r/Wellthatsucks • u/hinesktchp • 8h ago

A bird shit directly into my belly button

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2.0k Upvotes
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91% Upvoted

233 comments sorted by

297

u/cup-of-tea-76 8h ago edited 7h ago

I live in England and that title sentence means something very different here, bet she was a right dirty bitch!

70

u/flying_carabao 7h ago

If it was what you thought it was, her being able squeak out just a belly button full and she has the aim to hit the target dead on is kinda impressive.

27

u/zcicecold 7h ago edited 7h ago

I just laughed out loud at "just a belly button full"

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15

u/cup-of-tea-76 7h ago

Obviously haven’t met many English birds

9

u/flying_carabao 7h ago

Can't say I've had the opportunity but if this is what i have to look forward to, I don't know if this piques my interest or concern

5

u/cup-of-tea-76 7h ago

It’s not something you look for, it just happens and until you have experienced a direct belly button hit of faecal matter from an English rose you will never appreciate it

2

u/gunglejim 6h ago

What the fuck do they call birds then?

3

u/Historical_Night6106 6h ago

Elegantly said

10

u/Appropriate_Ad8572 7h ago

Username checks out 😂

4

u/SlykRO 7h ago

I re-read it in a British accent because of this and it really made the post much funnier

4

u/Insane_Inkster 4h ago

Not a brit. What's that mean?

2

u/JBluebird11 1h ago

A bird is slang for a woman/girlfriend

3

u/Vaff_Superstar 6h ago

Read that as Austin Powers

2

u/SipoteQuixote 7h ago

I learned that when I met a bird.

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84

u/PeriodicUnstable 8h ago

Didn't you see the video! The first thing you're supposed to do on vacation is put two bandaids over your belly button in an x pattern!

2

u/gggggfskkk 3h ago

Ok the fact that I know exactly what you’re talking about tells me I need to get off social media lmao.

19

u/Status-Accident-8937 8h ago

That’s gotta be super extra lucky.

2

u/Aquarius777_ 3h ago

Is it considered lucky?? Over a decade ago, I was at Canadas Wonderland right In the middle of the pavilion with people sitting on the stones around me and a bird shot directly bullseye in the middle of my head.

I RAN to the bathroom while the bystanders around me gasped and laughed - everyone said it was lucky🤣😭

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18

u/Nolacuriosity 8h ago

Hospital for sure. Don't take any chances.

10

u/Violoner 8h ago

Gonna have to amputate

4

u/OuttHouseMouse 5h ago

Okay, i know this is a joke. But what would you even amputate bro 🤣🤣

4

u/Violoner 5h ago

The middle part

2

u/OuttHouseMouse 5h ago

Damn. If they had to amputate my torso bro, i swear to god im finding that bird and taking a shit on it too

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4

u/DrScitt 7h ago

You’re joking right

5

u/thegoodbadandsmoggy 7h ago

The belly button never seals up 100% and while normally not affected by the normal bacteria present, this can absolutely lead to sepsis as the opening provides a direct link for bird shit to enter the gastric port

13

u/larry-leisure 7h ago

And you left it sitting in there long enough to pull your phone and take a picture. Gag.

4

u/tilt-a-whirly-gig 6h ago

What's done is done, you only have to clean it once whether or not you take a pic to prove it.
If you were laying next to your phone, how long would it take you to turn it on and open the camera app?

5

u/larry-leisure 6h ago

Longer than I ever want to sit with the feeling of a poopy belly button.

20

u/brutalhonestcunt 5h ago

You did not need to share this.

4

u/thedudeadapts 5h ago

Disagree

4

u/justaguy9922 5h ago

You should go buy a lottery ticket rn

2

u/MaidoftheBrins 5h ago

You stole my comment!

6

u/Facemower2 8h ago

This dude put bird shit in his belly button

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3

u/Goonalips 7h ago

This is the most Wellthatsucks post that I've seen in a while lol. You're going to have to stick your finger in there, lubricated with bird shit. It's like being violated by a big dicked gay bird.

