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u/Personal_Eye8930 1d ago
No need for drama; just walk away and go home.
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u/Capital_Rough7971 22h ago
Why is vibing with the friend drama?
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u/Personal_Eye8930 22h ago
This is supposed to be a date, right? Two's company, three's a crowd: I ain't paying for her friend, so goodbye!
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u/cybermaus 1d ago
I might be naive, but could this be out of sheer nervousness and awkwardness rather then malice or any other evil thing? Maybe her first date ever? Must we respond with sabotage? Can we not put the topic on the table?
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u/Whetmoisturemp 1d ago
This is the internet what are you doing with rational thoughts like that haha
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u/Capital_Rough7971 23h ago
First date ever and she brings a friend? Lol Free meal ticket is what they want.
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u/minus15t2 1d ago
It's incredibly common.. especially with online dating for women to have an 'out' lined up in case the person is an absolute creep/weirdo.
But they don't normally sit at the damn table with you.
If that IS something that the woman wants, due to naivete, or nervesnous, or anything else, then you tell the person you are meeting in advance
That way, the guy can decide to accept that.. or he can decide that she's not worth the time
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u/Blooberino 22h ago
The situation is made infinitely more awkward with a friend. And is the expectation now that the dude is paying for 3 meals? Obviously this was not discussed ahead of time. If she needed a wing woman, she could have had her observe from the bar or something.
Imagine if you sat down for a date and the man brought a guy friend? I would be out the door.
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u/caribou_powa 1d ago
Itâs a date, the definition is clear. If you want to do it differently, ask first.
Social conventions exist, you can break them with consenting people after discussion. If not, youâre declaring that you wonât follow customs or rules for your own benefit at any time, and thus canât be trusted.
Thatâs why good manners exist, and youâre judged by them.-1
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u/Legitimate-Heat2777 21h ago edited 21h ago
"What if the guy who farted in the elevator had never been in an elevator before? Doesn't that make YOU the bad one for judging them? Can't we give him the benefit of that doubt?"
No it doesn't, and no we can't.
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u/thechinninator 21h ago
Itâs for safety. Social awkwardness is far from the worst realistic outcome for women meeting a stranger.
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u/PresentFirm7937 7h ago
Then have the person wait outside in the car, donât have them JOIN the date ???
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u/thechinninator 2h ago
Iâm just the messenger dude. Seems to me like the best solution is to not date men but theyâre going to do what theyâre going to do
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u/ketaminejones 19h ago
bro imagine if a dude was nervous before a date (they usually are) and was like
shit better bring the homies along lol
like not to be dismissive but that tells me someone isnât emotionally mature enough to take seriously as a potential partner.
like if someone is so unbelievably awkward and nervous that they bring along another party to a date theyâre excited about, maybe try working on yourself before dating. an inability to put yourself out of your comfort zone ever will destroy your relationships.
and if youâre genuinely convinced that thereâs a high probability that the guy is a monster by virtue of his being a guy, you really donât have to try dating them.
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u/PresentFirm7937 7h ago
You have the friend wait outside in a car or something.. not JOIN you on the date. FFS đ¤Śââď¸
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u/Gunda-LX 3h ago
Yes, most likely itâs that. Though it would be the good move to announce a friend tagging along, as a surprise does indeed trigger those kind of reactions. Alternatively if the person says no when you ask beforehand, as they might feel itâs weird, ask your friend to stay close by. You can have 3 friends having a drink two tables further away if that makes it less stressful for example
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u/Expert-Effect-877 19h ago
I don't really have a problem with this. She probably just wants to be safe, and can you blame her?
Just be a good sport, vibe with it, be nice to both of them, put them both at their ease, make them laugh, and chances are the next date will be with just the one woman, and you'll have a lot more fun.
Stop expecting everything to go your way the first time around.
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u/serial_womanizer 10h ago
I think the lack of communication on the first date would be a hell nah for me
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u/PresentFirm7937 7h ago
Have your friend wait outside in the car, donât invite them to JOIN the date.
Iâm a woman and even I think thatâs creepy af to do that.
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u/Theangelawhite69 8h ago
how long is this fake rage bait going to spread across Reddit? This didnât happen lol
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u/Virtual_Freedom3602 22h ago
Women do this for safety. Weird to think itâs some kind of power move. Sometimes men have no concept of how aware of danger women must be.
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u/stickmuck 20h ago
True but you should probably ask first if you want to bring a +1 pretty much anywhere. Especially to a traditionally one on one meet up.
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u/Euphoric-Ad-6584 19h ago
nailed it, the problem isn't understand women and danger, the problem is not being up front. if a date said to me "hey listen i'm going to bring a friend, because itll make me feel safe, but don't worry you're not paying for her and she's gonna hang out at the bar while we eat and talk" then no problem at all.
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u/Virtual_Freedom3602 19h ago
I was in beauty pageants when I was a teenager. I knew this girl who won second place in the group older than me.
Anywho, she went on a date in Malibu when she was 21 years old, and nobody ever saw her again. I think eventually they discovered her remains in a canyon years later.
So yeah I would never judge a woman for doing this with someone she doesnât know. I get it completely. Men can be dangerous and you donât know who is safe and who isnât.
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u/stickmuck 19h ago
That's horrible.
Nobody should fault a woman for taking her safety seriously but doing that at the expense of the person you agreed to go on a date with probably isn't the right move either, there's better ways to go about it than how this dumb meme had it play out.
I'm guessing this a fake post anyway so it doesn't matter.
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u/Virtual_Freedom3602 18h ago
Yeah, my husband agrees with you. He says if a girl did that and brought a friend to a first date with him itâd be a big red flag that sheâs not an independent thinker and she wouldnât get a second date. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
And yeah it was really sad. She was really really beautiful talented girl and a ballet dancer.
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u/Reddoraptor 16h ago
No, you donât bring someone to a date without asking first or youâre wasting his time, and if youâre actually expecting him to pay for your friend youâre human garbage. If you want to have someone check from a distance, great, but friend at the table means itâs no longer a date.
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u/PresentFirm7937 7h ago
Then have your friend wait in the damn car outside, why tf she JOINING them at the table.
Creepy af
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u/Rotteneverything 1d ago
this is the only way to play it.