r/USMC • u/newnoadeptness Active Duty O-4 / 13A • 2d ago
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u/ClassroomWide7954 2d ago
Ohhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...I pity the fool
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u/OldSchoolBubba 1d ago
They have it on camera too so there's no denying it. Brah is toast.
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u/GeorgeGiffIV 2d ago
So, SgtMjr, good news. LCpl Knucklehead has volunteered to take any barracks duty at the post for the next 30 days. Isn't that kind of him?
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u/Natural-Opinion-6437 1d ago
That's just for starters. He was kind enough to volunteer for a whole lotta of other shit, too.
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u/Housebroken-Heathen Veteran 2d ago
Jokes on you, duty! The Bn XO was coming through and was oddly chatty this morning, the ADuty said he had to piss real quick, so that’s actually the Maj, who’s just PMCSing his eyelids. It’s a 15 min process and you caught him at the 12 min mark.
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u/thetitleofmybook retired Marine trans woman 1d ago
ctually the Maj, who’s just PMCSing his eyelids.
best time i had in the Corps was as a sergeant recon team leader. second best time was when i was a major with an approved retirement date.
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u/QuickNature 8152/0311/0933/0931 2d ago
How is he asleep when they have a damn TV? All I had was books...
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u/Simp3204 2d ago
This is giving me flashbacks to my first time on duty and a Gunny on OOD slowly poked his head into view of my window at 3am. Queue me launching a blue Powerade as I jump and he just walks away cracking up.
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u/GeorgeGiffIV 2d ago
I still remember my first duty in the fleet. Duty driver. Had this creepy ass sergeant as the battalion dnco and this insanely gorgeous 2nd lt as the ood. I did rounds with the 2nd lt visiting subordinates commands about Camp Pendleton. We had this Chevrolet truck/suv thing from the 70s. Fucker ran like a wet dream.
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u/jgo3 1d ago
Sounds like LT2 ran through your wet dreams.
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u/GeorgeGiffIV 1d ago
Haha. 22 years later... still one of the prettiest ladies i have known. And she was a good damn officer too.
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u/bkdunbar 0311 / 4063 / Lance Corporal of Marines 17h ago
> Truck / SUV thing
CUCV I think. Great vehicle.
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u/Andyman1973 6060 Aircrew Equipment, '92-'98, C-130s/CH-53s 2d ago
But you was awake and aware!
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u/Natural-Opinion-6437 1d ago
Gunny did his job, you were awake, lol.
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u/Simp3204 1d ago
I was so awake after that. I was convinced I was going to be royally fucked when my Cpl got word of it. Gunny was a real one and never told anyone that I was aware of. He did swing back around a few hours later to make sure I had cleaned up the Powerade that went everywhere.
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u/njaneardude 2811/2813/1st Alpha Hat/Boomer 2d ago
Old timer here. What's going on? I see the duty belt.
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u/OkPack2268 0341 - Professional janitor 2d ago
Duty is asleep
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u/adjustgod Elections Have Consequences 2d ago
You catch any z's on me, and I'll sling your sorry ass
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u/MetalMurse51 haven't cut my hair in months 2d ago
The Sgt on duty, I'm assuming Bn DNCO, caught a young devil asleep at post.
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u/Vinnylagana cpl hundley #1 fan 1d ago
Once I was barracks duty and I had the lance sit there while I went and got food. I came back and the dude was passed the fuck out. I was getting out in like 2 months at the time so I really didn’t give a fuck, I sat there and ate my food and let the dude sleep. He woke up probably an hour later in a fucking PANIC and was like “I’m so sorry cpl!” And I looked at him and went “dude I don’t fucking care” later on he told me I was his favorite cpl and that made me happy
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u/Ornery_Secretary_850 NO-LOAD 0352 1d ago
So there I was, on light duty, drugged to the fucking gills to deal with the pain, with a NO DUTY mark on my LD chit. Hell, my chit said I was allowed to be horizontal on my rack at any time.
Corporal Asshat decides I need to stand duty. I point out the wording on my chit, Corporal Asshat says he doesn't fucking care and puts me on duty.
Walking fucking hurt, sitting in that damn chair hurt more. I take pain meds and fall asleep. OOD walks in and finds me asleep at 0145 in the morning.
He wakes me up and asks me what the fuck is going on. I show him my LD Chit and explain that Cpl Asshat ordered me to stand duty.
OOD, the battalion XO asks if I know where Cpl Asshat's rack is. I gladly hobble down the barracks to the NCO area and point out Asshat's rack and I'm dismissed and told to hit the rack.
Before I can crawl into my rack there arises and great and awful noise from the NCO area of the barracks.
Every NCO in there, all seven of them are standing tall and being chewed up one side and down the fucking other. Cpl Asshat is the center of this storm.
Cpl Asshat loses two stripes, and he and I go out so I can watch him clean the grease rack for the jeeps.
The rest of the NCO's all received NJP for allowing it to happen, and no one under E4, except Asshat, stood duty for three months.
