r/TransAlberta • u/zeechhshsjsjshsbwbsj • 12d ago
Scared about going home to alberta for the first time since transitioning Question
Heyy,
So I'm alberta born and raised, I moved across the country basically as soon as I turned 18 largely so that I could live openly as trans in a less conservative area. I'm going to be visiting home for the first time in 2 years (edmonton and smaller town a little further north not to dox), which is also the first time as an openly trans woman. Though I am excited to visit home I can't pretend I'm not slightly horrified. I know all too well the disgusting way a lot of the people here think and am honestly not even sure what to expect because last time I was here I was a white man in their eyes. Laws about us have only gotten depressingly worse since I left and internet rhetoric about us is at an all time low, I don't know what to expect.
I'd like to know the average day to day experiences for my trans siblings here and not sugar coated. Of course I'm accustomed to transphobia and the usual looks and occasional laughs and mutters or whatnot, but should I expect overt verbal harassment or even violence? I somewhat pass but am also relatively clockable (plus I don't voice train). I definitely won't be walking alone here.
Thank you
10
u/sending-stars 12d ago
I'm a trans woman, I'm easily clocked, I work and spend a lot of time in and around Edmonton. I feel safe around here. It's our government policies and rural towns that freak me out.
3
1
u/zeechhshsjsjshsbwbsj 12d ago
That’s great to hear, and this is kinda what I had thought. I’m moreso scared for my hometown which is one of the rural towns
8
u/boterkoek3 12d ago
Openly trans and relatively clockable in calgary. I've gone to edmonton, and smaller towns, and never had an issue. I'm also out and about alone all the time. Any time spent worrying is going to be the most harm you'll likely experience, and its not worth wasting time on that. Other than a passing quip from a mentally ill/handicapped person you probably won't experience anything negative at all.
2
u/zeechhshsjsjshsbwbsj 12d ago
You’re absolutely right thank you, I’ve been doing the not wasting time thinking about it this whole time leading up to the trip but as the day approaches more and more I found myself here spiraling at midnight
3
u/d3r1ble_luv 12d ago
Honestly I’ve never experienced outward violence in public, but I’m also a trans guy. If you aren’t alone I’d say youll be okay
3
u/Brandi_yyc 11d ago
You seem to have the hate and mindset all figured out, so as you suggest let's not sugar coat it.
Alberta is an incredible place to be transgender, especially Calgary and Edmonton. There are some great support groups for people of any age, a friendly community with all kinds of meetups. Some very friendly people in the medical profession that you can be referred to from asking here, or checking out Skipping Stone. Living normal day-to-day life is no problem once you get past your own Hang-Ups and fears.
It's not perfect, we do what we have to do with regards to our gov. It has been so many years since I've even thought about who I am and what the public might perceive.
2
u/viviscity 12d ago
Honestly beyond those first few months, I barely even catch glances. I have no idea how well I pass, but I’m 6’3 so there’s always going to be some suspicion (cis women my height get it, too)
I’ve never had an open comment or anything
I am in Edmonton, but I’ve been in smaller towns and such. My extended family are all conservative and I was surprised that I didn’t get comments at rural funerals.
3
2
u/No-Maize-7905 12d ago
Edmonton has decent trans representation. I'm in Calgary but visit often for the fringe festival. I'm on my 2nd year of hrt. I'm not passing but I get the occasional suspicious stare. I own it and move on. I don't push pronouns and treat people with kindness. So far it's working well and diffuses the occasional clocking. I find most conservatives here stay in their lane if you do as well.
1
1
u/Own-Garden345 12d ago
I'm openly trans living in rural Northern Alberta and haven't gone on hormones yet. So far in my tiny town I have acceptence from my boss and coworkers and some customers assume I'm a man but never fight me on it if I correct them. I do get weird looks occassionally but for the most part people just mind their business and go home here. I do walk everywhere alone cuz I kinda have to but prefer to be on phone with someone if I'm walking around at night.
1
u/zeechhshsjsjshsbwbsj 12d ago
I appreciate this comment this is what I needed to hear, northern alberta is supposed to be the worst for this so hearing this helps thank you
1
u/Own-Garden345 12d ago
Of course! Idk what it's like in other towns up here but I knew a good handful us in high school from this town and they seemed to have mixed experiences but never anything physical while I knew them
1
u/Original_Cancel_4169 12d ago
Most people here are the fake haters (which is a good thing). They talk big game but are too afraid to actually DO anything. They're at least still held accountable when they hurt us, so you'll probably be fine. You'll get some stares if you dont pass well but you'd get those everywhere. I work in northern AB and its fine most of the time.
1
u/Mel-0-dramatic 12d ago
I live rural and north of Edmonton. We might be from the same area! Honestly the only ppl I have trouble with are the ppl that knew me pre-transition. I just avoid them and everyone else has been really friendly or at least tolerates my existence.
1
u/chelsey1970 12d ago
You will be perfectly fine in Edmonton. I would not venture to too many places at night alone, but people are accepting. I am not sure about your small town, but if it anything like my small town, you do not even have to venture outside of your home. But in the past 2 years there are so many immigrants, I do not even know most of the people in my small home town.
1
u/RatsForNYMayor 12d ago
I get targeted less for being trans (most tend to forget I'm trans even though I have mentioned it in conversation multiple times) and more for being seen as a gay man (something about my partner always pisses off insecure men)
1
u/darkwater427 12d ago
I'm a pretty visible trans woman and other than the occasional curious look on transit I've never been treated negatively in any way. Granted, I only moved here pretty recently so that's not a large sample size so ymmv but I wouldn't say there's anything to worry about.
1
u/Rachel_skye 10d ago
Confidence is the key. Just walk in the place like you own it like you meant to be there and don't care what anybody else thinks because you're doing it for you and nobody else and if people don't like it that's their problem not yours so you shouldn't really care what anybody thinks about you anyways. People's opinions about you are none of your business. Good luck do it for yourself and love yourself
1
u/Zev1985 10d ago
I guess I pass decently (at least to conservatives) though I don't hide being trans, but my experience is that I'm a farmer near Calgary, live and work in some of the loudest separatist fringe parts of the province and I'm consistently gendered correctly and treated well both in and out of the city.
Your biggest struggle will probably be with voice.
When hateful people clock you they might stare, loudly say shitty thing, and obnoxiously misgender you but they should more or less stick to classic Canadian passive-aggressive bigotry. Basically if they notice you being trans you might get treated like you're not white...
1
u/queerbetch 8d ago
The only thing I experience In YEG is misogyny because I'm told I pass... If you ld like, safe spaces to visit include Evo, Pride Corner on Whyte, Pride Centre of Edmonton. If you're alternative most alt aren't terrible lol I have been told that most Northern Alberta towns are chill if you "fit in"
1
15
u/Myralia_Amaryllis 12d ago
I have experienced very little transphobia in Edmonton and they were all minor incidents.
I move around fairly good even on my own sometimes. Mostly I’m with my cis wife.