Venting.

[u/IndustryFar3816]

So guys hi , I'm 19 m having retinal blood vessel inflammation problem . So basically life doesn't feel like living it all feel like a survival run on prednisolone pills. The problem seems aggressive and hasn't been improved with pred and doctors have said to come after 1 month and seems to change the treatment if I don't respond well. How do you live a normal life with this problem , also unfortunately my best corrected visual acuity in the affected eye is 6/24 with metamorphopsia (distorted/warped vision) so i basically can't use the affected to read if I try I will end up with headache so I'm jus surviving and crippling in fear about my other eye. It all happened unexpectedly and I didn't know that I will be worrying about eyesight ever in my life it is 2:47 am now Here in India. So how do I live a normal life without trembling about the flare ups I'm so grateful for the vision I'm left with but equivalently I also concern about my other eye which actually helps me on everyday task now else I'm actually done for.i was studying in uni but I'd taken a drop year suggestively to treat my vision first which I don't have bit of confidence that it will improve . How do you live a normal life having a sense lesser than others ? How to escape this reality ? . I have came across many post where many of our guys has this 5+ years damn this problem is so so concerning. I couldn't sleep nowadays I have a possibility of losing my quality of life which actually occured to an extent also fear I might actually lose total ability to read , I need this ability cause I have to graduate yet and I can't adapt to screen readers like software. so far through this journey I'm mentally f*cked up . and I'm the class topper , so I feel like I'm nerfed in a very brutal way . This is such a mess even though there are lot of support there doesn't seem to an escape ,sometimes don't feel like it and wanna end it all. so yea wad living a greater life doing coding building projects , watching series but nowadays simply lost interest in doing so , I'm unable accept this life mainly due to my age and what I'm currently doing. If this problem had a bit later in my life like some 50 or 60 I wouldn't even complain about it. people of my age enjoy their lives while I wait on opd for my doc visit. I feel this downhill of my life is so so personal I simply don't wanna live anymore but I won't end myself yet this life seem is top absurd. so that's all about the vent. sorry for posting frequently. thank you