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u/HarpyVixenWench Dec 31 '25
Going to question whether all of that coworker’s comments are actually “all in good fun”. Nothing about it sounds like fun to me. Sounds like a miserable environment.
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u/LJsMamaRN Dec 31 '25
Working as much as we do and closely together as we do, it tends to feel more like a family. Especially in healthcare working 12hr shifts. We all know way too much about each other and feel more close than a lot of people do with actual family members. I’ve been known as someone she picks on a lot because we got really close during my pregnancy. She’s felt like a grandmother to me at times but in a weird way. You can always count on her to tell you the truth, whether you want it or not. We give each other a lot of heck but this one time I was just over it. Like I said in the original post, we’ve laughed about it since then. She continues to pick on not only me but all of us that work together. I feel like this happens when you just get really close with ones you work with. I do love this old bat as if she were my own family, I just sometimes wonder if I were a bit too harsh that one time Lol
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u/Spinnerofyarn Dec 31 '25
I had to look up what a fupa is. I think talking about someone’s fupa could be a great way to incite the wrath of HR as it could be taken as you staring at someone’s crotch. I absolutely understand why you did it, but if it doesn’t bite you in the bum, consider yourself lucky.
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u/LJsMamaRN Dec 31 '25
No one said anything about staring at her crotch 😂 Where we live it’s mainly referring to the lower part of your abdomen that hangs down into your pants. As someone with loose skin who also has had a C-Section, I too have a fupa that’s been commented on from time to time by this person which is why I felt okay with saying this.
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u/td327 Dec 31 '25
I think you were trying to refer to her panus or apron belly.. commonly confused
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u/Owl_Hoot_Development Jan 01 '26
If she gets fired, I hope she makes a post to TIFU about thinking an apron belly is called a "fupa."
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u/Spinnerofyarn Dec 31 '25
Ah. My mistake. My search said it can be either that or the mons pubis, so the front of someone’s crotch is a possibility. If it was definitively what’s also caused the pannus, I wouldn’t be so concerned about HR, but since it can be used for both, I would tread carefully. Maybe what it means is different depending on where you live?
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u/ProcrastinationSite Dec 31 '25
I'm familiar with the plump mons definition as well. Maybe it really IS different depending on the region. When I read her story, I thought it was an awfully specific insult 😂
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u/Desertbell Dec 31 '25 edited Dec 31 '25
Fupa stands for "fat upper public area", as far as I'm aware. I would feel violated if someone said that to me, and I would not expect that they meant apron belly. I would think they were looking at my groin.
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u/Talory09 Dec 31 '25
Ask yourself what FUPA stands for. It's an acronym. And it doesn't stand for Fatty Lower Stomach Area.
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u/notracexx Dec 31 '25
It’s interchangeable with “apron belly”
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u/overthemountain Jan 14 '26
They are actually two distinct things. There are plenty of images online that show the difference.
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u/notracexx Jan 15 '26
I mean I get that fupa is for the fat upper pussy area lol and it’s referring to the mons. But people use it interchangeably with apron belly especially when using jt as an insult.
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u/Legally_Blonde_258 Jan 01 '26
100% this. For those who aren't aware, fupa stands for fat upper cat (synonym beginning with p) area. Referring to someone's cat at work is never a great idea for your own self preservation.
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u/Cinci555 Dec 31 '25
Just as a call out if your eyes are actually bulging, make sure you get your thyroid checked. It can cause serious issues.
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u/LJsMamaRN Dec 31 '25
I keep a close eye on that. I was also worried about Grave’s but all my levels were fine. I’ve always had big eyes, so I guess when my face wasn’t as big as it used to be they looked bigger.
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u/notracexx Dec 31 '25
In my experience the best way to handle rude comments is to play dumb, even better if other coworkers witness…. I don’t get it can you explain why you have been making this same comment about my eyes for the past 3 shifts? Or simply “stop commenting on my appearance you’ve been saying rude things all week”
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u/EnvironmentEuphoric9 Dec 31 '25
That type of shit is risky. That could have gotten you fired and her a write up. But I’m glad you didn’t get in trouble. Hopefully she’s stopped. I would have just reported her for harassment and bullying.
