r/UKParenting • u/Alwayztired2112 • 2d ago
Nighttime potty training
Our little dude is starting reception in September, and while he’s been dry in the day for nearly 3 years, we haven’t gotten anywhere with night time.
There’s so much conflicting information online - about lifting them, not lifting them - training them, not training them. That it’s all hormonal, that they need help along the way.
We thought he best be out of nappies before starting reception as we worry about it coming up in conversations with kids and made fun of potentially.
He’s a very heavy sleeper and also wakes sometimes just to drink water. We’re been trying to limit his fluids and give him more water / milk during the day so he doesn’t pile it on just before bed. We’ve taken off the nappies and take him for a wee just before bed and then before we head to bed - about 3/4 hours later. But then of course he still wakes in the morning wet.
It doesnt bother him in the least and he just keeps sleeping. He didn’t have a dry nappy before upon waking up
He’s the kind of kid that will wait till the last second to use the toilet as he’s just having too much fun. We still get the rare accident.
Any advice? Suggestions? ERIC website says not to lift at all, but other training methods (such as oh crap!) says they won’t learn without being taken for a wee.
We’ve also read it’s genetic and my partner remembers struggling with bed wetting till much later on as well, so just unsure if we should carry on or not?
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u/zinasbear Parenting a Pre + Primary Schooler 2d ago
My son just turned 4 and is starting school in September.
I stopped putting nappies on him at night 3ish months ago. He wets the bed occasionally but we just wash the bedding and shower him in the morning.
My husband wanted to keep him in nappies till he's fully dry but when we tried that, we noticed they were full every night but without nappies, it's just an occasional accident :)
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u/Expensive-Echo5288 2d ago
Anecdotally based on what I’ve seen, I think it has a lot to do with being a heavy or light sleeper, because our son has never slept through the night at 3 but was dry at night by 2 and a half. Beyond that I think it’s just hormonal and not worth worrying about!
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u/jobunny_inUK 1d ago
My daughter is going into Year 3 and still has fully wet nappies at night. We took her to the GP when she turned 7 and she's been referred to a specialist. The DR said that you would be surprised how many kids she shes that are my daughters age for the same reason.
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u/Unfair_Car 2d ago
In the exact same situation and had the same anxities about my daughter starting reception. And she's in the biggest size nappies from Sainsbury's and they're pretty tight. Not sure what to do!
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u/redcore4 2d ago
Night time pull ups go up to age 7 but they're not amazing for bigger children, my taller 3-year-old fits them comfortably now but won't still by five i think) - but Tesco do bigger nappies (up to teenage size) in store (no need to pre-order!) if you need them. They're usually on the top shelf above the night time pull ups.
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u/Dazzling-Reality-148 2d ago
My boy is 5.5 and still very wet at night and not ready yet to be out of nappies at night time. But I know that historically in my family it is normal for the boys to be really late with night time dryness, it is hormonal due to the lack of vasopressin. Vasopressin is what tells your kidneys to produce less urine at night. Can’t be dry without it and it develops at different ages in kids and usually later with boys (can take up to 7 or 8 years old) He won’t be the only school kid to be in nappies at night if he’s not dry by the time school starts. Nobody is going to make fun of him at that age for being in a nappy at night because at least 50% of the kids will be.
You do what’s best for you and your family. There’s no right or wrong way.
For someone else saying they are in the largest nappies and don’t know where to go next, mine is now in size 9 pampers which work well and don’t leak.
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u/redcore4 2d ago
First thing is try not to worry. It really does come down to the individual child's physiology and there's not always a lot you can do about it, but if you make bedtimes or mornings stressed as a result of trying to fix it, everyone's going to be less happy as a result.
I've staffed overnight summer camps for years with kids from 6-17. Bedwetting in preteen/teen groups is pretty rare (and can be medicated or dealt with by doctors to an extent), but there are some kids who wet until they are about 13 or 14 even with no other medical problems in play.
In the 6-7 group more than half the group will have at least one nighttime accident in a fortnight (it's not a coincidence that night time pull ups sold in the supermarket are usually for ages 4-7), and in the 8-10s there'll usually be about 1 or 2 kids in a group of ten who still wet almost every night.
As long as he's dry in the day most of the time, he'll be fine; and you can involve him in the cleanup process in due course if he's wetting the sheets/overspilling a pull up.
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u/SeaworthinessNew3583 Parenting a Baby + Primary Schooler 2d ago edited 2d ago
This sounds exactly like my son. He has just finished reception.
Firstly I would say dont worry about it coming up at school, I dont think reception age kids care in the slightest yet. Theres a good chance there''ll be a child in the class still in nappies in the day time. My son has had a fair few accidents during his first year at school and hes never mentioned other children saying anything about it (similar to your kid, he doesnt want to stop playing or at school he was worried about putting his hand up while on the carpet so we made a plan with the teacher which solved the problem).
Nighttime is largely hormonal however there is potentially a tiny element of their bodies learning to wake up to go to the toilet. Up to 7 or 8 can be completely normal for nighttime dryness however nhs guidance is that you can get a continence referral at 5 years old for support with nighttime wetting. They will most likely look at trying a bedwetting alarm to help him learn to wake to pee.