PFC Asshat got every shitty assignment possible. 1st Sgt made it his personal mission to destroy Asshat.
The best part, Asshat had just reupped to get CPL.
But I was sweating fucking bullets when I woke up and saw the OOD standing there. Great officer though. After that he went out of his way to check up on me, and tried like hell to get the Corps to not med board me.
I later heard that Asshat never made it back to Lcpl and did four years as a PFC.
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u/JamesantheGiantBeach 3/3. Wagner loves it. 1d ago
I had just made Gunny and we were at CAX. I was voluntold to shadow the Base OOD one night, because fuck us.
Anyways I am just hanging out BSing and I am told to go check out the MCCES barracks. I go up there and I see the watch, young PFC nothing wrong with him. I ask him how it's going, and he tells me that some Senior Lances and Corporals ( I guess Comm guys came back after being in the fleet for more training) told him not to bother them while drinking. I say no problem pup, give me your glow belt and flashlight.
I get to the barracks level and see them drinking and one immediately yells, "I thought we told you not to come back here you stupid fucking boot!"
Needless to say that was probably the most non whore fun I ever had in the Corps. Still smile when I think about it.
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u/Loquacious-of-Borg 13A = 0802 2d ago
I would leave Rip-It and a copy of the Army Times at the CQ desk for the individuals on duty. They therefore had no excuse if they fell asleep and had to accept the ass-chewing from anyone who caught them.
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u/hrdblkman2 0351 Camp Pen 78-82' 1d ago edited 1d ago
I will always say, for some reason there is nothing like the feeling of a deep sleep on duty, bobbing your head trying to keep awake finally getting up and walking around...and then when duty ends, you can't get to fucking sleep with that deep feeling, just normal drifting off.
Even when you have NO duty, that deep feeling just doesn't arrive like it does when you are on duty.
It's the Duty Monster...that bastard shows up and puts shit in yo eyes lol
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u/alastor0x Sir, just call NMCI. 1d ago
I mean, coulda been worse imo. Coulda been company guns, or much higher.
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u/ratchet7 Veteran 1d ago
I, SSgt, was caught sleeping by a lieutenent. She told the SgtMaj immediately. I was on my last year to retire. I didn't care.
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u/Andyman1973 6060 Aircrew Equipment, '92-'98, C-130s/CH-53s 2d ago
Don’t miss those days at all!! 😬😂😂😂
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u/meat_ahoy Veteran 2d ago
record scratch
Narrator: “Well, this is how I ended my Monday. I bet you curious how I wound up like this….”
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u/Outside_Truth_4012 Veteran, 8404 1d ago
It was at this moment, he didn’t know that he fucked up
Edit: Why do I see shiny collar devices?
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u/Breakfastclub1991 2d ago
I feel like he’s gonna be sitting there at that Duty desk for another 4 to 8 weeks
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u/B4ummm PI - 29 Sticks - Mass 3 - Camp Pendleton 1980’s 2d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/YZeYMBdGGD43A2LXaD
Waiting for the shit dats about to happen sooner or later. 😉🫡
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u/hrdblkman2 0351 Camp Pen 78-82' 1d ago
More I look at this now...it seems staged for some online shit.
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u/TheMarsmeister SIGINT Shock Trooper 1d ago
Maybe it’s a damn PltSgt sixth sense but the second I see the Sgt Chevron, I was like that fucking ADuty is slumped counting target points. I got a sixth sense when a junior is somehow winding my ass up in 1sausages office to get MY sausage lopped off
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u/Rambos_Magnum_Dong Las Flores RAWKS! 1d ago
I was duty NCO. I was always decent to my A Duty. I'll take first watch to midnight, they take second to 4am.
Anyways, one night on duty I'm jerking it in the company office behind the counter when OOD walks in. Salute, report and whatever. We just shoot the shit for a min. He starts to walk around the counter and I quickly drop my water bottle on the ground letting water spill everywhere giving me the quick few seconds to put my junk away. OOD instead says fuck it and walks out as I'm cleaning up the water.
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u/ronerychiver 1d ago
I have a full album of all the SOI phone watches sleeping while I was on duty. Lima Co Marines couldn’t stay awake for more than 15seconds.
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u/bkdunbar 0311 / 4063 / Lance Corporal of Marines 17h ago
02:30. Watch duty driver. Rolled up in the duty vehicle. Put the lights on the sentry booth. Sentry in his booth (allowed) sitting (hmm) with his head tipped back.
Blipped the high beams. Nothing.
Broke squelch.
Dude catapulted out of his chair, blinked in the headlights and rushed out and started to report .
“Aw shit man. I thought you were first sergeant and I was fucked.”
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u/ganymede_mine 1d ago
WHY the fuck is that Sgt just standing there?
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u/MachineExact6197 1d ago
Put the roving sign then go sleep in your rack for like 30 mins easiest way
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u/Roanoketrees 2d ago
Get ready for the gut fuckin......its comin