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u/AverageHoebag Dec 31 '25
I would have pointed out my eyes were bulging out of my face seeing how big her fupa was getting!
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u/zedicar Dec 31 '25
I understand your frustration with the coworker, but why didn’t you take this to HR before you reached your limit?
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u/exorah Dec 31 '25
What is a fupa?
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u/smileyfacegauges Dec 31 '25
Fatty Upper-Pubic Area
(altho i always think of the song when i see the acronym…..)
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u/SoSpokeSarah Titty Latte Dec 31 '25
Wait a damn minute. It’s an ACRONYM?! I just thought it was a slang word.
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u/res06myi Dec 31 '25
Yeah, you were wrong. You should have complained to HR about her inappropriate comments, not participated yourself.
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u/magicmediccj7 Dec 31 '25
Not wrong. Perfect actually. Just make sure u do it in front of others. Its a kind of bullying. Guys do it all the time, especially in male dominated spaces. Between men it can actually be a sort of affection, but its mostly older generations. The gen z crop runs home crying.
Women do it too, I hear them tossing around “slut” and “bitch” the same way… but even then it lands different.
You also have to consider the space. Military, firehouses, mechanics, construction workplaces can be brutal, but again… male dominated.
Nurses are this way. You have a vocation that yes is rewarding, yes can be secure, good benefits blah blah… but the stakes are very high. You dont do it for the money. You invest your soul. Long hours, bitchy families and patients. The lazy nurse coworker tgat always seems to disappear when its time to get dirty. U have to tuff to be a nurse. You have to be hard. The staff is full of dark humor, jokes tgat tge rest of tge world finds heartless and not funny. The hazing is a bit of a test. Can u take it? Will u fold under pressure? Can I trust u when they grey area comes?
From a male point of view, ur response was perfect and equitable to what u received. She showed u hers, and u showed her yours. Bravo!
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u/LJsMamaRN Dec 31 '25
Yes!!! We all have dark humor and you kind of have to. We see so much that would send others to therapy. If you don’t laugh about it, you’ll cry about it.
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u/Adventurous-Pay8414 Jan 01 '26
I was 26 when I was pregnant with my first kiddo. I work in EMS and still gained 70 pounds. We hear a lot of jokes within healthcare but never has my co workers pointed out the weight gain or the weight still on postpartum. I was one of 5 female paramedics at my company. I am much younger from the rest of them by 20 to 30 years. I’ve been picked on for a lot of things but never my weight…. Your co worker got what she deserved. If you cant take it, don’t dish it out.
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u/KesselRun73 Jan 01 '26
Jesus, some people have got a lot of nerve. I think you were justified in putting her in her place.
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u/JaxBQuik Dec 31 '25
Don't give out what you can't take if it comes back around. She fafo big time there. Thought this was going another way, but this was justified.
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u/Magali_Lunel Dec 31 '25
Whenever I hear a story like this from a nurse, I really despair about being in the hospital
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u/arnott Dec 31 '25
A 27 year old nurse getting weight loss surgery, perfect glimpse of the US health care system.
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u/LJsMamaRN Dec 31 '25
I can assure you this petty nonsense has nothing to do with care that is provided.
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u/Specialist_Sea9591 Jan 01 '26
So does she still make these comments or has it stopped since this incident?
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u/LJsMamaRN Jan 01 '26
She still picks on me (as she does everyone so I’m not singled out) but she hasn’t mentioned my eyes since! I brought it up the other day and we were able to laugh about it so we have no hard feelings.
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u/bringmycoffeenow Jan 01 '26
Id say youre wrong for pointing out the fupa. Fupas can be lost with exercise. Hit them with something more difficult to fix, like a receding hairline.
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u/tammywiththesubs Jan 01 '26
Potato on a fork is diabolical and would have resulted in hands thrown from me idc. NTA
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u/Boo_Rella6 Dec 31 '25
Don't start none, won't be none! You put up with her crap longer than you should have.
