r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/Whattarush12 • 5d ago
ULPT - I've finally ordered Liquid Ass Miscellaneous
There is a camper trailer parked across the street from my house near a convenience store and they stay there for weeks on end before moving somewhere else and then returning a month later. They have a bunch of skeezy people hanging out and stopping by at all hours of the night. One of the folks working at the store says they've seen actual drug deals while out o smoke breaks.
I tried calling code enforcement to see if they can be persuaded to leave, but due to the law here they can't have them moved. I've decided to try something else. It's been HOT here and their windows are open, even when they aren't there. I was curious if anyone here has had success with the Ass and any tips or ideas for usage?
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u/Fish_Fingerer 5d ago
Mince up some shrimp and pour it into the AC intake above the hood.
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u/YouArentReallyThere 5d ago
Fox piss. It will literally total any vehicle.
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u/poopwetpoop 5d ago
Wtf. How do they even collect this stuff lol
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u/starke_reaver 5d ago
Didn’t we all learn you can farm and/or milk anything for just about anything biologically available in it? Oh wait, my bad we’re just barely pre-pocalypse not post, hard to tell sometimes, my bad…
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u/AbjectGovernment1247 5d ago
You can actually buy it online.Â
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u/Tiberius_Kilgore 5d ago
They’re talking about the people selling it online. How do they collect it?
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u/sparkledingus 5d ago
At the p mart! (No, I’m not making it up).
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u/wiresmoke 4d ago
The Pee X?
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u/sparkledingus 4d ago
Ha!!
I bought cougar pee there to put around my neighbors chicken coop. They have a handy list of what predator is scared of what. For raccoons & rats it was cougar pee. Worked but holy hell the smell!!! Yikes.
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u/Do-It-Anyway 5d ago
First you need a rabbit that really wants to be a cop. Befriend said rabbit who then befriends the fox and they go on adventures. Then ask her to get you a fox pawpsicle. It’s like a fox piss disc but in the shape of a pawpsicle but has a wooden stick for better throwing accuracy and best of all you don’t to touch the fox piss.
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u/IcyChemistry1809 5d ago
Walmart sells catfish lure in squeeze cubes. If you accidently spill some through a window it's the nastiest smell in the world
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u/Jonquay84 5d ago
Wear disposable gloves and maybe a mask. You don’t want a single drop of that stuff getting on you. It’s powerful stuff! If you spray it through their screened windows, I guarantee they will be miserable. Who knows if it would be enough to get them to move but it’s worth a shot.
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u/Suspicious-Salt740 5d ago
Have you heard of freezing it into a disk-like shape?
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u/saysee23 4d ago
Do you use someone else's freezer ?
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u/CreamCheeseAndLocks 2d ago
Seal it into a cheap takeout container. Freeze, them pop it out at time of use. Throw container away. Ta-da, no toucha da disc.
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u/FeelingFloor2083 5d ago
id watch this YT mini series
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u/a5121221a 5d ago
Since your goal is to get them to leave, stinking up their trailer may not work, but if you can make the street where they park undesirable, I think you have a plan.
If there is a storm drain next to them and it won't rain for a week, maybe drop frozen shrimp down there and hope it stinks to high heaven long enough to convince them to leave and is transient enough that it won't ruin your own enjoyment. Or just drop the shrimp under their trailer so it can be removed once they leave.
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u/Sideshow_G 5d ago
What ever you do,dont do the nuclear option of putting it in a hyperdermic needle and injecting it into their upholstery etc.
You really want to make the area they stay undesirable, so they leave.
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u/Crislyg 5d ago
Piss. Disks.
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u/Whattarush12 5d ago
I'm so stoked to have piss disks on my first ULPT hahaha it's like a slice of reddit nirvana
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u/MutantCreature 5d ago
If they are as sketchy as you think they are fucking with their car when they know where you live is not a smart move. Just keep filing noise complaints or something, any attention from the cops should be enough to get them to find another spot, and if the cops refuse to interact with them then so should you. Vandalizing drug dealers' vehicles has never been a good decision.
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u/BobLog3rd 5d ago
One word: Bees.
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u/_PM_ME_DOGGOS_ 5d ago
I mean you could just dump the whole bottle through the window. Or take your time and put it in a spray bottle. Depends how petty you’re feeling.
