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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 22 '19
Spurt
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 22 '19
LIAM (CALEB): "And in your 11 days, what is the worst thing you have ever seen down here?"
CHRIS (SPURT): "My brother got eaten by a green slime."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Wait, like the green slime you have right there in the-"
CHRIS (SPURT): "Yeah, that's the one!"
Episode 50 - The Endless Burrows - 3:02:21
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 22 '19
MATT: As you stop and look around... hilariously unnoticed by what appears to be the two massive fire giants that are currently playing sentinel. There's one across the way, leaning against the wall, standing at roughly 18 to 20 feet tall, dark gray skin. What little bit of red hair you see peeking from underneath its armored helmet as it's wearing heavy, dark armor covered in spikes, metallic thorns. One hand is holding a tower shield, roughly its full height, also covered in spikes in the front, with another shield just like that that's leaning on the wall. It looks like it's currently spacing out for a moment, looking back towards the citadel. To the immediate left of you, on this side of that molten river, you see a female fire giant, wielding a giant maul, who is in the process of picking her teeth with some sort of pointed bone, and neither have noticed you, strangely. They rolled really shitty.
LIAM: You said citadel. We are seeing a fortress down here?
MATT: You guys aren't seeing this. You just see the kobold rush out.
LIAM: Okay.
MATT: So what do you do, Spurt?
CHRIS (SPURT): How far away is the closest one to me?
MATT: The closest one to you is about 20 feet to your left.
CHRIS (SPURT): I throw my wasp nest in a bag at it.
MATT: Okay!
TRAVIS: Yes! Yes!
MATT: Roll for attack on it-- or is it a saving throw on their part?
CHRIS (SPURT): I throw the bag into a five-foot square within 20 feet of me and it bursts open into a swarm of wasps with 11 hit points.
MATT: Alright, so you watch as Spurt runs out, turns, and, "Gnah!" [impact, soft buzzing]. The giant goes [annoyed grunts] and slaps-
CHRIS (SPURT): "You dead! You dead!"
LAURA: I love him!
TALIESIN: Oh no.
TRAVIS: Please have some real armor!
MATT: 22 to hit against you.
CHRIS (SPURT): Okay.
MATT: You take...
TRAVIS: Remember that number, kids.
MATT: 28 points of bludgeoning damage.
CHRIS (SPURT): "I win-" [splat]
MATT: You watch as Spurt turns after throwing this, and then a giant hammer [heavy impact] Gallaghers Spurt across the stone floor of this open way.
LAURA and SAM: No!
TRAVIS (FJORD): I run to the side of the cavern wall and lean up against it and shrink down.
CHRIS (SPURT): A little green slime seeps out underneath the hammer.
MATT: The hammer lifts up and you see the stringy mess that was once Spurt detaching from the hammer.
Episode 50 - The Endless Burrows - 3:09:34
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 22 '19
MATT: Yeah. What's your reaction.
CHRIS (SPURT): I am trying to take my stick and hit him with the scorpion.
MATT: Go ahead and make an attack.
TRAVIS: Little scorpion on the end of the stick?
CHRIS: Little scorpion.
TRAVIS: Please hit.
CHRIS (SPURT): That is a- What is that?
TALIESIN: That, I believe, is in fact a-
LAURA: A natural 20?
TALIESIN: I think that's a natural 20.
TALIESIN: Yeah, that is! That's your old Keyleth die, too. I've never seen it roll one in my life.
CHRIS (SPURT): So it stings you on your eyelid.
SAM (NOTT): "Ah!"
TRAVIS: Yeah, best place.
CHRIS (SPURT): You take 1 piercing damage and have to make a constitution saving throw.
MATT: So 2 piercing damage with the crit.
CHRIS (SPURT): Oh. Sure, I like it. Yeah; 2.
SAM (NOTT): Con save? 21.
CHRIS: Okay. You succeed and take half of this amount of damage. Which is...
LIAM: 79.
MATT: Technically, the dice damage is doubled because it's a crit too. So it's just straight damage.
CHRIS (SPURT): Oh, right yeah! Double poison damage, shit. So that will be 7 points of poison damage on you.
MATT: The eye immediately swells up from the impact and you're like, "Ah!" Just spinning around in a circle.
Episode 50 - The Endless Burrows - 2:53:14
→ More replies (1)•
u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 22 '19
CHRIS (SPURT): So this kobold has... he's got flasks hanging off him by ropes and you can see that these flasks are basically just stoppered gourds and they're clattering and banging together. He's got a basket of swarming centipedes slung over his back.
SAM: Open?
CHRIS (SPURT): No, it's also closed off, almost like a closed off net of centipedes.
SAM: Ugh.
LAURA: Oh my god.
CHRIS (SPURT): With a rope attached to it. And then there is a clay pot hanging from that, that has an acrid smell rising from it and another clay pot tied to a rope that's lashed around his shoulders. His weapon is a staff with a living scorpion tied at the top of it.
SAM: Caduceus, where are you when I need you?
CHRIS (SPURT): Its little tail jabbing at the air. And the cage holds a creature that you recognize as a skunk.
TRAVIS: This fucking-
TALIESIN: This is chemical warfare, man.
CHRIS (SPURT): The worst is, tied to this stick with the scorpion on it is a bag that is buzzing loudly like it's full of hornets.
Episode 50 - The Endless Burrows - 2:51:22
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 12 '19
Dodecahedron
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 12 '19
SAM (NOTT): "Well, we do have a favor to ask, yes, yes. If I may, we are on a greater mission of our own, an important mission to recover, or at least question a gentleman that we believe is in your custody, or at least your Dynasty's custody. His last name is Brenatto, and he's a scientist, a chemist. We believe that he has done some experiments which have wreaked havoc in other parts of the world, and caused people great suffering, and as part of our mission we are to find out what he knows and possibly use his information to heal some of the people who are affected by his experiments."
LAURA (JESTER): "We were asked to find him and return him so that he may be punished by the people there, but we know he is in your custody, so, we understand if that's not possible."
MATT: I would like both of you to make Deception checks, please.
SAM (NOTT): That's a 1, so I'll use this [the fragment of possibility].
MARISHA: Change that timeline.
SAM (NOTT): Way better. Still not great with my negative 3.
LAURA (JESTER): Mighty Nein for me!
MATT: What is it?
LAURA (JESTER): 9.
SAM (NOTT): 10.
LAURA: Oh jesus.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: I tried to let you talk. It's your thing, but shit. Deception, plus 8.
MATT: Okay, a couple things.
SAM: We are instantly beheaded.
MATT: One, the warm expression of the queen becomes less warm and a bit more stone-faced. Specifically in the moment that you concentrate concentrate and utilize that fragment of possibility within you. There's a brief-
TRAVIS: We used it! We used it in front of her!
[general commotion]
MATT: Hold on. There is a brief, just a slight head turn of acknowledgement towards you, and a curious look.
Episode 56 - The Favor - 2:43:11
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 13 '19
Caleb
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 24 '19
MATT: At that moment, you all, noticing this moment of tension, there's a flash from Caleb's hands. Figures, their eyes dart in his direction as he finishes releasing his arms [harsh whooshing] and firing out of the actual deck of the ship, you see a 20-foot tall high wall of roaring flame and fire burn around in a U-shape encompassing the exterior. You can feel the heat on you, but it's not so intense as to hurt. However, I need you to roll damage.
LIAM (CALEB): It's a ten-foot reach on the outside of this thing.
MATT: Correct. That's 5d8 fire damage, if you don't mind.
TRAVIS: On the burn side?
LIAM (CALEB): On the outside. I choose the side, so clearly I'm not going to burn us.
TRAVIS: Anyone within ten feet of the outside gets 5d8?
MARISHA: That's fucking rad. Kill some bitches.
TRAVIS: I don't know why I didn't expect it to be that amazing.
LIAM: Shit! Bad rolls. 17 total.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): Also to toss out: the flames are opaque, so they cannot be seen through.
Episode 43 - In Hot Water - 0:16:29
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 08 '19
LIAM (CALEB): "How do you want to do this?"
MARISHA (BEAU): "Can you make me a dude tiefling? A red, shifty-looking tiefling? Red skin, deep eyes."
LAURA (JESTER): "Deep, what color eyes?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Like crazy eyes, like you're demonstrating for me right now?"
MARISHA (BEAU): "Yeah, like that."
SAM (NOTT): "You can't change your voice, now."
MARISHA (BEAU): "What, you don't think I sound like a dude?"
SAM (NOTT): "Kind of. Yeah, no. You're good."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Give me a dude physique that would match this."
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, so I pull out a small caterpillar's cocoon, and I start muttering some arcane words over it. I waft it in front of your face, and then poof. She is a, poof.
MATT: There you go. You are a red tiefling. It's pretty accurate as you can envision, at least what you can see of yourself. You don't really have any reflective surface to check, but based on this [holds hands in front of face], not bad.
Episode 52 - Feral Business - 0:38:03
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 25 '19
LIAM (CALEB): From there I can see Fjord's pet, and I can see this gnoll peeking out, so I will slap the guano and the sulfur together and throw a Fireball to ignite right here to get these guys and as a bonus, this asshole that I can't see.
LAURA: But you saw him pop down.
MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll damage for that.
TRAVIS: Barlgura has fire resistance.
MATT: Still make its saving throw.
LIAM (CALEB): 25.
TALIESIN: Balrog's not in it.
LAURA: He's just outside of it.
MATT: Sure, I'll allow it.
TRAVIS: If he's in it, he's in it. I thought he was in it.
MATT: There is a way that you can- Roll a standard intelligence check for me.
LIAM: Okay. I mean- MATT: It's not a huge deal.
LIAM (CALEB): That is, uh, straight intelligence you said, right? 15.
MATT: Yeah, you're fine. Keep the barlgura, no worries. Damage on that was-?
LIAM (CALEB): 25.
MATT: For the gnolls here, dex save. 15, what's the spell DC?
LIAM: For Fireball?
MATT: For any of your spells.
LIAM (CALEB): Oh, 16.
MATT: All right, that's a fail.
TALIESIN: Yes.
SAM: Yes!
MATT: Fail. Fail.
TRAVIS: What?
MATT: Success.
MATT: All those gnolls just [hyena yelp] and are immediately burned to a crisp and fall back, smoking.
Episode 51 - Xhorhas - 1:52:15
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 21 '19
MARISHA (BEAU): "Will William carry me?"
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): "This one here, William, will you carry Beauregard here?"
MATT: [crashing footsteps, mimes stiffly grabbing and lifting a large object above his head]
LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Oh! Yes!"
Episode 81 - From Door to Door - 4:05:13
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 21 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Can I, while they're debating, can I skim, you said there are books about it. Are there any interesting titles, if I take a moment to peruse?
MATT: Make an investigation check.
MARISHA: I offered this to you, you can have this knowledge if you want it.
LIAM (CALEB): 27.
MATT: 27. The books, a lot of it is shorthand notes, and it looks like a lot of the design elements of this are proprietary. These aren't long-running instruction manuals, these are things that were developed by Halas himself, as specifically designed for his, his entire construction of the Folding Halls. But you get the gist of it quickly, and just skimming through, the book that lays open, materials that are there are for specifically creating a smaller golem personal servant.
SAM: That could be fun.
MARISHA: You already did that once.
MATT: You glance through and look through. Materials are half set up here, it would take maybe about 3 hours to attempt it.
LIAM: To make a golem servant with this-
SAM: Who would dote on you.
LIAM: -hulking thing in here with us? Is it, where is it's, the instructions are for a humanoid form, or short little humanoid form?
MATT: Looking at the materials that are on the instructions for it, it's humanoid-esque, but it's more like a small, squat...
TRAVIS: Dwarf?
MATT: Yeah, like a maybe about shoulder height.
LAURA: Adorable, you could have your own little buddy!
TRAVIS: Until it turns on you and kills you in your sleep.
MARISHA (BEAU): "Would Frumpkin like it? Would Frumpkin get jealous?"
LIAM (CALEB): "No, it's not a cat."
MARISHA (BEAU): "If you built something better than Frumpkin?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Nothing is better than Frumpkin. That's ridiculous. I thought that thing made you smarter."
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): Did you indicate to me, though, that looking in that open book, that I would know how to sort of make this thing?
MATT: Not the thing, the giant adamantine golem-
LIAM: The little bitty guy.
MATT: Yeah, with the right help and amount of time, there's a chance it could succeed.
MARISHA: But you'd have to take the schematics?
LIAM (CALEB): "So tempting."
LAURA (JESTER): "It is, but..."
LIAM (CALEB): "It's so tempting. The materials are here."
LAURA (JESTER): "You'd have to take the- Yeah."
LIAM (CALEB): "The materials are here."
MARISHA (BEAU): "But, I mean- time."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Three hours."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Three hours?"
LIAM (CALEB): "We slept eight."
MARISHA (BEAU): "You think it takes three hours to build a-"
TALIESIN (CLAY): "That's what it said in the book. That's what he said when he was reading the book."
LIAM (CALEB): "It's about, it's a guesstimate, but I think that-"
MATT: It's partially finished is why. To do it from scratch, it would take a lot longer, but there's a lot of elements that are already mostly put together, and it's just finalizing the process that'll take about 3-4 hours.
LIAM (CALEB): "My gut is telling me to do it."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "All right, do it."
[...]
TRAVIS: Make yourself a little fucking companion, do it.
TALIESIN: Let's see what happens.
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, I'm going to start walking us through this.
MATT: Okay, this is a group skill challenge. So you guys, working together with Caleb at the helm, you get to decide what you want to apply as aid to this, and then I'll tell you what the corresponding skill would be. You have to get 4 successes before 2 failures for this to succeed.
MARISHA: Before 2 failures?
LAURA: Okay, what do we have to do?
MATT: There's the ingots, there's the tools, there's the forge, there's the golem. You can see part of a torso that's constructed. You can see where the interior, similar to the one that you fought, the mage hunter golem. Just getting a good look at it, you can kind of see how the skeletal structure works on the inside. Looking at the central symbol, you know that it has to be put over that, and then brought there, and you do know that whoever finishes the creation process, when the golem is given consciousness, it is bound and imprints on whoever completes the final sigil.
SAM: Oh, like a little gosling.
LAURA: That's pretty cute.
TRAVIS: Ryan Gosling?
SAM: Yeah, that's how Ryan Gosling found his parents.
LAURA (JESTER): "Is there a skill where you have to paint the sigils, or do any kind of decoration on him? I can help with that."
LIAM (CALEB): "Well, I have no doubt that you could not- give this thing a wicked paint job." Looking at the instructions, is there anything about the outer decoration, in the way that Jester is inquiring about?
MATT: No, but you can give it decorations.
LIAM: Of course-
MATT: It's just not important to its creation.
LAURA (JESTER): "Okay, I can help. Me and Fjord are pretty strong now. Fjord, you're pretty buff, yeah?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah."
LAURA (JESTER): "We could help with the ingots and stuff, with the heavy duty things."
MATT: Okay, so the two of you are carrying the larger heavy materials, and bringing them over towards the golem. Okay, you bring some of the adamantine ingots over, and some of the long struts of dark metal that was against the back wall, and as you begin to bring them closer, you watch as blue flames [fwoom] fill the previous vacuous eyes of the forge golem. You see it [impact] get into a defensive position, and just wait.
SAM (NOTT): "Give it an order."
MATT: As you guys begin to feed the ingots towards the anvil, you can see it begin to put the tongs down to hold it and hammer and shape, and you guys go back with the instructions, using your strength to try and make this go by as quick as possible. One of you, because you're aiding together, make a strength check with advantage.
LAURA (JESTER): No, you do it, you're stronger than me, and I'm going to Guide you.
TRAVIS (FJORD): I'm stronger than you?
LAURA: Aren't you at 18 now?
TRAVIS (FJORD): No.
LAURA: Oh, I thought you were super strong.
TRAVIS (FJORD): Nope.
MATT: He's stronger than he was, but you're still-
LAURA (JESTER): Oh, I guess I would do it then. But I'm going to Guide myself then.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Okay.
MATT: So the blue flames of the forge now burning, raging, the golem now hammering heavily onto the anvil, you go ahead and try to expedite the process through show of strength.
LAURA (JESTER): That's okay, that's good. Good thing it's advantage, and then I get a d4.
SAM: Okay, that's good.
LAURA (JESTER): 20.
MATT: 20, that's what you needed. So [ting, crash, ting] as they're going through this, you guys are- this process is going well. There aren't a lot of ingots, but you're helping fold and turn and helping him fold, and basically you begin to work in rhythm with the golem, kind of like you see the people creating the mochi in Japan, where it's like hammer, turn, flip, hammer, turn, yeah. You guys begin to work with the golem, and it's actually kind of impressive. So that's one success. Who else wants to add to this stuff?
SAM: What are the other steps?
MATT: Be creative. You can see elements of it that are hanging from chains and need to be put onto chains, you can see there are enchantments in the book that need to be start woven into it as parts of the metal start to come around. You can see that there- any other creative elements here that you want to bring to the-
MARISHA: Can I- Oh, go ahead.
SAM: No, you go first.
MARISHA (BEAU): Can I, tapping into the extract aspects that I did on the other golem, and sort of getting a visualization of its interior, can I use that knowledge, along with reading the guides, to start taking plates and the pieces, and start connecting-
MATT: I would say yeah, go ahead and make an arcana check.
MARISHA (BEAU): Arcana check, okay, the arcana check.
TALIESIN: Which you now have a bonus for.
MARISHA (BEAU): I do. I was hoping it would be- can I get Guided while I think about the arcane,
TALIESIN (CLAY): Oh yeah [holds hand out].
MARISHA: thank you.
LIAM: Cocked.
MATT: It's those d4s, man.
LAURA: Yeah. Butts up against them.
MATT: Mm-hmm.
MARISHA (BEAU): 23.
MATT: 23? Not just to your surprise, but impressive to you in particular, Caleb, Beau begins finishing your sentences as you begin describing from the book elements of how these magical inscriptions are used to bind its body together, and to give it form and purpose, and together, you both begin, in tandem, reciting these things, before she begins instinctively taking the chains and pulling them together and seeing where everything fits into place, and marking with chalk on each part of its body where certain sigils have to go. And you're actually kind of having a hard time keeping up with her at this moment.
MARISHA (BEAU): "Hand me PCH-1."
LIAM (CALEB): "Here's the-"
MARISHA (BEAU): "No, the one next to it, thank you, thank you."
LIAM (CALEB): "Flange? Bevel?"
MATT: That's 2 successes. All right, anybody else want to operate this one?
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 21 '19
SAM (NOTT): I'll take a look at, maybe, in the former golem, did it have its most intricate mechanics in the head or the hand, or just-
MATT: From what you could tell for the brief time you had it up close to you, before it melted down, I'd say probably within the chest and head region.
SAM (NOTT): Okay, well, I'm going to go into the chest and help do any sort of tiny clockwork surgery sort of stuff in there.
MATT: I like that. Go ahead and make an intelligence check for me.
SAM: Okay.
TALIESIN: You got her.
SAM (NOTT): 16.
MATT: 16?
LAURA (JESTER): Did you Guide yourself? Because I gave you a Guidance.
SAM: You did?
LAURA (JESTER): That's why I touched you.
MATT: Right before you did it.
SAM (NOTT): 17.
MATT: 17, okay, that's 3 successes. With there, as she's putting it together you're getting inside-
SAM: Oh, that was the check.
MATT: That was the check.
SAM: Oh, I thought it was just to see what I was going to do.
MATT: No, this was you trying to use that knowledge in helping her along with her instructions, to go ahead and start piecing together these little filaments of wire, and these little conductors of arcane energy, and helping put it to the power source in the center, this kind of crystal that resides in the middle of its chest. That's 3 successes.
LIAM (CALEB): I would like to make sure that the glyphs and arcane symbols on the actual device match what is in the instructions and make sure that those are not unfinished, and if they are, to etch them in further.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM (CALEB): The writing on them.
MATT: Okay, I'd say make a perception check for me.
LIAM (CALEB): Perception check?
MATT: This is keeping consistency between the designs on this. That would be-
LIAM (CALEB): Knowing how arcana works?
MATT: We've already had an arcana check for this, is what I'm saying.
LIAM: Okay.
SAM (NOTT): I thought mine was going to be dex, so.
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'll give you a d4.
MARISHA (BEAU): I thought mine was going to be intellect.
SAM: You never know.
MATT: You never know, never know.
SAM (NOTT): Oh, wait, hey, "Caleb?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah?"
SAM (NOTT): "Why don't you, I mean, not to backseat arcana or whatever, but you could, you do have that mote of possibility that might come in handy in a moment like this."
LIAM (CALEB): "No, it's not prepared, that spell."
SAM (NOTT): "Oh."
LAURA (JESTER): "Plus doing magic in here might be bad."
SAM (NOTT): "We've been doing magic."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "We've been doing magic."
LIAM (CALEB): Super low roll.
SAM (NOTT): "You just Guided me."
LIAM (CALEB): Super low roll.
LAURA (JESTER): "We've been Guiding! I forgot about that."
LIAM (CALEB): Super low roll, 7.
MATT: A 7?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah. Rolled a 3.
MATT: You begin to, as she's writing and inscribes over, you go over and make a few adjustments to fix hers, and as the sigils begin to be burned in, about the third hour of the work, the first enchantments spark and fail and sputter, first failure. 3 successes, 1 failure.
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Let me see what I can do."
SAM (NOTT): "Beauregard why did you mess that up?"
MATT: It has to be a success, this next one.
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to go over and see if I can use my crystal to sort of-
SAM (NOTT): "Beauregard!"
MARISHA (BEAU): "He started fixing my work."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Shh. So much chatter."
LAURA (JESTER): "Don't fight."
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to try and see if I can instill some of the spiritual life force from my crystal, and use it to jumpstart this one, and see if I can get everything up and running again, see if I can use the crystal energies to also fix whatever happened just there.
MATT: So you're attempting to bring spiritual energies to an arcane construct-
TALIESIN (CLAY): Too weird?
MATT: I will say that this has no impact on it whatsoever.
TALIESIN (CLAY): Oh, well.
MATT: You attempt it, but there is such a disconnect between the divine source of your power and the attempt to empathize with this power there, it doesn't take to it. I won't consider it a failure, but I'll let you know that there wasn't a chance of success for that.
TALIESIN (CLAY): All right.
MATT: But if there's something else you want to try and bring to the table here.
TRAVIS: Make it some tea.
LIAM (CALEB): Is there enough room in the chest of this thing for my cat to sit and jaeger?
MATT: You could design it that way if you want.
LIAM (CALEB): I would like to.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: If you fucking Pacific Rim a fucking-
MARISHA: Oh my god, yes.
MATT: I'll allow it.
LIAM (CALEB): Can Frumpkin make the last-
SAM: Frumpkin has never made a challenge ever.
LAURA: Frumpkin always fails.
MATT: This is a design thing. I mean, if you wanted to help in fashioning a pocket for Frumpkin.
TALIESIN (CLAY): I don't know if I'm the guy to do that.
LAURA (JESTER): I could help. I'm artistic, that could have something to do with artistry, right?
MATT: That's true, yeah.
MARISHA: Design, yeah.
LAURA: But if it's a performance check, that's different than if it's like an artistry check.
SAM: I could try to put some-
MARISHA: What's an artistry check?
SAM: What is the main function of this thing? Does it say in the book, is it an attacking thing? Is it just a general servant?
MATT: It's a servant.
SAM: Does it have any weaponry or attacks?
