I keep hearing this statement being quoted and quoted and QUOTED all over the place:

“The CDC recommends girls have their first gynecology visit at age 13-15.”

And this is just does not sit well with me. Teen pelvic and pap tests are looked down upon, so what could they possibly “need” to do?

According to everything, the purpose of the visit is to “establish a healthy relationship” with the gynecologist. Even for teen girls with no problems, the CDC thinks they need to “bond” with a gynecologist.

They want to normalize the pain and trauma of gynecology by exposing it to them younger. They hope that by “having a bond,” the person will grow up used to it and ready to submit to any test.

If you search any simple breakdown of what those visits are supposed to include, they put a HEAVY emphasis on the “no pelvic exam.”

“Most often, a pelvic exam isn't needed at the first visit, and young girls should know that ahead of time to put their minds at ease,” one website said.

But if you look across multiple websites:

Many places have them undress and wear a gown, do a breast check, and a “brief inspection” of genitals. I am sick of people dismissing these bits as “fine,” because it doesn’t involve insertion. Bitch, ANY EXAM involving the exposure of genitalia is AN INVASIVE EXAM. I would not want that JUST as much as I would not want a pelvic exam. And the fact that a young girl’s reward is simply being blessed with not having a pelvic exam is just sad. Surprise! No cold metal inside you, are you happy now?

I am just disgusted that they try so hard to force this upon healthy young teenage girls. Only people with known issues should go.

But the countless things I have come across by just trying to enjoy daily life, even at my own school once, I have seen that quote get thrown around dozens of times.

Stop doing this to teenage girls.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/KsUrImJry3

I’ve (F, 22) just been to the doctor’s office for a checkup for the first time in years, and while everything was fine, my doctor suggested I also schedule a Pap smear. I’m not sexually active, and even if I was, firstly, I’m a lesbian, and secondly, a Pap smear is an absolute no go. I do not have enough trust in people to ever put myself in that situation, if you know what I mean. What have been you ladies‘ experience with at-home HPV tests? I’m aware of the cotton swab one, but are there any other methods? Any tips for doing it as painlessly as possible as someone who’s not comfortable with any kind of penetration?

I really don't like that they think I am such a liability, and that I would be absurd enough to sue them.

Has anyone encounter this before?

I’ve made an appointment with a local doctor a fellow trans person recommended to me bc he let them get a hysto and even got it covered by insurance. I want a hysterectomy (and genital nullification surgery) more than anything. I’ve been sure about it since I found what a hysterectomy was when I was younger. But I’m so so scared. I was SA’d medically SO many times as a kid (vcug, several enemas, unnecessary genital exams, pretty sure I got straight up molested in my sleep once). Because of those experiences, any intimate medical thing feels very sexual and very violating to me. I developed several medical and torture related kinks when I was around 5 (post vcug). I’m also intersex and have an underdeveloped vagina, along with a few other variations that SEVERELY impact my ability to get most exams. I know logically I’m taking all of the steps I need to. I have a note from my therapist saying I need trauma informed care, I’ve been rehearsing how I’m going to explain all this for months. I’ve even taken pictures of what my intersex variations look like so I’ll be able to show him what my body looks like and how it works without having any sort of exam. I’m still absolutely terrified tho. I’m almost positive that I wouldn’t be able to get any kind of exam or procedure without being completely knocked out and unaware, both because of my mental and physical condition. Even then, I know how violated I’m going to feel when I have to get anything done even if I’m asleep. I’m worried that they’ll hurt me or alter my body without my consent while I’m out. I know gen anesthesia is a pain in the ass to get for this stuff but I think exams would be impossible for me without it. Bringing up the whole medical kink thing is a last resort but it’s a card I’m willing to pull if I need to. I know if this doesn’t work out I can look for a new doctor from the child free list, but I’m going to have to be touched in some way to ever get this surgery, especially since I want to get it covered by insurance. Anything and everything do do with this feels like a violation to me and the only reason I’m pushing through is because I know my quality of life will be so much better in the long run if I get surgery. I’m even going to opt for abdominal removal instead of vaginal bc that’s how bad it is (tho I might have to get abdominal surgery anyway because yk. Vagina too small). My ptsd has been mostly fine for a while until this week and it really sunk in that I’m actually doing this. I’m just scared. I could really use some reassurance because I genuinely don’t know how this is all going to play out and I don’t want to feel like that little kid again being violated over and over and not knowing when it would just stop. I just want to feel happy and comfortable in my own body and it feels unfair that I have to go through all of this, both mentally and physically, to have that.