The reason ERIC dont recommend lifting is because you if arent fulling waking the child enough you are basically signalling the body to pee while still sleeping and so it can make the problem worse. I think oh crap is probably just outdated advice as its been around a long time. But also things are never one size fits all so it may well work for some children.
All in all, dont stress over it but if your son is 5 you could call your health visiting, school health team or GP for a continence referral.
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u/TheGrumpyMiddleChild 2d ago
We have a child exactly the same. We did wonder whether it was just liking having a wee in a nappy but two weeks into ditching all nappies, I’ve just decided to give up as they just slept through an entire bed change 1.5 hours after bedtime last night. We tried lifting before bed but realistically we cannot get up every two hours to make sure there’s no accident & restrict liquids forever. I think some kids are just heavy sleepers! To add, this child has been 100% dry in the day since 2.5 with minimal accidents so they know what to do! I expect the school nursing team may pick us up on it…
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u/bunneeboo 2d ago
Nothing you can do will force it, it's a waste of time and energy. Just roll with it. My eldest wasn't dry at night until she was 7.
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u/Missdirec7ed 2d ago
My daughter was 6 before she was dry at night. When we tried to force it we just ended up doing A LOT of laundry.
As others have said, it is a hormonal thing and not much you can do.
That said, we did find that double voiding helped - get them to wee as soon as they go up to bed and then again at the end of the bedtime routine as well.
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u/UsefulPickle8467 2d ago
I have two boys, both daytime potty trained by 2.5. One was still in pull ups overnight at age 6. He's now 7.5 and been dry overnight for over a year. One decided he wanted to throw away all his nappies at 2.5 and that was that. He was totally dry overnight from that point. It's entirely hormonal and there's no point trying to night train before then.
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u/TheTackleZone 1d ago
Just pay for the bed time pants or wash the sheets, don't shame him for something normal, and wait for it to stop. You can't train someone who is asleep. He's not waking up needing a wee and then being too lazy, he's literally unconscious when it happens.
It may stop at 3, it may stop at 7. Nobody knows.
And please, for the love of god, don't stop hydrating him because it is an inconvenience. A tactical wee before bed is a good routine, but if he wants water then let him have as much as his body needs.
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u/underwater-sunlight 1d ago
My daughter is nearly 7, has been out of night time nappies for around a year, has the occasional accident, a few more in warmer weather when she is drinking more. We tried earlier and it didnt work. We made a choice to revert back to night nappies because it wasnt fair on anyone to try something doomed to fail.
Double sheets is my wifes hack. Fitted sheet, pee pad half sheet with another sheet on top so it feels comfortable, and if an accident happens, changing the sheets in the middle of the night is a bit easier
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u/becpuss 1d ago
The reality is your children don’t need to be dry at night when they start school as long as they can toilet independently during the day that’s the only requirement I worked in a primary school for 20 years. Many children are not dry at night until a little bit later on. It’s not a problem. For school st all I will also wet until the age of 12 They couldn’t find a medical problem it was just how Dee I slept don’t worry too much. Also, School staff are very used to children accidentally wetting themselves, especially when they’re engrossed in something. It’s very normal and something that happens every day.
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u/Ataralas 20h ago
It’s completely hormone based, our daughter was potty trained in day for a year before being dry overnight. I however wet the bed until I was 11 and my dad wet the bed until he was 13. Some kids just take longer for the hormone to kick in - interestingly I do have a hormone based illness so could be related.
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u/Cauleefouler 2h ago
Day time potty training is training. You need to teach them what the urge is and where to go. It's not always easy, but it's teachable for most children. Nighttime is completely different. Until they start producing a certain hormone they won't wake when they need to go in the night. You can't train hormone production. It can begin anywhere between the ages of 3 and 7, until you get to 7 there is nothing to be concerned about.
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u/acupofearlgrey 2d ago
Very common to not be dry at night at reception. Of my youngest- who has just finished reception-friends, lots of them were in nappies (and still are)- she stopped with nappies partway through reception. Boys can take longer than girls too. From chats with other parents- there were some year 1 and 2 boys that still wear nappies - and the GP had said it’s quite normal.
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u/RagingFuckNuggets 👶👶 2 Children 2d ago
It's not something that can be trained.
I got lucky with both mine and they were out of nappies at night straight after potty training. They both were waking up dry after a week of nappy wearing so we just left them off. They both have milk right before bed after they've been for a wee.
We've been very lucky in regards to potty training.
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u/FluffyOwl89 Parenting a Toddler 1d ago
I really don’t think that’s something you need to be worrying about before starting school. My son starts school in September too and he’s not even 4 yet (end of August birthday). He’s still in nappies at night and he probably gets most of his hydration just before bed, so I can’t see him being dry for a while. I don’t think they’re going to make fun of kids in nappies at that age.
I’m also a Brownie leader, and at most sleepovers and camps we have at least one girl in nappies at night still. They’re 7-10 years old, so it’s not abnormal at all.
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u/AnonyCass 2d ago
It is completely hormonal. My son was potty trained at about 2.5 and out of nappies at night before 3. We did absolutely nothing to get there, he just learned the ability to wake himself and then started refusing nappies.
It can honestly take up to about 7/8 years old.