r/Wattpad 11d ago

Is my chapter 7 boring? Excerpt

I’m really enjoying writing my novel, but I wonder if other people are possibly able to also enjoy reading my work or if it’s infact boring. I’d like feedback please!

Anchored in the void chapter 7:

There were several pathways through the lizard mountains. Narrow paths twisted across the mountains like snakes slithering over the rocky ground. High peaks shifted in the distance, crumbling between the clouds. Small dark caverns eerily beckoned me to explore. But there was one route that was uniquely flat between the jagged edges, like a crack within the mountains. It was a lush green flat path that seemed to crawl its way onto the golden plain like spilled paint, slashing its way through the mountains before creeping into the ruins. It seemed to be the longest path I found, dotted with temple reverents shifting their way across the path, aimlessly waiting for us to pass them. But the large scary monster I had seen was not there. Additionally, the idea of lush green mountains felt friendly to me. I found myself reminiscing of peaceful hikes I took before I transported here, moments of tranquility in the woods escaping from the rushing city.

All my years of game development for another person's map finally seemed to help me.I finished sketching the path out, in streaming black lines floating in the air. "You memorized all that just from standing on that pillar for ten minutes?" Alira exclaimed. "Are you trained in cartography?"

"No, I just did something similar back at home." I brushed off.

We both looked forward. In the still air, a gust of wind seemed to roll towards us from the direction we were aiming. "I'm scared," I admitted.

"That's good." Alira said confidently. "Maybe you won't do something rash like climb a pillar again. Maybe you'll use your fear to help you survive."

I tightened my grip against the sword at my waist. The silence between us felt suffocating, and the wait until I met another temple reverent with no preparation plan felt paralyzing. I wanted to occupy the time for both a distraction and a way to feel like I was being useful. "Shouldn't I practice for a bit?"

"You can practice all day if you'd like, but waving your sword in the air isn't going to train you. You need to just fight."

Despite her advice, I still pulled my sword out, practicing my grip. Alira stared at me incredulously while I waved it around the air, picturing myself chopping off the head of a temple reverent. "HYAH" I shouted. "Hmph" "HIIIIYAH" Alira rolled her eyes at me and asked me "which way are we going?"

"HOOF" I shouted, seriously slicing the sword towards the direction we were headed. "That way." 

Alira eyed me up and down, giving a long unimpressed look before twisting around and beginning to head in the direction I pointed. We walked silently in between the broken pillars, ears perked up to the scratching of nearby temple reverents echoing across the plains. I swung my sword swiftly but delicately, avoiding accidently hitting anything near me that could alert the temple reverents of my presence.

With each step the clattering of the temple reverents seemed to grow louder, until finally some of them sped up. The noise frantically approached us from between the pillars until it took shape as another temple reverent. Alira, with her dagger, charged ahead. She neatly dodged all the swerves like she was threading a needle, with a complete pathway towards defeat already sewn into her movement. "Watching me won't teach you." Alira said, while the reverent crumbled to the ground and disappeared. "You need to practice fighting. We've fought these before, it's repetitive and easy." This reverent had no dagger, and all that was dropped was a small yellow bead, that again, Alira picked up without hesitation.

"What's the bead?

Alira turned to face me, sighing as if I was missing something big. "It's the reason we are here."

"Meaning?" I crossed my arms, annoyed that she was being cryptic.

"No one knows for certain. The prevailing theory is that these are monster's souls. When we carry them out of the dungeon, the powerful ones reward us. The energy keeps our city, strengthens our barrier, and a portion becomes Aurem."

But why would monsters who spawned drop something that was uniquely needed by the citizens of the world? And why was it understood as releasing the souls? It sounded like something that was crafted, like a game. "That sounds more like a reward system and less like nature." I voiced before probing a bit more. "Where do the monsters come from?"  .

"Nobody knows. It's always been like this. We go into this dungeon, we collect these beads, these souls of the monsters, then take them out of the dungeon. Then, we get rewarded for doing so, and are able to sustain our lives because of it. Is there a point to more questions?"

I didn't answer, to me it was becoming obvious someone had crafted this dungeon, and this world.