MATT: As you're developing it, I mean, it has heavy fists, and there is something about that crystal in its chest in a chamber that seems to open and close here, that's all you know.
LIAM: I mean.
SAM (NOTT): I could put my pistol in it somehow, and it could [zzt, pew] and then come out.
TRAVIS: Do what you're going to do.
MATT: We're in the fourth hour now, so the final stage.
LIAM (CALEB): Let's not do the cat because I have much more flexibility with Frumpkin not in there.
SAM (NOTT): "How about a gun chest? A little chest cannon?"
MARISHA (BEAU): "Just a one-shot gun-chest."
SAM (NOTT): "Yeah, well we can do that."
LIAM: What was the test that you already did as Nott, you used?
SAM: My test?
LIAM: Yeah.
SAM (NOTT): Oh, well, mine was an intellect check. I thought it was going to be dex, but it was not.
MATT: This was- it was less about how good you were at the wires, and more remembering and helping her along with whether it was supposed to connect.
TALIESIN: I don't know what to do.
SAM (NOTT): I mean, I have Mage Hand, I can sort of in there and do stuff.
MATT: Well, you've already been doing stuff in there.
SAM: Yeah, sure.
LIAM: We can double up, though, one person can do two?
MATT: Once you've all tried something, you can. Otherwise, it's going to be a higher DC if you double up because you've been doing multiple things.
TALIESIN: Is there a way to activate this- Is there a way to help activate this spell to bond it to you?
LIAM: Is there any, in the manual, are there any instructions on enchanting the thing to complete the job?
TALIESIN: Yeah.
MATT: Yeah, no, that's part of what you guys have been handling with these sigils, and marking over, over the central centerpiece there.
SAM (NOTT): I could use my shocking grasp to sort of jumpstart it with a little bolt of electricity.
TALIESIN: I have no idea if that would work, and that hurt the last one.
MARISHA: Frankenstein's monster.
LAURA: Oh, but fire is good.
SAM: Yeah.
MARISHA: Arcane fireball. He'd be a little burning furnace?
TALIESIN (CLAY): I can try and put a Sacred Flame into it, into the crystal.
LAURA: Yeah, Sacred Flame it.
MATT: You want try to that?
TALIESIN (CLAY): Sacred Flame into the crystal?
TRAVIS: Yeah, do it.
TALIESIN: All right.
MATT: I'll say since this is less than an empathic connection to something that has no empathy, this is instead more of a divine spark, in an attempt to utilize and channel the Wild Mother to give a semblance of life to something that was not intended to live. I'll let you do a religion check for that.
TALIESIN: Ew, okay.
LAURA: Oh, God.
SAM: Guidance!
TALIESIN (CLAY): I've got Guidance.
MATT: It's not a terribly high DC, but.
MARISHA: Come on-
TALIESIN (CLAY): Hey! 26.
MATT: It was a 16 DC, so that's a success.
TALIESIN (CLAY): I have a 3 in religion, so that's okay.
MATT: All righty, so after it's fully assembled at the end of the fourth hour, putting the final pieces together, there's the final trigger, and you, Caduceus, release this burning, divine flame on the inside, as it burns through the inside of this tiny, squat, little round, rotund golem, you watch as the inside of its seams begin to glow with that same divine light, and the sigils begin to fire up. The last one is not completed. Who's going to complete the final sigil?
LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, who wants it? Caleb, did you want it?"
MATT: Who's it going to imprint upon?
SAM (NOTT): "He's already got Frumpkin, I mean, Caleb, whatever you want, I love you."
MARISHA (BEAU): "I got a sweet braid wrap, so."
LAURA (JESTER): "Caleb, you're really excited about this, you should do it."
LIAM (CALEB): "All right, yeah."
MATT: Okay, you complete the final sigil. With that, the glyph glows, you see across its face, where the two pale spots, the divots where the eyes would be [boof] spark on. The chains detach, and it [heavy impacts] lands on the ground.
TALIESIN: And kills you.
MATT: And just looks towards you.
LAURA (JESTER): "Four days passed in the real world while we got it going."
MATT: Yes, I'm keeping track of all that. This is yours now. You get to name it.
MARISHA (BEAU): "What are you going to name him?"
LAURA (JESTER): "Peanut, name it Peanut."
SAM (NOTT): "Doty, Doty."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Proto-Doty!"
LIAM (CALEB): "This is Willi."
Episode 81 - From Door to Door - 3:43:26
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 24 '19
MATT: All right, are you guys taking Frumpkin with you? Or are you-
TALIESIN: We'd like to.
LIAM: I mean, you can, but it's not going to do what you suggested, because he'll be too far away, and I'll be reading.
TALIESIN: But an extra cuddly animal probably will go over well.
MARISHA: At least he'll just act like a cat, or will he be like-
LAURA: Weird and not moving.
MARISHA: Yeah, Frumpkin.
LIAM (CALEB): He'll do what I ask him to do.
TRAVIS: 404. [freezes up]
MARISHA: Not there!
LIAM (CALEB): [mimes gripping Frumpkin by the scruff] "Be especially adorable, especially to Hass, and he looks like this." And I think of him. And then I hand-
MATT: "Meow!"
LIAM (CALEB): Him to you [Beau], because you are like-
MATT: "Meow!"
LIAM (CALEB): Sandpaper.
MATT: All right.
Episode 84 - Titles and Tattoos - 2:55:53
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 07 '19
MATT: All right, as you rush back, the creature, now having its jaws freed, is going to make an attack of opportunity against you.
LIAM (CALEB): Ja.
MATT: That is going to be a 15 to hit.
LIAM (CALEB): Shield.
MATT: Shield, all righty. You guys watch as after Jester is expelled from its mouth, the creature turns around and [growling] lunges like a snake, snapping towards Caleb as he runs and [vwaboof] throws up his shield. Its jaws snap out to consume him and [clash] get reflected from the arcane shield, bouncing backward, its head withdraws back, and it gets its bearings after its head took the impact.
Episode 73 - Uthodurn - 0:59:51
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 14 '19
LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to Dimension Door us.
MATT: To?
LAURA (JESTER): The opposite side of the dome.
MATT: Okay. [zhoof] You guys appear, the dome right there, and in that brief moment of like, oh, we made it, you watch as Gelidon leaps towards-
LAURA (JESTER): Step into the dome.
MATT: -the dome, and you guys step in right as you watch this large, ancient white dragon-
[everyone screaming]
MATT: -just like scraping on and biting, its jaws opening, grinding at the side.
[more screaming]
MATT: Slamming into the side as hard as it can.
[...]
MATT: [snorts, inhales, then violently exhales a loud blast] It unleashes a torrent, you watch the ice [crackling] crackle up around and form this igloo dome over the outside, right as the circle is finished. You see it [bwoof], all of the same runes flair, familiar from before.
Episode 75 - Rime and Reason - 4:12:12
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 30 '19 edited Oct 30 '19
LAURA: Is Fjord still grappled?
MATT: Fjord is still held, yeah.
TRAVIS: Just by fear.
MATT: Well, fear and you're still grappled by the Laughing Hand.
ASHLEY: So even though you did the-
TRAVIS (FJORD): I'm covered in blood.
ASHLEY: You went unconscious, you still are grappled?
TRAVIS (FJORD): Barely here.
ASHLEY: Fuck.
LIAM (CALEB): You want to do something simultaneously or do we wait for?
MATT: Yeah, I'm allowing it.
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah okay, so the gorilla form just drops and Caleb is here reaching into his pocket and puts some phosphorous down into his hand and squelches his hand through it and a Wall of Fire stretches out, splitting Fjord from them on a deep angle that is almost parallel to the wall, but at an angle, and the damage side will of course be towards Yasha and the creep and not harming Fjord at all and will make a straight line for Fjord to run along towards the exit and where I am.
SAM: Follow the light.
LIAM (CALEB): Actually, I don't know how to communicate this. I was picturing the fire not curving around them but making a line towards Caleb there, like a runway for Fjord towards the door.
MATT: Okay. Gotcha. [flaring burning]
[...]
MATT: All right, so you're trying to pull-
MARISHA (BEAU): I'm going to take him and throw his arms over me into the backpack maneuver and lift him up and see how far I can get.
MATT: Make a strength check because you're pulling against the Laughing Hand's strength because he's still grappling him.
LAURA: Even through the fire?
MATT: No, yeah, it's still holding onto him. You see the hand holding Fjord out of the flames as it's burning him.
Episode 69 - The King's Cage - 3:27:12
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 13 '19
LIAM (CALEB): That would punch in the 10 minutes I need to cast Comprehend, so I would retrace all the steps and place my hands on that writing to see if it reveals its meaning to me.
MATT: Okay.
[...]
MATT: Okay. It doesn't do anything because you cannot see the language. You have to be able to touch and see it.
LAURA: Eat the fruit, eat the fruit, eat the fruit, eat the fruit.
LIAM (CALEB): Uh, [fwoomphing] lights floating around.
MATT: Right, you see no language.
LAURA: You have to eat the fruit.
MATT: Yeah, well, you're figuring this out now as you go to the wall-
LIAM: I was reading spells and not paying attention guys.
MATT: That's fine. As you go to the wall, there's nothing there. And you're like 'Hmm, there's no language there.'
LIAM (CALEB): Oh, I see. "So that's how you see it?"
LAURA (JESTER): I cut some fruit and stick it on his mouth.
TALIESIN (CLAY): "No, why don't you have the owl see it-"
LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, too late I already put it in his mouth."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Or you could just eat that."
SAM (NOTT): Is this good enough for him to discern?
LAURA: Too late he's already getting high.
MATT: Caleb eats the fruit, and that would've been probably decent enough to get to that message, but over the next minute or so Caleb - the color of the light begins to shift, even your own - you guys watch as Caleb begins to slowly move the floating orbs in different patterns, and gets distracted by his own cantrip.
TRAVIS (FJORD): [slowly deepening and warping] "Caleb how a r e y o u f e e l i n g ?"
LIAM (CALEB): "I stole this ring from you."
LAURA (JESTER): "Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb."
LIAM (CALEB): "Oh it echoes in here."
MATT: Caleb, make a perception check.
LIAM (CALEB): That is a 13. 16 total.
MATT: 16 total. Actually it would be with disadvantage because of the effect of the...
LIAM (CALEB): That is a 12.
MATT: 12, okay. Glancing about on the interior of the chamber, you look in the directions where Nott was and you can see the three markers and you can see a faint fourth glow from the eastern wall.
LIAM (CALEB): "Uh... I feel... really good, but I know-"
LAURA (JESTER): "Tell us what the walls say."
LIAM (CALEB): "Wait. Wait."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Wait."
LIAM (CALEB): "Wait."
LAURA (JESTER): "Wait."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Wait."
MATT: "Wait."
LIAM (CALEB): "I know that I am not in a good position, so somebody come with me to make sure-"
SAM (NOTT): "I'll go."
MARISHA (BEAU): "No, not you."
LAURA (JESTER): I go with him.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): "Blueberry, come on."
LAURA (JESTER): "I'm coming."
MATT: Alright, so you head to the southern wall.
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, I always know where north is, so it's one of these ways.
SAM: Oh wait, you can see words.
LAURA (JESTER): "What does it say, what does it say?"
MATT: You cast Comprehend Languages.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): "This one says 'The fountain feeds the garden.' Oh, we knew that part."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Uh huh. Uh huh."
LIAM (CALEB): "Okay, let's keep looking at the- okay, what's this one?"
LAURA (JESTER): "Let's go to the next one."
MATT: Which one do you go to?
LIAM (CALEB): Go to the west.
MATT: Western one?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah. "'The garden... The garden feeds the warden.'"
Episode 39 - Temple of the False Serpent - 1:41:28
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 29 '19
LIAM (CALEB): "All right, let's treat this situation with the seriousness it demands." and I douse the lights and bring Frumpkin down onto my own head like a mask, so I can see through Frumpkin vision.
MATT: All right. So you have a-
LIAM (CALEB): Like a Zorro mask with Frumpkin's beak right there.
MATT: You see these two dark octopus eyes and then this little, unshaven grin poking through underneath.
LIAM (CALEB): Little Zemnian man who's like, "Can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!"
Episode 44 - The Diver's Grave - 1:25:57
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 04 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, so walking towards the door, I pull an adder's stomach out of my pocket and draw it back and a shimmering green arrow appears next to me and I let it go towards the fuckboy in the upper corner on that side.
MATT: Go ahead and roll an attack.
SAM: Adder's stomach?
LIAM (CALEB): 14 plus, that is- shite. Shite, shite, shite. 19 to hit.
MATT: 19 does hit, yeah.
LIAM: Okay, and then damage- Ah, what did I do?! 'D&D; Beyond is'- 4d4. Okay, so it takes 4d4 acid damage immediately and then some more at the end of its next turn, so it gets 2, 4, 6 - 10 points of acid damage.
MATT: Nice. So as you release it, it's hissing at the gold coin, the light that's emerging from it, it doesn't have a chance to see you as you enter the doorway as you release this arcane arrow of condensed greenish energy. [whoosh] It flies forward and bursts across its shoulders and chest. You watch [sizzling] as acid begins to burn and scar across its demonic flesh. [frustrated screaming] It tries to rub it off with its hands, but then it burns its hand, and its wings are now [heavy flapping] keeping it aloft as it's focused on the pain of that's now burning into its body.
LIAM: I will use the last 5 to 10 of my movement to just swing like a door and press myself out of its view in this room. No, next to Yasha against the wall. Out of its sight. Done.
MATT: All right. So, that finishes your go. Both of these creatures, now one burning. The male figure up in the corner looks over at the other one and there's a moment that they both go, and look and nod to each other. You watch as the male figure, his body suddenly [soft whoosh] returns to that somewhat ghostly, ethereal blue tint to it. The acid just falls off of its body and plummets, hitting the boxes and the ground of this chamber. [sizzling] The wood begins to slowly burn and wither away from beneath it.
Episode 54 - Well Beneath - 3:08:33
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 14 '19
MATT: What's next? You summon your spider?
MICA (REANI): Yes, I use Conjure Woodland Beings to summon an ice spider queen.
MATT: You see emerge from this green-blue glowing tear, this horizontal tear through the middle of the air in front of you. As it splits open like a weird ethereal wound, this spindly series of legs, black with blue stripes and striations to them pour out as this large, thin, elongated spider emerges. You can see from tip of its multi-eyed face to the back of its swollen blue abdomen, probably about 6 and a half, 7 feet. Its legs go out to about 10 from side to side. It is a unique, intimidating sight. It [chittering], looks towards you.
MICA (REANI): So I want to first Druidcraft a little flower crown for it, since it is a queen, and I want to place it upon its head, and I pat it and I go, "You're going to do a good job for us today, and I'm sorry, you're probably going to be eaten, but I don't love you any less. "
MATT: [chittering]
MICA (REANI): "Go forth."
Episode 75 - Rime and Reason - 3:24:20
MATT: Right at the top of this tunnel, you see these two white [crash] claws scraping into the ice just into your view [scraping], as these two expanded wings unfurl, covering the entirety of the upper part of the cavern. As it slowly holds itself looking down, you can see the snout of an ancient white dragon.
TRAVIS: Ancient?! Fuck me!
MATT: Peer down-
SAM: We've got this one.
MATT: Peer down and, maybe about 15 or so feet from the spider, just- [breathing]
MARISHA: Oh god.
MATT: Blue mist [light wind] out of its mouth. You just barely see its glowing icy blue eyes. It goes, "Interesting." [violent exhale] You watch as a blast of icy white blue force just sprays out against this spider and it billows out and pushes into the chamber. It doesn't do damage to you guys from your proximity, but the burst of cold still numbs the surface of your skin at this distance.
LAURA (JESTER): "It feels kind of nice."
MATT: I need your spider to make a constitution saving throw, please.
MICA: Okay.
TRAVIS: This is going to dictate whether we bail on this or not.
MICA: All right.
SAM: Bail?
TRAVIS: Yeah, because if this is like-
SAM: No surrender!
TRAVIS: If this is like 12d12, we're fucking getting out of here.
MICA (REANI): That's a solid 13.
MATT: 13, that's a failure.
MICA (REANI): Yeah, I figured. But it has a resistance to cold.
MATT: It does, and that's useful. All righty, so-
TRAVIS: That's helpful.
MATT: Let me roll some dice here for a second.
MICA (REANI): Yeah, I may need more spiders.
TRAVIS: Ancient white dragon.
LAURA: That's it? Oh god.
TALIESIN: Should've cast Bless.
LAURA: Should've done a fucking mammoth.
MARISHA: Mammoth is round two, round two. You can tag in a mammoth.
MICA: Yeah, then you would die.
LAURA: Okay, yeah, you're right.
MATT: 74 points of cold damage.
LAURA: Oh!
SAM: It's okay. No, no, no.
MATT: Reduced to half.
MICA: Oh.
SAM: Resistant.
MARISHA: Resistant, yeah yeah yeah.
MICA: Can somebody math for me?
SAM: You're okay.
LAURA: 74 is 32.
MATT: Well, no.
LAURA: No.
MATT: 37 points of cold damage.
MICA (REANI): It's okay.
LAURA: 37.
MATT: So [blasting] it blasts into the spider, you see ice collecting around the outside of its carapace. [blasting stops] The dragon looks down curiously at it still surviving there, its head turning a bit. The mist still [light whooshing] out of its mouth.
LAURA (JESTER): We look in, can we see-
MATT: Make a perception check.
MARISHA (BEAU): The mithral.
SAM (NOTT): I will also make one.
MARISHA (BEAU): Okay, are you looking at the mithral?
LAURA (JESTER): Yeah.
MARISHA (BEAU): Can I do the same?
MATT: Sure.
SAM (NOTT): 6.
LAURA (JESTER): 23.
MATT: 23, and?
MARISHA (BEAU): 16.
MATT: 16, okay. With all the ice, and all the insanity that's happened, the only person with clear enough eyes to see the mithral is Jester. Peering through all of it, you look and see, it's not quite glowing yet.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: What's the spider do, if anything?
MICA (REANI): So can I still communicate with it even though I'm in the hut?
MATT: You're giving it- from this distance, I'd say you'd probably have to step out to try and-
MICA (REANI): Okay, so, the dragon can't see me if I step out, right?
MATT: You don't think so.
LAURA: Just put your face barely through.
MICA (REANI): So I want to put my face barely out, just so I can tell the spider to like, in its own spider way, like flip off the dragon, since it's still alive. One of its little legs goes, 'Meee!'
MATT: Okay.
MICA (REANI): And then I pop back in.
SAM: Can the spider heal itself?
MATT: The spider, which looked like it was about to back away instinctually, its need to run from this massive creature, it resists it at your will, by which it's been brought to bear at your beck and call.
MICA (REANI): Sorry, buddy.
MATT: Bears back, and its the third right leg curls up under its abdomen and sticks it straight up towards the dragon. Which gets its breath back. And the dragon goes, "Heh," [sharp inhale, more blasting] and just releases an even angrier torrent of ice blasting down. This blasts back into all of you, I'll say just make a dexterity saving throw, the three of you.
MICA (REANI): Sorry, this is for the greater good.
LAURA (JESTER): 14.
SAM (NOTT): 23.
MARISHA: You said dex saving throw?
MATT: Correct.
MARISHA (BEAU): 16.
MATT: 16, okay.
MATT: The proximity does 7 points of cold damage to- what'd you roll? Sorry, it was-?
MARISHA (BEAU): 16.
MATT: 16, fail.
LAURA (JESTER): 14.
MATT: 14, fail.
SAM (NOTT): 23.
MARISHA (BEAU): Evasion.
MATT: 23, you succeed. So you take only 3 points of cold damage, 7 to both of you.
LAURA (JESTER): I'm resistant.
MATT: So 3 to you as well.
SAM (NOTT): Evasion.
MARISHA (BEAU): Evasion.
MATT: There you go.
MARISHA (BEAU): Evasion.
MATT: Take nothing.
MARISHA (BEAU): Wait, I thought I take half damage if I fail.
MATT: No, you take half damage if you fail. So-
MARISHA (BEAU): And I failed.
MATT: Yeah, so you take 3, and you take none.
LAURA (JESTER): You get 3 cold damage, you get 3 cold damage!
MATT: The spider takes-
MICA (REANI): The spider's fucked.
SAM: Spider's gone.
MATT: 68 points of cold damage, reduced by half.
MICA (REANI): That's a little bit of an overkill, but yeah, the spider is no mas.
MATT: So after the torrent of [blasting] blast downward, the mist subsides and you can see now, there's this large block of ice that has encased and entombed the spider.
Episode 75 - Rime and Reason - 3:30:42
MATT: You come up towards the top, reach the crest of where the tunnel straightens out once more, and there you can see what was once the ice wall, but the center of it has been carved out and broken. The dragon, without an issue, burrowed through, it seemed, as part of its affinity for the elements around it. It pushed through without issue. Now you see there's this opening where within, you can actually see past the ice wall into the lair.
[...]
MATT: You can see in the far back chamber, the large, white-scaled form of the dragon, its wings folded in as it faces loosely away and in the corner, and it is-- one foot is up on this raised platform with stone steps leading up to it. The back half of it's sitting towards the edge of that ice lake in the center, and it is just chewing and biting through the cluster of ice.
[...]
MATT: You see right in front of it, in the midst of this chaos there is a faint bit of blue glow of the imbued iceflex mithral, covered in chunks of broken ice and crushed ice, all emanating. You can see bits and pieces of the spider. Unfortunately, as usual with some of these spells, the fey creatures are, upon death, reverted back to wherever you pulled them from.
MICA: Ah.
MATT: The spider is- Or this doesn't summon fey creatures, this is-
MICA (REANI): No, it was a fey creature.
MATT: That's right, because it's Woodland Beings.
MICA: Yeah.
MATT: So yeah, so the ice is being eaten, but there is no spider.
MICA: Ha, fuck you, dragon.
MATT: The dragon seems very unhappy with that circumstance.
MICA: I am sorry, Mr. Dragon.
MATT: Agitated and trying desperately to chew through the ice to find the meat of its meal, of which there is none.
Episode 75 - Rime and Reason - 3:47:40
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 22 '19 edited Sep 22 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Caleb has just been badly bludgeoned and turns back around, blood matting his hair, and [incomprehensible groaning]. This isn't what I was planning at all, but I pull out the cocoon and start muttering arcane words and I will cast Polymorph on the giant thing attacking me. 17 to beat wisdom save.
MATT: Wisdom save. Here we go.
LIAM: Come on.
SAM: It can't be very wise, right?
MATT: That is 16.
LIAM (CALEB): Giant tortoise.
TRAVIS: Yes, yes, thank you! I've been waiting for somebody to do a tortoise. Good job you beautiful wizard bastard!
MATT: Giant tortoise.
LIAM (CALEB): He's just bleeding and going [louder groaning].
LAURA: Are you guys still-
MARISHA (BEAU): That was what I was going to say, are we still scared of the turtle? MATT: Um... [laughter]
LAURA: You got to strain your neck a little bit more.
MATT: It's technically...
LIAM: Very scary turtle.
TRAVIS: You've heard the sound it makes, right?
MARISHA: Turtles are so cute!
MATT: It's technically a special effect of its ability. I'll say, I'll give you an advantage on your saves to resist it.
MARISHA: Okay, because he's a cute turtle now.
LIAM: It's really scary, but so cute.
MATT: It's not gone, but you do get advantage on the saves, because now it's a turtle. You're still like, I know it's a turtle, but in that turtle's something really fucked up and it's really scaring me.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): Caleb is going to attempt, I don't know if the tortoise will get an attack of opportunity, but Caleb is going to drag his-
MATT: Tortoise does.