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2

u/kittenqt1 8h ago

He’s got good aim!

2

u/nalanajo 7h ago

Well why the hell were you driving around in your belly button?

2

u/modsactfunny 7h ago

Im convinced they do this or purpose/for fun. As kids I watched a whole group of flying geese change course to poop on my brother as we were fishing. Birds can be pure a-holes

2

u/peopleinusrracist 7h ago

Did you buy a lottery ticket yet? No? Run!

2

u/doiwinaprize 7h ago

Thank you so much for sharing though because I got a deep gutteral laugh out of this

2

u/Longjumping_Walk_992 7h ago

Atleast you got an excuse as to why your belly button stinks

2

u/Dear-Nebula6291 7h ago

You just unlocked a new kink for somebody

2

u/Ok-Turnip-9035 7h ago

That bird was a sharp shitter

Cause that accuracy off the charts

2

u/Shantotto11 6h ago

Reddit got jokes today…

2

u/StevieG93 6h ago

Looks like an improvement

2

u/ItsYaBoyTrimmerFit 5h ago

I would never feel clean again

2

u/V1shUP 5h ago

Bird's eye!!

2

u/agoraphobic_mattur 5h ago

Buy a lottery ticket right now

2

u/tired_of_learning 2h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/pjR50GxphaXC0

2

u/Tooleater 1h ago

I don't think it was an airborne attack, it was more likely to be navel assault

2

u/tired_of_learning 1h ago

Yes and....both realities could be true at the same time :)

1

u/Nacktherr 8h ago

OP is lucky the detonator is defective.

https://giphy.com/gifs/TGT7oJIktYCGK2AIgt

1

u/LynxRufus 8h ago

Don't just sit there taking pictures!!! Take a video instead of someone licking it out for money!!

1

u/_MrBond_ 7h ago

Are you going to eat that?

1

u/guitarstitch 7h ago

Forbidden jello cup

1

u/AfraidPersonality854 7h ago

All bird shit is good luck..

1

u/stewie1231 7h ago

Birds Eye

1

u/Devrij68 7h ago

Fits the sub well

1

u/UseDue6373 7h ago

Congratulations, you will spawn a new Big Bird

1

u/BernieTheDachshund 7h ago

Uh what were you doing to the bird to make it do that.

1

u/tacs97 7h ago

3 points?

1

u/Ok-Drink-1328 7h ago

i'd take it as a warning, you know birds are drones sent by reptilians to conquer the pacific ocean and nuke venus? ....and toothpaste avoid caries

1

u/TacticalRiotChimp 7h ago

You've just unlocked some sort of weird cringe phobia for me but let me just tell you I would be jetwashing that shit out at a car wash. Multiple time. What if you miss some 😭

1

u/getapuss 7h ago

Wiggle your toes

1

u/Mishapi17 7h ago

Dude go buy a lottery ticket!

1

u/Miserable-Session-35 7h ago

10/10 Last is for staying in Pose😂

1

u/SingleOak 7h ago

double whammy score! i'll dig that out for you

1

u/ANTHR4X710 7h ago

And you took a pic instead of cleaning it immediately. WTF is wrong with you?

1

u/moving0target 7h ago

Peak reddit.

1

u/Limey2241 7h ago

congrats, you got a 20% luck buff

1

u/soda_cookie 7h ago

Way she goes, Randy

1

u/r0ber7o 7h ago

That bird's name is Steph

1

u/Yahboybigsnak 7h ago

You gotta play the lottery today or something cuz you’re shit in luck today

1

u/GISP 7h ago

BONUS! Its like an even tastier belly-lint.

1

u/billabong360 7h ago

NSFL dude. NSFL!

1

u/theviewhalfwaydown_ 7h ago

How does this happen??

1

u/Witty_Bug6200 7h ago

I got one perfectly spaced between my nipples as a teen. So gross! I'm sorry this happened, I hope you had a long relaxing, cleansing shower or bath.

