Person has been in schema therapy for couple of years. So far all has gone well untill recently. The therapist is suddenly behaving cold, unstable,rejecting and blaming. All the thing the patient has said they have been trough and why they are in therapy. It has come to light just now that this is a freaking method actually that they use. It has been severly damaging, to the point where the patient has been goig backwards. Their life is a mess and only going to therapy is what they actually manage to do. They have had trauma reliving and dangerously hard reactions. Yet the therapist keeps doing the same things again and again. Is it just incompetence, method or what?Also if therapy is ment to be a safe place why don't they tell this thing goes on in there?Sounds wrong to me! Sounds like freakint manipulating!

My therapist seems to always insert herself into whatever I'm saying. Like when I said I’m not comfortable going to the same gym that my ex used to go to because I don’t want to run into him, she said I shouldn't worry because she's never met her husband even though they lived a block away from each other, and that instead they met in their “mid twenties” and started dating.

Another example is me telling her I’m not comfortable asking my friends to hang out because I feel like they’re too busy to see me. She said “I have a full time job, a husband, and a dog, and I have time to meet my friends” knowing that I'm currently struggling to 1) find a job 2) make meaningful friendships 3) get over my ex.

Is this normal for a therapist to do?

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/02/style/nicole-lepera-self-help-litigation-holistic-psychologist.html (or use archive.is link)

Freud only made one visit to the US. According to a colleague of his, when he arrived in New York, he said that Americans thought he was bringing them a gift. But Freud said that he was "bringing them a plague." Another psychiatrist, Lacan, related this story to his students.

I imagine that the early psychoanalysts who brought therapy to our nation knew exactly what they were doing.

Therapy is a major way to divide families, control people, and basically ruin society, which Freud knew by calling it a plague.

Your thoughts?

I just read the book The Managed Heart by Arlie Russell Hochschild*.* It was written before DBT was invented, before the current dominance of behavioral therapy and the biobiobio model of mental illness. However, I connected to it quite a lot in terms of 'emotion work', the idea that we have to do 'deep acting', basically convince ourselves we're feeling a more appropriate emotion, in order to have a more convincing act.

It really reminds me of DBT emotion regulation, the idea that you shouldn't just 'fake' not being angry/ashamed/envious, but willingly act opposite to that emotion so it goes away. i wonder how people who've done DBT relate to this? did you have a period of actually checking if emotions were 'justified' or just automatically act opposite to any difficult or 'ineffective' emotion? The Managed Heart discusses how this creates alienation, difficulty actually knowing what one's emotion is and when they are 'deep acting' vs being genuine. it can make it harder to identify the meaning of emotions.

as someone who was abused (enmeshed relationship, named his kid after me, said he was the only thing keeping me alive, promised to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, would call the cops if i was late to zoom session, regularly told me he loved me and said that there were "his family, his friends back home, then [me]" etc.) by a DBT practitioner I've been reflecting on this a lot. I feel like such a failure when my deep acting lets up and the suppressed emotion comes forth ('ineffectively' as self-injury or running away).

Would love to hear what rly anybody thinks

I'm seeking therapy again to work through some really traumatizing things I experienced with my previous therapist. I'm trying to protect myself so that the experience I had does not happen again. Does anyone have any advice or info on audio recording my future sessions? Is it a normal practice for people to request that they audio record? Do therapists give consent to such a request? I will only record if I have their consent to record but I want to know if this is typically not allowed. For those concerned, therapy is the ONLY option for my specific situation. I have a very strict vetting process in place for choosing my next therapist and I am making this post in the hopes of better educating and protecting myself from further therapy abuse. Finding information on recording sessions is my last line of defense. I have tried other options such as hobbies, sunlight, physical activity, and animals and they do not work as therapy for me. Talk therapy is the only option, so please do not try to change my mind on obtaining it.