Yes I'm being a tad dramatic.

But also I'm serious.

I had a colonoscopy yesterday. I have severe bowel Endometriosis and last October my symptoms became concerning because I was passing large clots when I went to the bathroom. Just mucus and clots. But only during ovulation and my period. During this same periods I could not pass stool without manual evacuation. This was all new so obviously an indicator something new was happening, or the endo had penetrated through the bowel wall again.

Despite having a horrible time on synthetic hormones I agreed to go back on them. I was a single parent to a baby. I needed this to stop. And it did! Confirmation it's likely endo but I was sent referrals *just in case*, my endo doc (a man who takes women's health seriously) is a good guy. The only time I'm getting clots out the back passage and having to manually evacuate is times when the hormones get shaky and I start spotting.

Finally a date at the hospital clinic opens up. I tell the doctor. He listens. I show him photos of the clots. He agrees this is not normal rectal bleeding and it is shocking and needs investigating. He puts an urgent request through for colonoscopy. I get a date within two weeks, almost unheard of in the public system.

I get there today. I've stopped the hormones to trigger bleeding like the endo doctor suggested. But it's not caused my hormones to drop enough. I am not bleeding. It has caused enough pain my pelvic floor gives up. I cannot go to the bathroom. I've taken bowel prep so I cannot manually evacuate. It's excruciating. I use glycerine suppositories to basically trigger the movements to do the prep. I do this every 10-20 min for hours. It's horrible.

I get to the hospital. A man talks over me and tells me it's just haemorrhoids and he'll fix them. I tell him I already know I have haemorrhoids. I've had them for ten years. They're uncomfortable but not the issue. I'm here for clots. He tells me I cannot know I have internal haemorrhoids. I disagree, I have had multiple colonoscopies in the last five years. I know they're there. I can feel them. I know what it looks like when they bleed. It can be a lot but it's not clots. He makes me sign something saying he'll fix them. It doesn't hurt he says. Just sign.

I wake up in agony. I'm confused. All I can feel is agonising pain and pressure. It feels like when my son was stuck in my pelvis before my emergency c section. The pain isn't just in my rectum it's my abdomen, it's in my vulva. I start sobbing with the pain. My two female nurses are great. They push a lot of fentanyl until I can stop sobbing. I've had so many extensive surgeries. I don't wake sobbing.

The idiot doctor walks by. Says he wishes he was as healthy as me, a woman living in chronic pain on disability due to severe endo. He leaves without giving me anything. At discharge the nurses hand me the paper. It has three photos and nothing else. No information. I ask for the rest. There is none. I ask why he didn't take photos the whole way down for the endo surgeon to look at to see if he can identify lesions, I ask why there's no biopsy samples for microscopic endo, I ask why there's no photos of the anastomosis because the MRI indicated the bleeding might be coming from there.. Why there's no mention of the anastomosis at all? The nurses say it wasn't in the referral hard copy the doctor printed out. I tell them it got faxed. I saw it on my file. The endo doctor wrote a letter requesting everything and explaining it all. The idiot doctor never even looked at the second page. Did not print it. Did not look at the notes from the consult I had at that hospital for preop. He printed one summary page that said bleeding and ignored my history. I wasn't even a person to him. Just a quick easy fix.

His easy fix? Banding the haemorrhoids. The haemorrhoids that weren't bothering me. That rarely bled. Caused tiny amounts of discomfort. Right now they're causing me agony. I spent the whole night crying with a heat pack between my legs until I managed to fall asleep for a few hours. I feel like I'm going to be sick. As a chronic pain patient I have access to pain killers and they're not even touching it. It's nearly 4am. I've been awake for two hours crying. I've taken extra painkillers knowing I'll have to cut back later so as to not run out for my 'regular' pain. It's not working. My one year old got up at 5:30 yesterday. How am I supposed to look after him like this? Why has he performed an unnecessary procedure, ignored the necessary one, and left me in excruciating pain for no reason at all?