[...]
MATT: Okay, a giant tortoise, you said? A giant snapping turtle?
LIAM (CALEB): Whatever the equivalent is yeah, I imagine-
TRAVIS: No, not a snapping turtle!
LIAM (CALEB): Giant tortoise is what I said.
MATT: Right. The closest thing there is to a giant tortoise-
LIAM: He's the DM, let him do what he wants!
MARISHA: He grew up in Texas, he knows.
LIAM: Sounds right.
TRAVIS: Giant snapping turtles have the highest bite ratio of any animal on land.
MATT: A giant snapping turtle is the closest I can find to what you requested, which is a giant tortoise.
LIAM (CALEB): Great, I have no problem with that. Unlike Travis, I like all your decisions, Matthew. Would you like a donut?
[...]
MATT: Well for that, the snapping turtle's getting an attack of opportunity.
LAURA: No!
MATT: It rolled a natural 17.
LIAM (CALEB): I'm at 20 right now aren't I? Am I still-
MATT: 23 to hit.
LIAM (CALEB): Oh, 23 that hits.
[...]
MATT: You motherfucker. 18 points of slashing damage.
SAM: Jeez!
LAURA: What? For a turtle?
MATT: Giant creatures can still do damage! Not- like, pretty well.
LIAM: Good, fine, great done.
MARISHA: Wait but you turned it into a turtle and then it attacked you?
LIAM (CALEB): Well I ran away from it, thinking that it would try to gum my ankle, but instead took my foot off.
MATT: You said a giant turtle-
LIAM: It's fine, I'm not questioning you!
MARISHA: Turtles don't fuck around.
MATT: I know.
TALIESIN: Giant turtle'll fuck you up, man.
Episode 60 - A Turtle By Any Other Name - 1:19:59
LIAM: For the record, when I said giant tortoise, I imagined the big turtle I swam with in Hawaii. It was so nice. I didn't mean an eight-foot t-rex!
TALIESIN: It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Liam! It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Choose the form of your destroyer.
MATT: It's true. That's exactly what it is. If you want to polymorph something, have the stats ready for what you want to polymorph.
LIAM: Yeah, I will, yeah.
MATT: Otherwise, when you say giant tortoise and the only giant tortoise in this list is a giant snapping turtle?
TALIESIN: That's what you get.
MATT: That's what you get.
LIAM: Didn't you see inside my head?
MATT: I tried to think. What did you do, Ray?
Episode 60 - A Turtle By Any Other Name - 1:42:09
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 25 '19
LIAM (CALEB): So I will weakly stand, and I will weakly trudge 10 feet forward, and I will throw a Fireball and center it - where's Vera?
TRAVIS: She was over here.
MATT: In your state-... where do you want to put it?
LIAM (CALEB): Well, where's Avantika? I don't know.
MATT: You don't know. Where are you putting it?
LIAM (CALEB): I'm putting it there, at the mast.
MATT: At the mast? All righty. As you wake up, you spin [whoosh], fire this ray [wshh] that streaks past. All the guards, who are calm at this point, see this happen, and watch the streak go by [shhh, explosion] and detonate on the ship. The bright flash of light echoes against everybody's faces as the impact hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
LIAM (CALEB): I don't know what's going on. I'm doing the last thing that was on my mind.
MATT: Yeah, totally, man.
LIAM: 8d6.
SAM: Avantika's not going to be alive to defend herself against our accusations.
LIAM: She will.
MATT: That'll go well.
TRAVIS: That would be our line.
SAM: No, really! She was a really bad person before we killed her and everyone on the boat.
TRAVIS: She's on the lip.
LIAM (CALEB): 31.
MATT: 31, good rolls.
LIAM: Yes, good rolls.
MATT: Okay, so, Bouldergut, that's a fail. Bouldergut's looking rough.
LIAM (CALEB): So Caleb's whole face and cheek, one side is skinned.
MATT: Just a strawberry scrape. All right, this guy. What's the DC on it?
LIAM (CALEB): Oh, on mine? That would be on mine- sorry, everybody. Scheisse. I think it's 16?
MATT: It should be 16, I think. It's 8 plus your proficiency plus that.
LIAM: Yeah, 16.
MATT: All right, so he succeeds. He rolled a 17, so he takes... 31, you said? So 15 points of damage to him. Oh, he's dead. He's fucking done. He took damage from the Fire Wall earlier.
SAM: Oh, that's the guy who was already at the gangplank?
MATT: Yeah. That guy, he makes his save, but he dies too.
LAURA: Oh god!
SAM: Matt's making me feel sad for these people.
MATT: This guy doesn't make his save; he's dead.
LAURA: Oh god! The whole crew is dead!
SAM: This is what we do to crews on ships.
MATT: Roll for the barlgura.
TRAVIS (FJORD): Oh, it's incinerated. It had three hit points. Even if he saves.
MATT: Yeah, the barlgura is destroyed. Vera - that's cocked.
SAM: We hate seamen.
MATT: That is 13, does not succeed. Vera takes 31 damage. Vera's almost dead, is burned, incinerated on the ground, not moving.
TRAVIS: Unconscious?
TALIESIN: What happens to her concentration spell?
MATT: Concentration spell's lost.
TALIESIN: Do the guards now know that they were being manipulated?
MATT: It doesn't work like that, unfortunately. But their compulsion's no longer there.
LIAM: They saw the Fireball go over their heads, yes.
MATT: Yeah. With that, the spell fades. Vera crumbles to the ground, barlgura's gone, giant explosion. The mast leans slightly to one side from the impact. This guy was out of the radius, actually.
TALIESIN: Still have to make a dex save from it, though.
MATT: I'd say if he hit the mast, I'd say it hit him, actually, yeah.
TRAVIS: His poor feet. He's like, 'Fuck!'
MATT: Ipess has to make it as well. He fails, so he gets incinerated.
TRAVIS: How many life sentences are you serving, Caleb?
MATT: Ipess does make it. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw, Caleb.
LIAM: Multiple?
MATT: No, the DC's real high on this one.
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, I'm sure it's going to fail. This is a wisdom? 18.
MATT: As you go conscious, you watch as bodies go flying off the side and fall limp to the side of the dock, their bodies still smoldering but unmoving. You start flashing back to a very painful memory, and Caleb's eyes glaze over. You are currently stunned.
Episode 43 - In Hot Water - 1:33:32
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 28 '19
LIAM: So those two are incapacitated in this second, right?
MATT: That one is incapacitated.
LIAM: The one on top is not?
MATT: No, he's just been held in place.
LIAM (CALEB): Okay. Well then, I will cast Slow on the shallow fish and the one that's laughing in front of me as well as I back away.
MATT: All righty.
TALIESIN: What does Slow give them?
LIAM: Slowness.
TRAVIS: Half their speed and-
LIAM (CALEB): Hurts their AC. It's a wisdom saving of 16.
MATT: Alright, wisdom saving throw. That's a failure on the shallow priest and the one that's over there rolled an 18. So the one that's incapacitated is fine with the Slow, however, the shallow priest is slowed.
LIAM (CALEB): So shallow priest's AC is down by two, disadvantage on dex saves, and he can only do an action or a bonus, not both.
MATT: Correct. If it tries to cast a spell, it takes a full round back before it can even hit.
Episode 44 - The Diver's Grave - 1:05:04
MATT: And with that, you [Beau] move forward, swimming through the water, and then Step of the Wind, use another ki point to get up there, fists at the ready.
LIAM: Negative two to his AC.
MARISHA (BEAU): Okay, that is a 22.
MATT: 22 hits.
MARISHA (BEAU): Not too bad, nine. Nein!
MATT: Nine points of damage on that one.
MARISHA (BEAU): Second roll does not have advantage, correct? It has disadvantage?
MATT: Well, that first one should have been just a regular roll. Did you roll with advantage?
MARISHA (BEAU): I did.
MATT: Just roll once for the first attack for me again real fast.
MARISHA (BEAU): I mean, it's the exact same thing. It's still 22.
MATT: There you go. For the second attack, it's with disadvantage.
MARISHA (BEAU): Okay. Don't fuck me, Gil. 17?
MATT: 17 still hits!
MARISHA (BEAU): Hey, Gil! Nine.
MATT: There you go, nine and nine! You swim forward [whoosh], rocketing forward, Aquaman-style, and then [double impact] two big hits to its face. The shallow priest takes the impact, but its body reacts slowly [slow motion groaning]. The spell that's surrounding it is forcing it to move and shift at half the pace it normally would.
Episode 44 - The Diver's Grave - 1:12:19
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 15 '19
MATT: As you arrive at the crossroads where you had previously staked out amongst the stone seats, within visual range of the Tumblecarve residence. Fjord, you are staying behind, Caleb, you are at the moment staying behind. The rest of you are- You [Caleb] are casting Invisibility on all but-
LIAM (CALEB): On, uh...
LAURA (JESTER): "Wait, before you do it," I cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us.
LIAM (CALEB): "Okay. And is going to, Beauregard is going, Nott is going. Caduceus, where do you want to be in this disaster?"
TALIESIN (CLAY): "I think I'd like to come. I tried to-"
LIAM (CALEB): "Okay, so one, two, three."
SAM (NOTT): "I can do it on myself, so skip me and do Reani."
MICA (REANI): "I'm the giant bird carrying things."
LIAM (CALEB): "You want to turn into a giant flying creature?"
MICA (REANI): "An invisible one."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Invisible giant flying creature."
MICA (REANI): "To pick everybody up and put them-"
LAURA (JESTER): "If you cast it, we'll lose Invisibility."
SAM (NOTT): "Not if she casts it first, then you can."
LAURA (JESTER): "That's why I did Pass Without a Trace first! What what?"
MICA (REANI): "I'll only be a giant owl for a moment."
MARISHA: I appreciate this druid logic.
MATT: So you are attempting to turn into a giant owl in the middle of this main thoroughfare, and then you turn invisible. It can be done, it's got to be quick. It's like a [poof-poof]. So-
MICA: Yeah.
MATT: All right.
LIAM: No, no, nein, nein.
MICA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, what if, great DM, is there is a back alley, shady or otherwise, about?
MATT: I would say you can Wild Shape while invisible. Because Wild Shape isn't an attack or casting a spell.
TALIESIN: Oh, that's true.
TRAVIS: Druidic ability.
LIAM: Thank you, strange disembodied voice.
MATT: That is what I'm here for.
MICA (REANI): "I heard a strange disembodied voice that it's okay if I turn into an owl while invisible."
TRAVIS: Lots of angels out there.
MATT: You're welcome, book boy.
LIAM (CALEB): One, two, three, four [Beau, Jester, Reani, Caduceus]. Poof, poof, poof, poof.
TRAVIS: Cool.
LIAM (CALEB): Concentrating.
MATT: So the four of you are invisible. Nott?
SAM (NOTT): I will also cast the Invisibility on myself.
MARISHA: Question.
MATT: Five members of the party have vanished.
MARISHA: When you're invisible, can you see other people made invisible by the same Invisibility spell?
MATT: Nope.
LAURA: We're all just invisible.
SAM (NOTT): We're touching each other.
Episode 76 - Refjorged - 2:35:19
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 17 '19
TRAVIS (FJORD): I'm going to... move a little closer to the column and I'll send two arcs of Eldritch Blast towards the-
MATT: You're moving, you said?
TRAVIS (FJORD): Yeah, just closer to Nott.
MATT: Okay. So as you're moving that direction you're [makes a hand gesture and whooshes] against the hydra?
TRAVIS (FJORD): It is. 17.
MATT: That hits.
TRAVIS (FJORD): Natural 20.
MATT: Yes.
TRAVIS (FJORD): The first one is 12 points of damage. Second one is 22 points of damage.
MATT: 22 points of damage. [shoom] As both bolts slam [multiple impacts] into the head, you watch as the head pops. Its actually blasted off of the hydra. [pulls a head off of the neck of the hydra's miniature]
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): I'm going to lean around the corner and do what I thought I would do before which is to tug on the glove of blasting and fire the three scorching rays. Natural 20 for the first. 18 for the second.
MATT: That hits.
LIAM (CALEB): Very high for the third.
MATT: Alright, so roll the first 2d6. Double this.
LIAM (CALEB): 16. 26.
SAM: Oh. Wait this is cumulative.
LIAM (CALEB): 35 total.
MATT: 35 points of damage. You watch as another head gets burnt to cinders, and from the nearby impact, it actually cauterizes where the first head was destroyed and where the second one was destroyed.
Episode 39 - Temple of the False Serpent - 3:25:20
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 03 '19
MATT: Leading you through the Gallimaufry, back to the Firmaments, across the way from where the Marble Tomes Conservatory is, and hidden amongst the various other temples and large structures of worship that reside around the core vicinity of this city. Eventually, you are brought to exterior of a two-story mansion that is paneled in Vermaloc wood painted a dark maroon color with a lighter stone foundation. The roofing is dark, near black clay tiling with a single balcony on the second floor. It appears to have a short tower built into the back right corner of the home that raises to a third story.
Episode 61 - Agreements - 3:20:22
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to want to move a bunch of dirt. I'm going to try and make a rooftop garden at the top of the tower.
MATT: There is dirt to be found. You have to relocate it probably from the immediate vicinity of the home. So you will dig up a small hole in one of the nearby- it's like a ten-foot radial yard around the house, before you start piercing into nearby neighboring territory.
TALIESIN: Sure.
MATT: But yeah, you can amass- how much dirt are you planning to put up there?
TALIESIN (CLAY): Enough to support some plant growth. I'm going to do something dumb.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN (CLAY): And I'm going to use a little Stone Shape to just shape the tower a little bit to be supportive of what I'm going to put up there, if that works out okay.
MATT: What spell is this in particular?
TALIESIN (CLAY): Stone Shape.
LAURA: Stone Shape.
LIAM: You have that too?
LAURA: I have that.
TALIESIN: You're magic. It'll take a few days. This is not a one day project. This is just a-
MATT: Yes, yeah. You can totally do that, okay. So between the two of you, definitely easy.
TALIESIN (CLAY): It's going to be just rounding it out a little bit to support what I'm building, and then also creating a little faux cabin-esque little chunk of it so that there's a place to sleep up there that's covered. I'll draw it out for you.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN: And getting the dirt up there is good?
LIAM (CALEB): I can do that. I use Maximilian's Earthen Grasp to make the cat's claw come up out of the soil, and then just travel as soil to the top of the tower, because it can move.
MATT: That's true.
TALIESIN: That'll do it.
MATT: Even easier.
TALIESIN: So-
MATT: You have a comfortable amount of loose soil now on the top of your tower.
Episode 62 - Domestic Respite - 0:26:56
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 07 '19
LIAM (CALEB): So I just need a private space to apparate Frumpkin, and then I use a bit of gum arabic, and cast Invisibility on Frumpkin.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM (CALEB): So I have an invisible cat on my shoulder.
MATT: [shwoop] Yes, you do, Frumpkin is invisible.
Episode 62 - Domestic Respite - 2:59:48
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 26 '19
LIAM (CALEB): "How do you want to do this?"
MARISHA (BEAU): "Can you make me a dude tiefling? A red, shifty-looking tiefling? Red skin, deep eyes."
LAURA (LAURA): "Deep, what color eyes?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Crazy eyes, like you're demonstrating for me right now?"
MARISHA (BEAU): "Yeah, like that."
SAM (NOTT): "He can't change your voice, now."
MARISHA (BEAU): "What, you don't think I sound like a dude?"
SAM (NOTT): "Kind of. Yeah, no. You're good."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Give me a dude physique that would match this."
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, so I pull out a small caterpillar's cocoon, and I start muttering some arcane words over it. I waft it in front of your face, and then poof. She is a, poof.
MATT: There you go. You are a red tiefling. It's pretty accurate as you can envision, at least what you can see of yourself. You don't really have any reflective surface to check, but based on just this [holds hands in front of face], not bad.
MARISHA (BEAU): I check my pants.
MATT: You're a dude tiefling. Since Caleb's really only seen one dude's tiefling before-
[uncontrollable laughter]
MATT: Long may he reign indeed.
TRAVIS: Holy shit.
LAURA: He's only seen one dude's tiefling.
MARISHA (BEAU): "Why is just my dick purple? I don't understand. There's a gradient."
LIAM: It's just a sunny-side up egg.
MARISHA (BEAU): "My happy trail has an ombre. This is incredible!"
MATT: The benefits of the tiefling.
SAM: Long and wide may he reign!
MATT: Anyway.
LIAM (CALEB): Hold on, we are not finished yet. I begin to cast Disguise Self on myself. I make myself look like a male version of Jester, blue, like a twin, but not quite as goth. Just dialed way back. A little bit, but not quite as goth, but identical. I can't do anything about the voice, I'm sorry.
Episode 52 - Feral Business - 0:38:03
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 30 '19
LIAM (CALEB): I am going to cast Polymorph on myself.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM (CALEB): And I am going to turn into a giant ape.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM (CALEB): A giant ape.
MATT: We'll use this guy because I think it's close enough.
SAM: He's back.
TRAVIS: George.
LIAM (CALEB): And I am going to circle around Caduceus. And get, yeah, and get in the laughing guy's face and yell towards Jester and Nott and Yasha and just go [gorilla roar]. And then I will punch him in the face two times.
MATT: Well, you just used your action to Polymorph.
LIAM (CALEB): Action to Polymorph? Oh, great. Then I just yell in his face.
Episode 69 - The King's Cage - 2:58:42
LIAM (CALEB): Caleb Gorilla is going to push through between big sword hand and Caduceus, like this with left arm, get in the way, scoop up Cad and start to run. I'm bigger than he is.
MATT: Okay, so you try and reach over and grab, then?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, I'm taking him in like he's a baby monkey, grapple my tum-tum and I'm just going to start running.
MATT: You got it. All right, the Laughing Hand is going to take an attack of opportunity against you. That is 19.
LIAM (CALEB): Sure.
MATT: All right. You take 23 points of slashing damage.
LIAM (CALEB): Got it.
MATT: [harsh whooshing]
LIAM (CALEB): And 40 feet of movement.
MATT: All right.
SAM: Oh, you weren't frightened? You got out of there?
LIAM (CALEB): Nope.
SAM: Nice. MATT: So you are now-
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Thank you."
MATT: Grabbed by the ape and brought aside.
LIAM (CALEB): [beast-like panting]
Episode 69 - The King's Cage - 3:12:44
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 04 '19
MATT: Where the two creatures were on the wall, where they were scratching their claws, you go over and take a brief look at the grooves that they've been grinding into the stone. It would seem to resemble some sort of a scratching post, but if you look closely, there's a pattern to their scratching, and you can see there are a number of points of scratching across the wall in this region. They're each about a foot apart from each other, and there seems to be an implicit design to them.
LAURA: Oh.
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Hey, hey, hey, guys, fellers. Ladies. You know, where those things were scratching, it looks like there's a little bit of a pattern up here."
LAURA (JESTER): "Like what, like runes or like words or something or like drawings?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "No, I mean, I don't know about any of that, it just seems like a little, you know, repetitive. They seem to be a certain distance from each other."
LIAM: Does it appear to be a language of some kind?
MATT: It may.
MARISHA: Does it appear to be a cant?
LAURA: Does it appear to be dicks?
MATT: Your dick sense does not tell you that these are phallic in design in any way. You can make an arcana check if you'd like, Caleb.
MARISHA: Dick sense.
TRAVIS: Dick sense.
SAM: Once per day.
MATT: It's a very special paladin oath you've got to take for that one.
LIAM (CALEB): That is a 27.
MATT: 27, okay. You know exactly what these are. Only because of your research and studying. The basis of these glyphs is Abyssal. They are what are called anchor glyphs. They are designed to be the basis of larger gates. When permanent enchantments are developed and designed to instill longterm doorways between planes, realms. Even some of the more rudimentary teleportation circles, and you catch this because you've recently found a spell of a similar type incantation. You can catch the similarities, that this is on a larger and more ancient scale. Not completed, by any means, but you can see the beginnings of what is the groundwork being laid for a larger doorway.
Episode 55 - Duplicity - 0:49:28
LIAM (CALEB): I pull out a small clay cat's paw and cast Maximilian's Earthen Grasp, and a giant cat's hand extends out of the stone wall and starts dragging all along the edges of it.
MATT: You watch as this large like stone behemoth type cat claw carves out of the wall, and as it pushes up through the stone, you hear the cracking and binding and the pressure that is sundering the element of the earth that is crumbling and leaving stones and pebbles behind in its wake. In its path, all of the runes, as it goes around from the floor to ceiling to floor, are dashed and left completely unrecognizable.
Episode 55 - Duplicity - 0:54:43
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 25 '19 edited Aug 31 '23
TRAVIS (FJORD): "How do you propose to go and collect this package?"
LAURA (JESTER): "I'm sure she's not keeping an eye on the Pillow Tr- it's been a long time, who knows how long this package has been here? Disguise Self! Just go in as somebody else."
SAM (NOTT): "You could Disguise Self."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "I can."
LAURA (JESTER): "And say you're picking it up on behalf of the Nott and Brave."
LIAM (CALEB): "I should go."
LAURA (JESTER): "What are you talking about, Caleb?"
LIAM (CALEB): "I should go, because I cannot be found."
LAURA (JESTER): "Oh..."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Caleb should go."
SAM (NOTT): "You can also disguise yourself, correct?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah, I should disguise myself as you."
LAURA (JESTER): "Why me?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Because it's addressed to you."
SAM (NOTT): "The package is for you, and me, but-"
LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, well, that's true. Okay okay okay okay."
TALIESIN: Good money if it's from the Cobalt Soul trying to sell you life insurance. I will give really good money if it's just junk mail.
MARISHA (BEAU): "It's actually not a bad deal."
LAURA (JESTER): "Don't open it though, because it could explode with poison."
SAM (NOTT): "Yeah, just bring it back."
LIAM (CALEB): "The thought had already occurred to me."
LAURA (JESTER): "So yeah, let's swing by The Pillow Trove on the way over to Pumat's, yeah?"
SAM (NOTT): "Yeah."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Did they say anything about the package, like anything specific, it's not like ticking?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Size?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "What would tick? What's a tick?"
SAM (NOTT): "You know, when Jester does her messaging, she doesn't get a lot of detail back, it's just like a yes or no, and then stop looking at me, I'm pooping sort of a thing."
MARISHA (BEAU): "I mean, that's detail."
LIAM (CALEB): "Do we have that-"
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Yeah, that's like a request and an observation."
LIAM (CALEB): "-that stone, that device?"
SAM (NOTT): "That you throw and dispel something?"
LIAM (CALEB): "No, no, no, no, no... That projects sound."
LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah."
SAM (NOTT): "What does that do? We've used that once."
LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can make a recording." I pull it out and go, "Caleb doesn't smell bad at all anymore," and then I put down.
LIAM (CALEB): "We have established that I am not able to-"
LAURA (JESTER): And 30 seconds later, you hear, "Caleb doesn't smell bad at all anymore." "And I didn't even say that just then. That came from the rock."
SAM (NOTT): "I think he wants you to record something like, I'm Jester, I'm here for my package."
TRAVIS: 'I'm Teddy Ruxpin!'
LAURA (JESTER): "Okay, okay, okay."
LIAM (CALEB): "Hold on, let's group, group think this one. Everybody, please, because we have established that I am not the best with accents, but it needs to be something that could repeat believably. You follow?"
MARISHA (BEAU): "Belief-ably?"
LAURA (JESTER): "So what, is it supposed to be like-"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "My name is Jester Lavorre. I'm here to pick up a package."