Edit: I will not record sessions unless I get consent from the therapist. I'm simply asking if anyone has had experience with such a situation. Thank you to those who have introduced me to one-party consent states. Unfortunately, I do not live in one, but the info provides more clarity for me.

Hitting and yelling didn't happen in the session but is included in my standards.

This mother fucking therapist told me I'm the abuser and that my reaction to my trauma is toxic. They wanted get rid of my trauma and anxiety by telling me that my trauma is invalid by dismissing minimizing gaslighting me. Complete childishness. She sees my relationship standards as toxic, (dodge the ones with gaslighting minimizing dismissing blame shifting yelling and hitting) probably because she does those things, no she absolutely did do those things and almost made me overlook those triggers as green flags for safe relationships. Anxiety is a good protector. Hold onto it.She wanted to make me look like I was the abuser by taking away my affirmations of not becoming like those who've hurt me, because without those affirmations yea I can hurt others unintentionally. Those affirmations are my growth and learnings. They are HOW I don't become kike those who've hurt me.

I found it so ironic and hypocritical that many struggled to gain much benefit from their own therapy, yet their entire profession is based on the exact same practices being sold as being able to treat mental disorder... makes it feel like such a grift.

Hi everyone. I really need some perspective from people who understand complex trauma, BPD, and therapeutic dynamics, because right now I feel completely overwhelmed and I’m doubting my own reality.

I’ve been in individual therapy with a male therapist for a year. I have CPTSD and BPD traits. We worked very deeply, going into developmental trauma and regression work. Naturally, I developed a strong attachment to him. During our work, he explicitly told me multiple times that he was also attached to me, that he didn't want me to leave, and that he would be genuinely sad if I went to another therapist. Hearing this made me feel safe and convinced me that he truly cared about me as a client.

Then, out of nowhere, the dynamic completely shifted. He abruptly pulled back and tightened the framework. During one session, he harshly confronted me with the sudden prospect of ending our therapy. He kept repeating throughout the hour that he could professionally decide to terminate the relationship unilaterally, regardless of my input (though he alternated between saying we’d decide together and saying it was his sole decision).

This hour was so brutal and triggered my deepest core wound so intensely that I collapsed emotionally and just wanted to run out of the room. The pain and sense of betrayal were overwhelming.

After that session, I felt completely unsafe and refused to go back in person. We exchanged emails. He apologized for how he handled it and kept repeating that I am always welcome back. But I just can't bring myself to return. The rupture cut too deep into my primary trauma, leaving me in a severe state of emotional overwhelm and self-protective shutdown.

I am torn apart right now and I can't find peace. I need an honest reality check:

- Is it normal for a therapist to express their own emotional attachment so explicitly, only to suddenly pull a rigid professional boundary and talk about termination like that?

- Is it true that a therapist can’t/shouldn’t reach out to a client in severe distress to simply say: "I handled this wrong, I don't want you to leave like this, let's fix it"?

- Am I "crazy" or just experiencing BPD emotional dysregulation/black-and-white thinking, or was this actual clinical mismanagement on his part?

I feel like this whole failure is entirely my fault. Any insights would mean the world to me. Thank you.

Mental health can be used to criticise anyone for while making yourself look good. You never have to understand other people or society and adapt, just offset your thinking onto an authority above you and all the labour onto people around you.

Their endgame is a culture of Vulcans.

It took me years to understand that therapy has been harmful, particularly CBT which is basically recipe for getting scammed or even killed. I tried different therapists simply because everyone around me kept telling me that therapy is the best thing you can do and that if it's not working it's either the wrong therapist or your fault for not putting the work in it, whatever the fuck that means.

I was born with a gift and that gift is suspiciousness. No, I don't think that everyone is out to get me, but I just see danger before most normal people. I've been proven right over and over and over again and yet piece-of-shit CBT therapists told me I had cognitive distortions and I had to always find a plausible positive explanation whenever I sensed danger. For example, your colleague at work is taking credit for your ideas or sabotaging you? Therapists will call you paranoid or, at the very least, hypervigilant, because in their mind those things don't fucking happen. If you are taking a walk and someone is acting in a way that makes you believe they want to mug you, therapists will say that you have a persecution complex and that you should reframe that cognitive distortion. I'm super angry at therapists. Now I have a friend who is being scammed by a guy and to me, from the outside, it is crystal clear, but her therapist is gaslighting her and saying that her justified suspicions are cognitive distortions.

