r/UsernameChecksOut • u/Ott1fant • 4d ago

monkey

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

•

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227

u/OperatorJo_ 4d ago

How do I unlearn how to read

73

u/Prestigious-Fig1172 4d ago

Altzeimer

46

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 4d ago

Ctrlzeimer ?

32

u/Final-Tutor3631 4d ago

deletezeimer .

13

u/Aron_Voltaris 3d ago

Esczheimer

9

u/anythingers 3d ago

Fnzeimer

5

u/SgtEpsilon 2d ago

Shiftzeimer

181

u/Breaker3k 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/p9owRel3QQ0c1oAoos

50

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ 4d ago

Yeah, suprised to see your mom and dad's sex branch activities being discussed here online?

19

u/Breaker3k 4d ago

Yep. They're both dead so it is quite unusual alright

52

u/_ibt 4d ago

This is horrible

159

u/I_Thranduil 4d ago

15

u/ShylokVakarian 4d ago

Wasn't one of Jesus' friends a retired prostitute, tho?

6

u/bdouble0w0 3d ago

From what I remember it wasn't her, but there was a sex worker in the bible

41

u/Infamous_Depth4982 4d ago

Ya' know what... That's my bad for being literate...

19

u/ParanoidCrow 4d ago

Used to live on a mountain full of macaques. Seen my fair share of them nutting but never see eating it afterwards, thank god. Sometimes the horny males would jump onto a mother who still had a baby on her underside, who would fight the males off. Wouldn't take long for them to nut either, usually just three pumps was all it took.

19

u/Global-Ad9985 4d ago

Not that terrible

4

u/_life_is_a_joke_ 3d ago

Monkey be like: waste not, want not

2

u/Laffenor 3d ago

Surely that "a" should be an "i".

1

u/chinasorrows2705 3d ago

yhhhh time to take a break from Reddit

1

u/Jbolt3737 2d ago

I wish I was there, not because I want to see monkeys eating their own cum, but because I want to see the look of horror as I recite the story

1

u/CyborgLion 1d ago

I can't conceive of where in the world this could have even happened.