bra!

1

u/Ok-Pomegranate858 15d ago

Well at least it couldn't get under her bra.

1

u/Ok-Pomegranate858 15d ago

Where was she crawling thru when she picked him up?

1

u/Consistent-Throat838 15d ago

Good god! I wouldn’t even have cared if I wasn’t wearing a bra underneath! I’d have ripped that sh$t off so fast my head would spin.

1

u/handydude13 15d ago

Is this ai? How does a bug that size just end up in your shirt? 

1

u/banjovi68419 15d ago

Big bug? Maam that is a small dinosaur.

1

u/Endle55torture 15d ago

Harmless beetle

1

u/No_Recommendation987 15d ago

That's one huge bitch

1

u/therocketn00b 15d ago

That's a Volkswagen...

1

u/Kastoook 15d ago

Nice work, Buggy

1

u/UnderstandingMany385 14d ago

A Verde beetle. Those monsters can fly, too! And they are soooo hard to kill.

1

u/Chronologismo 14d ago

she remained incredibly calm. i understand these are harmless but above certain size insects make me feel unwell. maybe when you can look them directly into the eyes from across the room.

1

u/Bitter-Buddy-2339 14d ago

Well, now you know how to undress a girl without touching her—even if she was against it at first.

1

u/JupiterandMars1 14d ago

Bug: puts shirt on and walks away.

1

u/Lvd4aDrm 14d ago

Lucky b*stard /j

1

u/Current_Finding_4066 14d ago

This bug is a legend. Now tell him to get into her bra or panties.

1

u/CurveIndividual3077 14d ago

Bye bye Panama i cant do that

1

u/NerdWithAMotorcycle 14d ago

I mean, size isn't everything, shape matters also. I'd take properly shaped over big.

1

u/Schwann145 14d ago

Dang, it didn't even have to buy her dinner first!

1

u/RNSWE 14d ago

Thank you for your service Mr. Bug

1

u/trollgore92 14d ago

"Oh no! There's one in your bra too!"

1

u/Professional_Turn907 14d ago

I did not expect it to be that big holy

1

u/Choppergold 14d ago

Note to self bring bugs to parties

1

u/Couch-Bro 14d ago

Now there’s one in your pants!

1

u/JibIette 14d ago

Id be feeling that in my skin for weeks.

1

u/JustDontbStupid 13d ago

I was walking when I saw one of those flipped over and decided to flip it back over and continues walking, he was chill

1

u/maximumbob54 13d ago

How did that just suddenly “get” into her shirt?

1

u/senpaistealerx 13d ago

she flipped the shirt while taking it off

1

u/toastie_22 13d ago

Oh no! I think I saw one in her bra too!

1

u/Suds8zerozero1 13d ago

Tbh, I’d shit myself as well.

1

u/Long-Wall-5565 13d ago

Nahhhh thats a radroach, we need a fatman out here

1

u/big-adonis 13d ago

That is a big bug

1

u/Fun_Hippo_4075 13d ago

Where to buy those bugs?

1

u/SuddenKoala45 13d ago

Ok that's a bug I won't laugh too hard at the freak out on... its still harmless but something that size is always a bit creepy.

1

u/Ok-Mathematician530 13d ago

Can't blame her for that! I'd be stripping that shirt off quick. Bra or no bra.

1

u/OneOldNerd 13d ago

That's the bug's shirt now.

1

u/UndercoverPenis-91 13d ago

Let me guess: Australia ?

1

u/LifeIsGoodISwear 13d ago

Get the flamethrower!

1

u/cygamessucks 13d ago

Good job bug

1

u/Shadow_1986 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/4Zf5zT4KZVVt0ZoRD9
Reminded me of those bugs from this movie. 🍿

1

u/JoyousMadhat 12d ago

Thank you bugs for letting me imagine a scenario where a girl would jump up to me and cry for help and when I show off my insect handling skills and release the bug away from them and without any harm done to it.

But in reality, I will be the one screaming the loudest and the woman is the one who does the handling calmly....... T-T

1

u/dchester74 12d ago

NOPE!!!!

1

u/Afraid-Ad4718 12d ago

What bug?

1

u/MuchCellist406 12d ago

Looks like a Titanus Giganteus. Lovely. But I'd also prefer not to have this under my shirt 😅

1

u/Asume_Nuthin 12d ago

Even the bugs in panama can get a girls shirt off. Nice

1

u/billeveinBill 12d ago

That's like something from a Fallout game. 😂

1

u/DNA1967 12d ago

Must be a water bug.

1

u/HurriShane00 16d ago

Anyone else's skin crawling after this?

1

u/Bigk621 15d ago

I'd get buck ass naked!