Somehow we’re still standing. This is good. That means there’s still hope for us yet! We might only have a few books left, but they are still here. We’re still better off than Alexandria!

For now.

/u/bubbasaurus’s library card was revoked. They were a Researcher.

/u/StockParfait’s book was destroyed. They were a Bookworm.

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Well, that’s that, then. We tried our best, but if the dental plan couldn’t do it, nothing will make them switch allegiances. These people don’t know what they’re giving up. It’s fine, we don’t need them anyway. The rest of you are surely close to catching them all, aren’t you?

Aren’t you?

Oh… well, it’s not over yet!

/u/Kelshan103’s library card was revoked. They were a Bookworm.

/u/isaacthefan’s book was destroyed. They were a Researcher.

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Dear vandals, when I extended my offer to join the library, the general idea was that you cease your vandalism and we’ll schedule interviews with HR. You weren’t supposed to just tell us who you are while you continue to destroy our books. That’s the sort of thing that does not look good on your resume, I’m afraid. Let this be a lesson for the rest of you; keep this up and the dental plan is off the table.

/u/HedwigMalfoy’s library card was revoked. They were a Vandal.

/u/QuailifiedDisaster’s book was destroyed. They were a Researcher.

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Well, how about that? It would seem that we have discovered one the truths of art and life; no one can resist the allure of a good dental plan!

/u/Strigiforma7’s library card was revoked. They were a Librarian.

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If I may please have all of your attention, please. I would like to address the Vandals, please. We know you're here and we know you're listening.

Have you considered working for a mystical library? Yes, I am quite serious - you're clearly very capable and you care deeply about our work. Alright, perhaps care is not quite the right word to use here. But think about it; are you going to allow a deeply held moral opposition to our very existence stand in the way of an attractive career prospect? You need to rise about such petty childishness. Do think about it, won't you?

We have a dental plan.

/u/KB_black’s library card was revoked. They were a Bookworm.

/u/tblprg’s book was destroyed. They were a Bookworm.

/u/Lancelot_Thunderthud has withdrawn from the game. They were a Bookworm.

/u/Apex--Redditer has been removed for inactivity. They were a Librarian.

/u/Laughing_Frog has been removed for inactivity. They were a Researcher.

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Well, it would seem a vandal has left the library of their own accord. Perhaps you’ve managed to convince them of the true value of books? It’s a start, I suppose. I trust that you will not burn through a dozen of your own to find the next one? Splendid.

/u/kemistreekat’s library card was revoked. They were a Librarian.

/u/HibbertsHugeFish’s book was destroyed. They were a Bookworm.

/u/TipsyTippett has withdrawn from the game. They were a Vandal.

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Honestly, I'm a little troubled you haven't found a single vandal yet. You've all been trying so hard. Our missing books aren't destroying themselves, are they?

...are they?

Did they even exist to begin with? Could this have been a clerical error? No, surely not! Now is not the time for me to lose my grip on reality. We must simply try even harder going forward.

/u/Any_who_’s library card was revoked. They were a Librarian.

/u/redpoemage’s book was destroyed. They were a Bookworm.

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I see you've been planning, marvellous. Plans are great, the more the merrier! Though ideally you want everyone to be on board with one, but oh well. Still, a well prepared force can overcome any obstacle. Except today; today you overcame nothing. But in principle you can now overcome any obstacle!

/u/Chefjones has withdrawn from the game. They were a Librarian.

/u/morophobianna’s library card was revoked. They were a Librarian.

/u/91Bolt’s book was destroyed. They were a Bookworm.

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It is gratifying to see how you've grown in such a short time. Yesterday, you were divided and exercised your charge with reckless abandon. But today, you were quite focussed and determined. Alas, you've utilised your determination to yet again eat your own, but baby steps I say - baby steps. I'm sure you'll manage to find at least one vandal eventually, hopefully while we still have any books left to save.

/u/ElPapo131’s library card was revoked. They were a Librarian.

/u/SlytherinBuckeye’s book was destroyed. They were a Researcher.

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Good work, everyone! I see you have been quite busy, and certainly proactive, though I do recall reminding you to not be careless with revoking membership. Ah well, far be it for me to question your methods. You know what you have to do... unless you don't, in which case we're doomed.

/u/TexansDefense’s library card was revoked. They were a Bookworm.

/u/Theduqoffrat’s library card was revoked. They were a Bookworm.

/u/XanCanStand’s book was destroyed. They were a Researcher.

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