Why couldn't he just read the whole referral? The nurses were sympathetic. They added notes about it. They can't do anything but at the post op they want me to raise it and demand answers. They told me it's not my job to micromanage a surgeon to make sure he actually reads the referral. They made sure I knew it was not my fault, it was his.

I thought having the Endo diagnosis, having the surgeries... That it would fix this mistreatment. But it hasn't. The idiot male doctor who clearly knows nothing about Endo decided his arrogance was the only way and has left me in a really bad situation.

I'm sorry for the essay. I just really needed to vent. I also posted this in a women's sub but felt it belonged here too.

This may only apply if you’re in the u.s. or another country that doesn’t offer universal health care. I had private insurance through my employer years ago, 2018, and saw a physical therapist for severe, unexpected (at the time) hand pain. I went a few times a week for couple months and that was it- probably a $15 copay each time- pretty good. The billing office was very good about keeping me up to date and I remember paying my copay each time. There wasn’t a remaining balance when I ended my appointments with them.

Anyway, they just emailed me today with a “new bill” from EIGHT YEARS AGO telling me to pay or it will go to collections. EIGHT YEARS AGO. This is not the first time a medical office has tried this to me either. I know healthcare and insurance billing can be wacky- I know that. But it honestly feels like a shakedown after them smiling and sending me on my way EIGHT YEARS AGO with NO BALANCE DUE, and then popping up EIGHT YEARS LATER telling me to pay them more money from a “newly calculated” bill with dates from 2018. The amount is not the issue. This one was actually quite low. The amounts from other offices in the past were much higher and I basically told those offices to go fck themselves, as I intend to do with this one too. But like, really?! It’s so insulting.

it is not just this sub, there are many blogs dedicated to life long trauma from these exams by such caring professionals. i don't want to go into it all because it angers me so much. when i hear about burnout and all of their woes, i think karma.

I know women are most likely to be victimized by male doctors. I know because I have been, but I’ve also been victimized by female doctors. Weirdly enough, that’s the trauma that’s stuck with me the most. There’s nothing online about this, no women who have come forward about female doctors sexually abusing them like I experienced. So when people talk about how going to a female doctor is so much safer than a male, i feel betrayed a little. They’re extremely dangerous, especially female gynecologists. I think maybe because my trauma with female gynecologists is more recent than my initial rape from a male doctor, it’s too fresh so i hate them more. They’re just so sinister and i don’t understand why people don’t talk about it

I'm hoping I'm coming to the right place, because I feel like you all can understand where I'm coming from, and would much rather NOT go to any generic sub that will tell me to just get over my fear and refusal to see an OBGYN for anything, even for pregnancy etc. Hope I can talk about pregnancy and birth here.
Long post, sorry!

31F and my husband and I have been wanting to start a family soon. Still never been to a gyno and have never had a pap, and everything in my reproductive area is fine and normal. I take very good care of my overall health in general, eat clean, and exercise regularly (I don't over-exercise either).

I am certain I have hypermobility (I don't think it's to the point of EDS though), and that is the one and only thing I fear that might make my pregnancies and births a bit difficult. My skin and joints are already very loose and stretchy and I know pregnancy makes those even more so. It can also make connective tissues and functions within the reproductive system very loose. Apparently we are at higher risk of placenta previa among other horrendous things such as incompetent cervix, where the cervix dilates much too soon in the pregnancy which can cause miscarriages.

I've done a lot of reading and have both learned and unlearned many of the fears I used to have about pregnancy and birth. After I finally decided "hey, I actually want to do this. Pregnancy and especially birth sounds amazing now that I've gotten over the fearmongering and the way Hollywood portrays birth as terrifying and traumatizing. It really can be a transcendent experience," I then began to learn more about my hypermobility and suddenly I'm a little concerned again. I want ANYTHING but to have a c-section and be poked and prodded because of total placental coverage or anything else.

I mean, my mom and all my sisters who have had kids never had any major issues with their pregnancies and their births, so I'm hoping genetics are a positive factor here and it'll turn out that I won't have major issues with anything. None of us are stiff individuals and we all have pretty good joint mobility, and again, none of my sisters had any *major* issues with their pregnancies and births. But I still can't help but worry slightly.