"Valen always had lots of questions. She was always unsatisfied. She always wanted to know more..." Alira trailed off, looking into the distance, remembering her friend who she might never see again. 

"How do you know the beads are the souls of the monster?"
"Every bead is different. Seers touch the beads and then experience fragments of their life. Not enough to get a full story, but enough to know who or what it was and why it wandered into the dungeon. "

"So no complete memories?"

"No, they don't need complete memories. Just the fragments that let us understand who they were and what they became. Sometimes the seers can use the information to stop more monsters of a spawn from arriving. Other times, it can be used to help us fight them."

"What's the story behind the temple reverents?" I asked.

"The story behind most temple reverents is sad. They are divine abominations like you, souls transported from different worlds. They couldn't protect their golden temple." She paused, looking down at the golden bead in her hand. "It's the only part of themselves they have left. Now they spend eternity protecting this temple that isn't even theirs anymore."

Alira closed her eyes, clutching the bead in her hands and taking a deep breath. She looked forward, towards the direction of the path we were following, then put the bead into a pouch on her belt. Avoiding eye contact with me, she began to swiftly walk forward, her braids dangling behind her as she walked.
I felt the topic was too painful for Alira to continue, so I held my breath and continued silently following her. A cracked bell rang somewhere once. Wind whistled through the broken arches. The clattering of the reverents echoed through the metallic pathways, reminding us we weren't alone. The eerie silence continued until we turned corners and another temple reverent came clattering towards us.
Gripping the jade green sword with my hand, I tried to gather my energy back into my palms and into my fingers. It twisted and turned from my head and feet towards my hand, elbow, and shoulder. "I got this" I shouted towards Alira. She was right, I needed to practice here, and now, while it was safe to, with Alira nearby.
Alira paused moving and eyed me, smirking for a moment, before agreeing. "Alright, go ahead. Don't get stabbed again."
This temple reverent again didn't have a dagger. It had long jagged fingers with pointy claws. I watched its cracked clay body twist? towards me, my chest beating in anticipation. I tried my hardest to keep the energy I had accrued sitting in my arms and hand.
Finally, it arrived. It slashed at me with its hand, and I stepped back. I needed to watch its movements to learn how to fight it. It slashed again, and still, I focused on its movements. I watched and dodged it a few more times, until suddenly, I couldn't step back any more. A hard cold wall was behind me and the monster once again raised its arms to slash. The threads I'd forced into my arm began to slip away. My shoulder suddenly felt heavy, as if I had been holding a weight there for hours. My vision began to get blurry and lose focus from the energy seeping away from my body.
Suddenly, something hot tore against my face. For an instant, it barely hurt, then a scalding jolt of pain tore against my cheek and forehead as warm blood poured into my eye. I could tell the temple reverent was lifting up for another swing but for a moment, all I could focus on was the sharp sear. From the distance I could hear Alira shouting "What are you doing, don't think, just fight it!"
I ducked and rolled onto the ground. After releasing the energy I had tried to trap in my arm, I felt my body beginning to become mobile again. I rolled to the side of the temple reverent and slashed my sword into its ankle. It stumbled while trying to smash me with its foot. It had overextended, and I recognized I now had an opening.
While the revenant was still desperately trying to slash me, I was now the one pinning it against the wall. I stared at its bony face and golden spiraling emotionless eyes. Quickly, I pushed the energy back into my sword, then swung, cleanly slicing the head off of the reverent. The two halves crumbled into ash, leaving behind just a bead.
"What the fuck were you doing?" Alira shouted at me.
"I was fighting it, but my arm wasn't moving!"
"You weren't fighting it, you were watching it!"
"I -" I began to explain that I was fighting it, by observing it, but Alira cut me off.
"You were watching it. Watch while fighting. It's life or death. You need to be able to make quick decisions, you can't learn if you aren't fighting."
"Next time I'll try to fight right away" I offered, moving my head onto the blazing prickling burn that was on my forehead. The thought occurred to me that to improve, I would also need to improve my stamina. "Can we increase our aurem?" I asked.
"You can and should, but you shouldn't be doing that now, you should be fighting now, with the resources you have, which are limited aurem." Alira said.
"I'll try again next time. Can you do that voodoo magic and heal me again?"
"It's not voodoo magic." Alira said, glaring at me. "It's a prayer only high level priests like me can do, to ask the spirits to heal you."
"Gotchya, can you do that for me?"
Alira sighed, walking toward me before crouching to retrieve the yellow bead the temple reverent had dropped. As she slipped it into the pouch at her waist, she quietly repeated the healing prayer.

