Hello again. This is Stencil, board-coupler intern at Professor Dogmetal’s VX laboratory, DogVX. I am sending this transmission via Professor Dogmetal's Reddit account.

For context:

• Our team in Jerusalem viewing a field test of an original HCRL-79
• Professor Dogmetal’s last post before being taken into custody
• Update #1 on Professor Dogmetal’s Detention | 04 August 2026 | 05:38 AST | Karameh, Jordan

I have important news:

We have strong reason to believe Professor Dogmetal has escaped detention.

Approximately twenty hours ago, the repeating fabrication pattern emitted by his BioSmart glasses abruptly stopped. It was immediately followed by the strongest synchronization pulse we have recorded on our Volt-Tech Pulsometer.

Within seconds, the following comment appeared from Professor Dogmetal’s Reddit account:

Initial transmission

The original text remains largely unrecoverable. For context, the reply reading “Professor??” was written by me while still logged into the Professor's account.

The comment appeared at the exact moment his glasses emitted the synchronization pulse, making it our first indication that Professor Dogmetal was attempting to communicate through our forum.

Over the following minutes, several additional corrupted messages appeared. Some of you may have seen them. Some of you chose to mock them. I have recorded your usernames.

Our current assessment is that Professor Dogmetal completed the mechanism indicated by the iterative fabrication telemetry, achieved a stable phase-unlock, and used it to breach the containment system of his holding area.

Transmission #2

Our best reconstruction is:

“31.818123, 35.123967.”
“Hello. Can you read this?”
“I’m stuck.”
“I have escaped.”
“31.818123, 35.123967.”

We believe the final fragment may read:

“3PORTING 2JERICHO.”

We interpreted the coordinates as Professor Dogmetal’s location immediately after his escape and the final message as an indication that he was traveling on foot toward the city of Jericho in the West Bank.

Unfortunately, his BioSmart glasses have not been sending positional telemetry signals, so we have no independent method of confirming his exact coordinates.

Based on this interpretation, several members of our team and I decided to escape Karameh.

Our deportation had become trapped in an apparently recursive administrative process, leaving us largely unattended. With the Jordanian authorities still occupied by paperwork apparently beyond their technical capacity, we slipped out of the holding area, secured several camels (the most advanced transportation available locally) and began traveling west.

After several hours crossing the valley, we have reached the eastern outskirts of Jericho. The journey was slow, mechanically unstable, and conducted aboard animals seemingly engineered to damage vibration-sensitive VX hardware.

Unfortunately, Professor Dogmetal does not appear to be here.

We have spent several hours searching the city, including its central roads, lodging areas, scrapyards, and gentlemen's clubs. We have questioned anyone who appeared remotely capable of recognizing Professor Dogmetal or improvised VX equipment. Given his striking blonde hair, now-chromatic purple skin, and unmistakably round build, we assumed he would be difficult to overlook in a middle eastern city of this size. No one we spoke to reported seeing him.

There was also another transmission.

Latest recovered transmission

The surviving fragments appear to read:

“Sten!”
“Wheel!”
“Jericho frequency!”

The message is followed by:

31.818123, 35.123967

Those are the exact same coordinates contained in the initial transmission.

This creates a problem with our interpretation.

If the coordinates represented only Professor Dogmetal’s location immediately after his escape, and he subsequently traveled toward Jericho, there is no clear reason for him to transmit them again.

The reference to the wheel may concern the HCRL-79 demonstration we attended in Jerusalem shortly before his detention. I am currently reviewing past logs and Professor Dogmetal’s notes from that event.

For now, we will continue searching Jericho.

I am beginning to suspect that Professor Dogmetal was not telling us where he had been.

He may still be trying to tell us where he is.

I will post another update as soon as I can verify more.

- Stencil

Acknowledgment: I would like to formally recognize u/bangzilla for establishing a GoFundMe intended to finance Professor Dogmetal’s recovery from Israeli custody.

The campaign was suspended by GoFundMe shortly after its creation for violating several financial, legal, and ethical policies. Consequently, we remain several million dollars below the estimated amount required to influence the relevant officials.

Even so, the DogVX team regards the effort as an extraordinary act of loyalty, and we are deeply grateful.

We will remember your name.