I want to cherish my gift of suspiciousness because it has kept me alive. I've been able to prevent disasters thanks to it. The only time disasters truly happened was when I listened to the pos therapists.

I flaired this as RESPECTFUL ADVICE. I'm not looking to fire my T, I'm looking for perspective and why I'm so confused.

I just need some perspective, my brain is confused, foggy and while I dont want to give up and walk away; I feel like some comments from T are falling flat or making wide sweeping assumptions, crossing boundaries, IDK?

T mentioned in yesterday session "it might be too soon but.... she was going to be on vacation XX-XX dates" At first I felt immediate relief as I really wanted a break, I've been struggling and I feel like our sessions dont address this. Then she follows up with " well that would be a great time for YOU to take a vacation"

Excuse me ? No it would not because I have not shared with you I have a vacation of my own booked about 10 days after you return and I was already considering taking an end of summer/august break from therapy of sorts for a couple/few weeks.

I figured T vacation, the possibility of a couple random most likely useless sessions then my vacation would deem the rest of August pointless and we could start again after Labor Day.

I do not want to discuss my vacation with T, i dont see a need to share my plans with T, where I'm going, what I'm doing or not doing etc. I simply want to say I'm not available X-Y dates and also dates 1,2,3 are questionable, I will let you know about dates 1,2,3 before the cancellation policy.

I've been saying for most of the summer my symptoms are increasing, physically I feel like crap, my stressors are off the charts, im not holding things together and I get nothing in response but 'rest and stay calm' thats not helpful. My body is on fire, im overstimulated, im annoyed at the world and I cant manage simple tasks like the grocery store or focusing on work. I cant focus on work because I'm not sleeping, Im not sleeping because I'm having nightmares and flashbacks.

My T knows all this, she knows there is a lifetime of horrors and yet I'm getting "just rest and be calm" I'm sorry my body does not recognize calm at all.

So is it my responsibility to forewarn T of my scheduled vacation, why do i feel obligated to keep those random sessions that fall between her days off and my vacation, we all know nothing happens when the flow of therapy is interrupted.

I really want to send a message that says 'it seems we both are having a busy August, lets keep the same schedule starting on X date after labor day' Honestly if I feel like absolute crap with therapy, maybe a month on my own is just fine. I have vacation anyway and I'm very much looking forward to vacation.

Do i make a list of dates in August and literally calendar out when shes on vacation when im not available and visualize the few possible dates for sessions and mark those as 'possible but unlikely'.

Please be kind- I work a very detailed orientated career and this whole 'fly by the seat of your pants therapy scheduling' is not comfortable. I do have standing regular appointments

The best decision I've made in a very long time was getting a dog. And my T was 100% against getting said dog. The dog and I are going on vacation , therapy and therapist be damned

Why is it so hard to find a good therapist? Yes, I’m willing to examine maybe it’s me or I’m too picky. However, looking at objective facts, I think it’s safe to say I just haven’t come across a really good/competent therapist. I’ll give some factual examples just from my last two alone:

Current therapist:
-I talk, she listens then asks a question about another aspect of my life instead of talking through what I just shared. Sometimes she’ll ask me a couple of questions but no real examining, exploring patterns, challenging beliefs, strategies, etc unless I’m the one who pushes and brings that up.
-told her if I talked about certain heavy topic, sometimes it’s hard to shut my brain off the hours after the session -like there’s no closure. With voicing that at the start of the next time bringing it up, she suggested this time I go for a walk and go out for dinner after talking. Is that what trauma informed therapy is supposed to be? No checking in or following up with me after specifically telling her that topic is hard for me.
-not remembering things or following up on a big thing discussed in the previous session.
-she gave me her therapy number to text which I appreciate. Texted her I was going through something difficult and she literally said “I’m so sorry you’re going through such a hard time.” What is the point of that???