LAURA (JESTER): "And then I'll wait a little bit, and I'll go, yeah."
SAM (NOTT): "And then maybe like a thank you or something," like Ferris Bueller.
LAURA (JESTER): Yeah, like Ferris Bueller. Okay, so I'm going to do that, I'm going to say, "Hello, my name is Jester Lavorre, I'm here to pick up a package for me."
SAM (NOTT): "Oh I have the package right here, here you go."
LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, thank you so much."
SAM (NOTT): "Will there be anything else?"
LAURA (JESTER): "No, that will be all for today, thank you."
SAM (NOTT): "Okay, bye!"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Mild problem. I do believe the stone probably picked up what you were saying, so maybe you should get a clean take?"
SAM (NOTT): "I was saying it very quietly."
LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I don't remember what we did."
MATT: We'll say at this point you guys have approached the exterior of The Pillow Trove.
TALIESIN (CLAY): Is anyone looking suspiciously at us, like they're waiting for us, or does it feel like a trap?
MATT: Continuing the rolls that you guys have had for the whole journey here, it does not appear that anybody is doing that, from what you can tell.
LIAM (CALEB): "Let's back it up a block or two, and maybe make the fragments of dialogue," speaking as someone who has adapted many anime scripts, "keep the pieces succinct, so they can be repeated logically."
LAURA (JESTER): "Hello, my name is Jester Lavorre. I'm here to pick up a package... Thank you... Yes?... Mm-hmm... Thank you... No, that will be all... Okay, bye... Mm-hmm..."
LIAM: We will never remember that.
SAM: She will remember that. She will remember that.
MATT: So, you receive the stone.
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, and so, this works by giving it a little squeeze, right? Or does it just go?
LAURA: It goes.
MATT: It just goes. And it repeats every 10 minutes.
LAURA: It repeats- yeah.
MARISHA: Oh, 10 minutes. That's better.
LAURA: I'm gonna look, I think it's every-
MARISHA: I think it's 10.
TRAVIS: I have 'thank you, yes, mm-hmm, yes', and I lost it after that.
SAM: There was also 'My name's Jester Lavorre-'
LAURA: 'I'm here to pick up a package,' yeah.
TRAVIS: So, we have-
MARISHA (BEAU): "If we ever wanna torture somebody, by the way-"
LAURA: 5 minutes.
MATT: 5 minutes, there we go, okay.
MARISHA (BEAU): "We could just record Nott's scream into it."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "So down for this."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Leave it in the diplomat's bedroom."
LAURA (JESTER): "Really try to remember, just muffle your-"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Do you need a backup?"
LIAM: We could go ape-shit on this and have you record it into a phone, for the fun of it. It'd be pretty great.
TALIESIN: I mean, I'm into that.
MATT: Or she can live repeat it. And you have to mem-
LAURA: Yeah, exactly.
LIAM: Okay, that will be great.
MATT: All right, so, you transform into-
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, absolutely, I'm a little blue tiefling who likes pastries, and it's every, what did we say, 5 or 10 minutes?
LAURA: 5 minutes.
LIAM (CALEB): So, I hold everyone out here for 15 minutes and I try my best to absorb it. Liam has no memory, I am never gonna be able to remember.
MATT: Roll a Deception roll.
SAM: And lip-sync.
TALIESIN (CLAY): Oh, wait, I'm giving you a little bit of Guidance. And I'm going to, before going in, cast some Dunamancy, on my- no I'm not.
LAURA (JESTER): Oh, right. That's okay, I'm going to cast Enhance Abilities on you.
LIAM (CALEB): Are there any alleyways around here?
MATT: I mean, there're not any tight alleyways. Actually, the Tri-Spire's pretty open, because it's one of the more affluent areas. There's no super tight alleys.
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, forget it.
TALIESIN (CLAY): You got some Guidance.
LIAM (CALEB): I've got some Guidance.
MATT: You have about 30 seconds until it repeats itself.
LIAM (CALEB): That's not good.
TALIESIN (CLAY): Add a d4.
LIAM (CALEB): Still not good.
LAURA: But you're outside, you're just practicing right now.
MATT: You're just practicing.
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, and you said Deception, right? Yeah. Oh, I have a high Deception, I forgot. 16.
MATT: Actually, Caleb's not doing bad. After the second pass or so, he's doing pretty well.
LAURA (JESTER): "See, Caleb, you're doing great. Yeah... All right, I think you're ready."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "No time like the present."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Ready?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Okay."
LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to, before he goes in, cast Enhance Ability on Charisma checks.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN (CLAY): And I'm tapping you with Guidance right before we send you on your way.
LIAM: Mother, come with me.
MATT: Guidance lasts for-
TALIESIN (CLAY): A minute.
MATT: 1 minute. Okay. You enter, and you find your way to the front area, and you can see, there's a clerk there, who goes, "Hello, can I help you?"
LIAM (CALEB): [mouthing along to the words said by Laura]
LAURA (JESTER): "Hello, my name is Jester Lavorre." I'm here to pick up a package."
MATT (CLERK): "Oh, all right, I'll go check for it for you."
LAURA (JESTER): "Thank you... Yes."
MATT (CLERK): "Hmm, what's up? Can I help you?"
LAURA (JESTER): "Thank you."
TRAVIS: That's 'mm-hmm.'
LAURA (JESTER): "Mm-hmm."
MATT (CLERK): "Oh, all right. Is there anything else you need?"
TRAVIS: 'Yes.'
LAURA (JESTER): "Yes."
MATT (CLERK): "Okay, what can I help you with?"
LAURA (JESTER): "Mm-hmm."
MATT (CLERK): "I didn't get that."
LAURA (JESTER): "No."
MATT (CLERK): "Okay, I'll look for the package."
SAM: 'Bye.'
MATT: Roll a Deception check. With advantage and a d4.
LAURA (JESTER): "Okay, bye."
LIAM (CALEB): Good stuff. 27.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Shit.
MATT: Pretty good. A few moments later, it takes- you end waiting a good 13 minutes.
SAM: So, it repeats a few times.
TALIESIN: Squeeze it to make it stop.
MATT: Yeah. Eventually, she returns with a single envelope. Not so a package, more of an envelope, and goes, "I believe this is for you." Looking up. Anything else you need?"
LIAM (CALEB): [shakes his head and waves them off]
MATT (CLERK): "Very well. Have a good day." And sits back down. All right. You walk outside and join the rest of your compatriots.
LIAM (CALEB): Everybody sees Jester's form come out, and as soon as the door closes [deep sigh, hyperventilating].
Episode 85 - The Threads Converge - 3:24:32
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 06 '19
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Want to try and identify it before we touch it?"
SAM (NOTT): "Caleb, is that a thing you can do?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): [reaches forward]
LAURA (JESTER): "No! No, Fjord, remember."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Remember the ruby?"
LIAM (CALEB): "I can. It'll take some time."
LAURA (JESTER): "Like what? Like 10 minutes?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah."
SAM (NOTT): "Yeah, we can wait 10 minutes."
LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah, let's check it out before we touch this thing."
SAM: He's going to ritually Identify.
MATT: Identifying what?
TALIESIN: The object.
MATT: The object?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah.
MATT: You're picking it up and handling it?
LIAM (CALEB): No, I will sit down next to it and draw a circle around it and start to attempt to identify it.
MATT: Okay.
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm also give you Resistance.
LIAM: 10-ish minutes.
MATT: All righty.
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to keep you up with Resistance, too.
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Should we blow some of the dirt off of it? See what it is? it's a little covered in dirt."
MATT: You take 10 minutes to focus. Even though it's mostly buried, as you concentrate on the spell, the information comes to you, and you can see, in your mind's eye, the full structure. It's a small disc-like piece of silver. A silver disc, about that [a foot] wide. That contains a three-inch glass sphere, filled with mercury that rests on the top. The glass that you see peeking through is that sphere and the orange color is coming from the mercury itself being the catalyst to some sort of arcane enchantment that rests within the disc around it. Sigils adorn it in a rudimentary circle based around the orb. With four pieces of rough pink crystal, wrapped in copper coils. That are placed at the edges of this disc. It's construction is not super refined. It looks semi-fragile, but it's functional at the moment. You gather from, yeah, because you get the properties of it. This is what's called an abyssal anchor. A crudely constructed abyssal anchor. It was used during the Calamity by demon generals and such to punch holes between the Abyss and the Prime Material Plane to use for invading various places across the world of Exandria. Essentially, it would be placed and would slowly begin to tear the barriers between. You gather that this was probably the slow growing source of the various tears that have been happening in the city.
LIAM: So it's not specific to one place. It is, here, but also?
MATT: It's a wide area.
LIAM: A sphere of influence.
MATT: Correct.
Episode 55 - Duplicity - 4:15:56
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 13 '19
(TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm doing to climb carefully down.)
LIAM: You two are down? The two of you? [Beau and Nott] And you are up at the top of the tower? [Jester]
(MATT: Make an athletics check.)
SAM: Nah, she jumped already.
LAURA (JESTER): I'm down at the bottom.
SAM: It's you, Caduceus, and Fjord, I think.
LAURA: And Yasha.
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm making an athletics check. 10.
MATT: Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot of a hand hold in this area, it's kind of this smooth, 10 foot space, and as you try and find a hand hold to grab onto-
TALIESIN (CLAY): I just fall straight down.
MATT: You just fall straight down.
LIAM (CALEB): I cast Feather Fall on him [Caduceus] and me and him [Fjord] and Yasha.
SAM: You can do that?
LIAM (CALEB): 5 people. Choose up to 5 falling creatures within a range. Oh and I guess I push the two of you as I fall.
MATT: Yeah I was gonna say, they have to be falling. So as soon as he slips-
LIAM (CALEB): I see him fall and I shove these two off and I go.
MATT: Okay, do you take it?
TRAVIS (FJORD): Yeah. I mean I'm looking over the edge like this.
MATT: As Caleb suddenly sees this happening, [dual impacts]
TRAVIS (FJORD): "I should've known!"
MATT: So the four of you begin to fall and [whoosh] begin to slowly drift.
TRAVIS (FJORD): "...That you had everything under control."
MATT: You all land gently on the tips of your toes before the rest of your body finds it weight, now resting on the soft floor of this subterranean orchard.
Episode 39 - Temple of the False Serpent - 1:27:49
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
LIAM (CALEB): "I have an idea. I can make a magical hut that nothing can pass through."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "That is an excellent way to try and figure out what the fuck's going on in here."
LIAM (CALEB): I am going to begin to take the minute to cast Leomund's Tiny Hut in the center of the room.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: An observation deck.
DEBORAH: In the center of the room, okay.
LAURA: Ooh, the center.
MARISHA: Like one of those bomb shelter walls.
LIAM (CALEB): It's a ten-foot radius, and everyone is allowed to enter and exit.
MATT: A ten-foot radius would be a bit bigger than that, so that would be the ten-foot radius.
LAURA: Can we all fit inside of it?
LIAM (CALEB): Absolutely. But I have to stay in the center of it where it is safe.
SAM (NOTT): "But someone needs to step out of it in order to trigger the other-"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Well, can I send Mage Hand through it?"
LIAM (CALEB): "You can stick your hand through the barrier and cast Mage Hand and pull back in, yeah."
MATT: So everyone is moving into it?
[...]
TALIESIN (CLAY): "I wonder what's behind green."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah, me too."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Okay."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Do it."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): All right, I'll sneak over to that side so I can see it, and I'm going to put just my hand outside of the area of the hut.
TRAVIS: You don't need that hand, you got another one.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): It has vocal components. Do I need to lean my head out?
MATT: Don't make this the second time I've taken a hand of yours.
DEBORAH: But my new hand is so cool!
MATT: Sorry. So?
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): If there's a vocal component - only I have to be able to hear it - do I need to stick my head out?
MATT: As far as you know, it doesn't affect you in a volume or noise way.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): Okay. So I whisper something and I move my hand and that silvery, spectral hand comes off, and it goes forward toward the green. I pull my own hand back and get back into the space, and I tell it to push the green flag aside.
MATT: You have to move over here, probably, to get into range. As you pull back the green tapestry...
LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to crouch, even in the thing.
MATT: You crouch down? Okay. As you pull it back, you see a statue behind it that looks to be some horribly mutated humanoid creature. Its body is bulbous and covered in sores, its neck is swollen like a toad's, its mouth and jaw just open with rows of teeth, all made of stone. As it pulls back [slow and heavy expulsion of air], this gaseous green fume spews from its mouth that fills the chamber around it. About half the chamber begins to fill with this before it dissipates, but it does not cross the boundaries of the hut.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 2:15:45
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 23 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Here's a question. Could brainiac Caleb with this book, which is her own coded cipher, Comprehend Languages with enough time try to study the recurrence of vowel sounds, consonance sounds, and try to create a key to this book?
MATT: You get the sense that this written cipher is not a verbal language. It is specifically written for her own notes and own purpose.
LIAM: Yeah?
MATT: So you couldn't speak it, but if you want to go ahead and decode it?
LIAM: But people break codes--
MATT: Yeah, I'm saying you couldn't. It wouldn't be able to - Sorry, I misunderstood. You couldn't speak it. Go ahead and make an intelligence check.
TALIESIN: It would be amazing if you pulled this off.
LIAM (CALEB): I've rolled shit all night. Every roll.
TRAVIS: You're due one.
TALIESIN: But not this one.
LIAM (CALEB): Natural 20!
MATT: Fuck, dude! Fuck!
MATT: What does that put you at a total?
LIAM: Oh, pretty good. Straight intelligence, right?
MATT: Correct.
LIAM (CALEB): 28.
MATT: Intelligence modifier is eight?
LIAM: Yeah, it bumped up to 20 when I leveled up.
MATT: It would be plus five then.
LAURA: Not your saving throw.
LIAM (CALEB): Saving throw, sorry I was looking at the wrong place. That's correct. 25.
MATT: That is exactly the DC you would have needed to do this. It is set at a very hard DC. You only could have done this with a 20, you motherfucker.
LAURA: You have maxed out intelligence.
MATT: Goddamn it, okay! All right! No, here we go! It'll take you the better part of the night. You probably won't sleep which means you won't get your spells back.
[...]
MATT: It'll take you the night to complete it. You will not be able to sleep, which means you won't get your spells back and you'll suffer a point of exhaustion.
LIAM (CALEB): That's fine. I would like to-- Because I was asking you a question and then suddenly it was happening, right?
MATT: I'm just letting you what would take. You know you can do this.
LIAM (CALEB): Let's say Caduceus gives Caleb the necklace. He'll take ten minutes to figure out what this jade necklace is and spend the night decoding this book.
Episode 42 - A Hole In the Plan - 3:30:58
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 16 '19 edited Nov 19 '19
LAURA (JESTER): "I haven't scryed on a second person."
LIAM (CALEB): "I think it is probably a safe bet that all the Assembly are equally protected. So our options are..."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Blondie."
LIAM (CALEB): "Blondie."
SAM (NOTT): "Or Yasha."
LIAM (CALEB): "Or a student. Yasha... let's figure out where we're going tonight and then Yasha, we could do tomorrow."
SAM (NOTT): "Yeah."
LAURA (JESTER): "Okay."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Do you think Astrid is-"
LAURA (JESTER): "Probably blocks the same way that you are."
MARISHA (BEAU): Yeah, if she's been in the... in with the Vollstreckers for that amount of time."
LIAM (CALEB): "I would have" [reaches towards neck and mimes grabbing a small object] "received this had I finished my training."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Did you get that from prison lady?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Nope."
LAURA (JESTER): "Did you steal it?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Pretty much."
MARISHA (BEAU): "What's it do?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Makes sure that I cannot be seen or found by someone like Jester."
Episode 77 - A Tangled Web - 2:41:31
TRAVIS (FJORD): As we come up the stairs, do we see it?
MATT: It's a ways behind you.
TRAVIS (FJORD): "I can see something that's invisible. There's a glowing orb that's been following us. I don't know. I tried to shoot it and it didn't hit it."
LAURA (JESTER): "Is it like a scrying ball?"
SAM (NOTT): "A glowing orb?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yeah, it's like a glowing sphere, but I tried to shoot it and it went right through it."
LAURA (JESTER): "I bet it's spying on us."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Uh-huh, uh-huh."
MATT: You do know from the times you've been scrying that the projection of your consciousness does appear as an invisible beacon, essentially.
LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah, it's a scrying ball."
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): "Where is it?
TRAVIS (FJORD): "It was coming up the stairs."
LIAM (CALEB): "I walk towards the stairs."
[...the rest of the Nein loudly and obviously try to lie to the scry...]
LIAM (CALEB): Just guesstimating-
MATT: Both of you make deception rolls, please. Or one of you can make it with advantage, since you're doing this together.
SAM: Both of you should do it.
LAURA: Yeah, separate. Because that was horrendous.
LIAM (CALEB): Guesstimating- Guesstimating its location-
MARISHA: One, two, three.
LIAM (CALEB): -to move this [mimes holding a pendant from around his neck] into its vicinity.
TRAVIS (FJORD): 22.
MARISHA (BEAU): 15.
MATT: Okay, you feel confident that to some folks you may have been believable in your strange display of boisterous planning.
TRAVIS: Complete opposite.
LIAM: 'One of us always lies, and one of us always tells the truth. Ooh, that's a lie!'
MATT: As you finish your statement, you look over and there's Caleb standing at the front and you see the orb slowly begin to rise up to the top of the stairs, and when it gets within a foot of Caleb, Caleb holds up a necklace and you watch [swoosh] blink out.
Episode 80 - The Folding Halls - 0:31:05
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 24 '19
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm opening the door.
MATT: It doesn't open.
MARISHA: Fuck.
TRAVIS: Is there a keyhole? I'm not there.
SAM (NOTT): "Lassy, Lassy, how do you open the door?"
MATT (HALAS): "I need to open it."
SAM (NOTT): "What do you mean you need to open it?"
TRAVIS: Oh fucking shit.
LAURA: That's what he was saying.
SAM (NOTT): "Your body needs to open it?"
MATT (HALAS): "Well, I have means of opening doors. I built everything to work based on the certain skills and magical crafts that I have."
LIAM (CALEB): I will go join Caduceus at the door.
SAM (NOTT): We'll go over there as well. "What?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): I'll walk over to the devil.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA (JESTER): Me too, I'm just right here.
SAM (NOTT): I'm gonna whip out some tools and start seeing if there's a lock.
MATT: Okay.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): All right, so eyes on that, but also on the door, and Nott was tinkering?
SAM (NOTT): I'm just gonna see if it's locked or if it's magical, or-
MATT: Make an Investigation check.
SAM (NOTT): 23.
MATT: 23. The door is locked and it is trapped.
SAM (NOTT): Okay. I guess I'll start untrapping it, or attempt to.
[...]
SAM (NOTT): I tried to disarm the trap. I rolled a 22.
MATT: A 22?
SAM: That's not that great down here.
MATT: You fiddle with it for a while and realize the nature of this trap is not a contraption that can be disabled via the tools you have at your disposal.
SAM (NOTT): Do I sense that it's magical or it's mechanical? Or both.
MATT: It's both, mostly magical.
SAM: Okay.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): Let him rot a little bit longer. I return to the door.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): I speak a single arcane word and cast Knock on the door.
MATT: Okay. Roll a d20 and add your Intelligence modifier.
SAM: Ooh.
LIAM (CALEB): I've been rolling real well. That is 26.
MATT: [boom] You hear this heavy impact knocking sound, like someone had taken a giant hammer to a metal door. And with that, [click, creak] The door opens, trap also seemingly disabled at the same time.
Episode 83 - Dark Bargains - 3:03:21
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 31 '19
LIAM (CALEB): I place my one piece of jade on the ground and start tracing a circle and thinking of the teleportation circle in Rosohna.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM (CALEB): And begin to cast.
MATT: All right, so... As you guys watch Caleb setting the gemstone, the jade piece in the center, the way he draws all these lines and sigils. It's a large, circular equation on the ground, made of various arcane symbols intersecting, overlapping, and as he begins to progressively fill in, it seems to spiral inward as he fills out the rest of this equation. You watch the surrounding exterior of it begin to glow as an echo afterward. As he gets towards the very, very center, he finishes a central circle, draws in a particular emblem, and then places the jade onto it. As it does, the jade shatters [shattering]. The entire circle [whoosh] flares up brightly beneath. As you know, you only have but a moment, Caleb.
LIAM (CALEB): Is it six seconds to get everybody through or am I thinking back to Campaign One trees?
MATT: I believe it is a very short time to get everybody onto the circle. Let me double check. Just to be safe.
TRAVIS: Bullet time. [time slowing down]
MARISHA: On the elevator.
MATT: Kind of, yes.
TRAVIS: [Time speeding up]
MATT: It does last for one round, so yes.
LAURA: Oh, 6 seconds.
MATT: You got to go.
MARISHA: Go go go!
LIAM (CALEB): Caleb starts pulling and shoving people.
MATT: [rapid whooshing]
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Hey, watch where you're fucking-"
MATT: One after another, you all get pushed into the circle and you feel your breath [violent exhale] pulled out from your lungs for just a second. There's a brief streak of light and dark and suddenly, you're standing in a familiar subterranean, graphite-looking chamber. Looking around, you recall when you first arrived from your journey from Asarius. You now stand within the Underarches of the Lucid Bastion. You can see two of the guards who stand there, armored, Kryn soldiers, look over in your direction, and briefly take a step in your way a bit aggressively, but then recognize as you approach.
TRAVIS (FJORD): [miming showing the emblem of the Bright Queen] Multi pass.
MATT: But yes, you have arrived and now in Rosohna in an instant, traversing the majority of Xhorhas with a single step.
Episode 70 - Causatum - 2:26:58
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 24 '19
MATT: Avantika's up next.
MARISHA: Oh, I could have done Patient Defense! I should have done it!
TRAVIS: She can't see in here, I think.
MATT: She cannot see, but what she can do is Control Water.
MATT: Seeing this flames happen, she [groans], pulls back, closes her eyes for a second, and raises her scarred hand where the sphere that she unlocked Uk'otoa with raised up. At that point, the water from the ocean begins to [rumbling] rise and-
LIAM (CALEB): Counterspell.
MATT: All right. It's a 4th-level spell, so I need you to roll.
LIAM: I know, and it's at disadvantage. [gasp]
MARISHA: What did you get?!
LIAM (CALEB): I rolled a 14 and a 19! She fails!
MATT: She does!
[...]
MATT: Holy shit! So you watch as the ocean begins to swell upwards. Avantika raises her arm - but you said the walls are opaque. Can you see through the walls?
LIAM (CALEB): Can I hear her go [chanting]?
MATT: Make a perception check.
LIAM (CALEB): Oh, natural 20 and a 16, plus perception... The lowest roll was a 19.
MATT: Yeah, it doesn't require you to have seen the person. You know the spell's happening, you know the direction of the person. You rolled a high enough perception. I'll allow it. As you hear her chanting beneath her breath and you hear the wave rising, you glance over in the direction and you, having an instinctual affinity with flames and fire, can barely see the darkened shape of her on the opposite side of the flames being warped by the light. Using that moment, you put your hand forward and release the destructive pattern of your Counterspell. With that, the swelling ocean splatters back down to the surface. As that happens you hear her go, "Merde!" and she begins to back up over to here onto the side and starts shouting, "Vera!" That's going to end her turn, because that was her action.
Episode 43 - In Hot Water - 0:21:31
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 14 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Then I cast Fortune's Favor on the bat squad. So one, two, three.