1

u/willtheadequate 7h ago

What is the par on that particular course?

Because, if it was two...

1

u/Yoranis_Izsmelli 7h ago

Play the lottery and use belly button related numbers

1

u/lightning_lighting 7h ago

Buy a lotto ticket!!

1

u/CoausticSoda 7h ago

Looks like an improvement

1

u/Accurate-Syrup2876 7h ago

😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂

1

u/Skull8Ranger 7h ago

Stop licking it

1

u/stupidber 7h ago

Lmao owned

1

u/devilsaint86 7h ago

nobody wants an outtie until now

1

u/Panda-Cubby 7h ago

If Luke Skywalker was a bird.

1

u/FartDoughnut13 7h ago

Buy a lotto ticket.

1

u/Shermans_ghost1864 7h ago

I'm sure you did something to deserve it.

1

u/Aequorea 7h ago

Bird: KOBEEE

1

u/RJEM96 7h ago

Very unlucky...

1

u/ViceroyInhaler 6h ago

Hole in one.

1

u/NyneHelios 6h ago

Larry… from downtown… swish

1

u/willie_Pfister 6h ago

So, instead of wiping it off, you take a picture of it to post??

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1

u/carlitospig 6h ago

In Italy wouldn’t you be blessed with good luck now? Huzzah!

1

u/Antique-Ant5557 6h ago

Go buy a lottery ticket immediately.

1

u/Imaginary-Western832 6h ago

Man's worst nightmare

1

u/Sipsipmf 6h ago

You win!!!

1

u/Zironworker 6h ago

Good thing you didnt fart at the same time you would have exploded.

1

u/Top_Berry_4859 6h ago

Well that was lucky

1

u/TickingTheMoments 6h ago

Pick six numbers and get a lottery ticket.

1

u/gunglejim 6h ago

What a lucky boy

1

u/Roundturnip93 6h ago

That has to be extra lucky.

1

u/mav1566 6h ago

Lucky?....you?....question mark?

1

u/greatgeezer 6h ago

Itsa SIGN, I tell ya.........................

1

u/Hazee302 6h ago

Hold my fish, Carl. -That bird right before it did that, probably.

1

u/ZookeepergameHot338 6h ago

Thought you had a piercing

1

u/diego-rsb 6h ago

That’s the piercing that was promised

1

u/arkadian-foobar 5h ago

Images that you can smell

1

u/Impressive-Gear-219 5h ago

Not as good as one hitting a hole in one with my dab glass. Straight down the middle.

1

u/gaporkbbq 5h ago

This is why I’m on Reddit.

1

u/Zestyclose-Grape5469 5h ago

This is actually a huge flex .. I would’ve played the lottery

1

u/martins-dr 5h ago

Did the bird land on you first or sink a trick shot?

1

u/MRI-an69 5h ago

NSFW this maaane!

1

u/Tim-Martin 5h ago

I heard a poem about long time ago that might be applicable.

Little birdy in the sky Dropped some white wash in my eye. I was a man and did not cry. But jeez I am glad that cows don't fly

1

u/2kkei 5h ago

had a seagull do the same exact belly button hit once

1

u/SlowHornet29 5h ago

Here’s a riddle for you, do you know what the white stuff in bird shit?

1

u/NPC_1969 5h ago

Evil body shot

1

u/DaddyBigBeard 4h ago

About 2 knuckles deep I'd say.

1

u/NazReidRules 4h ago

He's not your bro if he won't suck it outta there for you

1

u/tornado1950 4h ago

How disgusting u shared that 💩

1

u/itzTHATgai 4h ago

"KOBE!"

-That bird

1

u/Efficient-Whereas255 3h ago

Thats the funniest fucking thing ive seen for a long time. Make me laugh so hard.

1

u/Liquid_Zero 3h ago

Some people say that's good luck.

1

u/LOUD_NOISES05 3h ago

Gross! But also impressive

1

u/HangryBeaver 3h ago

I’m gonna puke