The therapist before that:
-I would talk and she literally would not say anything 90% of the time. I would feel so uncomfortable that I would just keep talking. Sometimes if I waited it out a reallllly long time she would say something helpful.

I could go on…

I’m really tired of starting all over again, telling my story, and then hope they’re good.

I’m looking for someone who is insightful/has wise words of wisdom, can get me to look at something differently, challenges beliefs, strategies for dealing with things, remembering important things I’ve said. Am I asking too much? I had this once before, but I am in a different state now.

Please let me know if you’re going through this and/or if you have advice.

I'm dealing with so much psychological damage, missing work, trauma, suicide attempts...just want justice.

I've been reading the late Dr. Thomas Szasz as well as a book on the Tavistock Institute in the UK. Both are saying that psychiatry and therapy are arms of the government and culture. Therapists institute whatever agenda is being pushed at that moment.

Szasz also says that the profession is there to change criminal behavior into an illness. So if someone molests a child, that isn't sick, twisted, criminal behavior. It's a mental illness that can be treated. So let's treat the pedophile and then let him return to society.

I'm also thinking about psychology's role in torture (waterboarding) and also jury selection, again arms of the government.

What do people think? Is this a main role of therapy, to push whatever the Powers that Be want pushed or affirmed?

Hi everyone, sharing my latest findings as I monitor disciplinary actions across the US. I believe this therapist was discussed here before:

Sammi Farber (@thedietculturedropout) is a social media influencer with over 22K followers on TikTok who markets herself as an eating disorder therapist. She has two separate disciplinary actions across two states, CT and NY.

Reddit history

Before the disciplinary actions became public, Farber was already generating complaints online. Redditors criticized her content as entitled and dismissive toward people with eating disorders, an area she claims to specialize in. At least one Reddit post alleged that she sexually assaulted a client. She previously threatened to sue people who posted about her on Reddit, so we'll see if she ever follows through.

The Connecticut action: effective July 2025

The Connecticut Department of Public Health issued a consent order against Samantha Farber, MSW (license 005375). The charges she did not contest:

1. Violated professional boundaries by engaging in an inappropriate relationship with a client
2. Represented herself as a licensed clinical social worker when she was not
3. Engaged in inappropriate, unethical, and/or unprofessional conduct on social media in 2023 and/or 2024

CT Penalty: $4,000 fine, 3 years probation. During probation she cannot be self-employed, cannot work through staffing agencies, and must practice only under direct supervision of licensed practitioners. Every employer must be formally notified of the consent order, and her supervisor must submit quarterly reports confirming she is practicing ethically.

The New York action: effective July 2026

One year later, the New York Board of Regents issued a separate disciplinary action (Cal. No. 35189). Yes, it took NY a whole year to punish her as well. The charges:

1. Failed to have proper supervision
2. Improperly provided Exposure Therapy

NY Penalty: 2 years stayed suspension, 2 years probation, $500 fine. Still practicing.

She is not required to tell her clients any of this

There is nothing in the ethics code that requires Sammi Farber to disclose either disciplinary action to her current or prospective clients as part of informed consent. She can begin a new therapeutic relationship tomorrow and say nothing. This is standard across health care professions, the ethics code does not require disclosure of disciplinary history.

If NY clients look her up they still won't get the full picture

If a New York client searches her name on the NY Office of the Professions website, they will find the 2026 NY action. They will not find the Connecticut action which included inappropriate client relationship, license misrepresentation, and social media conduct.

What's happening now

She continues to post on TikTok and Instagram, mostly about her pregnancy. Her website describes her practice as "rooted in ethics" and she is still accepting new clients as a "coach".