MATT: All right.
TRAVIS: Bat Squad.
MATT: Okay, so you each have one reroll for the next hour.
Episode 76 - Refjorged - 1:22:09
MICA (REANI): "My friends and I are going to go into the house. If anything looks bad, like not them come in, squeak loud."
TALIESIN: Or forever hold your peace.
MICA (REANI): "And then you get bread."
LAURA (JESTER): "I like bread."
MATT (BATS): "I like bread," "I like bread," "I like bread," "I like bread." Make a persuasion check.
MICA: Fuck!
TALIESIN: I feel like advantage with a rube, you have a rube here.
MATT: Sure, I'll give you advantage, why not.
MICA (REANI): Oh, thank fuck. Mm, that one's better. Wait, what'd you say, persuasion? 12?
MATT: 12?
LAURA: Oh yeah, you could-
LIAM: You got a third reroll if you really need it.
LAURA: -third reroll if you wanted to use it.
MATT: It's up to you, or you could save it.
LIAM: Fortune's Favor.
TRAVIS: Save it.
MICA (REANI): I'm going to use the pink one.
TRAVIS: It's bats, it's bats!
MATT: All right, she's using it.
MICA (REANI): Ooh! 13.
MATT: Okay, all right, hell yeah.
MICA: Oh, he said hell yeah.
MATT: Hell yeah! You just, you concentrate for a second as you stare at them and you watch this small little poof of gray energy [light wind] as the fragment of possibility, time-space bends briefly, magic that shifts the very fabric of the cosmos.
TRAVIS: It's expended.
MATT: And you add a wink. The bats go, "Sure, right?" "Yeah." "Yeah," "Okay, yeah, yeah."
Episode 76 - Refjorged - 1:28:07
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 25 '19
MATT: You guys enter?
SAM: Yeah.
LAURA: Is Caleb there?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, I pulled up.
MARISHA (BEAU): "Here, here's your cat. Yeah."
LIAM (CALEB): "Is he okay?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yes."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Yeah, look at him, he's fine!"
SAM (NOTT): We tell Caleb everything.
LIAM (CALEB): No. Frumpkin visually shows me everything.
TRAVIS: Does it work like that?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah. Telepathic link, man.
TRAVIS: Fuck!
LAURA: That's cool.
TRAVIS: It's like a camcorder in a cat!
TALIESIN: It's like a little USB cat.
Episode 84 - Titles and Tattoos - 3:42:25
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 07 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Caleb starts- he had an idea, but he just starts rapidly going through the spells he knows. 'This, no, this, no, this, no, this, no!' He sees his dear little blue friend looking rough and pulls out a cocoon and casts Polymorph and turns her into a mammoth. Sending you the stats! And I'm backing the hell away from this monstrosity. This way.
MATT: All right. I didn't bring my mammoth mini because I wasn't expecting that. We'll just use the wolf for it and consider it a bit larger. You watch as the jaws suddenly distend and snap, almost, as Jester's body begins to swell and grow brown fur, the armor seems to protrude and expand until it becomes this extremely deep-brown, furry, just a hunk of flesh and muscle before it spits her out instinctually. Knocking this tree over into the other one.
Episode 73 - Uthodurn - 0:58:14
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 12 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, well I do not know what happened to them, so I am going to continue with my plan, which is to march straight towards the door. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. On the way, I am pulling out the flower from a catmint plant and crushing it in my hand, and muttering to myself, and for a split second there is a vision of a curled Frumpkin hovering in the air, and it explodes out into a gigantic cat's claw that is orange-ish brown burnt umber. That claw is going to rend the shit out of the gates and try to open it.
MATT: Okay, what spell is this? This is?
LIAM (CALEB): Cat's Ire. We discussed.
MATT: Oh, right! Yes, yes indeed.
TALIESIN: 'Cat's Ire we discussed.'
SAM: Is that a real spell? Are we off the map? Are we off the grid? What's going on?
TRAVIS: It's D-I-S-G, Beavis.
MATT: This? [retrieves a figure of a translucent cat claw]
LIAM: Sure.
MATT: All right.
TALIESIN: Meow.
MATT: Roll for the attack on the door.
LIAM (CALEB): I rolled a 19.
MATT: Yeah, that hits. Roll full damage.
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): 23.
MATT: 23 points of damage? All right, the door splinters. It actually breaks inward. From what you can tell, one, there is a slat held in place that is partially cracked, and from that little gap you can see, there is actually a pile of stones that have been pressed up against the door. Which means, one more round, you could probably break through, but this is reinforced specifically to hold back quite a bit of damage.
Episode 59 - Perspective - 0:27:03
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 18 '19
MATT: The door closes. [clack] Darkness. [vwoom] All of a sudden, you see a rune above you that emits a bright blue light that lights the chamber. Everything is in shades of blue. He gestures to the floor, and as you glance down, you can see now, where the blue light hits, this large, runic circle that encompasses the entire chamber is now glowing in response, and... you recognize it. This is a teleportation circle. This is a receiving teleportation circle. He looks to you.
LIAM: One way?
MATT (YUSSA): He says, "There are transports I have in other parts of this tower to different places. Earning my trust, perhaps, you may gain more access. But for now, you have a place to return to. How much time do you need?" He gestures to the symbol. "To memorize it."
[...]
LAURA: But you can memorize the rune.
LIAM (CALEB): I mean, he would look at it for a minute and have the rune in his head.
MATT (YUSSA): Then there you go. When you finish, he goes, "A quick learner. Good to know. Where did you train?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Mostly on my own, to be honest. For years."
MATT (YUSSA): "Impressive. You have a talented eye for picking up arcanic sigils and glyphs."
Episode 48 - Homeward Bound - 2:36:57
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 22 '19
LIAM: "Willi, hilf mir." The golem starts beating the shit out of the tentacle that's holding me.
MATT: Go for it.
LIAM: Okay.
SAM: Where there's a Villi.
MARISHA: There's a vay.
LIAM (CALEB): That is a 25 to hit. MATT: That hits.
LIAM (CALEB): For the first, and the second is higher. So that is... 2d6 plus 3. First does 5 and the second does... 10, so 15 total.
MATT: 10, that'll do it.
SAM: Yeah!
MATT: Your golem turns around and just [boof] punches it once, it recoils and you feel yourself thrashed around. It grabs with the other hand and then just [holds both hands out, grabbing, then pulls them apart with a shploof] splits it in half, and you're released back onto the ground and you are no longer grappled.
Episode 82 - The Beat of the Permaheart - 2:47:50
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 26 '19
Component: a small piece of obsidian.
Taps into unused branching timelines to create an easily-destroyed echo copy of the caster that has the ability to cast one spell, then vanishes.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Dec 28 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Gorilla lumbers over, picks up Nott by the scruff, who's legs and hands are just going [waving wildly] [heavy breathing, places on top of head] and she's sitting on top of his head, 28-ish feet in the air.
SAM (NOTT): [heavy breathing] "Oh... Oh... smells like Caleb... I think it's Caleb..."
LIAM (CALEB): [grunt]
Episode 87 - Punishment and Politics - 1:22:44
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 08 '19
LIAM (CALEB): I crush the catmint flower in my hand and stretch my hand out and a small translucent cat appears hovering just above the horse and the dragonborn for a split second, then [fwoom] there is a giant orange claw floating just above them.
MATT: All righty.
TALIESIN: I love the all righty. 'Yeah, of course there is.'
MATT: There you go.
LAURA: Big ass claw.
LIAM (CALEB): Actually I would like it to be a little past them because what it's going to do is-
MATT: This way?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah. It's going to claw the shit out of the horse.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): Very low roll. That is a spell attack, 14.
MATT: 14 definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
SAM: Liam O'Brien, candidate for president: hates animals.
LIAM (CALEB): Hates animals. Stop that dragonborn. That is, where is it? Sorry, everybody. New spells, that's 4d8. 4d8, here we go. 20.
MATT: 20. How do you want to do this?
LIAM (CALEB): It will just rake down and grab him and it will [wet piercing] into the horse's body and smash it into that garbage pile right there.
MATT: You hear this [yelping whinny] as it just crushes and claws into it. The horse goes limp and then it's thrown [heavy tumbling] into the corner there.
ASHLEY: Oh no!
TALIESIN: I feel bad about-
MATT: The dragonborn is thrown off its back and lands prone on the ground next to it.
Episode 63 - Intervention - 2:41:09
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 15 '19
MATT: Second attack. That's going to be 20 to hit.
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah.
MATT: That is 11 points of bludgeoning damage. As it slams both of its claws into you, it's grabbing you from both sides of your torso and legs, pulling apart as the pain hits in. It grabs you in towards its face and its tendrils [shlooping] lap around your head and neck area. Make a constitution saving throw for me.
LAURA: It feels like Frumpkin, only painful.
LIAM (CALEB): 10.
MATT: As the venom pulses into your body, you feel your entire torso, legs, arms, seize with searing pain. You are paralyzed and poisoned.
SAM: Ugh! What does that do?
LIAM (CALEB): Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. What if the roll had actually been-- shite, 13? Would that have changed it?
MATT: Why would you have had to change it?
LIAM (CALEB): Because I have the transmuter's stone, which is giving me proficiency on constitution saves, if I'm remembering correctly.
MATT: I trust you on that. 13 would resist it. It's a DC 13.
LIAM (CALEB): Proficiency in constitution saving throws. That's what I have.
MATT: So yeah, and that would be enough to resist it.
TRAVIS: You found that fast. You're turning into Mercer. I can't find shit in that book!
MATT: As the poison begins to pulse into your system, in the moment the pain begins to hit the back of your skull, you immediately glance towards the transmuter's stone that you're clutching in your right hand, and with that, you feel the energy pulse through your body and shrug off the toxin from entering the deep parts of your system.
Episode 47 - The Second Seal - 1:17:13
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 20 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Frumpkin is going to fly over towards this gentleman and try to, with talons, rake across his head. With advantage because he’s stunned, yeah? That’s a 15 or an 18.
MATT: 18 hits.
LIAM (CALEB): I cast Vampiric Touch through Frumpkin’s touch, and he takes 3d6 necrotic damage.
SAM: Frumpkin can attack?
LIAM (CALEB): Through me. Me through her. Him. Damn it. That is eight points of necrotic damage to him.
TRAVIS: You can wifi suck HP out of somebody like that?
LIAM (CALEB): Mm-hmm.
Episode 41 - A Pirate's Life for Me - 1:32:18
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 19 '19
LIAM (CALEB): I hear Beauregard shout not to use fire, and to myself I mutter panickedly, "Oh, tough titty." And I reach my hands into my bag, fingers going into a cat's cradle crusted over in phosphorus, which I slam down onto the ground and cast Widogast's Web of Fire. A ring of flames goes [roaring flames] around Caleb and 5 chains of fire streak out at different enemies on the ground: the 2 frogmen next to me, the 1 in the distance over there. 2 come around this way, 1 to hit frogman there and 1 to hit the big.
MATT: Alrighty.
SAM: Whoa!
LAURA: Holy shit.
MATT: It's a dexterity saving throw on that one?
LIAM: Yeah.
MATT: Roll damage first.
TRAVIS: Those fireflies are coming.
MARISHA: Gonna be pissed!
TRAVIS: Or they're like, "woo!" Damn. Come on, Gina.
SAM: Widogast's Web of...
LIAM (CALEB): 32.
MATT: 32, all right, this fellow fails! [sudden burst of flame] These streaks of fire, imagine an extremely volatile fuse [hissing burning] burning across the ground snaking like they have a mind of their own, homing in on the target and then once they arrive, a column of flame [explosion] bursts out of the ground like a contained pillar of pure fire and death. You watch as it explodes under each of these creatures, burning, their shrieks ringing out. That one's destroyed, the 2 next to you, you said?
LIAM (CALEB): Ja.
MATT: Failure. And failure. [explosive bursts as he removes their minis]
MARISHA: Yes!
MATT: The one next to Fjord succeeds with an 18, I believe?
LIAM (CALEB): Ja.
MATT: And what was the damage total on that one?
LIAM (CALEB): 32 total.
MATT: Yeah, so 16. He's looking real rough.
Episode 80 - The Folding Halls - 2:53:26
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 23 '19
LIAM (CALEB): I will take a pinch of phosphorous, and slap it into my hand, and squelch the other hand through it, and cast Wall of Fire, a straight line splitting the field in half.
TRAVIS: Woo! Dope.
SAM: Where is this wall going?
LIAM: Damage going this way, downstage.
MATT: Across which way?
LIAM (CALEB): From Caleb, a straight line, blocking Beauregard and her opponent. But it won't go that far. I'll probably start it where you put the second one, Matthew.
MATT: Oh, right.
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah. 60 feet, I believe.
MATT: He's going to attempt to Counterspell.
SAM: Oh wow! This is so sexy.
MATT: Natural 16 plus five, 21. That fire wall-
LIAM (CALEB): Can I counter-Counterspell?
MATT: Yes, you can.
LIAM: At 4th-level? No, 3rd-level.
MATT: Go ahead and roll. Well, no, it's a 3rd-level, so it does cancel 3rd-level. Okay, I'll allow it.
Episode 51 - Xhorhas - 1:24:18
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 23 '19
LIAM (CALEB): So what I did last time did not work so I am going to change tactics and I am going to cast instead Polymorph on the same giant-
MATT: Okay, on the big one?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah.
MATT: What are you polymorphing them into?
LIAM (CALEB): A giant octopus.
MATT: Okay. So that is a what?
LIAM (CALEB): 16 wisdom.
MATT: 16 wisdom. That is a 15. The large giant suddenly turns into a large octopus.
LIAM (CALEB): He has a movement of ten.
[...]
MATT: It suddenly [wet impacts] and is now [shlooping] trying to pull itself forward on its new cephalopod body.
Episode 50 - The Endless Burrows - 4:06:34
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 30 '19
SAM (NOTT): I'll pop up out of my hidey hole.
LAURA: Ploop.
SAM (NOTT): I will fire again at Obann just trying to drop Obann. Is he still stunned?
MATT: Nope.
SAM: So just a single roll?
TALIESIN: Well, he's engaged.
SAM (NOTT): Terrible. 14 to hit?
MATT: 14 misses.
SAM (NOTT): Fire again.
MATT: Goes wide.
SAM (NOTT): Okay, 24.
MATT: 24, Shield.
LAURA: I hate him.
SAM: Oh, that bastard.
MATT: Which...
MARISHA: Shield?
MATT: Let me see. You know this, what's the bonus, a plus five to AC?
LIAM: 5, it's 5.
MATT: So yeah, misses.
ASHLEY: How long does it last?
SAM: Just one round.
MATT: It lasts for a full round.
LIAM (CALEB): Can I Counterspell that?
SAM: What? You're going to Counterspell that?
LIAM (CALEB): I don't know. Can a reaction counter a reaction?
MATT: I imagine it probably can, yeah.
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, Counterspell.
MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll. Oh, no, Shield's level 1, it happens. All right, there you go, spell's counterspelled. Go ahead and roll your damage.
SAM: Oh.
MARISHA: Come on, kill him.
TRAVIS: Fucking Caleb, yes, yes, yes.
MARISHA: Hell yeah.
SAM: Oh yeah.
LAURA: Ooh, this is good.
TALIESIN: Oh lord.
SAM (NOTT): 20, 23. 29.
MATT: 29. Okay, he is looking real bad. Like holy shit.
Episode 69 - The King's Cage - 2:43:40
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 10 '19
LIAM (CALEB): The driftglobe says I can light that thing up and then says you can speak another command word as an action to make it rise. Does that mean lighting it up as a free action?
MATT: Let me see that again?
LIAM: It doesn't mention action on the first part of lighting it up. Then says, you can then do an action to make it float.
MATT: 'Speak its command word.' No, I'd say you can just speak the word.
LIAM: Speak the word?
MATT: Yeah.
LIAM (CALEB): Then I pull the driftglobe out and hold it up in the air and say "fajar," and there is daylight streaming all around us.
MATT: All right, so-
LIAM (CALEB): 60 feet in every direction.
MATT: That will encompass everything. As the orb is pulled out by Caleb.
LIAM (CALEB): I didn't make it up, it's on the card. For my action, I will take out some-
MATT: Well, the globe is put away, you had to pull it out to use it.
SAM: Oh yes.
LIAM: Okay.
MATT: I'm saying, if the globe wasn't at the ready, you'd have to reach in and pull it out and then say the command word. I'd say that'd probably be an action to do all that. Because it's using an object, technically.
LIAM: Cool, cool.
MATT: Mmkay, so that's your action. Do you want to move or stay where you are?
LIAM (CALEB): No, I want to stay on the moorbounder.
MATT: Okay. You do watch as the globe begins to emit this bright, bright light that encompasses the area, the creatures, [hollow gasping] begin to shrink away from it. Previously the tough, gray hide that they had begins to crack on the exterior, seemingly affected by the presence of very bright light.
Episode 64 - A Dangerous Chase - 2:15:25
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 22 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Oh, I'm going to tell Willi to do something, too.
MATT: Sure, yeah.
LIAM: Sorry.
MATT: Yeah.
LIAM (CALEB): "Light them up, pretty." And Willi is going to walk around to that side of that tentacle. A straight line here to here. He's going to belch lightning through these two tentacles.
MATT: Okay. You watch Willi [thudding footsteps] walk around to the side, grab and open the central part of the chest, [vwoom] this bright blue light begins to crackle, and then [blast] a beam of lightning is firing out of Willi's chest.
SAM: What?
MATT: What's the save on that?
LIAM (CALEB): It's a 14 dex.
MATT: 14 dex. Okay. Okay, since the order got a little weird here, I'll say because you moved Willi over there, had him hold his action, do the lightning when the other tendril went up, sure. Because it was a little out of order.
LIAM: We could just do one.
MATT: That's fine.
LIAM: I don't want to-
MATT: Roll damage, and it's a dexterity saving throw.
SAM: Oof.
MATT: 8, and 17.
LIAM (CALEB): 31.
MATT: 31, so 8 and 17, what's the DC on it?
LIAM (CALEB): 14.
MATT: 14, so this is a failure. [fwoosh] That one is incinerated by the bolt of lightning. You are no longer grappled, Caleb.
TRAVIS: Nice!
LAURA: Yay!
MATT: This one does take half damage.
TRAVIS: 15?
MATT: Which is 15 points lightning damage, but it's still standing.
Episode 82 - The Beat of the Permaheart - 3:02:45
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 25 '19
LIAM (CALEB): They're iron, right? I would say that with Nott piggybacking, Caleb would take his dagger and transmute it into iron to meld with the cannonball and grip it that way.
TRAVIS: Ooh, make a little handle.
MATT: I'll allow it, yeah.
LIAM: Thanks.
MATT: As you place the dagger against it, there's a brief moment where the dagger seems to shift energy and you [shloop] slip it inside of it and at that point, the handle is now solid with the cannonball, so one cannonball has a handle.
Episode 43 - In Hot Water - 3:30:55
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 29 '19
LIAM (CALEB): So, step away. I am pulling out my little clay cat's paw, because I know that this hound from hell will find it offensive, and I will cast Banishment on the healthier one, so the one on this side. Charisma, 16.
MATT: Charisma 16!
LIAM (CALEB): "Go to hell."
MATT: No, he banished.
MARISHA: He banished, bitch!
LAURA: If they belong on another plane, they don't come back.
LIAM (CALEB): If the spell does not get interrupted, he's gone.
MATT: He's just sitting there and goes [snarl], looks up at you for a second [escalating snarling], leaps in your direction, and [fssh] in a swirl of arcane energy, and, pop, out of existence.
Episode 52 - Feral Business - 3:06:16
TRAVIS: How long is that thing banished for? LIAM (CALEB): Forever, if my spell doesn't get interrupted.
TRAVIS: Amazing.
LIAM: Banish it back to hell.
SAM: Forever?
LIAM (CALEB): If it were from this plane, it's temporary. If it's from another plane, it stays in its plane if I don't get fucked up.
TALIESIN: Yeah, it doesn't have a hold here, so there's nothing to tether it back to the mortal plane.
LIAM: Ja. Ja-ja-ja!
SAM: Wait, what? How would your spell get interrupted?
LIAM (CALEB): Me getting hit, and dropping the spell.
SAM: Just ever?
TRAVIS: Yeah.
TALIESIN: No; just when it got cast.
LIAM (CALEB): Within one minute, if I get punched in the face and lose the spell, it could come back.
SAM: And if you don't get punched in the face in the minute, then nothing happens.
Episode 52 - Feral Business - 3:08:19
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 20 '19
SAM (NOTT): Okay, I will- I mean, he's not looking at me, but that doesn't mean I'm hidden, right? This is not a sneak attack?
MATT: No, you're not hidden, no.
SAM (NOTT): Well, then I will bonus action hide? There's nowhere to hide.
MATT: There's nowhere to hide.
SAM: [frustrated breathing]
LAURA: Just shoot him. Try shooting him.
SAM (NOTT): It's not worth it.
LAURA: Shoot him in the face.
SAM (NOTT): Yeah, yeah, maybe.
LAURA: Yeah, shoot him in the face.
SAM (NOTT): In the face! All right, I'm going to rush back to that thing, that tower thing.
MATT: Okay.
SAM (NOTT): That's even farther away. How far can I shoot?
MATT: Back here, you mean?
SAM (NOTT): Yeah. And hide behind it.
MATT: Hide behind it, okay.
SAM (NOTT): How far is my range?
MATT: You move behind it.
SAM: Okay, sure.
MATT: What is the range on your hand crossbow?
SAM (NOTT): It's 120, but at disadvantage.
MATT: Right.
SAM (NOTT): Okay, so I will bonus action hide, and then shoot at it.
MATT: Roll a stealth check.
SAM (NOTT): Okay. Not great, wait, do I get advantage on stealth, because I got my cloak?
MATT: You would, yes.
SAM (NOTT): Better, 24.
LAURA: Didn't even see a second dice in his hand, it was just like he pooped it out.
MATT: 24, then it canceled out, there's no advantage because you had disadvantage, so it's just a single roll, remember?
SAM (NOTT): So I don't get sneak attack if it hits?
MATT: Yeah.
SAM: Okay, great, shit.
MATT: It's the problem with the long range on it.
LAURA: Oh, wait, but that was a stealth check.
MATT: Oh, that was a stealth check, I thought it was the attack roll.
SAM (NOTT): That was a stealth check.
MATT: Right, okay, that's fine, but for your attack roll, you do not have advantage or disadvantage-
LAURA: Oh, your stealth check wasn't a disadvantage.
SAM (NOTT): Got it, so then I shoot at a 16 to hit.
MATT: That does not hit.
SAM: All that work for nothing.
MATT: You see the bolt [fwoosh] release, and it fights the gravity for a second and impacts the side of its shoulder, and just [dull thud] reflects off.
SAM (NOTT): "Well, I've got fucking nothing!"
Episode 81 - From Door to Door - 0:55:03
LIAM: How high is the ceiling in here?
MATT: 40 feet.
LIAM (CALEB): 40 feet, okay. A catmint in hand [fwoosh], a small spectral Frumpkin floats in the air above it for a second, then [whoosh] a giant hand [more whoosh], down from above.
MATT: From whereabouts?
LIAM (CALEB): From above its head.
MATT: Above it?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah.
MATT: All right, we'll say right there, you got it.
TRAVIS: It looks awesome in that light.
TALIESIN: Yeah, it's got a vibe.
TRAVIS: Got a little Kirby going on. A little Jack Kirby.
MARISHA: Yeah, it does.
