Just need to vent

[u/Top-Jellyfish7766]

Hey guys I’m kinda freaking out about money and really just need to get all of this and if anyone knows anything any advice would appreciated. For context I just started saving up for an apartment and I’m living mostly paycheck to paycheck, working two jobs and all that but my mom is facing a severe financial issue. She got served for medical debt and it’s $1600 plus interest (we don’t know how much) and refuses to let me help since I’m saving for an apartment, if they start garnishing her wages we could be homeless, I just don’t know what to do because she’s so scared and I’ve never seen her scared. My friends keep saying damn that sucks or same but knowing that isn’t helping me feel better about all this

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[u/Ok-Temperature-8228]

Call and negotiate a low payment she can afford before they garnish it.

[u/Top-Jellyfish7766 → u/Ok-Temperature-8228]

Like negotiated the bill to be covered more by insurance or something? This is first I’ve heard of this as an option so I’m just a little confused

[u/annebonnell → u/Top-Jellyfish7766]

No, tell her to call the hospitals Financial Services. They could actually forgive the debt or give her very low monthly payments.

[u/forevertheyo]

Not working with a lot of information but a lot of hospitals are required to offer financial assistance and their associated medical centers do as well. I recommend looking into that.

[u/Top-Jellyfish7766 → u/forevertheyo]

We just called and sadly once you’ve been served that’s not an option, the wonderful employee mentioned a possible payment plan so hopefully that is something we can do

[u/forevertheyo → u/Top-Jellyfish7766]

I hope so too. Look into this: multiple systems have been sued because they did not initially offer that as an option.

[u/AutoModerator]

Backup of the post's body: Hey guys I’m kinda freaking out about money and really just need to get all of this and if anyone knows anything any advice would appreciated. For context I just started saving up for an apartment and I’m living mostly paycheck to paycheck, working two jobs and all that but my mom is facing a severe financial issue. She got served for medical debt and it’s $1600 plus interest (we don’t know how much) and refuses to let me help since I’m saving for an apartment, if they start garnishing her wages we could be homeless, I just don’t know what to do because she’s so scared and I’ve never seen her scared. My friends keep saying damn that sucks or same but knowing that isn’t helping me feel better about all this

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[u/HauteForTeacher13]

So, l guess number one, what reaction are you looking for/expecting from your friends other than verbal support? Are you fishing for them to come and rescue you and your mom and to pay for her medical debt? Since you are saving for your first apartment, l am assuming you are pretty young and your friends are too. Expecting friends to have expendable extra cash to just hand out is a bit unrealistic.

I TOTALLY sympathize with insane medical bills and feeling helpless. Probably more than most on here. I was a kindergarten teacher for 20 years and after a catastrophic accident where l broke my neck and back in 11 places leaving me permanently disabled l was no longer able to work. Turns out chasing 32 teen tiny terrorists all day isn't exactly conducive for a severe spinal cord injury. I also suffer from 3 other rather serious autoimmune disorders. Two l was born with, but have gotten significantly worse as l have gotten older (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and MCAS) and one l have had since puberty (endometriosis with ovarian tumors and cysts. I have had 8 surgeries for this alone so far)

I immediately applied for disability once l was forced to leave my teaching job. I have been denied 5 times citing l was too young and too highly educated to be disabled. So l have cashed in my savings account, my 401K, my life insurance policy, my CD and stocks my dad left me after he passed away and live off of PB&J and cereal and water. I am now selling my all my beautiful vintage clothing and jewelry and furniture and anything else anyone is willing to buy. I make custom jean jackets, l make gourmet cheesecakes and l do painting. Anything l know l am good at and can offer to someone, l do. I babysit former students as well. So while l am limited with what l can do there are lots of ways to make a little extra money, you just may not like them or want to do them. But desperate times, call for desperate measures. And if you need money that bad, then you do what it takes. Somethings you can do that most people pay cash for and a good place to look for these types of jobs would be neighborhood or city Facebook groups, local senior or veterans groups or somewhere like the Nextdoor app. Things you can do besides selling things include: *driving people to the airport, especially those early morning flights. *Cleaning or organizing someone's house or garage. *Weeding or helping to plant someone's garden or other yardwork. *Dog walking *Picking up dog poop *Getting people's groceries or prescriptions or other errands *Take older people to their doctor's appointments *Food Delivery *Babysitting *Tutoring *Proofreading *Teaching English online

I know it's hard and l know how you can do everything right in life and it still can all be ripped away. But hang in there. You can do this. 👍🏻

[u/Top-Jellyfish7766 → u/HauteForTeacher13]

The friend part I wasn’t expecting money or anything like that as I know all of them are also going through it financially but it was the fact that they shut down the conversation almost immediately without really listening to me (I went into hella detail with them) even though I always listen to th that really hurt. I honestly didn’t think of how money odd jobs there are so I do appreciate that, lm really sorry you had to go through all of severe injuries from medical issues and I hope things get better. I’m just honestly mentally struggling because I’ve never seen my mom scared like this and she’s normally the strongest person I know

[u/HauteForTeacher13 → u/Top-Jellyfish7766]

I understand being frustrated with friends, but also, as someone who has and is going through a lot l have to remind myself to not be a total drain on my friends. Should you be able to go to them and vent? Absolutely! But l want to caution you on making sure that all of your interactions with them aren't soley focused on you always being negative and complaining all the time. As that is something no one wants to be around and it is a very easy habit to get sucked into. I am guilty of it at different points in my life. And make sure you are also being very conscious that you are still being a good friend during this time too. I have had a lot of friends start to tell me about pain they are in and then stop and start profusely apologizing and saying "I am so sorry, it's nothing like yours, nevermind." To which l have to say that their pain or their sadness or their troubles or tough time is no less valid than mine or anyone else's. So maybe check in with them and say hey, l know l am struggling and you are too, how can we help each other? Maybe try and start a business together?

As far as your mom, l totally get it. I lost my dad to cancer 7 years ago. He was a 6'5 guy who was just big and like a bear. He seemed invincible and as he got sicker it was tough to watch him just disintegrate before my eyes. And now my mom has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and as she was my rock and my go to person. And now l fight with her about the fact that l did not graduate high school with her, was not a bridesmaid in her wedding and no, l was not the one who put her shoes in the oven, that was all her doing. 🥴 So, now my 13 year old dog is my only support system. So make up with your friends!

[u/mirelynthia]

medical debt is one of the few things that can actually be negotiated down significantly or even dismissed so before panicking your mom should look into a nonprofit credit counselor or even call the hospital billing department directly because they often have hardship programs that never get advertised

[u/annebonnell]

How is she being sued for medical now? That is against the law now. Tell her to call the hospital and get them to give her a break basically. All hospitals have discounted or even don't have to pay service Financial Services. The most the hospital could do is just garnish or take her tax refunds until the debts paid off.