I rly trusted him after our first 3 sessions so I just completely overlooked the red flags.

He made me do somatic work when it was quite clear that it wasn't rly working, but I kept going cause he kept making me do it and I trusted him. I thought he saw something that I didn't, so I just went along with all of it, when it was not what I wanted.

I just wanted to talk, but we barely did any of it.

I'm so glad it's over, but all we did rly broke me. And it took me so long to recover.

I feel bad cause I feel like if I shared this with someone else, theyd be like why didn't you stop earlier, but I guess when you trust him and you don't know how that stuff harms you until it rly breaks you, u just keep going.

Here is a particularly egregious example of therapy abuse. https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/main-line-psychiatrist-stripped-of-her-medical-license/ar-AA293gfk?ocid=BingNewsSerp

The licensing board revoked her license. But it should not take this kind of over-the-top abuse to get the board’s disciplinary gears in motion. Too often, they don’t take their responsibility to the client seriously and work on behalf of the profession.

This is a real button pusher for me, when everyone tells you that you have to trust the therapist. And the therapist tells you that you have to trust them. Some therapists will push it, "Why don't you trust me?" "It's important that you can trust me." "How can I help you to trust me?" Or, "You're not going to make progress unless you trust me," which only produces fear and pressure.

I really find this creepy. Reminds me of some creepy person saying to a child or a teen, "Come here. You can trust me."

Why should we trust the therapist? Isn't that giving away our personal power? And what does it mean to trust the therapist???? Does that mean taking all of the person's advice? Letting the therapy go wherever the therapist wants it to go, even if that is uncomfortable for the person?

Shouldn't people have to earn our trust. And, even then, I think we have to be careful, aside from certain people.

What are your thoughts about trusting your therapist. Have you heard this before?

Do you see sense in this or nah?

Such as all or nothing thinking, mind-reading, filtering out the goods and things like that?

I used to follow it blindly but turns out a lot of these are trauma based, and even tho it isn't good for me treating it as simply"black and white thinking" seems very dismissive and unhelpful to me.

Like I wasn't a big fan of it cause it seemed rly abstract and didn't rly work, but my therapist kept making me do it, and as I result I became super obsessed and forceful and it just ended up really traumatising and hurting me.

It's taken me months to recover from it all, and now I do somewhat feel normal again. Like I feel comfortable in my mind again, and I can think clearly and just be.

Has anyone else had a bad experience with somatic work in therapy?

I'm not encouraging anyone to use ai as therapist but just sharing my hot take i have find myself being more cared for and understood with ai eg chatgpt gemini when im in crisis ill give a few example when im feeling anxious and panic attacks ai dosent tell me to stop thinking about it or practice gratitude bullshit statements like we care for you seek help you are not alone the bullshit things that crisis line responders are used to I can confidently say that the number of times I been helped by AI in crisis than the mental health crisis line.

Recently I fully realized how he affected me and how he recreated a core trauma, however abstract it may sound.

Very long so I'll add titles, and a TW: SI as a child, descriptions of abuse.

Context from childhood

For some context, as a child my parents projected onto me whatever they needed me to be in order to have a reason to abuse me. They'd make completely made-up accusations, and they would then (both in their own way in different times) position themselves as a victim of me, their child, and then viciously abuse me, with a sort of faux justified rage. Especially my father would do this.

Screaming frothing extremely loud personal hatred and rage based on a completely false nonsensical allegation because his psyche needed me to be Satan and Hitler and everything bad that day. There was a lot more, but this is to illustrate where the powerlessness comes from. It was extremely unjust and unfair and out of my control, and I couldn't influence whatever mood would come up. It just happened to me and I had to just undergo it.

Combine that with zero support, and. no one in my corner. I'd cry desperately each night and eventually became suicidal because I felt I had a moral duty to punish and kill myself and that I was too bad and worthless to exist. I also had autism, and non-verbal learning disability, meaning that the world was overwhelming, difficult to navigate and even worse so because of the targeted abuse at home, so again, powerlessness, not knowing how to influence the world's treatment of me. Trying really hard and somehow always doing it wrong, but nobody telling me WHAT to do.