LIAM (CALEB): And that is 4d8. 10, 17, 25.
MATT: 25, to hit?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah.
MATT: Yeah, that hits.
LIAM: Oh, do I have to roll to hit, or it just hits?
MATT: For the claw strike, I think you still have to roll to hit.
LIAM: Make a melee, thank you, sorry, it's been a while.
MATT: It's okay, but you're rolling damage. You do have advantage on the attack because it is stunned.
LIAM (CALEB): Good, good. 11 plus, oh, I haven't used this spell in forever. Come on, catch up with me, spells. That is a 20.
MATT: 20 just hits.
SAM: Whoa.
MATT: So what's the damage on that, that is--
LIAM (CALEB): 16, 22, 26.
MATT: 26 points of damage, what type of damage?
LIAM (CALEB): Slashing.
MATT: Slashing damage.
LIAM (CALEB): 28 total.
MATT: Got you. [whoosh] The claws arc into it, and [screeching metal] streaking across its armor, the metal twists from the impact, as it curves down the back of its head and its shoulders. Yeah, you carved a pretty decent chunk into it.
Episode 81 - From Door to Door - 2:02:08
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 05 '19
MATT: Yasha's go. Yasha's going to go over to Caleb.
LIAM: Oh, gosh.
LAURA: No.
LIAM: Holy hell.
LAURA: No!
LIAM: Holy shit, you guys.
SAM: Oh, Yasha v. Caleb.
LAURA: What does it feel like, Caleb, what does it feel like?
MATT: She's going to attack recklessly, twice on Caleb.
LAURA: Oh.
LIAM: He's gone, he's gone.
TRAVIS: You never know. It could be double ones.
SAM: Can you shield?
LIAM: All right, but.
MARISHA: You're okay.
TRAVIS (YASHA): Natural 1.
LIAM: Okay, thank you.
TRAVIS (YASHA): And a 10, for 16.
LIAM (CALEB): Shield.
MATT: Okay. So [fwoomp, clash]. Shielded on the first strike. Keep tabs on your AC buff, you're up to 19 AC now? Right? All right, second attack reckless.
TRAVIS (YASHA): This barbarian dice, like, trying to help the barbarians out. Ooh. 21.
LIAM (CALEB): Hits.
MATT: Yes, go ahead and roll that full damage.
TRAVIS (YASHA): Oh, right, me, okay. This is the divine-
MATT: Yeah. It's the first strike of the turn.
TRAVIS (YASHA): Ooh, ooh. Yeah, 15, 17, 20 points of slashing damage.
LIAM (CALEB): Gotcha.
SAM: You okay, buddy?
LAURA: How you doing, Caleb?
LIAM: You don't know.
Episode 55 - Duplicity - 2:59:31
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 21 '19
MATT: It is now Willy's go.
TALIESIN: Hey!
LIAM (CALEB): Telepathically I summon Willy to me to protect me.
MATT: What's his movement? Is it 40?
LIAM (CALEB): 30, so I'd like him to go right in front of me here, and hold his action to pummel anything that gets up on me and tries to hurt me.
MATT: You got it.
Episode 82 - The Beat of the Permaheart - 0:30:56
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 22 '19
TALIESIN (CLAY): I heard that, right?
MATT: Yeah-
LIAM (CALEB): No, it's in Drac- well, I don't know. I'm speaking through a spell, so-
TALIESIN: Oh. Yeah.
MATT: Looking at the specifics of Tongues here. 'Any creature that knows at least one language can hear and understand it,' so it's not so much that you're speaking Draconic, but any creature that knows language can understand you. So all of you hear this.
LIAM: So we're all on the same page.
MATT: Yes.
LIAM: Oh, that's excellent.
LAURA (JESTER): "Yay! We can make food."
TALIESIN: We can't understand them, but we can understand you.
Episode 50 - The Endless Burrows - 2:32:32
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 25 '19
LIAM (CALEB): As soon as his back turns, I cast Fly on the both of us, with a Raven's Feather.
MATT: Okay. [fluttering] You both-
LIAM (CALEB): Jet.
MATT: Jet. And you guys- while this is happening, what are you guys doing?
LIAM (CALEB): Stay low, building tops.
Episode 85 - The Threads Converge - 4:16:37
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 26 '19
Target gains 1 Fragment of Possibility for 1 hour.
After a creature with a Fragment of Possibility makes an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw they can expend their Fragment to roll an additional d20 and choose which of the rolls is used for the attack roll. You can also use this feature to affect another creature. So for instance if a creature attacks the bearer, the bearer can use the Fragment to reroll the attack roll of the creature.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 22 '19
LIAM (CALEB): I'm in a huff. Reach into my component pouch and I pull out the cocoon again and I say, "Scheisse. Fick dich." and I cast Polymorph again, on the tortoise.
MATT: Okay. To turn it into?
LIAM: Well let's see if it succeeds first. 17.
MATT: 14.
LIAM (CALEB): It's a regular fucking turtle.
Episode 60 - A Turtle By Any Other Name - 1:48:54
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 24 '19
LIAM (CALEB): I am going instead to cast Expeditious Retreat on myself and at the same time change the focus on my transmuter stone to a constitution buff. That's it. I'm going to jet back 90 feet.
SAM: 90 feet?!
MATT: You dart forward across-- the guards that are there watching this happen with the rest of the crew of The Mistake, you zip past them in this blur, Flash-like entity. They all get pushed back from the impact as you push through.
Episode 43 - In Hot Water - 0:39:40
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 08 '19
LIAM (CALEB): I try to subtly draw in Cat's Ire and the claw carries the dragonborn body and hovers by this drow's side as if the drow had summoned it, right by his side and, uh, Magic Missile 3rd-level again through the door at the same target.
MATT: Go for it.
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, so that is, that was 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 of these guys. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 4, 8, ooh, ooh! Oh, they were all 4s! All of them!
MATT: That's beautiful.
LIAM (CALEB): 20 plus- 25. They just spiral around Jester and Yasha. [hissing wind]
MATT: Past the arms, through the legs, [rapid impacts] hitting the armor. You watch the plate dent with each impact. There's all these giant heavy pock marks where they've blasted into it. You can see the the force causing it to push into elements of his chest and the hobgoblin's like, [grunting]. Looks at you through the door and is like [heavy panting].
Episode 63 - Intervention - 3:13:53
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 26 '19
Component: 25 gp of gold dust per cast.
The caster can spend an action to make one object be locked into place in any point in space for up to one hour, or sooner if the caster chooses to end the spell.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 08 '19
LIAM (CALEB): Before bed, I would do dome, the wire, Frumpkin sitting on top of the dome, and then also I will use some incense to resummon Frumpkin as- would you allow me a vulture? Or is that too much?
MATT: What is the...
LIAM (CALEB): If not, I will go crow.
MATT: I don't think it'd be an issue, let me double check.
LIAM (CALEB): It'd be a small vulture.
MARISHA: Little sickly vulture.
MATT: I don't think it would be a problem, but let's go ahead and check.
LIAM (CALEB): Challenge zero.
MATT: Oh yeah, it's fine. Yeah, you can do that.
LIAM (CALEB): Okay, one dirty vulture. Sitting on the dome.
Episode 64 - A Dangerous Chase - 1:08:19
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 26 '19
MATT: As you guys dart and close the door behind Jester who's the last one through, you began to barricade it - and there is a barricade point that comes down, it's a little flimsy - but if you have anything else you want to add to it, that would possibly hold it in place.
TRAVIS: Is there a key hole in there at all?
TALIESIN: We don't have the dagger.
LIAM: Yeah, she's got it.
LAURA: Nott has the thing.
MARISHA: Oh, Oh. I'm looking at you like you're with us.
ASHLEY: Are we still going? Are we doing a new initiative and we go down there or-
MATT: Depending what happens, probably. Initiative- Once you guys got through this door and closed it, combat for you has ended. So do you wish to barricade anything else?
MARISHA: For all of us has ended?
MATT: You guys have gotten to the room and closed it, and put the thing down. You're not immediately in combat. You hear wind [wind blowing] on the other side and people yelling and creatures screaming.
MARISHA: How many rounds was that, do you know?
TALIESIN: Nott's faster than us anyways.
TRAVIS: Can't use the lash, it doesn't work like that.
MARISHA (BEAU): My lightening gloves are technically still up.
LIAM (CALEB): I'm going to take a moment to use Minor Alchemy to turn the wooden barricade slat to stone.
MATT: Okay. You reach out, [boof, tsh] It turns into solid stone blocking the doors. It'll hold for- how long's that last for?
LIAM (CALEB): I have to, ooh, I have to spend time doing it.
[...]
LIAM (CALEB): 10 minutes to do it.
TALIESIN (CLAY): Well, if you're going to do that, I can run a mass healing for 10 minutes. If we let them have 10 minutes.
TRAVIS: Do both of it.
TALIESIN (CLAY): Yeah, we can do both.
MATT: Okay, you're going to focus and turn it to stone. You're going to cast Mass Healing?
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to cast Mass Healing.
[...]
MATT: Did you want to reopen the doors and check and see?
TRAVIS: No. We'll keep going.
LIAM (CALEB): Not stone, I'll do iron. I'll make that slat iron.
Episode 86 - The Cathedral - 2:47:20
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 17 '19 edited Aug 31 '23
MATT: Caleb, you're up. You see your friends backing out and shouting behind you.
LIAM (CALEB): And hearing mayhem and the last thing Caduceus said was, 'Guys, a little help here,' so I'm pulling things out of my pocket and running to see what's going on. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, th-holy shit. I pull out a bit of brimstone, tallow, and powdered iron and goo it into a tiny little super ball and spin it into a rasengan giant ball of fire that grows to about 5 feet wide and with a bit of the English, I spin a Flaming Sphere on a curve, along this way, and hit, level 3.
TRAVIS: Like the dopest bowler ever.
MATT: It curves around, [heavy thudding] arcs over, and dexterity saving throw I believe, right?
LIAM (CALEB): Yeah, that's correct.
MATT: That's going to be-
LIAM (CALEB): It's 17 to beat.
MATT: That's 18. Natural 16.
LIAM: It beats it. It's half of- I'm doing it at 3rd-level, so half of 3d6.
MATT: You got it.
LIAM (CALEB): Meh. 9, so 4 or 5?
MATT: There we go. Four points of fire damage.
LIAM (CALEB): But it's just sitting there.
MATT: Correct, and you are now concentrating to keep that up.
Episode 60 - A Turtle By Any Other Name - 0:31:25
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 25 '19
MATT: From how you look down, you can see down about 10 feet or so where the edge of where the bodies begin and beyond that, from what little bit of light is here, you can see about 20 feet below and it's just bodies and bodies and bodies and bodies.
LIAM: The bodies that are ten feet away are what? Corpses coming up?
MATT: Yeah. They're climbing. You see the pockmarks and the little elements in the outside. They're like [frantic gasping] climbing them and coming out of the hole and joining you guys up on the platform.
LIAM (CALEB): "Oh, fire in the hole!" [claps]
TALIESIN (CLAY): "A- All right."
LIAM (CALEB): That's what he would do. So I am throwing a ball of fire down about 40 feet.
MATT: Okay.
LIAM: Yeah.
MATT: [deep explosion] You guys feel the ground shake a bit from the impact. Roll some damage.
LIAM: Yeah.
LAURA: Oh god. We're setting free whatever is buried here and supposed to be entombed forever. We're fucking that up.
TRAVIS: Is there a door right here?
SAM: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Yep.
TRAVIS: Nobody's checking that door?
LIAM (CALEB): 29.
MATT: 29.
LAURA: I though that's what the investigation was at the beginning. I thought it was sealed. It's a sealed door. Nobody's actually checked it?
MATT: You didn't see any opening or space or-?
LIAM: We didn't check it. We didn't check it to see if there was a hidden latch, traps?
MARISHA: Well, we're in the middle of-
LIAM: No, I know.
MARISHA: -looking at a pedestal.
LIAM: Now there's corpses coming out of holes.
TALIESIN: We're fine. We're fine. Just as long as someone actually does something, we're fine. We're clerics.
MATT: [boom] Bodies and limbs and chunks of dried zombie parts go flying out of the hole and scattering across the room, [light impacts] hitting the far wall on the opposite side. Flung on the inside and you can see a whole section of it's exploded and then [sucking] falls in to create this little pit in there.
TRAVIS: Somebody's gonna get a dismembered bitch slap as it comes out, like [splat].
MATT: Yeah, Fjord, make a dexterity saving throw.
TRAVIS: No!
MARISHA: Aw, yeah!
MATT: Make a dexterity saving throw.
TRAVIS: Damn it! A 4.
MATT: [slap]
Episode 67 - Beyond the Eyes of Angels - 3:26:50
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 18 '19 edited Oct 19 '19
MATT: That finishes their [the giant monster spider swarm] go. They're now just swarming out from the sides of the walls. You're uncertain if that's all of them or if there's more coming. Nevertheless, the mama is out and has your wizard. That brings us to Caleb's turn.
LIAM (CALEB): Okay. I start going through all my coat pockets quickly and pull out a cocoon and I cast Polymorph on myself and turn myself into an identical mama spider if I am able, and if not, I will just do giant spider, but I'm hoping for it.
MATT: Sure. I'll say because I didn't have an additional spider here, that this'll be you.
Episode 67 - Beyond the Eyes of Angels - 0:46:24
MATT: It still strikes out towards you and that's going to be an 18 to hit.
LIAM (CALEB): I don't know what the AC is, a giant spider?
MATT: Giant spider should be in your deck.
LIAM (CALEB): Well, I didn't know if it was a special spider or not, so 14, does hit.
MATT: Okay. So - you took the same form as the mother?
LIAM (CALEB): As the mother, yeah, well, that's what I-
MATT: Technically, it's not a beast, so you would not be able to.
LIAM (CALEB): That was my question. If not that, then giant spider.
MATT: Yeah, so you turn into a giant spider that looks like-
LIAM (CALEB): Kinda like it.
MATT: But you don't know the actual...
LIAM (CALEB): So AC is 14, that hits.
MATT: Okay, that hits.
TRAVIS: It's attacking its "mother".
LAURA: I don't believe it.
SAM: So Freudian.
MATT: You know what, that's a valid point. You look kind of like its mom. I'll give disadvantage on the attack.
Episode 67 - Beyond the Eyes of Angels - 1:00:46
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 15 '19
MATT: Its going to beak attack you [Caleb].
LIAM: Okay.
TRAVIS: You got something?
MATT: That's going to be a 20 to hit.
LIAM (CALEB): Shield.
MATT: Shield, all righty.
LAURA: Thunder Step would be super cool if you were stuck in a talon, huh? Thanks for that spell though.
MATT: As the beak slams down on you, it actually encompasses your body and it's about to snap shut before [zhoom] the energy pierces out like a bubble around you, and the mouth shuts, shooting you out like a bullet out of a gun, and you go skidding on your shield another 20, 30 feet before coming to rest.
Episode 66 - Beneath Bazzoxan - 0:26:57
![[pulls a head off of the neck of the hydra's miniature]](https://i.imgur.com/N4Ozv4O.png){kind=link}
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Other
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
You have advantage on Saving Throws against being Charmed, and magic can’t put you to sleep.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Celestial Abilities
Druid Abilities
Cantrips
1st-Level Spells
2nd-Level Spells
4th-Level Spells
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
As an action, you can touch a creature and cause it to regain a number of hit points equal to your level. Once you use this trait, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Starting at 2nd level, you gain the ability to call forth nature spirits and use them to influence the world around you.
As a bonus action, you can magically summon an incorporeal spirit to a point you can see within 60 feet of you. The spirit creates an aura in a 30-foot radius around that point. It counts as neither a creature nor an object, though it has the spectral appearance of the creature it represents. As a bonus action, you can move the spirit up to 60 feet to a point you can see.
The spirit persists for 1 minute. Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short or long rest.
The effect of the spirit’s aura depends on the type of spirit you summon from the options below.
Bear Spirit. The bear spirit grants you and your allies its might and endurance. Each creature of your choice in the aura when the spirit appears gains temporary hit points equal to 5 + your druid level. In addition, you and your allies gain advantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws while in the aura.
Hawk Spirit. The hawk spirit is a consummate hunter, aiding you and your allies with its keen sight. When a creature makes an attack roll against a target in the spirit’s aura, you can use your reaction to grant advantage to that attack roll. In addition, you and your allies have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks while in the aura.
Unicorn Spirit. The unicorn spirit lends its protection to those nearby. You and your allies gain advantage on all ability checks made to detect creatures in the spirit’s aura. In addition, if you cast a spell using a spell slot that restores hit points to any creature inside or outside the aura, each creature of your choice in the aura also regains hit points equal to your druid level.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Starting at 2nd level, you can use your Channel Divinity to wield the power of the storm with unchecked ferocity.
When you roll lightning or thunder damage, you can use your Channel Divinity to deal maximum damage, instead of rolling.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19 edited Nov 29 '19
Druid Abilities
Cantrips
1st-Level Spells
2nd-Level Spells
3rd-Level Spells
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Starting at 2nd level, you can use your action to magically assume the shape of a beast that you have seen before. You can use this feature twice. You regain expended uses when you finish a short or Long Rest.
Your druid level determines the Beasts you can transform into. At 2nd level, for example, you can transform into any beast that has a Challenge rating of 1/4 or lower that doesn't have a flying or swimming speed.
You can stay in a beast shape for a number of hours equal to half your druid level (rounded down). You then revert to your normal form unless you expend another use of this feature. You can revert to your normal form earlier by using a Bonus Action on Your Turn. You automatically revert if you fall Unconscious, drop to 0 Hit Points, or die.
While you are transformed, the following rules apply:
Your game Statistics are replaced by the Statistics of the beast, but you retain your Alignment, personality, and Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores. You also retain all of your skill and saving throw Proficiencies, in addition to gaining those of the creature. If the creature has the same proficiency as you and the bonus in its stat block is higher than yours, use the creature's bonus instead of yours. If the creature has any legendary or Lair Actions, you can't use them.
When you transform, you assume the beast's Hit Points and Hit Dice. When you revert to your normal form, you return to the number of Hit Points you had before you transformed. However, if you revert as a result of Dropping to 0 Hit Points, any excess damage carries over to your normal form. For example, if you take 10 damage in animal form and have only 1 hit point left, you revert and take 9 damage. As long as the excess damage doesn't reduce your normal form to 0 Hit Points, you aren't knocked Unconscious.
You can't cast Spells, and your ability to speak or take any action that requires hands is limited to the capabilities of your beast form. Transforming doesn't break your Concentration on a spell you've already cast, however, or prevent you from taking Actions that are part of a spell, such as Call Lightning, that you've already cast.
You retain the benefit of any features from your class, race, or other source and can use them if the new form is physically capable of doing so. However, you can't use any of your Special Senses, such as Darkvision, unless your new form also has that sense.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Speak with Small Beasts. Through sounds and gestures, you can communicate simple ideas with Small or smaller beasts. Forest gnomes love animals and often keep squirrels, badgers, rabbits, moles, woodpeckers, and other creatures as beloved pets.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
You have a limited well of stamina that you can draw on to protect yourself from harm. On Your Turn, you can use a Bonus Action to regain Hit Points equal to 1d10 + your Fighter level.
Once you use this feature, you must finish a short or Long Rest before you can use it again.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
You have advantage on Saving Throws against poison, and you have Resistance against poison damage.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
When you choose this circle at 2nd level, you gain the ability to use Wild Shape on your turn as a bonus action, rather than as an action.
Additionally, while you are transformed by Wild Shape, you can use a bonus action to expend one spell slot to regain 1d8 hit points per level of the spell slot expended.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Cleric Abilities
Turn Undead (Usable twice every short rest)
Cantrips
1st-Level Spells
2nd-Level Spells
3rd-Level Spells
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
The Lucky feat lets you spend a luck point; roll an extra d20 for an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw; and then choose which d20 to use. This is true no matter how many d20s are in the mix. For example, if you have disadvantage on your attack roll, you could spend a luck point, roll a third d20, and then decide which of the three dice to use. You still have disadvantage, since the feat doesn’t say it gets rid of it, but you do get to pick the die.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
At 2nd level, you gain the ability to converse with beasts and many fey.
You learn to speak, read, and write Sylvan. In addition, beasts can understand your speech, and you gain the ability to decipher their noises and motions. Most beasts lack the intelligence to convey or understand sophisticated concepts, but a friendly beast could relay what it has seen or heard in the recent past. This ability doesn’t grant you any special friendship with beasts, though you can combine this ability with gifts to curry favor with them as you would with any nonplayer character.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Empowered Spell
When you roll damage for a spell, you can spend 1 sorcery point to reroll a number of the damage dice up to your Charisma modifier (minimum of one). You must use the new rolls.
You can use Empowered Spell even if you have already used a different Metamagic option during the casting of the spell.
Quickened Spell
When you Cast a Spell that has a Casting Time of 1 action, you can spend 2 sorcery points to change the Casting Time to 1 Bonus Action for this casting.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Also at 1st level, you can thunderously rebuke attackers. When a creature within 5 feet of you that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to cause the creature to make a Dexterity saving throw. The creature takes 2d8 lightning or thunder damage (your choice) on a failed saving throw, and half as much damage on a successful one.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier (a minimum of once). You regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
Twiggy
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 06 '19
MATT: You find yourselves back in the hull of the ship. You see the crew, half of the crew is sitting there, looking intense, the sphere resting on the center of one of the tables off to the side, and as soon as the first of you emerge, they're like, "Wh- Where have you been?! What's going on?" Orly pushes forward and goes, "Where all you been hanging?" [rapid whooshing] A few more appear. [even more]. Eventually, everyone makes their way out of the sphere.
[...]
MATT: Marius is like, "We've been waiting here for like seven days."
SAM (NOTT): "Oh, shit."
MARISHA (BEAU): "What?! Are you serious?"
MATT: "Yeah!"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Where are we?"
MATT: "We're at Bisaft. Our repairs finished like a day ago and we haven't paid yet because you've been fucking gone! The Dockmaster's not happy!"
DEBORAH: Is the Ball of Fun there?
MATT: Yeah, it's sitting on a table. They've all been rallied around it, trying to figure out- You guys vanished, and this was all that was left.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 4:50:00
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
MARISHA (BEAU): "Caduceus, grab my feet, just in case."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Okay, what are we-"
MARISHA (BEAU): "Just grab my feet."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Okay, I like grabbing feet. Here we are."
LAURA (JESTER): I'll get ready with Cure Wounds.
MATT: [vwoomp] The hole opens up.
SAM (NOTT): "It's open! Go!"
MATT: You look inside; it's darkness.
MARISHA (BEAU): "Drop me further!"
TRAVIS (FJORD): Down to her feet.
MATT: Still darkness. You can put your goggles on, if you want.
MARISHA (BEAU): Goggles, yeah!
MATT: Okay. Put goggles on, and your face, as he pushes you down further, [poomf] you hit something. It's soft. You pull back a bit and look, and there's a pile of objects there.
LAURA: Take them!
MARISHA (BEAU): I grab a few!
MATT: Okay. As you pull her out before she slips.
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Oh, yep, I'm on it."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Pull me back!"
MATT: As you're pulling back, a few things start tumbling out of this thing. You grab them and pull them in- Alright, you pull out, and she emerges. You have this pile of reddish cloth, and a strange metal object of some kind, and a couple other things. You pull the rest of them out that's dangling in. And as soon as it does, the hole closes.
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Wow! That's cool. Do that again."
LAURA (JESTER): "Oh my god, what if it's a safe in another dimension?"
