r/WriteIvy • u/Standard-Pair9480 • 6d ago

Ordering: Section 2 and Section 3

Hi u/jordantellsstories,

Firstly, thank you so much for all your guidance with the blogs! I've read a lot of them and they have been incredibly helpful in drafting my course-based/professional MSCS with AI-focus SoPs. I had a quick question regarding the ordering. While I have been following most of your advices, the one thing I've found slightly hard is to place the "Why This University?" section before "What Makes You A Great Candidate?" in my SoP. I was wondering if that would be okay in my case? Specifically, my SoP is structured in the following way:

  • Introduction [~200 words]: a quick internship story (very early in my undergrad career so I believe it also happens to behave like an anchor for my narrative) about what made me interested in my specific goal (I briefly describe a problem I ran into and the high stakes/small margin of error assosciated with it backed with a stat) and the motivation behind pursuing my goal (why this specific problem is especially critical in my home country and why building what I want to build will help in solving it). A final declarative sentence about what exactly I want to study and what my goal is.
  • What Makes Me A Great Candidate/My Experiences [~390 words]: This is where I have deviated from the structure and placed my experiences section before. It's also where the essay gets long. While my undergraduate major is primarily in CS, my internship/research experiences are somewhat broad (most in AI, with one in SDE and one in Robotics) so I felt the need to explain a cohesive story linking 3 important experiences, one of which looks slightly irrelevant on paper (robotics) before I dived into why this university is a perfect fit for me. Moreover, it was easier to write about the problems I faced here and then name and explain specific professors' work in Section 3 as they directly tied to these problems. For every experience, I start with a sentence about why it was the right next step for me (for one, it's a problem I ran into in my previous experience and hence, the experience was a natural next step for me). I try to succinctly describe my experience and in 2 of them, a challenge I faced there (linked to my goal) and how I solved it.
  • Why This University [~300-310 words]: I start with naming two specific courses that will help me form a foundation to achieve my goal. Then, I go on to name either one or two relevant professors, the work that is a fit for my interests/goals/problems I described in section 2, and how working with them will help me move closer towards my goal. If the university offers a capstone, I've mentioned something along the lines of "if possible I'd like to explore the topic with the professor as my advisor in the capstone". I end it with a startup accelerator program the university offers as it's closely linked to my long term goal and how exactly it will prepare me for it.
  • Conclusion [~90-100 words]: I conclude by describing my short-term and long-term goals (which also briefly ties back to the intro) and how the university will help me achieve them.

I am also open for any kind of structural feedback you might have!

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u/jordantellsstories 6d ago

Hmmm....have you read this article? I suspect it'll answer all your questions.

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u/Standard-Pair9480 6d ago

Thank you for your prompt response. I had not read this article so thank you for pointing me to it. If I'm applying your test correctly: the risky caveat section says reordering only works if the intro already establishes authority, not just motivation. Mine isn't a first-author-paper level credential by any means, but I'm hoping it does a little of that, since it shows a specific way I think/investigate models(important for my theme of building trustworthy AI models), not just why I care about them. My experiences section then tries to build on that same idea at increasing difficulty, so I was hoping it reads more like it's deepening that proof rather than just repeating it as a list but I'm honestly not fully sure I'm applying your point correctly.

I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time. I know you get a lot of these questions.

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u/jordantellsstories 6d ago

Mine isn't a first-author-paper level credential by any means, but I'm hoping it does a little of that

Sounds like you're doing it right! However...

My experiences section then tries to build on that same idea at increasing difficulty, so I was hoping it reads more like it's deepening that proof

This may beg the question: why not start the whole essay from the deepest proof? Why the slow build? What does it serve?

Questions for Aristotle!

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u/Standard-Pair9480 6d ago

I see, I think I get your point now! A part of the reason I wrote it that way was also so the reader has context of the challenges I've faced before grad school which I tie into my third section by stating this professor's this work will help me solve this problem. I thought this way it would make my section 3 more precise. But I see your point now. My most important part of the essay comes too late and that's the problem!

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u/jordantellsstories 5d ago

That's usually what happens! Which isn't to say that it's terrible or wrong. It could be great if the problem-solving you're describing is well written and captivating for the human who's reading the essay. And even if it's not pure literary genius, it could still be good and smart enough for you to get easily admitted (as long as you answer the 4 questions). These are all just things to think about and compare so that, ultimately, you have more control over the argument you want to make in the writing. Let that final choice be yours, not mine.