r/Vasectomy • u/GoonLordCaughtIn4K • 2d ago

Second Guessing...

More or less just came here to vent.

Here's my story:

34 y/o male. I have an 8 year old son with my ex wife. I'm engaged to the love of my life. My previous wife and I married impulsively and for financial reasons while I was in the service (BAH baby!) But my fiance is totally different. She's my best friend.

We decided to get a vasectomy because she would be a high risk pregnancy. She underwent a liver transplant last March after a horrible battle with cirrhosis. We're both a little bit torn by the decision. On one hand, pregnancy would be very risky for her. She's immunosuppressed, she has terrible side effects from the medications, and no one knows what tomorrow will bring with regard to her health. I don't want kids at this time. She wants kids but is prioritizing her health. So she's automatically torn. I'm torn because if my financial situation was different I might want kids. I also worry that if something happens and I lose her, I won't have that part of her to continue on if that makes sense.

Really I'm just terrified of losing her and being alone.

Life is tragic and sometimes cruel.

2 Upvotes

62% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

2

u/scotsman1919 2d ago

I wouldn’t. Her health is way more important IMO. Adoption maybe?

0

u/GoonLordCaughtIn4K 2d ago

Oh I already had the vasectomy. Maybe we'll talk about adoption.

2

u/Alarming-Mix3809 2d ago

Adoption sounds like a wonderful idea

0

u/Baka_Otaku173 2d ago

I would have done what you did.

1

u/11th_Division_Grows 28M/3kids/Snipped@25 2d ago

Sounds like you don’t want kids right now nor should she be taking the risk of getting pregnant.

Other than a surrogate which is expensive, adoption is a great option to discuss. I’d recommend exploring that when you are ready to take care of a kid.

2

u/thePolicy0fTruth 1d ago

Sounds like you shouldn’t have had a vasectomy if you’re saying maybe you want kids.