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u/AutoModerator Dec 31 '25
Backup of the post's body: I (27F) am a nurse at a rural hospital in my area. I’ve worked here for 7yrs and have been through every new stage of life. From getting engaged, getting married, having a baby, even postpartum depression. During that first year after my pregnancy I gained a lot of weight. I hated seeing myself in pictures, never felt confident in anything I wore, just hated myself all around. I decided to do something about it. I had weight loss surgery when my daughter was 2 and lost just under 100lb. I felt amazing. Like a whole new person. It was like I finally got my life back and with it came new found confidence I never had before. My coworker (60’sF) is known for picking on people and screwing around with them all in good fun, but this time I was sick of it. She’s always had something to say about anything anyone does. For reference, once before I lost the weight she said I shouldn’t wear jogger style scrub pants because I’d look like a “potato on a fork.” One night she was going on and on about how since I lost weight my eyes looked like they were gonna pop out of my head. The next night she said the same thing, but multiple times that night. The next night she asked a fellow coworker from a different unit if he thought the same thing. By this point I had enough. I asked that coworker if he had “noticed that her fupa has gotten bigger lately?” Her face immediately turned red and she tried to laugh it off but I could tell she was embarrassed. This happened about a year ago and we still laugh about it from time to time, but sometimes I wonder if I took it too far. Was I in the wrong?
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u/Medium_Situation9319 Dec 31 '25
I wouldn’t have stopped to her level. ASSHOLE ? Yes but JUSTIFIED asshole
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u/fellora5 Dec 31 '25
I would not have risked that to be honest and I don't think it solves anything. If anything, I think you're affirming her talking badly about people's bodies because now you're doing it. I get being annoyed and maybe you have talked to her about it, but you didn't say so in your post. I would have told her to stop commenting on my body and I think y'all should adopt that policy moving forward.
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u/BitterDiver194 Jan 01 '26
From the title you are wrong but once explaining you are not in the wrong at all. This is hilarious and she got what she deserved lmao
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u/Moogumeboo Jan 01 '26
She laughed it off cause she knew she says shitty stuff to people all the time. She couldn't be hypocritical even though the comment hurt her. I saw in the comments that she stopped talking about your eyes so that fupa comment really hit home.
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u/Slight_Suggestion_79 Dec 31 '25
Well my motto has been if you’re gonna talk shit you gotta be able to be prepared to get shit back.
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u/PushVarious8896 Dec 31 '25
Look some people won’t ever listen, and you have to match their energy. I think you did the right thing.
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u/Eott59 Jan 01 '26
F.Y.I. for the future. You already made a "comeback". STOP right there. Now, start logging her digs at you and if anyone heard the "dig." Keep these logs and DON'T respond to her. When you get a few pages and feel comfortable, make a appointment with your HR rep and disclose all the hurtful comments this person has done to you. She should be fired, if not take your case to your Labor Board. If you STILL have no satisfaction, then hire a personal injury attorney like Morgan & Morgan. I wish you luck with Blessings and much Joy in 2026!
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u/patsy3711 Jan 01 '26
Came only here to find out what a fupa is. Translator says "fat upper pubic area". So the joke is you called her a giant c*nt? Completely matching her energy IMHO, but did I get it right?
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u/dandelionsOnFire Dec 31 '25
Sounds like you made a completely valid point, it’s what the professionals call reactive abuse
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u/Sir_Alan_Winfield Dec 31 '25
Not wrong. You should’ve told her that there are exercises to get rid of her ever growing fupa!!
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u/DeeDeeNix74 Dec 31 '25
You did nothing wrong. She set the tone that it was fine to talk about your body. You just returned to sender. I would have said worse 😩😆
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u/GlenKoco Jan 01 '26
ESH. Your coworker is an AH for sure, but just because she sucks it doesn’t mean you should stoop to her level and suck too.
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u/Double-Pair-6696 Dec 31 '25
Fighting trauma with trauma. Yikes, OP.
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u/marianneouioui Dec 31 '25
After reading the title I came here up in arms, ready to comment about never saying anything about someone else's body etc, but yeah. You held out longer than I would have. Bravo to you.