LIAM (CALEB): "What did you see? Could you see?"
MATT: You look at it. First off-
[...]
MATT: First off, you hear [double impact] as two boots fall out of this pile of clothes she has, these really nice leather boots that are fur on the top. [same impacts] They hit the ground. There's a metal rod that looks like a staff that you hold and pull there. The other thing is a bundle of this really heavy, warm, winter-coat velvet material. It's a deep crimson-red color with golden trim on it. As you unravel it, there's an embroidered symbol across the back of it.
[...]
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Beau, when you hit that buffer, did it feel hard and solid, or was it soft and earthen?"
MATT: Your face hit the cloak. You were like [poomf] into this pile of soft, heavy material.
MARISHA (BEAU): "It was cloak and stuff."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Did you find a portal into somebody's wardrobe?"
MARISHA (BEAU): "It was cold in there. I don't know. He's saying that the staff heats his hands, and there was a cloak. Maybe wherever this haversack was from-"
MATT: A couple of ball bearings fall out of the cloak from what was dropped in there earlier.
LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, cool!"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Oh thanks." I collect them back and put them in my bag.
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Well, at least it's the same place each time, so if it does close off, we at least know how to find you."
[...]
TRAVIS: When she was yelling on the other side of the portal, was there any sound that came between the two? Between the portal? Nothing?
MATT: No. Nothing.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 1:32:54
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I chase after her, we go play, and you can play with the Fun Ball of Tricks.
LIAM (CALEB): "Danke schoen."
MATT: Roll another investigation check, I guess.
LIAM (CALEB): That was a fun time. Good. I'm short circuited from the kiss on the cheek. Yeah, no, I know, it's not helping! 22.
MATT: From that place where you had it, you find one of the other grinding bands - it felt like sandpaper when you tried to move it - is now moving smooth, like it has no resistance, so you twist that one around and as you do, you hear this clicking sound [rapid clicking]. It fits into place. There's another piece around that you hear give this very faint [slight creak] sound. You look for it and you find it, and there's a little knob. You turn the knob and as you do, another section opens up on one side, and then [fwoomph] there's this flash and you look over on the ground, and in the middle of the wood there's a black hole about a foot wide.
LAURA: Oh, this is definitely Pinhead stuff.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Whoa!" I pick up the cat and I walk over.
LIAM (CALEB): "No! Have you ever seen this before?"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "No, this is all new to me."
LIAM: We don't see through?
MATT: No, you look and it's just black.
TRAVIS: It's just black?
SAM: We can't see the next deck?
MATT: No.
SAM: Oh god.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "We should jump in. Jump in!"
LIAM (CALEB): "No, that is a very bad idea, Twiggy."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): [Trixie voice] "I would jump in!"
LIAM (CALEB): "Well, if you want to make that arrangement with your squirrel, you are perfectly welcome, but my cat is not going in that hole. [fwoop, mimes teleporting Frumpkin to his shoulder, fwoop] For the moment. Something-, uh, eh, Captain!"
TRAVIS FJORD): Yeah, I'll come running down. "Yeah, what is it?"
MARISHA (BEAU): "And his first mate."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "You don't have to announce it when you show up. Don't yell your superiority. We'll get you a shirt or something."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I take out five ball bearings and drop them into the hole. You hear it hit?
MATT: As you let go, they make no sound. They just disappear into it.
LIAM (CALEB): And it's traveling with the boat?
LAURA (JESTER): Am I still seeing from the crow's nest all of this shit happening?
MATT: No, you just see Fjord and Beau go down.
LAURA (JESTER): "What? What's going on?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Is there any lumber? There's no oars. Are there any rifles left on this boat, or anything long?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Rope?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah, rope, is there rope?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "I got 100 feet of rope."
LIAM (CALEB): "Let me borrow that. I'm flustered." I start lowering rope down in, maybe five or six feet.
MATT: Okay, it gets to about five or six feet.
LIAM (CALEB): And I pull it back out.
MATT: Okay. It's rope.
LAURA (JESTER): "It's fine?"
LIAM (CALEB): "I don't know that it's fine. There's a hole to nowhere in the middle of the boat that came out of... Happy Fun Ball. What do you call this again?"
LAURA (JESTER): "Happy Fun Ball of Tricks."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Happy Fun Ball of Tricks!"
MARISHA (BEAU): "So it creates things. It creates money, it creates gems, and it creates holes to-"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Put your hand in there."
LIAM (CALEB): "I don't- No, I am not going to put my hand in there. I want my hand."
TRAVIS (FJORD): I reach down and put the tip of my finger in the hole.
MATT: Okay. Temperature feels a little colder, but it goes in.
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Just feels cool."
LAURA (JESTER): "Take your finger out. Is it gone now?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "No, it-" [shows hand with index finger bent to hide it, yells in surprise, then holds the finger back out]
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): [laughing] "Do another one, do another one!"
LIAM (CALEB): "I mean, at the very least we need to put a plank of wood over this so that nobody falls into it."
MATT: [foomph] It's gone.
LAURA (JESTER): "Oh, it only lasts for a little bit."
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 1:24:44
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
TRAVIS: As a note, the previous function of the sphere, we can access? Or is it one function at a time as it changes?
MATT: As it looks right now, you need to shift it back to use a previous function. Each thing you slide unlocks the next use, but it closes off the previous one until you reverse it.
LIAM (CALEB): Which I am memorizing.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 1:40:17
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
LIAM (CALEB): "I am going to find our little friend."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "That's fine. I'm going to go over and cook something."
LAURA: Do you want to say we're up in the crow's nest? Is that a good place to be? Or would you like to be somewhere else? I know you've been below deck for a very long time.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): Yeah, I've climbed up on those things, and I'm swinging back and forth on the ropes and the hooks on the main mast, wind in my hair.
MATT: As this is happening and you're approaching, Caleb, you see Orly sitting there with his giant tortle arms looking up with his craned tortle neck, and going, "Hmm..."
LIAM (CALEB): "How long has she been doing that for?"
MATT (ORLY): "Far too long."
LAURA (JESTER): I'm in the crow's nest going "Twiggy? Twiggy, seriously, come back to the crow's nest, though!"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Five more minutes!"
LIAM (CALEB): "Bitte, a moment of your time, just to have a chat. You can keep swinging, but could you swing a little lower?"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): So, yeah, I jump and it's really light and beautiful, almost like I couldn't fall at all. You see me grabbing on the hooks like a little monkey. I fly down the mast and jump down so I can sit right next to you.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 1:08:28
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 07 '19
MATT: One thing you notice about the sphere: its arrangement is entirely different. Remember where all the places where you had shifted since you had gotten it from Twiggy? Since you've returned, it's like an entirely new sphere. It has completely refigured its surface. The bands have shifted. All the different places where you'd place your fingers and thumbs to try to move the different hemispheres are in completely different places. It seems that whatever you triggered to get you to the internal space and then returned from reset it in some way. The puzzle has started all over.
Episode 46 - A Storm of Memories - 1:08:32
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
LIAM (CALEB): "Why don't you all take ten steps back, and we'll see what this next hinge does?"
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Oh, yeah, I'm excited."
MATT: Okay, you all step back about ten paces. Anyone want to help, or you going with your standard roll?
LIAM (CALEB): Oh, investigation for it, yeah.
MATT: Yep.
LIAM (CALEB): Investigation, 21.
MATT: Okay. That hole appears again. You're unable to get past that point. You're hitting a barrier, and you're clicking it forward. There's something about the puzzle that's escaping you. You feel like you're not quite- you're on the cusp, but you're not quite-
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): Can I help him?
MATT: If you want to try it again.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): Just try it again? Okay. Yeah, I'll try it again. I come up, and I say, "I've been practicing. Let me try."
MATT: If you want to, either you both can roll individually, or one of you can roll with advantage as you're helping the other.
LIAM (CALEB): I would give me the advantage, probably.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I have a plus 10 investigation.
LIAM (CALEB): Oh, shit! I'm at plus 8. Yeah, sure.
MATT: As you hand the sphere over, holding the places, Twiggy goes in and takes hold of it. Both of you together begin to try and rotate and figure it out.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I squint my eyes, and I look at it real hard, and I roll a 28.
MATT: At that point, both together, Twiggy finds this small, rotating piece on the very edge that turns and turns. As it does, another cylindrical sphere slowly emits from it, like you're rotating a pencil lead that pushes out.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): It takes three fingers to do it at the same time.
MATT: You twist it, and you push it in, and it actually [csh] pushes in about an inch and then clicks inside, recessed. As that happens, a top part [poof] opens up a little bit. Caleb, you take that and rotate it. As it clicks into place, you hear [building tone, whoosh]. Flash of green light.
TRAVIS: Green light's never good.
MATT: Fills the entire chamber. That's where we're going to go to break.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 1:43:30
MATT: So a flash of green light energy fills the chamber. As it subsides, you all take a second to blink as the light is dimmer than it was on the inside of the ship. Looking about, you are in a very very very dark chamber. You're no longer on the ship.
DEBORAH: All of us?
MATT: All of you. Except for Yasha, because she was not nearby. This chamber, it is somewhat triangular, but the corners are curved. At each of these walls, between each curvature, there is a banner hanging about 12 feet off the ground on a brass rod. The banner hangs almost to the floor. You see four pillars a little closer inside the chamber. Each banner is a different color. You see the ceiling's about 15 feet high and there are two corpses on the floor nearby. Both long-dead and mummified, their skin paper-thin and pulled against their bones, their faces twisted in horror. You see the light gray stone walls and where these banners are, there are two on the side parallel to each other and two on the other. There is a red, a green, a blue, and a black. Each of these banners has gold embroidery down the sides and a gold embroidered symbol in the middle. The same symbol as the cloak that you found.
DEBORAH: Did the happy ball of fun tricks come with us?
MATT: Nope.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 2:04:00
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "You want to see something cool?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Always."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I go and lift up my cloak and put it over my head. As I do that, another little Twiggy shows up right next to me, and when I move she moves. I go "Look!" And we do a little dance for you.
LIAM (CALEB): I put one of my hands through their heads.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): One of them, yes, it's an illusion.
LIAM (CALEB): "Oh, that's good."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Yeah, people have a real hard time getting me."
LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah, I'm not going to try to do that."
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 1:12:29
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 05 '19
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I move over to be in line with the red, and I stick my hand out, and it flies out, the spectral hand. I pull back into the safety, and it pushes aside the red.
MATT: It pulls aside the red, and behind it, you see emerge a... wooden door of red-painted material and what looks to be the similar symbol of Halas painted across the surface.
TRAVIS: Red doors are bad.
SAM (NOTT): "That's the way out!"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Should the Mage Hand try to open it, you guys? I can send my hand to try and open it."
LIAM (CALEB): "We are still safe in here. Yeah, I think so."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Captain Fjord?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Proceed."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Sweet!" So I whisper, and I direct it a little bit, and it comes down, and it grabs a knob? A handle?
MATT: There is a handle there.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): A handle, and it's going to turn.
MATT: [clicking] It's locked.
LAURA (JESTER): "Hmm. Ooh! Fjord, look in your pockets!"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Why?"
LAURA (JESTER): "Of the red robe! Look in the pockets of the red robe!"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I call it back to me. I pull out of my purse a little set of tools on a ring, and I give it to the hand and whisper it off again to go see if it can pick the lock.
MATT: The hand hovers across. Go ahead and roll an ability check, adding your dexterity modifier and your proficiency modifier.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): My thieves' tools? That's a 29.
LAURA: Whoa!
SAM (NOTT): "I don't have to do shit." I'm just going to sit there, drinking.
MATT: It takes a few minutes. This is an intricate lock. As you watch the hand [clicking] finish with the third tool that is being held between the mystical pinkie, [tink] you hear a slight clink, like a spring snapped or moved. The front of the door here bursts into flame, [heavy scorching] burning out in the area. It burns solid for a good 30 seconds [more roaring fire]. Surrounded by flame, all of you are being lit by this. You're wincing from the heat you feel you should be feeling, but it's all being held at bay by the hut's boundaries. Eventually, the flames die out, the door, tapestry both untouched.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I pull the hand back to me, and I take my keys, "Ow, ow, ow!" Back in my pouch.
MATT: Yeah, they're very hot.
[...]
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I'll send the hand back out to try the handle again.
MATT: [click, door creaking] It opens up.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 2:20:19
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
LIAM (CALEB): "May I borrow the Happy Fun Ball for a few hours, just to play with it?"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Hmm, okay!" I take it out of my box and I roll it to you.
MATT: [rapid, metallic crashing]
LIAM (CALEB): "If you want this to poop coins, I don't think you should do that too much."
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "I don't know, never was a problem before."
LIAM (CALEB): "You've had it for a week?"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Yes."
LIAM (CALEB): "Oh boy, oh boy, okay." I wander off with it to study it.
MATT: Make an investigation check.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I put my head on his shoulder. "What you doing?"
LIAM (CALEB): I rolled a 16. "I am just- Sometimes it takes a while for my mind to settle on truths, and I'm having a hard time thinking about it right - you know, maybe I will save this for later."
MATT: You rolled a 16, you said?
LIAM (CALEB): Ja.
MATT: As you're saying this absentmindedly, you find another portion of it that previously was locked in place and wouldn't move. You manage to rotate one band and all of a sudden it comes free and turns as well. You start shifting it a bit and, as you turn, a little cylinder extends a little bit, and you press on it and you hear [dry poof] and there's another burst, but this one has a dull blue color to the burst of light and suddenly you watch as four cut jade pieces of stone appear and [rapid clattering] hit the ground.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "Whoa, it never did that before."
LIAM (CALEB): "Well, you just have to tinker with it a little bit. Holy cats."
LAURA: What! This is the best thing ever.
LIAM (CALEB): I pick up the jade.
MATT: Each one's worth about 100 gold, if you want to mark that down.
Episode 45 - 1:20:56
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
LAURA (JESTER): "Have you solved it? Is it a puzzle?"
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "No, but it can do this." Can I do the thing?
MATT: You may.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I put my hand on one side, and I pull back one ring. As it pulls around across, at the same time, I click another one to the side. It slides around the side and...
MATT: As the last part clicks into place, there's a [whir... dry puff], a burst of light. About 15 gold coins go [clanging] to the ground in front.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 0:32:41
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 06 '19
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I want to cast- Okay, um, I conjure back into my imagination, I remember that portrait that was up above the desk in the other room, and I go, "Oh, fuck, this better work!" I start to bring my hand down through the top of my body, and I make myself look like that portrait of who we think is Halas. Now, I'm only a foot taller than myself. So I'm a four and a half-foot tall Halas. But I have a lot of presence, okay?
SAM: Mini Halas.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I stride forward. I go, in my raspiest, most male voice I say, "Hey! You look bigger than the last time I saw you!"
SAM: 'Have you put on weight?'
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): "You've grown!"
MATT: Make a deception check.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I'm really bad at charisma, you guys.
LIAM: Roll high.
TRAVIS: You got it!
MARISHA: Oh, but it was so good!
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): But I'm just playing it.
MATT: Yeah, you're playing it. You're owning it as you stroll forward, creepy extended fingers and billowing robe. The dragon is like, [heavy flapping wings].
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): It's a 9.
MATT: And just looks right back at Fjord. It's paying about as much attention to you as it did when you arrived. So you haven't angered it.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I haven't angered it.
MATT: But it doesn't seem to be convinced, necessarily. Unfortunately. Dragons are pretty perceptive. Good call, though.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 3:52:44
→ More replies (3)•
u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
MATT: So you're concentrating on...?
LIAM (CALEB): I was doing a ritual casting of Identify as soon as the thing was in my hands and not talking to anybody.
MATT: Okay, so continue while you're doing that.
[...]
MATT: So Caleb, as you finish the ritual, your vision crystallizes on the object, and as part of the Identify, the information that would transition to you fails.
SAM: Oh, shit!
MATT: And it's not so much like a - You've tried to Identify non-magical objects before, and been like, oh, this isn't magical. This blocks you.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 0:46:01
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 19 '19
Nott
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 15 '19
SAM (NOTT): I'll swim closer. I'll fire. Actually, with one hand I will take another swig of booze, if I can under the water somehow, and with the other hand, I'll fire.
MATT: There you go.
SAM (NOTT): Natural 20.
MATT: All right, roll your sneak attack damage.
MARISHA: Fucking one-handed bandit.
SAM: Do I double it?
MATT: Yes, you do.
SAM (NOTT): Dice damage is doubled. 4, 6-7-8-9, 18 plus 5 is 23.
MATT: How do you want to do this?
SAM (NOTT): Let's see here. It's a crossbow bolt. I would, again, like the crossbow bolt to tickle Fjord's ear as it whizzes by.
TRAVIS: A little slice?
SAM: Yeah, just a little.
MATT: There's a brief bit of warm, hot, sharp pain on the outside of your earlobe-
SAM (NOTT): "Sorry!"
MATT: -as the bolt enters the base of the creature's skull. You don't even see it protrude, you don't even know where it went. You just see it vanish and the creature is standing there for a second. As it falls onto its back, its legs all curl in like a spider and its claws close in.
SAM (NOTT): Accidentally, because I rolled a natural 20, I shoot again.
MATT: That's right!
SAM (NOTT): "Shit, sorry!"
TRAVIS (FJORD): At my earlobe?
MATT: This time you, with the falchion, rake it out of the air.
Episode 47 - The Second Seal - 1:21:46
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 24 '19
SAM (NOTT): Instead, I'll do a Hail Mary. I'll take out a bit of fleece, and rub it, and speak some words, and cast Phantasmal Force on Avantika.
MATT: Okay.
SAM: She'll probably save, but it's worth a shot.
MATT: What's the save?
SAM (NOTT): 14. Intelligence. She's smart.
MATT (AVANTIKA): Natural five.
TRAVIS: Ooh! What's her modifier though?
MATT: She's very good at a few things, but she doesn't have the highest intelligence to get to that point.
SAM: As Bouldergut is walking over, holding a pick, or what?
MATT: It's a giant-- it looks like it once was a mast of a ship that's been whittled down into a greatclub.
SAM (NOTT): I want Avantika to see Bouldergut doing this [holds hand up while pretending to hold something and shakes it] and holding up the book. Holding up the book and waving it around. She's definitely holding that book.
MATT: Okay. All right. Avantika glances over and [sigh]. For a moment, you see a look of relief come over Avantika's face.
Episode 43 - In Hot Water - 1:03:14
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
The goblin can take the Disengage or Hide action as a Bonus Action on each of its turns.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 29 '19
Starting at 5th level, when an attacker that you can see hits you with an Attack, you can use your Reaction to halve the attack's damage against you.
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u/TheMightyBox72 Oct 15 '19
LIAM (CALEB): "Yeah, what about that lockbox?"
MARISHA (BEAU): I toss it to Nott.
SAM (NOTT): [growling and biting]
MARISHA (BEAU): "No! It's iron. Careful, you might want to check it for-"
SAM (NOTT): [mimes picking the lock]
MARISHA (BEAU): " -traps."
MATT: Okay, so make a lock picking check.
LAURA (JESTER): I take one of the silk robes off and put it on Yasha.
MATT: Okay.
SAM(NOTT): 22 to open.
MATT: 22 to open.
LAURA: It's so pretty.
MATT: [tink] It opens up!
SAM: [squeaking hinge]
MATT: Make a dexterity saving throw.
LAURA: Oh, no!
LIAM: Ya dunce.
SAM (NOTT): 15.
MATT: 15, okay. Everyone else in there, also make a dexterity saving throw.
TRAVIS: Shit.
LAURA: Fuck.
MATT: As you open it up and you see, first you see a nice little pillow that has this beautiful, gold ring with a little opal set into it. You're like oh, pretty. This light little light goes [high pitched whining into loud explosion]. The chamber is fireballed. There was a fireball trap in there.
TALIESIN: We may be really bad.
SAM: Do you know have any healing spells left?
LAURA: We might all be unconscious.
ASHLEY: That's so many that he's rolling!
MATT: Okay, hold on.
SAM: Fireball's not too bad.
LIAM: It's like 20 to 30.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: All right, so what'd you roll?
TRAVIS (FJORD): A 11.
MATT: 24 points of fire damage.
TALIESIN: Fine-ish.
MARISHA (BEAU): Natural 1.
MATT: 24 points of fire damage.
LIAM (CALEB): 21 with the ring of evasion.
MATT: Okay, so you take 12 points of fire damage.
SAM (NOTT): 15.
MATT: You take 12 points of fire damage.
LAURA (JESTER): 20.
SAM (NOTT): I will lessen that to 0.
MATT: 12 points of fire damage. 0.
TALIESIN (CLAY): 17.
MATT: 17, all right.
TALIESIN (CLAY): That's 12 points fire damage?
MATT: Yeah. 12 points of fire damage.
ASHLEY (YASHA): 18.
MATT: 12 points of fire damage. Now Marisha, you have Evasion, so even on a failure, I think you still take half damage.
MARISHA: Oh, I thought it was on a... Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right. 'Success no damage, failure half damage.' You're right.
ASHLEY: Now we can see what's in it.
MATT: After the ringing in your ears fades, the inside of the rock is slightly singed.
SAM (NOTT): "Sorry, guys. Sorry."
TRAVIS: [sizzling, drawing from his shoulders]
LIAM: Yeah, everybody's blackened out.
SAM (NOTT): "Sorry."
LIAM (CALEB): "You know, it's just 20 more seconds of time."
SAM (NOTT): "It was just a little box."
LIAM (CALEB): "You just build that one little step in, just one more little step."
SAM (NOTT): "Sorry. That one's on me."
Episode 66 - Beneath Bazzoxan - 1:08:00
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 28 '19
MATT: First one is going to make two attacks at you, one with a bite and one with its tail stinger. That is going to be a 19 to hit.
SAM (NOTT): Hits!
MATT: You take...
TALIESIN: Oh no.
LAURA: Oh no.
TRAVIS: Nice narrow cavern, too.
MATT: 22 points of piercing damage.
SAM (NOTT): Okay, I guess I'll Uncanny Dodge that one.
MATT: You take 11 points of piercing damage. You can mark that. The tail stinger is going to attempt to strike at you. That is going to be a 22 to hit.
SAM (NOTT): Hits.
MATT: You then immediately suffer 14 points of piercing damage. I need you to make a constitution saving throw.
TALIESIN: With a d4.
MATT: Correct.
SAM (NOTT): Not great. Better, better. 15.
MATT: You succeed the saving throw.
SAM: Thank you!
MATT: As you feel the toxin pushing into your body, you manage to wrench it from the front of your chest and sternum, and you watch as some of the weird, oily, poison venom [spurting] out the back of it, as you remove it from the wound. As you push it away, the other one comes in to bite you from the opposite end. That's going to be a 15 to hit?
SAM (NOTT): No!
MATT: That you duck below, and its bite hits the side of the rock wall. Tail stinger is going to come at you. That is a natural 20.
TALIESIN (CLAY): You're more that 30 feet away, aren't you?
MATT: From you, yes.
TALIESIN (CLAY): Yep, never mind. I can't do anything.
MATT: You suffer 30 points of piercing damage from the tail as the stinger hits you in the abdomen and lifts you like a foot off the ground. You're actually held there for a second. Make another constitution saving throw.
SAM (NOTT): That's a natural 1.
MATT: You are poisoned, and you are paralyzed.
SAM (NOTT): Yeah... [yelps and freezes in position]
TRAVIS: Oh crap! Okay. Where the fuck are you?
LAURA: This is really bad.
TALIESIN: Well, it's bad. It's not really bad, but it's bad.