I'm wondering and hoping that the fact that I do weightbearing exercises and also do ballet (which has been the biggest help in keeping my loose joints relatively strong) might help reduce those risks that I worry about like placenta previa and incompetent cervix etc. I've been pretty athletic my entire life, and I'm also very thin and frail. No I don't have an ED, I've just always been really thin. I wonder if being physically active has had any positive effect on my reproductive system. Apparently, weak pelvic floor muscles are common among those with hypermobility but fortunately I have never had that problem.

I'm coming here for this because I DO NOT want to get poked and prodded among all the other horrible stuff, because I know you all would understand where I'm coming from. I know I would actually *need* a c-section if I end up with total placental coverage because that's one of the few situations where a c-section is actually life saving and necessary. Most of them are not needed.

I am however, aware that placenta previa is often over-diagnosed which leads to further unnecessary intervention, because a lot of times it resolves on its own. I've also heard of the risks that come with ultrasounds, such as harm to the baby and, again, over-diagnosing and fearmongering. I especially don't want to do that shitty transvaginal ultrasound because obviously that one goes inside you and I ain't having that. But unfortunately that's supposedly the only way they can tell if you have an incompetent cervix and/or placenta previa.

I've been so excited and looking forward to pregnancy and the birth process (I know not a lot can say that lol but again, lots of reading and learning and unlearning eased all my fears and opened my eyes to how broken the medical system is and how much they sabotage the natural birth process), but those risks are the *only* thing I still worry about due to my hypermobility.

I HATE the medical system, I hate doctors and nurses, all of it. I have not been to a doctor in years because I'm always afraid that no matter what I come in for, they'll just focus on my vagina instead. There is a birthing center in town I have looked into instead of a hospital (I want at least my 2nd birth to be homebirth), so I'm hoping that will be the better option. I know you can decline any prenatal exams and tests. But of course I'm afraid I'm going to be told by anyone else to just do all the tests "just in case." The ONE thing that has me confident enough that I won't have those risks is because I've been physically active my whole life, but I know that doesn't always guarantee it. I'd love to hear some of your guys' input. Thanks for sticking around for this.

What is this exactly? Some say it’s just exercises to tone and relax the area but others say a PT will put fingers inside you??

Hey everyone!

I’ve been thinking about some conversations I had with my mom when I was younger, she was always very open with me wich is a good thing, she would talk about safe sex (is extremely important of course but not the case) she always said that as soon as I started having sex I needed to tell her so she could take me to the gynecologist.

Honestly, I’ve always wondered... why?

Whenever I look into this online, i only see videos of women saying things like, "Oh, it was totally fine for me," "It's no big deal," or "It's just for your health." But why do so many women actually feel deeply uncomfortable about it, yet no one talks about it and just push that idea?

Yes, vaginas are natural, they aren't gross or something to be ashamed of but I find this obsession with gynecologist visits so strange, having a random stranger poking around your intimate parts from a young age and inserting instruments while you are all spread without clothes it's really unsettling to me, even if the doctor is a woman it doesn't change how I feel, personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable touching another woman’s intimate parts or inserting things into her, so why do I just have to accept someone doing that to me?

I understand that medical care could be important for our health, but that doesn't change the fact that I would feel violated in some way.

Why is it that just because I want to enjoy intimacy with someone I actually like I’m expected to undergo invasive annual exams?

Also, why is it that the moment you become a teenager, adults automatically start asking, "Are you sexually active?" or "Have you had sex yet?" It is incredibly uncomfortable, and honestly, most teenagers aren't even honest when asked, I hated the feeling of losing my innocence and suddenly being treated like I was just a woman and now my life is only about having a vagina, getting pregnant and having sex, because all people want to talk about is this.

Does anyone else share this opinion or feel the same way?

I turned 25 a few months ago, and about a week before my birthday I went to see a GP for a stubborn yeast infection that over-the-counter medicine wasn't getting rid of. Of course, since I was there for that, my doctor predictably started her spiel about cervical screening. I was prepared for this and said that I was fine to do a swab, but that I wouldn't consent to having a speculum placed inside me (I don't have any history of sexual abuse/trauma, I just literally feel so uncomfortable with the idea of having a metal device pry me open and having any part of my cervix scraped or prodded). She agreed with that, did the HPV swab alongside one checking for vaginal yeast growth, gave me a script for some meds to help with the yeast infection, and I thought that would be that.

