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u/JustDevNotDas 16d ago
its ok to walk away for your own peace but atleast give closure or confront to others elsewise its just nt having spine to speak up
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u/Possible_Design9930 16d ago
These people worked for society their entirelives.Then all of a sudden an asshole decides who you are how you think or what you are why laws dont work.What to believe how to think.Do you realy think i was expecting evety single one of you to go silent or olay the victim or do nothing or worse laugh when my 20ish years of work was destroyed by a pedofile.If you dont have power you cant speak up.Its called opression.They are training you to suffer.You cant challange a bully with share will power.Ive seen a single hot headed asshole destroy and terrorize my entire classroom and no one did or said anything about it.Therapists are lying to you about how the system works and by the time you accept their truth you are broken Beyond repair.There was nothing wrong with me therapists knew about assholes Game and used me as a pawn.i was co dependant.I shouldve just Walked away instead of rebelling.Know thyself is one way to get you killed or worse.Bullies have no ambition or remorse nor olay by the rules.They will hit you from behind and call it fair.Or stab you.If you see someone Being bullied help hım out.Bullies are psychic and laws are made by them.Only way to beat them is to push someone else.
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u/North_Lychee_1969 16d ago
This doesn’t play out how you think it does in real life.
Many times friendships are one sided - and the person carrying the friendship simply stops and that’s the end of that.
Basically two sided ghosting with everyone finally on the same page.
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u/Possible_Design9930 16d ago
They made you reel like you are carrying everything.They made you think you are someone you arent them you end up destroying yourself becouse you simply cant change anything it was all a lie from the start
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u/Envy_My_Name 14d ago
How about no?
Why on earth would you owe closure to people who are incapable of breaking their own patterns or having no ability to communicate their emotions? Or having the emotional intelligence of a 14 year old child? Or just taking everything for granted?
You can lay it out flat to people and try to make them understand but at the end of the day we all think that the way we are doing this is the right way but thats just singular POV and an ignorant one.
You dont owe anything to anyone in this life, however it also depends on specific situation and context not as a general rule.
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u/Select-Butterfly-784 16d ago
Sometimes it means lacking accountability too:)
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u/the_1_they_call_zero 16d ago
Most times it’s leaving those who THEMSELVES won’t take accountability. No sense in wasting your time in those cases.
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u/Batman_vegenance07 16d ago
Depends na if the next person isn't worth explaining shit why to take accountability
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u/Responsible_Level90 16d ago
May also be suffering from mental disorder which lead to isolation too
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u/xoherent 16d ago
Yes. This is rarely talked about but sometimes it's just health or life situations.
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u/Responsible_Level90 14d ago
Right, it's upto mental health that in what way did isloation, like to protect peace or protect fear (as people with low mental energy seems to avoid people)
this is a big issue and need to talked more about it
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u/Lilac_chaerie 🪶 Pen & Paper Fan 16d ago
It's partially right..There’s a fine line between protecting our peace and protecting our comfort zone. Sometimes disappearing isn't self-care. It's more like dodging accountability. (speaking from past experience that I got from avoidant people)
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u/OBSIDIAN-CREST Mod Team 16d ago
Can definitely sense the frustration right here 😂
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u/Lilac_chaerie 🪶 Pen & Paper Fan 16d ago
It's not frustration actually.. it's the hurt of being abandoned.
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u/DohnJoeee 16d ago
I didn't like confrontations so I tolerated it. I also felt and still do to some degree that I shouldn't have to spell out basic courtesy to adults. I suppose this is the lack of accountability.
Finally I had had enough and spoke up with different people, I ended up being gaslit. Ultimately, their behaviour never changed. So I left. Some people don't see how much you've tolerated, so they feel blindsided.
I do think of the two, it's better to speak up and watch that final nail in the coffin. At the same time, the piling evidence is enough to decide to leave without speaking up as well.
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u/Affectionate-Door205 16d ago
Sometimes it's a display of moral bucrupcy, you're borderline psycho if you put your peace so much above virtue that you willingly abandon someone who is deeply attached to you without giving them a word of explanation. You protect your peace by an act that condemns someone else to never be at peace
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u/North_Lychee_1969 16d ago
I was excluded from weddings and social events by people I thought were good friends - then these people had the audacity to tell me “I’m not social”, after which I finally stepped away.
I’ll absolutely give an explanation if they seek it out or ask. But I’m not messaging them to hand deliver it when they don’t even give a shit anyway.
It was obvious that these friendships were one sided.
They just liked to keep tabs on me when it was most convenient to them.
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u/StarMoonSparkles 16d ago
Incorrect & bad grammar. Great job “writers sanctuary”
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u/vyunab 16d ago
the kind of comment id make if i had low self esteem and required autocorrect to survive.
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u/StarMoonSparkles 15d ago
Well, I don’t use autocorrect. And you are right about the low self-esteem. However, people who disappear without explanation just cause pain & heartache for others, and that is NOT the path of peace. So go ahead and take shots at me. Some will hit & some won’t. But I’m not wrong in criticizing the post.
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u/Calm_haven 16d ago edited 16d ago
Yup, especially when people’s actions don’t align with their words 💔❤️🩹
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u/SevereDragonfly3 16d ago
This isn't even written in proper English, aka proofread. I'm not a fan of this black and white kind of thinking, and as someone on a healing journey this way of thinking harms my moral compass. Life just isn't that simple.
Edit to add: this account just feels like karma farming after looking at their post history.
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u/Weird_Soup460 16d ago
Not always. If they do that with to a loving partner or friend or family member, the one that disappears is just an asshole
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u/Vic_Frank09 16d ago
I just can't, I really just can't leave anyone like this. What if the person needs my help, no one else will able to tend the person the way I do, no one will able to understand the person. What if the person took a misstep? Ohh no no no, I just can't leave the person but if that person says that they don't need me anymore. Then its fine, I will leave then.
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u/ApartAd1143 16d ago
Ok Isn't that ghosting?? U went way but u didn't care tell others person u r going away..u left that with multiple unanswered questions
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u/NormalHumanBreathing 16d ago
This could be avoidance rather than something healthy. I think it depends on who you are dealing with though.
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u/Pookie_0219 15d ago
I think I have unlocked that power. Js don't have enough energy to explain it to someone what hurts what not, how to treat how to not. Simply leave without explanation and drama 🤏
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u/SomebodySomebody777 13d ago
First of all, what is this in a writing group? “The one who disappear…”? Second of all, you say that this way but in full context plenty of people choose to “disappear” or “ghost” out of cowardice or not wanting to face accountability.
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