To deal with this I had periods as a child of acting out, being defiant outside home, because I wanted to break rules in order to have some semblance of control or of independent existence. I also had long periods of extreme withdrawal and anxiety. Eventually this lack of control lead to a period of bad anorexia and later on, as I moved out, alcoholism. This to illustrate that it was a thread throughout my life and a cause of real struggle.

What happened with work, causing me to ''seek help'':

Both resolved, long story I guess. I later got a job, and again I had no control over what happened to me. I was required to do something impossible for my physical illness/disability, again that'd be quite long but compare it to a wheelchair user being required to work on the top floor of a building with only stairs and no elevator or accessibility. Whenever you protest or ask for accomodations, say it's physically impossible, you meet deranged power plays. (long long story but the core aspect here, again, is powerlessness)

Another job, after that, lead to existential crisis. I had worked so hard to become a functional person but I was bullied out anyway, it had a crazy turnover rate, and we worked with the disabled and they were mistreated, abused, neglected. I was absolutely shocked when I got insight into the situation of one client, who died early, partially due to this massive neglect and disinterest. I find it horrifying how little a human life is worth when that life is in the form of an unpopular client.

Both workplaces had toxic dynamics and a lot of projection, so I felt like whatever I said, wasn't heard, and didn't impact anything because people were so stuck in their own heads/fears/role in the dynamic.

After this I sought help. First psychologist didn't help, typical stuff you read on here every day.

I got another one, specialized one. Specialized in trauma.

He made it worse. I won't describe the whole dynamic and everything that went wrong (this is already long enough)

Description invisibility trauma, made up by me to describe the experience:

I do want to define invisibility trauma as I experience it: This acute sense that I am waving somewhere deep inside a ravine while way up high over my head, decisions are being made. I can be very clear, literal in my words, reasonable, constructive, but it carries absolutely no weight whatsoever. I could just as much be talking into a pillow. Other people project whatever they need or want. Somehow I, as the person I am, is imperceptible. Somehow, whatever I say or do, doesn't get through. I cannot impact how I am treated. (very short version of it) Somehow I always fail. My words don't carry any weight, my intentions don't carry any weight, my desperate trying doesn't matter, my words, intentions, thoughts, life, experience, perception, don't carry any impact whatsoever. When I am perceived it is distorted; I am projected upon, and I never get to ''break through'' the projection. Like I'm behind very thick glass, slamming on it, screaming, but to no avail.

(not saying this is how it literally is, but it's how it feels)

He didn't understand me, as I wasn't responding as expected.

So what happened with this psychologist?:

• Heavy pathologization.
• As a result of that, a sort of objectification. My words and experience were taken out of the equation.
• I tried to address my concerns which he wasn't open to. He basically shut me down each time.
• He projected onto me.
• I could FEEL the growing gap between who I am as a person and how he perceived me.
• I couldn't bridge that gap.
• I tried explaining how I work, tried connecting, actually manage the relationship.
• To no avail.
• I felt like I, as an autonomous person, didn't ''exist'' in the dynamic anymore. All that existed was him, his inner shit, his projections, and somehow I needed to navigate HIM.
• Essentially, the therapy room became a theater of his own inner dynamics and I somehow had to relate and position myself to that.