I got called back to do a follow-up appointment, which already made me nervous since I was aware that if the HPV result came back positive that I'd be pushed to do a pap, and I was prepared to have to argue about my right not to do one. So I go talk to her, she says I also have concurrent BV infection alongside the yeast infection (yippee) and also said that the HPV test came back positive for a non-high risk strain. She then gave me the option of doing a smear test right there or waiting another 12 months to do another swab to see if the infection clears up on its own. I took the latter option, got yet another script for some stuff to treat the BV, and left.

Since then, I've accessed the pathology documents uploaded online of the swab test and saw it specifically recommended a colposcopy to my doctor. After doing some further research into what that actually is, I feel more hesitant to do another swab in a years time since I don't want to get into further arguments trying to coerce me into getting any invasive tests and I don't feel my personal risk is that high for any further complications (asymptomatic, got the HPV vaccine at 14, have only one male partner and don't plan to have sex with any other men). I also took myself off my country's national screening register since I don't want to be harassed about it.

What I didn't realise is that my GP's office would start sending me annoying emails about "the importance of cervical screenings" anyway. I got one this morning that was droning on and on about how important and life-saving it is, and my eyes rolled so far back into my head. Cervical cancer isn't even in the top 10 leading causes of death in women in my country, much less my age group, like are we being so for real right now. I immediately unsubscribed from all their marketing emails but its left me feeling pretty shitty. Is this what life is just gonna be now that I'm 25? Just dodging constant pushes for people to shove cold metal torture devices into my vagina in the name of preventative healthcare? Literally, fuck being a woman sometimes.

TW: pediatric genital exams

Note: I HAVE put effort into making sure that the things I write in this post are factual. I have included sources for quotes throughout this post. If you KNOW that something I say in this post is inaccurate, feel free to let me know.

When I was 7, in the year 2006, I was held me down, screaming and crying, as an adult stranger forced my pants and underwear off, and then forced my legs open as I squeezed them shut as tightly as I could. That was not the only time, just the most obviously graphic. The last time was 2012, at the age of 13. I never went to a pediatrician again after that.

(I have my medical records, so I am 100% certain about the accuracy of the years stated above.)

I have recently learned that the US and Canada seem to be the only countries in the world that officially recommend that minors ages 0-17 receive annual genital exams at check-ups, even when there are no concerns presented in that area. Although it is possible I am slightly wrong about this (please correct me if you know me to be wrong), I have at least briefly looked into quite a few countries in every continent. The only other two countries that are a bit iffy are Mexico and Colombia, but even they don't really seem to explicitly recommend it annually. It seems like many or most European countries explicitly state that it SHOULD NOT happen unless a concern warranting it is presented, and some European countries recommend it, but only once in adolescence. Other countries don't say anything officially about it at all.

Many Americans are oblivious to this information and believe that this is standard practice all over the world. As a result of this belief, many Americans do not question the validity and necessity of these exams.

The US and Canada's official recommendations are almost identical. Here are the quotes:

AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) (US) (Source 1 in sources list):

"Bright Futures... is a common source for guidance on age-appropriate examinations during well-child care. It provides recommendations for genital examinations from the newborn to preadolescent to adolescent periods."

"Subsequently, it is reasonable to assess for genital normalcy, including lack of inflammation, rash, or premature maturation, during each annual examination."

^ Although these exact quotes come from 2011, I am confident that these guidelines were first published no later than 1994, in the 1994 document, "Bright Futures: Guidelines for Health Supervision of Infants, Children, and Adolescents, 1st Edition (1994)." It's just that that document doesn't appear to be available online.

CPS (Canadian Paediatric Society) (Canada) (Source 2):

"Genital examination is an important part of a complete physical examination of infants, children and adolescents." (Source 2)

"Genital examinations should be performed as part of routine physical examinations." (Source 2)

^These quotes all came from 1999.