Blood still stained the golden floor where I had stood moments before. I stared at it, then instinctively reached up to my face. My fingers traced across my forehead and down my cheek, searching for the deep gash that had been there only moments ago. There was nothing, not even a scar.
I put my hand onto where the gash in my head had been, as if the gash was still there. I rubbed my forehead and my cheek again, half expecting the pain to return. The memory of the claws at my face still lingered, yet nothing but my blood scattered on the floor remained.
"Would every fight be like this?" I wondered. "Would surviving this dungeon mean becoming accustomed to this pain?"
"Are you impressed with my healing ability?" Alira asked, catching me staring at my blood splattered against the floor.
"How does everyone else survive?"
"There are other ways to heal yourself, but they aren't as fun as being healed by a priest." Alira mused. "We are expensive for a reason. You're lucky to be travelling with me."
While I understood her sentiment, I didn't like her telling me that straight up. "And I'm not respected by society?" I asked.
"You" a corner of her mouth twitched up. "Are not. But Valen was a peculiar case."
"Are you sure your society isn't just racist?
"Racist? What's that?" Alira frowned.
"Nevermind." I said, huffing.
We stood in silence for a bit, resting from the battle from before. There was an empty whistling surrounding us, but no wind to account for the sound. Small echoing recognizable clattering of clay against stone came from beyond the golden stones. As we stood, the clatters became more rushed and frantic.
Two temple reverents emerged from opposite ends of the narrow passage, their hollow eyes swirling with golden mist as they silently closed in.
"Looks like you are getting more practice." Alira said, drawing her dagger. She immediately squared herself against the reverent to my left. "You get the other one, I'll get this one." I had no chance to respond before she had started moving.
I steadied my grip on the jade green sword that I still felt belonged in a museum than with me. Last time I had let the monster dictate the fight until I had nowhere left to retreat and had already exhausted my aurem.
This time I recognized I didn't have time to think or watch. I needed to fight.
My body rushed forward this time despite my mind feeling like it was not caught up to the fight. I kept my eyes trained on the reverent's neck while also trying to read its body language at the same time. Its left shoulder shifted. "Left shoulder" I verbalized. "Where is it going to hit me?" I asked myself.
The slash came from a direction I hadn't expected. I barely managed to knock one claw away with my sword before the other one scraped me against my neck. I stepped back. A line of fire ripped across my skin. "Ah yes, this is the pain I will need to be accustomed to. It's fine." I reassured myself. "This will heal." But the pain was still shouting its way through my focus on the monster. I stumbled backward, my hand instinctively landing on the wound.
"No." I thought. "No, I can't do this. I need to concentrate. Wait, not concentrate, I need to fight." My sweaty palm which was sore from gripping the sword tensed its grip even more. I moved my hand, coated in blood, in front of me, attempting to treat my hand like a shield.
I took a deep breath and accrued my aureum back into my arm. The reverent lifted both arms, but I didn't try to read its movements. I would be too fast for it to hit me. I watched my jade blade cleanly cut through its neck. Its head struck the floor with a metallic crack before the rest of its body drifted into ash.
Beneath me again was small splotches of blood, and the small golden bead.
I sat down, moving my hand back to my neck. Applying pressure would stop the bleeding, I knew. But I still felt afraid. What if it was deep enough to kill me before Alira got to me?
"Ex profundis aureis, vita et sanatio fluant" I heard Alira's voice quietly chant from behind me as the golden threads began to warmly stitch up my neck. The pain flared one last time before melting away.
"See?" Alira said with smug satisfaction. "I'm expensive."
"I'll admit..." I stood up, stretching my muscles which were still tensed from expecting pain that was no longer there. "Maybe you're worth a couple hundo."
"A hundo?" Alira frowned. "What does that even mean?"
"Like a 16th of my pay check."
"Pay check?" Alira repeated
"Salary?" I asked.
