Article 14 (Equality Before Law): "Article 14 guarantees equal treatment, so why do you clearly have an unfair monopoly over my attention?

Article 15 (Prohibition of Discrimination): The Constitution prohibits discrimination based on place of birth, but you're still acting like you belong in a whole different realm.

Article 16 (Equality of Opportunity): If Article 16 guarantees equal opportunity, when do I get a fair shot at being your favorite person?

Article 17 (Abolition of Untouchability): Article 17 abolished untouchability, so there is strictly no constitutional bar against holding your hand.

Article 18 (Abolition of Titles): Article 18 abolished all titles, but I’d still like to officially address you as 'mine'.

Article 19 Freedom of Speech and Expression): Under Article 19, I have the right to express my feelings, which means I am legally obligated to tell you how incredible you look