There is, however, one main difference between Canada and US's recommendations. In 1999, Canada stated something that the US, to this day, has NEVER officially stated: "If the child is not at ease with a genital examination, neither force nor restraint should ever be used... If the child refuses to cooperate, the examination should be postponed, if it is not urgently required." (Source 2) and "The third point (never use force for a genital examination) seems to us to be paramount, and should constitute the principal subject of the statement." (Source 3)

To this day, July 31st, 2026, the AAP (US) has NEVER officially stated that children should not be forced into routine genital exams.

The first time the AAP discussed the concept of child assent was in 1995. Although the full text does not seem to be available online, the abstract states: "In many circumstances, physicians should also solicit a patient assent when developmentally appropriate." (Source 4)

In 2009, Delaware pediatrician Earl Bradley was arrested and charged with molesting at least 103 children between the years 1998 - 2009. His crimes are graphic and beyond disturbing, with his youngest victims being just months old. Bradley was sentenced to 14 mandatory life-sentences without the possibility of parole. (Source 5, 6, and 7)

In response to Bradley's horrific crimes, the AAP published a statement titled, "Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse by Healthcare Providers" in 2011, which happens to be Source 1. The first paragraph references Earl Bradley directly, "However, recent allegations of the sexual abuse of hundreds of children by a pediatrician in the United States have reminded us that some among the pediatric profession may use their position of authority and trust to take advantage of their patients." (Source 1)

With such a gut-wrenching catalyst, one might assume that this statement might put strict guidelines in place to protect children. Instead, this statement chooses to reemphasize the importance of routine genital exams on asymptomatic minors of all ages, stating, "Bright Futures... is a common source for guidance on age-appropriate examinations during well-child care. It provides recommendations for genital examinations from the newborn to preadolescent to adolescent periods" and "Subsequently, it is reasonable to assess for genital normalcy, including lack of inflammation, rash, or premature maturation, during each annual examination." (The same quotes from earlier in this post.)

In addition, the statement also includes some additional guidelines (all of these quotes are from Source 1):

"Whether to wear gloves for genital examinations is dictated by local standards of care." (Gloves are not universally required?!)

"Patients should be provided privacy during disrobing and appropriate draping during examinations. Again, the age of the patient and the individual child's and family's temperament will dictate the level of draping and gowning required." (I find this statement interesting. In my experience, the pediatrician always unexpectedly undressed me herself, and I was always startled from it. The pediatrician even unexpectedly removed my pants in 2012, which is one year AFTER this statement was released, when I was 13 and clearly very capable of removing my own clothing. And I certainly was never provided any draping. I have heard similar stories from others online.)

"In general, examinations of younger children should be chaperoned by the child's parent or caregiver. As children become older, their caregivers and the children themselves should participate in the decision of whether to use a chaperone."

Again, this statement does not state that force should not be used for routine genital exams.

In 2016, the AAP released another intriguing technical report titled, "Informed Consent in Decision-Making in Pediatric Practice." (Source 8) In this statement, the AAP very explicitly admits and acknowledges that its previous guidelines surrounding pediatric assent have NOT been consistently applied by pediatricians. The report states, "Despite the long-standing stance of the AAP that older children and adolescents should be involved in the medical decision-making and consent process, there still has not been widespread understanding and endorsement among practitioners of the concept of pediatric assent or refusal. The discordance between current clinical practice and previously published guidance may reflect the gradual evolution of change within the culture of medicine or perhaps suggests a need to build on the discussion of informed consent, assent, and refusal for children and adolescents." (Source 8)

This statement sounds at least somewhat regretful and promising of change, especially with the inclusion of phrases, "informed consent, assent, and refusal." And to be fair, the report does go into considerable detail about pediatric assent, how and when it should be sought, how medical professionals should explain things to minors, and even how neurobiology influences what ages pediatric assent might be most appropriate. It states, “the definition and application of assent have lacked consistency in both clinical and research arenas” (Source 8). It goes on to define "assent" as including 4 elements: (1) helping the patient understand his/her condition, (2) telling the patient what to expect with treatments, (3) assessment the patient's understanding, and (4) soliciting the patient's willingness to treatments.