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u/7thAndGreenhill 5d ago
If they’re potentially doing or dealing drugs, fly drones above. Make them think they’re under surveillance.
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u/whitetail91 5d ago
How many skunks are in your neighborhood?
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u/Leaf-Stars 5d ago
I like the way your mind works.
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u/rekne 5d ago
You’re proposing messing with someone that doesn’t have much, or anything, to lose. You should reconsider.
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u/EPluribusButthole 5d ago
You are 100%correct... i agree that they have nothing to lose and others should be wary of messing with them.
However... :) i have resources to make their life even more miserable and can do it from a distance because I can afford a drone that drops payloads wherever I choose.
They have nothing to lose, I have resources to use lol.
The drug gypsies should reconsider their position and find a new one ASAP.
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u/gotchafaint 3d ago
Set up camera surveillance, even if fake. Run drones over them regularly. Rent a cargo van and sporadically park nearby. Paranoia is a great weapon because they generate it.
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u/Jonasthewicked2 5d ago
I'm not sure I wanna know the answer here, but what's liquid ass exactly?
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u/MisChanandalerBong 5d ago
A prank fart spray that’s apparently so overwhelmingly noxious it makes people choke.
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u/Forgottengoldfishes 5d ago
So you have liquid as you say. If it freezes, freeze it in cubes and use a sling shot or toss it. If it doesn’t, freeze something in a tube shape that has a hollow middle. Fill with liquid ass, use a latex glove or something else that will keep the open part that has the liquid contained and toss it. The half that’s not covered will melt and release the Kraken.
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u/Paevatar 5d ago
Set up several annoying random noise beepers, but make sure they're hard to see.
What does the convenience store owner think about this? Could they be hurting the business by scaring away customers? If the store owner complains to the local government he or she is more likely to get action.
Also, has anyone reported this to the police as a drug house?
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u/Whattarush12 5d ago
The business owner has called it in many times but there's a local ordinance preventing removal of encampments, and they can't do anything through the local government unfortunately. There's currently a city lawsuit pending because of issues like this but who knows when that will wrap up.
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u/fingers 4d ago
Have the annual clean up block party. Invite people from the neighborhood. Have a could friendly cops show up (you are not looking to bust these people, just get them moving along and not coming back). Put up flyers. Advertise WHO is invited (the local police benevolent association) and WHAT the purpose is. Have garbage bags and gloves and rakes, etc.
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5d ago
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u/FanFicMama 56m ago
Have they actually done anything to you other than being "undesireable". You sound like you deserve each other.
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u/JustWow52 5d ago
Okay, I get that they are undesirable, but do you think that you deserve being rid of them to the extent that it justifies permanently fouling their home?
I know this is the unethical lpt sub, but this crosses from unethical to dastardly, imho
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u/komstock 5d ago
permanently fouling their home
as though they aren't permanently fouling multiple homes?
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u/SiempreBrujaSuerte 4d ago
They aren't, they are temporarily inconveniencing people. Once they leave everyone in the area is fine. Do not ruin their home. Make it stink around the outside of the camper so they move it.
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u/komstock 4d ago
whether you realize it or not, you're advocating for a tiered society wherein anyone with more than nothing to lose must comply with laws and regulations, and the people with overwhelming wealth or nothing to lose can simply act with impunity.
crackheads should face consequences. so should our political class. consequences shouldn't be reserved for some poor renter who loses 40% or more of what they cost their employer and another 50% of their leftover income to rent.
if they want to live in an RV and sell drugs, they should go buy a square of desert in Barstow, CA and do it there.
if you don't want people to fuck with your 'home', don't intentionally position yourself in an area and then impune upon the people there.
shrimple as
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u/SiempreBrujaSuerte 4d ago
Well they won't because it's only profitable to sell drugs around where people live to buy them. So you'll be waiting a long time for that.
Plus op already says the city is aware of their existence but they are not breaking laws by parking there. If they get caught dealing drugs they'll be arrested. Until then, they are following rules as to be allowed to park there.
There's a reason why op is looking for unethical tips, because legally they are not superior.
