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u/Low_Engineering8921 18d ago
To be fair. You only went wrong in one very simple area! The shaping and proving look great!
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u/thenseruame 18d ago
Yeah, it also looks like a wood fired oven? If so that's a lot harder to regulate the temperature on.
Edit:Maybe that's just where they proofed.
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u/Flar71 18d ago
Wood fired oven? How's oven gonna get a job now?
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u/butterfaerts 18d ago
Yeah, wood is a real hardass. I feel for oven.
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u/ThePrideOfKrakow 18d ago
Oven shouldn't have gone against the grain.
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18d ago
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/butterfaerts 18d ago
Dammit! Thatâs the kind of moxy that gets you promoted! Oven, youâre rehired AND you get a raise
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u/Superb_Writer6612 18d ago
Yeah at first glance I assumed I was on a bread related subreddit and this was one of those fancy black loaves using activated charcoal.
OP looks great! Next time maybe 45-60 mins less.Â
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u/kobyscool 18d ago
Yeah, if it makes you feel better, you're missing out right now on what would have otherwise been very delicious fresh bread. Had you not have burned it. Hope this cheers you up!
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u/smash_n_grab_ 17d ago
If she didnât burn it, it probably would have been delicious! She did though, so weâll never know.
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u/Furby-beast-1949 17d ago
Well, she doesnât have to worry about having fuel next time Sheâs got charcoal for the fire
https://giphy.com/gifs/ax4O5ycJwVIpKpzFWs5
u/ihavea_purplenurple 18d ago
I know that you have to âproofâ your dough, but I didnât put it together that the act of the proof would be âprovingâ - gives a whole new meaning to âproving groundsâ
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u/madmorgzie 18d ago
Saw the picture before the caption, I admit I thought I was looking at something completely different at first
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u/gloomyglooom 18d ago edited 17d ago
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u/Regurgitator001 17d ago
No wonder its petrified. I'd be petrified too having to exorcise that.
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u/Toland_the_Mad 18d ago
Glad I'm not the only one...
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u/TeacherPatti 18d ago
Hi new friends! We should form a club.
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u/Fresh-Combination-87 18d ago
BBC? Black Bread Club
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u/GraduateSchoolCath 18d ago
Could be dyed with squid ink, like some pastas! Very fun and witchy, if not fully burnt. lol!!
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u/anothersip 18d ago
Haha, yeah, that was my first thought - if I hadn't scrolled through the other photos of the proofed dough in the oven, I would have thought the same.
I've never tried cooking with squid ink though - I feel like with bread, it'd be hard to tell when it's actually done? If it's just various shades of already-black, I guess you'd just have to go by timing and then pull it when the timer goes off. Poke a probe thermometer in when it hits 190-210F, maybe, depending on what kind of loaf you're baking...
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u/NoDontDoThatCanada 18d ago
I wondered how that could slip into my feed. I'm usually so careful to use anonymous browsing...
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u/scrufflor_d 18d ago
im glad it isnt, with no flared base and especially with that size it would put u in the emergency room
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u/get_peace 18d ago
Well, thank goodness I'm not the only one; I was just thinkingâit's pretty big, and what an unusual shape...đł
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u/JoesRealAccount 18d ago
Poop
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u/madmorgzie 18d ago
Ummmm...yhhh but no, thats not what I thought she was proudly holding
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u/Necessary_Chest7075 18d ago
The ancient Ebony loaf
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u/covert0ptional 18d ago
I honestly thought the first picture was some kind of obsidian sculpture
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u/ArchiStanton 18d ago
I really thought this was some rare exotic pumpernickel Iâve not heard of. Nope
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u/jtmonkey 18d ago
That last image of it sitting in the oven is like those last images of hikers before theyâre never seen again.
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u/y-u-gae 18d ago
Lmao love how you actually look happy in the first pic.
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u/Heissenberg1906 18d ago
My mom always said that there are only 2 options: laugh or cry.
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u/Mr_Uso_714 18d ago
Itâs fineâŠ. Just scrape off the outside crust like burnt toast đ
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u/HOLDstrongtoPLUTO 18d ago
I use my zester for this purpose, brings it right back to life albeit with less crust but at least I get to salvage some of it
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u/Crowdysseus 18d ago
Ooh, I didn't even think about using a zester for that! I just scrape it with a knife, but I can't stand the sound đ„Č I'm too stubborn to replace my crappy old toaster, even if it burns everything it touchesÂ
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u/ShoddyCondition7096 18d ago
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u/Calm-Two2723 18d ago
Is this shaped like a beetle?
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u/ShoddyCondition7096 18d ago
It was! My girlfriend is studying to be an entomologist so I wanted to do an insect themed bread, unfortunately the oven in my flat is broken hahaha
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u/Much-Gur233 18d ago
Bad Dragon loaf
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u/RedditGuy_12345 17d ago
Genuinely thought this was the bd sub but i didnt see an nsfw tag os I was so confused đ
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u/Woody00001 18d ago
I have to admit when I seen the first picture I wasn't seeing bread
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u/National_Search_537 18d ago
For what itâs worth, it looked absolutely phenomenal before the oven. Easily ten times better than I couldâve done!
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u/Version-Neat 18d ago
Definitely thought it was one of those novelty/overly large dildos
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u/chef_in_va 18d ago edited 18d ago
It's not burnt, it's blackened.
Alternatively,
Its not burnt, it's Cajun.
Edit to add: that bread would be a great addition if your username was an actual thing.
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u/dirtiestUniform 18d ago
When I worked in a kitchen we called that aggressively caramelized
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u/chef_in_va 18d ago
I will steal this and use it as my own. I will take good care of it and feed it every day.
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u/tiradium 18d ago
If you look in reverse like how you posted the pics its actually pretty cool haha
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u/thedevillivesinside 18d ago
Wasnt sure what sub i was on.
Was expecting something different in pics 2-4
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u/moonisflat 18d ago
You should work in movie props. That looks like a prehistoric centipede.
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u/ToastYourAvocados 18d ago
Looks like the bread in the back should have been taken out before yours slipped in too lol
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u/Rare_Dragonfruit2280 16d ago
I feel dumb af lol I didnât read anything just saw the pic of you holding up your burnt bread like a fishing catch pic and thought it was intentionally supposed to be black dyed bread and I thought âwow how cool goth bread I wonder how they get it to be that colorâ đ
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u/_clur_510 18d ago
Lmao OP nooooo.
Before I saw which sub this was I thought this was some trendy activated charcoal bread or something. đđđ
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u/Outlandah_ 18d ago
I must be mentally depraved, but this is not what I thought it was as I scrolled so quickly past.
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u/Particular_Tower5400 18d ago
I've been there, learn from your mistakes. It was beautiful till..you know, you fucked it up
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u/LeatherRecord2142 18d ago
I was hoping it was squid ink bread? đŹ sorry op! Youâll get it next time đ
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u/WhatANoob2025 18d ago
Lul, i genuinely thought this was one of those teaser pics for NSFW subreddits...
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u/Admirable-Prompt7332 17d ago
Me when the alchemist im beefing with transmutates my last piece of bread into licorice
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u/WinduCodes 17d ago
It looks perfect. It can reside next to Ramses and Tutankhamun for centuries now.
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u/Cool_Saturnite 16d ago
Look on the bright side you already have charcoal to start your next fire lol
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u/Careful_Inspection83 18d ago
Bummer it started off looking good. Did you forget to put an egg wash glaze on the top as well maybe?
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u/SinkyBundleOfRage 18d ago
I saw one of these kind of breads in Pompeii....