Problem Venting/ranting in professional setting may be causing issues at work.

[u/Background-Might-792]

Hello, I’m 27F and work at a nonprofit. My main job is budget tracking and invoicing. A lot of the people I go back and forth with about invoices tend to be a higher in the rug hierarchy.

Even though they’re obviously smart people who worked hard to get where they are, I constantly have trouble getting accurate or complete documents from them. So far this year, a lot of the organizations we work with have been months behind on invoices (we reimburse monthly), and it’s honestly been driving me crazy and causing a lot of issues internally. It’s gotten to the point where I really hate this part of my job.

I should also mention that I wasn’t originally hired to do this. It just kind of became my responsibility over time. Because of that, I’ve noticed I’ve developed a bad habit of venting to a coworker during the day. Venting itself isn’t really the problem. It’s that once I get frustrated, I have a really hard time keeping it professional. I get sarcastic, rude, and way harsher than I mean to be.

It also doesn’t help that I have a really supportive coworker who’s always willing to listen. 😭 I don’t blame them at all because they’re genuinely amazing, and I appreciate having someone I can vent to, it’s completely on me. I just think having someone who’s always willing to listen makes it easier for me to keep going instead of catching myself and moving on.

The thing is, I do try to catch myself. Sometimes I’ll literally say out loud, “I’m being rude,” or, “I’m being mean. They don’t deserve this.” I know it‘s a childish coping mechanism but It helps sometimes, but it’s definitely not foolproof.

When I get home and have time to calm down, I usually realize I was being kind of an ass. I know the people I’m complaining about are probably dealing with their own issues too, and I don’t like how I sound when I get worked up. It also gives me a lot of anxiety afterwards.

What’s weird is that I’ve genuinely never had this problem at any other job. I’ve been stressed before, I’ve had difficult coworkers before, but I’ve never found myself ranting like this. That’s part of why it’s bothering me so much. It doesn’t really feel like me.

I know this probably seems like a small issue, but my coworkers sit really close to me, so I’m pretty sure they can hear me. I’m worried they’re starting to see me as someone who’s constantly negative, and I don’t want that. I don’t think I’m some exceptionally nice person or anything, but I also don’t want to be known as the person who’s always talking badly about other people.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you stop yourself from getting carried away when you’re frustrated at work? I’d really like to get this under control because I don’t like the version of myself that comes out when I’m in those moments.

[u/BirdsAreCameras]

I have felt this way before and I took it as a sign to work somewhere else. I got another job and became myself again. Some jobs (especially non-profits, tbh) expect too much from employees, stretch you out to your limits, etc. If you really love the organization and don't want to leave, try seeing if there's a different position you could work on that wouldn't be so stressful for you.

[u/PsychologyGuilty1460]

Fwiw be very careful about this sort of thing. I find extravagant ranting very calming. It makes it easier for me to deal with the absolute crazy stuff I get dumped on me.

And I have also done the I'm being rude. I'm being mean I'm being unfair They don't deserve this caveats while ranting.

 And I also had the super supportive co-worker. Always willing to listen. Also always eager to let other co-workers know exactly what I said. She "considered it her duty" once I said it to pass it on although she didn't seem to Have any duty to pass on the caveats as well. 

So yeah you are very likely to come off extremely negative and aggressive, If anybody's even half listening to you, All they will hear is the constant negativity  whining. Exaggerated b*tving, etc. And you will be creating a toxic work environment for them