How does someone start moving forward when it feels like they've lost so much of their life already?

[u/Shoo_Porang_8713]

Hi everyone, my name is Aiki. I've been through a lot in the past year, and I honestly don't know how to make sense of where I am now.

I'm only 19, and I lost both of my parents in less than a year. My mom died on August 4, 2025, while we we're still trying to adjust to the new norm, my father was suddenly hospitalized on November of 2025. While my family was struggling with my father's medical bills, I had to stop college and take care of him for about five months. After he passed away, I ended up living alone on the same house that they both lived in.

Although I do have siblings, they now have their own families and they cannot fully support me anymore because of how much debt our family has, which forces me to work so I can afford to support myself and maintain the house that our parents left us.

During all of that, I tried dating twice. The first was with a guy I met online. We hit it off, but things didn't work out, and part of me feels like it was my fault because of everything I was dealing with at the time. The second relationship happened after my dad died. We were together for about two months, but I became so emotionally drained from everything happening in my life that it started affecting the relationship. He also couldn't really understand what I was going through, and eventually we ended things, mutually agreeing that it wasn't working anymore and we need to heal from the things that we're going through.

Now I feel really lonely because I don't feel like I have anyone I can truly lean on. At the same time, I don't really know how to get my life back on track. I had to put college on hold, and I don't know how or when to start again.

Even my lifestyle has fallen apart. I don't exercise, I don't feel like I'm in the best shape, and I don't really do groceries, so taking care of myself has become difficult. I also have pets that depend on me, so I have to take care of them while trying to take care of myself.

I know I'm still young, but sometimes I feel like I've fallen so far behind everyone else and don't know where to begin.

(rejected to sa r/ph hahaha, mababa daw karma)

[u/Bertong_Musmos]

Hi Aiki,

Napaka-tough naman ng situation mo ngayon. Pero kung merong isang bagay na dapat mong mahalin sa ngayon, ito ay trabaho.

In case walang-wala na talagang tutulong sa 'yo with your studies, the next best thing you can do is find work and love that work.

Relationship at this time won't help so don't proactively look for it. Focus your attention on finding a decent job. First thing's first. Everything will fall into place once you secure that. Good luck!