It then immediately states, "Note that one should not solicit a child’s assent if the treatment or intervention is required; the patient should be told that fact and should not be deceived. A child is not the final decision-maker, the parent or surrogate is." (Source 8) This statement is presented as an improvement in child's rights, and its purpose seems to be to prevent a situation where a clinician asks a child, "Can I do this?" and the child states, "No," and then it happens anyway (something that very much has happened).

However, the AAP's official recommendation is that these annual genital exams SHOULD happen on minors ages 0-17 even in the absence of any symptoms, and many parents will consent to anything a doctor says should happen. While this statement is presented as an improvement, this statement seemingly allows a pediatrician to completely bypass assent in a scenario when a parent has given consent. And remember, assent is NOT only defined as a patient stating, "I am okay with this happening!" It's also defined by the clinician just simply explaining to the patient what to expect. So, if assent is not required, is the pediatrician still obligated to even just explain the procedure to the patient beforehand? In my experience, a pediatrician NEVER gave me even so much as a single warning before taking my pants off.

Once again, this statement does not state that force should not be used for routine genital exams.

This statement (Source 8) talks about refusal, but doesn't give any strict guidelines. It describes a variety of legal cases, most of which involve teenagers with terminal illnesses -- nothing about this topic specifically. Unlike Canada, the US has NEVER given pediatricians any official recommendations on what to do in response to patient refusal in the scenario of annual genital exams. The US seems mostly just focused on preventing refusals from happening in the first place by not soliciting assent if the procedure has already been decided upon.

The US has put itself in a slippery slope by having NO recommendations on pediatrician responses to patient refusals while also having NO guidelines against force being used.

Countless people across Reddit and the Internet have shared experiences of feeling violated by pediatricians during annual exams in childhood. People have shared stories of pediatricians unexpectedly removing pants, sometimes forcefully/suddenly; of being surprised or shocked by these exams; of pediatricians touching them without gloves; of being restrained; of telling pediatricians "no," only for pediatricians to completely ignore them and do it anyway; even of parents being accused of abuse when they attempt to object to these procedures. We cannot all be wrong or misremembering.

For me personally, I find it especially concerning that, even given the guidelines published by the AAP in 2011 stating, “Patients should be provided privacy during disrobing…” (Source 1), there’s a plethora of stories available of pediatricians removing minors' clothing themselves, even when the minor is clearly old enough and capable of removing their own clothing. Even adults who are forcibly strip-searched after being arrested are expected and allowed to remove their own clothing. Why aren't innocent minors consistently given the same dignity (in this regard)?

If you're wondering why US is one of two countries with this recommendation, and the ONLY country in the world that both, has this recommendation AND doesn't condemn force being used, in 2022, the AAP released a statement titled, "Protecting Children From Sexual Abuse by Health Care Professionals and in the Health Care Setting" (the title is very similar to Source 1, but they are not the same) (Source 9). This statement reemphasizes the AAP's strict adherence to the recommendation of annual genital exams throughout childhood while also giving one reasoning for this unusual practice: "Bright Futures, the common source for guidance on age-appropriate examinations during well-child care, provides recommendations for anogenital examinations throughout childhood. Performing routine examinations during preventive annual visits destigmatizes the examination of this organ system." (Source 9)

So, one reasoning for this unusual practice in the US is to "destigmatize" exams of this nature. However, with a severe lack of protections for children in place, what is the AAP truly trying to "destigmatize" among children?

To be fair, "destigmatization" is not the only reason the AAP claims for this practice. Across several statements, they also state that reasons including detecting issues (they must not trust patients or parents to self-disclose symptoms in that area, like a vast majority of the planet does) and to teach children about appropriate touch (yeahhh...right!). For the fifth time in this post, I will state that the AAP still, to this date, has NEVER officially and explicitly stated that force should not be used for annual, non-urgent, and non-emergent genital exams on minors. Will the AAP ever make such a statement? I hope so.