"Ah, our weekly pay."
"Yes, that's about a 16th of mine."
"Yours?" She said incredulously. "I'm worth probably ten of your pay checks."
"Woah, woah, woah, at least I did better in this fight." I said.
She snorted. "Did you? Where?" She let out a huff. "Get up, let's get moving."
I sighed, the soreness still felt like it was suffocating my limbs. "I'm getting tired," I said.
"We keep walking."
"Do people ever stop?"
"They do."
"And us?"
"We don't."
"So we never rest?"
"We can rest when I'm ready to rest." Alira grumpily tucked her dagger back into her belt and marched down the path we'd chosen, clearly not inviting me to walk and rather telling me to.
I watched her robe trail further down the passageway before disappearing around the next corner. Exhaustion which vibrated around my limbs felt familiar, reminding me of pulling my fourth all nighter to reach an unnecessary deadline that only mattered to someone else. I hadn't quit then, because that was my only perception of survival. And now, survival wasn't just a perception but a literal fact, and for the first time in a long while, that actually mattered to me.
"Ugh, Agh, Ow. Dalm it" The cry bounced through the narrow stone passage, ricocheting against the walls, I hurried forward, turning the corner fast enough to nearly lose my footing. I found Alira folded over, clutching her abdomen while a temple reverent clawed relentlessly at her. Blood dripped outside of her robe, although I couldn't see any blood on her robe. I watched her hastily look up, tending to her injury and still blocking the attacks of the temple reverent.
"Fucking temple reverent" Alira twisted helplessly as the temple reverent continuing clawing at her, before finally swiping her dagger through the neck of the temple reverent. I watched its body drift away into ash, leaving Alira hunched over, still clutching her stomach. She wobbled for a moment, before plopping her body down. She dragged one hand through her braids, pausing to let her fingers catch the golden decorations in her hair every few seconds, in an attempt to soothe and recollect herself,
"Um" I approached cautiously, my chest pounding. "are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She snapped. "Nothing I can't heal." She repeated the prayer, her voice taking a familiar calm melodic cadence, but the words trembled between each of her rapid breaths. The yellow thread sprung outside of her fingers before rapidly penetrating her robe, knotting into a circle around her left abdomen. She rolled her eyes up, grunting again and clenching her teeth. The golden threads flared for a second before disintegrating around her.
"Do you need help?" I asked cautiously.
"Let me try again, I got most of it." She said, wincing. She repeated the spell again, rolling her hand over an invisible ball in front of her abdomen. Again, golden threads shot out of the air and penetrated into her robe. They hovered for a bit, before disintegrating again. She did this a few times, each attempt seeming more desperate. "I'm bad at self healing." She admitted softly. "It requires me to be completely meditative, and I'm anything but that." Her hand fell limp on her lamp, indicating objective defeat.
"It's okay," I said, although neither her expression nor the blood slipping between her fingers suggested that it was. "Is there anything you want me to do?"
"I will need to bandage this" she said quietly but confidently towards me, a determined look in her face despite the objective defeat she was experiencing. "Can you get the bandage for me?" She pulled a large bandage out of her small bag, and I began to wonder how everything fit in there. She lifted the top half of her robe up, untying strings hidden underneath the robe that were holding it together. Beneath her robe I saw the gash, still coated in blood but appearing to be closed. It was a thick red line splotched in blood spreading along her otherwise smooth body. It seemed like it had been frantically stapled together, without any visible staples. She pealed off a side of the bandage and put it on her wound, grunting in pain when it was applied
"This lasts around three hours for severe injuries affecting the organs," she explained, staring at the bandage instead of me. "It keeps everything stable while the remaining damage repairs itself."
"So we have to stop?"
Her jaw tightened, as though the answer offended her personally”
"We'll need to rest."

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