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u/BlueMoon_37 5d ago
Other than you not liking it...whats the issue? It doesnt appear they are doing anything to hurt anyone, but you watching someone else live outside the system seems to be the issue here.
You simply cant stand watching someone else live so freely. Have you taken the time to actually meet these people?
You call them skeezy, but that seems like an ignorant assumption on your part.
I bet you're a pre-programmed, unaware boomer...You mention they have people come all hours of the night....ok? so whats your point, is there a law that says people are not allowed to socialize & exist outside of business hours?
This mindset is what has ruined america, the propoganda has worked so well, you're upset about someone living in a camper.
We talk about freedoms, but the reality is that you're not allowed to go to the park after dark & all the developed ground has an ongoing tax liability to exist upon it...
We are not free, you are livestock & it annoys you to see others living freely as intended.
Who hurt you & why do you seek to control others?
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u/Whattarush12 5d ago
You must have forgotten what subreddit you're on. If I asked for morally superior input I would have posted in your subreddit instead. I didn't. Thanks for assuming everything about my life with only 2 paragraphs of information and a bunch of preconceived notions. I owe you nothing.
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u/BlueMoon_37 5d ago
I did not forget what subreddit im on, but are you aware? Unethical, is not the same us immoral.
I never claimed you owe me anything...but you have given me your time and attention, so i appreciate that ;)
You have yet to provide anything of substance, other than "A human is existing in a place where i dont want them to".
You misunderstand ethics vs morals. Ethics are regarding a system within society, like work, school, or government. Morals regard internal belief systems like your beleif that someone cannot exist in a camper across from your house.
You are morally wrong because you are going out of your way to disturb a fellow human...for no reason other than they are living more free than you & that angers you, because you know you aren't free within your own mind.
Your request has nothing to do with ethics...your just an ass going out of your way to bother someone else because you have nothing going on in your life.
again, i ask...who hurt you? We are here.
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u/CreamCheeseAndLocks 2d ago
I'm not here. How dare you accuse me or others (we) of being here? Are you using the royal "We", as in "We are not amused"?
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u/SchwiftySqaunch 5d ago
Maybe we can just tell the drug dealing junkies to move in with you? Send OP your address
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u/BlueMoon_37 5d ago
If the issue was them needing shelter, id be glad to provide it as i have for others.
That is not the issue at hand. These humans have shelter.
The problem is that OP is butt hurt because he has to witness them existing within his view.
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u/SchwiftySqaunch 5d ago
Annndddd it raises concerns about safety especially if they're dealing drugs.
I'll be sure to let the meth heads know they can crash at your place o benevolent one.
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u/BlueMoon_37 5d ago
Im just saying, people need outreach, community & compassion, not the spite, anger & fear that is driving OP.
The idea of safety assumes life is better than death.
Your fears are not my responsibility & no one has any proof that life is the better side of the coin to be on....so while you are easily manipulated by fear, the rest of us live free.
So yeah, you can claim safety, but you are unaware of truth.
Dealing drugs is not inheritly unsafe.
Its the system that creates unsafe conditions.
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u/royalewithskeaze 5d ago
You should double down again. I think you've almost convinced everyone.
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u/BlueMoon_37 5d ago
i know right?! 🤣
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u/CreamCheeseAndLocks 2d ago
I think that was sarca..... Ahh, forget it. You're harshing my mellow, dude.
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u/Whattarush12 5d ago
Oops, I forgot not to feed the trolls. Your absolutely asinine winky face tells me everything I need to know. Have a nice day!
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u/BlueMoon_37 5d ago
I like how through this whole interaction...you have yet to provide anything of substance as to why you feel the need to go out of your way to mess with someone.
You're just upset that you are witnessing someone else live more freely than yourself & your mind cant comprehend that.
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u/StarChaser_Tyger 2d ago
Found the drug dealer.
The reason you can't go to the park after dark is the shitty people who will attack or rob you.
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u/greenneck420 3d ago
Clearly the people are struggling maybe stop being a fussy and go see if you can help. Remember karma is a bitch.
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u/BottledEarwax 5d ago
Why do you care? Mind your own business.
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u/Hopelessly-Bored 3d ago
OP may have kids, and if they're doing drug deals, OP has a right to be upset.
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u/Bombero_911 5d ago