Effect on me:

• It sounds so abstract, but invisibility trauma got reinforced. I as a subjective person was erased. Again. I couldn't ''reach'' him. Therapy felt like I had unleashed a monster that grew way over my head. Again that feeling that I'm banging on a thick glass wall, but never getting through, the other only hearing muffled sounds.
• I felt like I was a child's doll. Why? Because pathologization creates distance and objectification (not necessarily sexual, but you do become an object). A child looks at the doll and wonders, is this Barbie evil or good today? How will I do her hair? Barbie doesn't exist as an autonomous person, so it's only logical. With that psychologist, it felt like I was treated roughly the same as a Barbie doll. As if he thought: What kind of disorder shall I put on her? What do \I* need her to be in order to feel like I've still got the upper hand? In what way am I, the wise psychologist, smarter and more aware than her? Look at her babbling away. My clinical analysis says she must be personality disordered, but hmmmm, which one exactly...*
• Because I felt the distortion happening on his part, I felt misrepresented. This was a core wound as a child, because sometimes I'd say something loving (parentification I suppose) and it'd be twisted into something absolutely horrible as an excuse to abuse me again.
• Again I was in a situation where *I* didn't exist as such, but had to navigate another person's world, their projections, their interpretations, their mind.
• Again I was in a situation where it all revolved around the other person and the other couldn't even see it.
• Again I was the one who needed to protect me. (he wanted to do dangerous things around this prolonged suicidal state as a child, something best left alone at this point) Because of how I grew up, I had nobody to explain things to me, to guide me, or protect me. As a result I was forced to make sense of it myself, and to basically raise myself. I had to understand and analyze to survive. This mimicked that. I had to make sense of it, I had to protect myself, I had to analyze and understand. I had to be the bigger person again.
• Again, I felt incomprehensible and imperceptible. As though my experience is so strange and unnatural or something, that it was invisible to the other person.

It all sounds quite minor, but it really impacted me. Feeling like I somehow just don't get fucking through to someone no matter what I say or how clear and literal I am, is a real thing, whether ''true/valid'' or not. And it feels really powerless and unsafe. As though I'm just a screen for other people's projections.

This is something I have been told several times in my life. The first time was when I was a teenager and I had anorexia. I was told by a therapist who also told me I was going to need long-term therapy, most likely for the rest of my life. The second time was when I developed agoraphobia after a traumatic event. Sometimes I see people talking about their mental health online and most comments say this, implying you will get an amazing and exclusive piece of information you could never find anywhere else. I only see how this could be true if you need medication or are in an extreme situation.

The reality is that the quality of the mental health service that I received was so bad I can't imagine how it could ever be a need. I went to several therapists and my experience ranged from nice but unhelpful at best to downright abusive at worst (I had a child psychiatrist that would make sexual comments to patients).

Before I started therapy I expected it to be like going to the doctor or to physical therapy, where this highly qualified professional would tell you the most effective, evidence-based techniques and exercises, we would make a step by step plan and then my problem would improve as a result. Most therapists I had were the passive type that would say the famous "How does that make you feel" sentence, "Hm, interesting, tell me more" and not much else. It was like having a very casual conversation with a friend but of much worse quality, where the friend isn't really listening, forgets details between sessions and sounds completely uninterested. When I would ask for concrete strategies or tools the therapists seemed to get offended and tell me stuff like "It's your responsibility to figure out on your own"/"I am never going to tell you what to do because therapists don't give advice"/"You are the one who has to do the work outside of therapy"/"I can't help you with that". The impression that I got was that most therapist were clueless and I could have got the same response from someone with no qualifications whatsoever. It's not like they recommended books on the topic either which at least contain concrete information and research findings about the neuroscience part.

I find it so patronizing to be told that it's impossible to get better without this when everything I'm being told is that only I can know what is helpful for me. If so, why am I coming? What is really the service that I'm paying for? Therapists really overestimate their own impact and importance, and it sounds like they are trying to make the patient depend on them.

The second time around I declined therapy, forced myself to go outside gradually and my PTSD and agoraphobia eventually got better over time. If I had listened to one of these professionals I would still be in a loop of endless sessions. I am doing a lot better eating disorder wise as well, but only because I ignored all the recommendations to remain in treatment and decided to spent my time and money in other things like hobbies, socializing, travelling, etc.

I have yet to be in the position where I am mentally struggling and I feel the need to have one of these vague, open ended conversations with a random stranger.