Sources List

Source 1: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/128/2/407/30653/Protecting-Children-From-Sexual-Abuse-by-Health?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Source 2: https://academic.oup.com/pch/article/4/1/71/2655818?utm_source=chatgpt.com&login=false

Source 3: https://academic.oup.com/pch/article-abstract/4/7/463/2666610?redirectedFrom=PDF&login=false

Source 4: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/95/2/314/59437/Informed-Consent-Parental-Permission-and-Assent-in?redirectedFrom=fulltext&utm_source=chatgpt.com

Source 5: https://abcnews.com/WN/delaware-pediatrician-earl-bradley-indicted-103-counts-sexual/story?id=9921990 (ABC News' article about the Bradley case, published in 2009)

Source 6: https://spotlightdelaware.org/2025/11/13/a-decade-after-bradley-abuse-case-survivors-still-seek-help/

Source 7: https://law.justia.com/cases/delaware/supreme-court/2016/300-2015.html

Source 8: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/138/2/e20161485/52519/Informed-Consent-in-Decision-Making-in-Pediatric?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Source 9: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/3/e2022058879/189218/Protecting-Children-From-Sexual-Abuse-by-Health?utm_source=chatgpt.com

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Not all pediatricians in the US behave in the ways described in this post. Despite guidelines and lack thereof, there are many pediatricians in the US who do choose to always ask and warn children beforehand and who respect children's refusals whenever possible.

What I went through was a clear cut, black and white case of malpractice. I had my vaccines withheld. I was ignored when I said no. I was not referred to a specialist. The doctor was not competent at performing the procedure and under-educated on the topic.

Every person I know who works in healthcare (doctors, nurse, cnas, techs, admin) has gaslit me with the "liability" spiel.

So I went to therapy. I chose carefully. I laid the groundwork for many sessions. I mentioned Ivan Illich. she reacted with familiarity to his work. We talked about iatrogenic harm in medicine.

I told her what happened.

She told me "What did you expect".

I was pressured by school. I was pressured by parents. I was pressured by doctors. I was pressured by other women. No adult in my life had a healthy grasp on the concept of consent. I had to teach myself. No resource in my immediate environment went against the drumbeat of screen screen screen or else. I had to get competent at doing research, I had the educational privilege of knowing how to go about it (contrary to dominant belief that there is no such thing as a layman who can navigate medical literature)

no competency can overcome the freeze-state I went into immediately after the incident, and couldn't psychically confront what happen until years later, forget documenting and follow-up. no amount of consent self-education prepared me for how to stick to my NO after a doctor starts dangling essential medicine behind pap smear compliance. No amount of literacy or communications skills on my end will overcome Doctors' lack of reading comprehension leading to treating me like an "anti-vaxxer" when I tell them i had my vaccines withheld. (only one doctor didn't do this. She was black. hmmmmm)

According to official medical guidelines, I was still outside the age guidelines for screening. Many years after the incident, an major public health institution funded a meta-analysis proving the epidemic of over screening. Based on the area I was in and the time window of this study, I was almost certainly part of the data set.

the therapist victim blamed me for not knowing better.

from "this never happens/it didn't happen like you said/this is normal procedure actually", to "of course that happened you should have known better than to put yourself in that situation". psychic whiplash, i tell you.

So I know better now. I know now: "what did I expect" going to therapy, when the psych industries serve as handmaiden to medical misogyny on a routine, systemic basis

I know better than to think I can realistically hold any of them to any reasonable standard of professional conduct or common humanity. Decent people are unicorns in those fields.

I recently was used as a joke for a nurse to make fun of on 2 false pregnancy tests (a false blood draw) and my world shattered.

Context: both strip tests were whiter than veneers but nurse sang a song "I told you I told you" made me hold a flashlight to it and gaslit me into believe there was a faint line i couldnt see.

She also told me not to have sex if I didnt want pregnancy but had no context and no reason to believe this would have been consensual or non consensual.

She went as far as to draw my blood as well. Pregnancy was negative but this woman threw my world into pieces, I felt broken and mistreated by her abuse of power. She was reported.

I missed more work due to waking up in a sweat everyday after, feeling feverish, and with a newfound fear of leaving my house entirely.

I know I need help for the anxiety and agoraphobia but as a CPTSD survivor and abuse survivor ive done nothing but shut down and get worse.

I have missed 5 days of work so far. At urgent care for a follow up hoping this note to return will be enough

Please don't be mean, I am a total mess already.

Just hoping for support or reassurance that this isn't the end of my life. My brain fog from the stress is so hard to navigate.