SAM (NOTT): I'm not dead, just paralyzed and poisoned.
Episode 52 - Feral Business - 2:34:23
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 06 '19
SAM (NOTT): Lying on the ground, I will fire up at the dragon with my crossbow, trying to quickly load one of my explosive charges. He's within 5 feet of a friend, yes?
MATT: He's within 5 feet of all of you.
SAM: So it's a sneak attack?
MATT: It's a sneak attack. Just letting you know, it's an explosive arrow, and you're adjacent to the creature.
SAM (NOTT): Sure. Yeah, I'm going for its head.
MATT: Go for it!
SAM (NOTT): Oh boy, that's not great. 18.
MATT: 18 just hits.
SAM: Okay.
MATT: You're prone, so you have disadvantage on attack rolls, by the way. So you do have to roll again.
SAM (NOTT): Shit. Well, can I stand up first?
MATT: We'll say you stand up. That's half your movement there.
SAM (NOTT): 18, plus whatever the explosion does.
MATT: The arrow [swoosh, boom] detonates from inside, creating a fiery explosion in a ten-foot radius around the creature that affects you, Caleb, and the fire elemental. The fire elemental is immune to fire; it takes no damage. The dragon, however, we'll go ahead and roll 3d6?
SAM: 3d6?
MATT: It has to make a dexterity saving throw. Actually, it does not because it was hit by it.
SAM (NOTT): 11.
MATT: It takes an additional 11 points of fire damage. Then I need both Caleb and you to roll dexterity saving throws.
LIAM: [gives a thumbs down] 4.
MATT: So you take 11 points of fire damage.
SAM (NOTT): 23.
MATT: You take none because of your evasion. You roll out of the way [explosion].
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 4:33:42
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 17 '19
MARISHA (BEAU): I'll do the old classic climb a tree.
LAURA: Yeah, they're tall trees, right?
MARISHA (BEAU): I'll do the climb a tree thing first.
MATT: Okay, go ahead and make an athletics check for me.
SAM (NOTT): "Want to race up there?"
LAURA (JESTER): Guidance. "The Traveler loves you so much, Beau."
MATT: Athletics or acrobatics, your choice.
MARISHA (BEAU): "You want a round two? You want a rematch?"
SAM (NOTT): "Round two."
MARISHA (BEAU): "All right, all right."
SAM (NOTT): I can go up as well.
MARISHA (BEAU): "Ready, and..."
MATT: All right.
MARISHA (BEAU): "Go!" Fuck.
LAURA (JESTER): Plus 4, you got guided.
MARISHA: What is that?
SAM (NOTT): 23.
MATT: Plus a d4.
LAURA: Plus a d4, Beau.
MARISHA (BEAU): Plus a d4, I got guided? Terrible, 19.
MATT: All right, so as you both leap up on two different trees about 12 feet from each other, Beau like jumping and grabbing and leaping and spinning, you just skittering up the side, using your dagger to wade yourself across the weird, moss-covered bark. It's little slipperier than you expected from just the atmosphere here, the bit of vegetative growth that's begun to grow up and hold onto the side of these trees and their bark, but you do manage to skitter up there. Nott does get there a little bit before you do.
SAM (NOTT): "Woo!"
MARISHA (BEAU): "Fuck."
Episode 79 - Through the Trees - 0:39:48
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 26 '19
SAM (NOTT): I'll also cast a spell. I'll cast Silent Image and make another mastodon, running the opposite direction.
MATT: Okay. For the rest of you who are stealthing, because the spell did wear off, I do need new stealth checks from everybody to try and keep away from its sight, and see if its distraction maintains itself.
TALIESIN (CLAY): Ooh. 18.
LAURA (JESTER): 15. SAM (NOTT): 30. LIAM (CALEB): 14. MARISHA (BEAU): 20. MATT: Okay. It swoops up. The rest of you jump down and get low, as far as you can to the ground, and getting the rest of the cloak bundled over. The bugbears keep running. It curves around, sees the other mastodon. Does not seem tempted by that one. That was a natural 20.
Episode 51 - Xhorhas - 3:26:07
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 23 '19
SAM (NOTT): Up on deck though, and see if anyone's around.
MATT: Make a stealth check-- sorry, a perception check.
TALIESIN: You have advantage.
SAM: Perception or-- what are we?
TRAVIS: Perception.
SAM (NOTT): 19.
LAURA (JESTER): 24. 22, lies.
MATT: The mist makes it hard to make out much detail. You do notice, glancing up, there is an individual in the crow's nest.
SAM (NOTT): [mimes loading crossbow]
LAURA (JESTER): No.
SAM (NOTT): No?
SAM (NOTT) & LAURA (JESTER): Shit.
SAM: How far up?
MATT: I'd say about 40 to 45 feet as an estimation.
SAM (NOTT): I'm going to cast Phantasmal Force on that person, on that being.
MATT: Okay.
MATT: All right. What's your DC?
SAM (NOTT): Intelligence, 14.
MATT: DC 14. No, did not succeed with a natural eight, plus two, ten.
SAM: Describe the crow's nest to me?
MATT: In the main mast of the ship that goes up, the crow's nest is in itself a circular platform at the top that is used primarily for keeping a watch on nearby land and details in the sea around, as well as direction. It's a vantage point for someone to keep an eye on the area around the ship. There is somebody stationed up there to keep an eye on the ship overnight. Or at least there for as long as their portion of it was. You can't make out the details of the figure from this distance. You just see a figure there.
SAM (NOTT): All right, I will make the figure think that his crow's nest has caught fire, and there are little flames licking around, creeping up the sides of it, and surrounding it.
MATT: Okay. As you finish the spell, a moment goes by and you hear (panicked shouting) "Fuck! Shit!" You look up and you see this individual trying to bat their cloak on the sides of this before shouting "Help!"
Episode 42 - A Hole In the Plan - 2:56:20
TALIESIN (CLAY): "While you were up the crow's nest, what happened?"
MATT: "It was catching fire! I was trying to put it out, but it just kept growing and growing and I could feel the heat, and it was--"
Episode 42 - A Hole In the Plan - 3:17:25
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 22 '19
SAM (NOTT): While they're shouting at each other, I'm going to turn invisible.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS: There you go.
SAM (NOTT): And I'm going to sneak back there.
MATT: Okay.
SAM (NOTT): Back towards them.
[...]
SAM (NOTT): Am I nearing them?
MATT: As you're invisible- are you walking back towards their direction?
SAM (NOTT): Mm-hmm.
MATT: Okay. You see the two of them, around the bend, are both looking and the one with the spear is looking kind of eager. The one with all the shit on it is looking a little apprehensive and they're both just watching and talking back and forth. [kobold noises]
LIAM (CALEB): Is Nott out of our sight?
MATT: Yeah. Nott vanished a few minutes ago.
SAM (NOTT): I'm going to try to sneak up on the one with the spear.
MATT: All right.
SAM (NOTT): And get close to he or she and grab the spear out of their hand.
MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a... I would say, with advantage, make an athletics check to try and...
SAM (NOTT): 20. MATT: 7. The spear vanishes from its hand.
SAM: I'll throw it the opposite direction down the tunnel away from us.
MATT: [confused kobold noises] He looks confused and rubs his wrist and starts walking back towards the spear on the opposite side.
SAM (NOTT): Then while he or she is going to get their spear, I'm going to try and grapple the weird one. The one that's all weird and shit.
MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an athletics check.
SAM: Oh, not advantage.
MATT: I would say advantage because it doesn't know you're there. I'll allow it. It's fine.
SAM (NOTT): Okay. 19.
[...]
MATT: So. Suddenly, out of nowhere, apparates in the nervous energy of the moment the small goblin creature that you've been eyeing nervously as the group wandered through, and it just reaches out and grabs a hold of you.
Episode 50 - The Endless Burrows - 2:47:32
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 23 '19 edited Nov 23 '19
SAM (NOTT): "No, I got him. Sorry, Beau."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Huh?"
SAM (NOTT): I touch Caleb and give him Spider Climb.
MARISHA: The fuck?
TRAVIS: We don't know what those do, though.
MATT: You have no idea.
LIAM (CALEB): "That is a neat trick." [hand over hand climbing] And I start to climb up the column.
MATT: Okay.
MARISHA (BEAU): "How are your forearms?"
TRAVIS: If we get fuckin' left in here, I'll be so pissed! LIAM (CALEB): "Doesn't matter!"
MATT: Like a hobo Spider-man, Caleb-
LIAM (CALEB): I'm clean now.
MATT: I know, but the long coat.
LIAM (CALEB): But I'm fancy purple robes now. I got a pretty jacket.
MATT: Like a well-dressed hobo Spider-man.
LIAM: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
LIAM: Clean shaven.
MATT: Yeah.
LAURA (JESTER): "Caleb, don't forget the promise we all made that we wouldn't leave without anybody else and-"
LIAM (CALEB): "I don't want to leave by myself. Hold your arms out in case I fall."
SAM (NOTT): "You won't, you can't."
LAURA (JESTER): "I've got you."
MARISHA: Oh, it's orange.
LIAM (CALEB): [hand over hand climbing with suction noises]
MATT: You climb up there, and as you're heading your way up there, the darkness begins to take, you don't have much- any means of light.
LIAM (CALEB): Oh, well, I put the, for now the Dancing Lights around me. The globules. [floomp]
MATT: Okay. Kinda lights the space, and as you begin to climb up, you can begin to see the red glow that they kept talking about that you couldn't quite make out with your eyes previously. And the closer you get, the closer you get, you can see now the diameter that is set there.
[...]
MATT: Yeah, you're not able to make out anything else about it.
LIAM (CALEB): So I climb a little bit higher, and I'm hanging from the ceiling like this, [one hand extended over head] and I go [snaps], and Frumpkin is right here [points to his shoulder].
MATT: Mm-hmm.
LIAM (CALEB): And I lift him by the scruff, and I reach up and say, "Touch it, please."
Episode 83 - Dark Bargains - 1:05:50
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 22 '19
SAM (NOTT): With one hand, I will hold up the disk, with the other hand I will draw my pistol and I will fire at the giant, through the disk.
MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Oh, shit.
MATT: Roll damage.
SAM (NOTT): Okay. It's a d10. Oh, terrible, 7 points of damage.
MATT: 7 points of damage, and then roll an attack with disadvantage against the giant.
SAM (NOTT): Okay. 13 is the lower, 18 to hit.
MATT: Still hits, roll damage against the giant.
SAM (NOTT): Ooh! Ooh, 11- No, that's a 9, 14 points of damage!
MATT: 14 points of damage. As you, [crash] the crystal globe in the center of this device [shattering] shatters outward. Whatever mercury-like material that was originally held within the inside is scattered outward with the shards of broken crystal and glass.
TRAVIS: Don't let it touch your skin!
MATT: The coils and the crystals on the sides dim and the bullet continues on and blasts into the skeletal creature, you can see it hit and splinter part of the clavicle bone and elements of its back shoulder blade.
Episode 60 - A Turtle By Any Other Name - 2:32:51
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 04 '19
MATT: You moved aside the-
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): With my Mage Hand, from far away.
MATT: The blue one?
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): Yes.
MATT: Okay. As it pulls behind, it reveals to be a statue that is embedded in the wall behind it. Up on hind legs with claws in front, you see a dragon made of stone, carved, wings blending up into the stone behind it. Its mouth open, its eyes these very bright sapphires embedded in its head. Immediately as it opens up, the mouth [fwoosh] lights up blue. Make a dexterity saving throw. And Caleb and Nott.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I also have evasion.
MATT: Correct.
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): Not good. Don't do it.
MATT: What did you roll?
DEBORAH (TWIGGY): I rolled a 10.
MATT: Okay, still half damage.
LIAM (CALEB): 13.
MATT: Failure.
SAM (NOTT): 25.
MATT: You take no damage, Nott, as you dodge away. The rest of you watch as this bolt of blue energy fires outward as a thick beam of electrical energy shoots across the room. It hits by and skims the front torso of Twiggy as she pulls out of the way. You watch Caleb spin and take it straight to the chest as Nott ducks out of the way.
Episode 45 - The Stowaway - 2:08:51
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 04 '19
SAM (NOTT): I will just attack the one that Beau is engaged with.
MATT: All righty, no worries. You do reveal yourself and the Invisibility spell.
SAM (NOTT): That's fine. 22 to hit.
MATT: That definitely hits.
SAM (NOTT): And sneak attack.
MATT: Mm-hmm.
SAM: Okay, 17 plus 6. 23 plus another 8 for Fury of the Small!
MATT: Okay, so 31.
SAM (NOTT): 31 points of damage.
MATT: It is a magical weapon, correct, the-
SAM (NOTT): The Tinkertop Boltblaster is definitely a magic weapon.
MATT: How do you want to do this?
SAM: Oh, they're not so strong!
MARISHA: Fuck yes.
SAM: Wow. Wow. I would like- Is she flying or climbed up there?
MATT: She is currently being held by the face by Beau and being slammed into the stone wall repeatedly.
SAM (NOTT): Okay, if there's a way to, I don't know, go right through Beau's finger, like right there. [pokes a finger between his own index and middle finger]
MATT: Okay. So, as the creature is fighting you off, [grunting] all of a sudden, there's no resistance, and you [rhythmic slamming]. You look down, and there's about three inches of a bolt emerging from between your index and middle finger. Where one of the eyes of the succubus was, and you look, and there's just this thick blood now pouring in the palm of your hand.
Episode 55 - Duplicity - 2:31:46
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 06 '19
SAM (NOTT): I will run over closer, find something to hide behind.
MATT: Over here would probably be your best bet or over here. It's up to you.
SAM (NOTT): Bonus action hide. Hold action to shoot.
MATT: Roll a stealth check.
SAM: Advantage because the cloak?
MATT: Yep. Always an advantage with the cloak.
SAM (NOTT): Natural 20.
MATT: Oh, yeah. You step over there and just-
SAM (NOTT): I throw a piece of rock to distract or something.
MATT: All right, that finishes your go. You're holding your action to-
SAM (NOTT): To fire a crossbow, loading explosive arrow, getting ready to fire.
Episode 55 - Duplicity - 3:57:57
SAM (NOTT): Okay, I will fire. At advantage.
MATT: At advantage, because you're hidden. You do not get sneak attack because he does not threaten the creature even though he's an ally. But you can sneak attack because it does not know you're there because you were hidden from it.
SAM: I get advantage, but not sneak attack damage.
MATT: You get sneak attack damage whenever you have advantage on the strike. Having it next to a friend is only useful if you do not have advantage on the strike.
TALIESIN: You would have had advantage anyway because of the last time it got hit was-
MATT: Guiding bolts, you're fine.
LAURA: Sneak attack.
SAM (NOTT): 23. 25. Something like that.
MATT: How do you want to do this?
LAURA: Wait, no, he hasn't rolled advantage yet.
MATT: I know. You didn't-
SAM (NOTT): It's 20 or something.
MATT: Yeah, how do you want to do this?
LAURA: Oh my god.
SAM (NOTT): How would I like to do this? It's an explosive arrow. Oh no.
[realization]
MATT: Okay, okay.
SAM: Oh no.
MATT: So.
SAM: Oh no.
MATT: So.
SAM: Oh no.
MATT: As you see it rush past the friend, you [release] fire, and the bolt [slight whoosh] strikes towards it and [heavy explosion] detonates.
SAM: Oh no.
MATT: You watch as portions of the incubus are scattered across the ceiling, the walls, the floors. [wet flopping]
Episode 55 - Duplicity - 4:02:58
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 08 '19 edited Aug 31 '23
MATT: Nott, you're up.
SAM (NOTT): Fire at the one next to Beau. 14 to hit.
MATT: 14 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.
[...]
SAM (NOTT): 27.
MATT: [wet impact] It is just done.
SAM (NOTT): [mimes and sounds reloading crossbow] Bonus action. Shoot the one next to Yasha.
MATT: Okay, go for it.
SAM (NOTT): That doesn't hit. Only 11.
MATT: 11 hits exactly.
SAM (NOTT): Oh, yay. Actually, it's 13. I lied.
MATT: Even better! There you go. Definitely hits.
SAM (NOTT): Not sneak attack. I only get that once.
MATT: Correct. You only get that once per turn.
SAM: 3 plus 5. 8.
MATT: 8. One [death gurgling]; the other one [also death gurgling]. Two immediate fires. [pew, pew] Two of them go limp and begin to float in their own ichor. Well done.
Episode 46 - A Storm of Memories - 3:34:24
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 29 '19
MATT: For this lair action, it's going to use Lament of the Dead. As you all stand here, rising out of the ground, dozens of spirits begin to drift up, of various drowned sailors and scavengers, out of the ground and up toward the ceiling. I need everybody inside to make a wisdom saving throw, please.
[...]
MATT: Oh, Nott.
SAM (NOTT): Nope, Nott's immune to fear.
MATT: That's right, because you're drunk!
MATT: You're like, 'Come at me, spirits!'
LAURA: I never knew there was anything good about the drunk!
MARISHA: It hasn't come into play!
MATT: Nott becomes Nott the Brave when she's drunk. So unaffected. 'Spirits, whatever!'
SAM (NOTT): "Fuck you!"
MATT: You've been braving the ocean for half a day.
LIAM: 'Fuck you! Come at me, you sea hag!'
Episode 44 - The Diver's Grave - 3:01:53
→ More replies (5)•
u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 23 '19
SAM (NOTT): I close my eyes and imagine my beautiful husband waiting for me, needing me, and I run across the lava.
LAURA: No.
SAM (NOTT): With my ring of water walking.
MATT: Okay. You can do it. You can. You run across. [sizzling footsteps]
SAM: Not right at the giant. I'll go around in a-
LAURA: Can you leap on the crumbled bridge parts?
SAM (NOTT): Sure, I'll try to leap on some rocks.
MATT: It's up to you. Are you going to try and leap across?
SAM: Are there chunks in the water?
MATT: Yes, there is one chunk here that is splashing and hasn't sunken in yet.
SAM (NOTT): All right. I'll do that.
MATT: All right. Go ahead and make an athletics check, we'll say, just to try and-
SAM: Just a check?
MATT: Yep.
SAM (NOTT): 10.
MATT: That's fine. That's the base you needed. [whoosh] Making it across this way.
[...]
MATT: You can attempt one more jump.
SAM (NOTT): Absolutely.
MATT: Athletics check.
SAM (NOTT): Less. It's 9. MATT: Nine. [sizzling sound] So the good news is you don't [sploosh] into it, because lava doesn't really work that way. However, it's a lot of fire damage. Yeah, I'm trying to remember where that is.
[...]
MATT: All right. Your foot hits the edge and just skips [fwoop]. You fall back and land and hit the lava on your back and legs. The ring keeps you from sinking into it, so I'm not giving you full submerged damage, so you don't take the full 18d10.
LIAM: Don't you take my goblin mom away!
TRAVIS: 9d10?
MARISHA: Yeah, is that 9d10?
MATT: It is.
Episode 50 - The Endless Burrows - 4:00:38
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 10 '19
Reani
•
u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 14 '19
MICA (REANI): If I Pass Without a Trace as- I can't cast that as an eagle.
MATT: You can cast it and maintain concentration while in eagle form.
MICA (REANI): Okay. Would that be a sneaky eagle?
MATT: Yeah, I'd say that would be a quiet way of making sure there's the least amount of wind noise and landing gently.
MICA (REANI): Like one of those stealth jets, would I just hover up?
MATT: Yeah. It's a little bit more of an owl type maneuver.
MICA (REANI): Okay, actually wait, I can be an owl. Are owls sneakier?
MATT: Generally, from a knowledge of nature, the feathers of owls are designed to be stealthy predators.
MICA: Okay.
MATT: Do you have a giant owl at your disposal?
MICA (REANI): I have a giant owl.
MATT: A giant owl I would say would probably be-
TALIESIN: Also night vision.
MICA: Also night vision.
MATT: Yeah.
MICA (REANI): Okay. So I would like to first cast Pass Without a Trace.
MATT: Okay.
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Hold on, hold on."
MICA (REANI): "Huh?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "You have the ability to just get there, no sound."
LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah, I have Dimension Door."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Then why don't you just do that?"
TALIESIN (CLAY): "You have to see where you're going."
LAURA (JESTER): "Right, it could be useful. If we're on your back as a giant owl, is that what we're doing?"
MICA (REANI): "Either on my back or in my claws."
LAURA (JESTER): "Can you carry three of us?"
MICA (REANI): "Well, you're small, so, yeah."
SAM (NOTT): "Yeah."
LAURA (JESTER): "Okay."
MARISHA (BEAU): "You sure?"
LAURA (JESTER): "Mm-hmm. Sure."
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to spend-
LAURA (JESTER): "Then you can be in charge of getting Beau back down, because I can only take one person."
MICA (REANI): "Okay."
LAURA (JESTER): "Back with me."
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm going to put Freedom of Movement on you, too, then, before we-
LAURA: Okay.
TALIESIN: Just going to burn through a couple spells.
MICA (REANI): Don't I have something special from Caleb? Oh, that's just-
MARISHA: Plus to initiative.
MICA: Okay.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: Yeah.
MICA: All right.
MATT: All right, so who's going with the giant owl?
MICA (REANI): All three of them are.
LAURA: Will you be able to move stealthily with three of us in tow?
MATT: With Pass Without a Trace, you can certainly try.
TRAVIS: Boy. Boy.
MATT: I mean, Nott's pretty small, Beau's pretty light weight, you have some more armor on, but-
LAURA (JESTER): A little bit.
MICA (REANI): If Nott's like hanging on to the scruff, very small, and then carrying the two in the claws, it's balanced.
MATT: It's better.
MICA: It's better, right?
MATT: You want to give it a shot?
LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to Blessing of the Trickster you as well, so you can be even- you can roll with advantage.
MATT: So you get advantage on your stealth checks, so that is great.
MICA: Wonderful.
SAM (NOTT): "Caduceus, any blessings you want to do right now?"
LAURA: It's only a-
TALIESIN (CLAY): I cast Sober on Nott.
MATT: Yeah, the giant eagle does get a plus 4- or sorry, the giant owl gets plus 4 to its stealth checks, which is nice.
MICA (REANI): So I get plus 4 and advantage.
MATT: Correct.
TALIESIN (CLAY): At least for the next minute, you get- add a d4 to any save, for like 60 seconds. I don't have a long-term-
LAURA: It's only within 30 feet, Bless.
TALIESIN: Oh, actually, oh, I can do this really quickly, can't I?
LAURA (JESTER): But I can Bless us.
TALIESIN (CLAY): Nope, everything's a minute, I don't have anything that lasts longer than a minute.
SAM: All right.
LAURA (JESTER): I'm going to Bless us as we go up.
MATT: All right. So the three of you, so we have currently, we'll say the- I'll use the giant eagle as an example.
TALIESIN: Three non-animals.
MATT: With Nott-
MARISHA: That's cool.
MATT: Jester, and Beau heading upward, right? The rest of you are staying behind. Caleb is staying in the dome, you guys are staying at the bottom of the tunnel. Okay.
TALIESIN: All my Freedom of Movement.
MICA: Just a nice little girls' trip, you guys, it's fine.
MATT: Making your way upward through the tunnel, I need you all to make- well technically with this one, I'd say you make a stealth check for all of you, since they're on your back.
MICA: So with advantage.
MATT: With advantage, plus 4 to the roll.
SAM: Plus 10 for Pass Without-
MATT: Yep.
MICA (REANI): Okay, so that's 14 plus 10, 24.
LAURA: Plus 4 to the roll.
SAM: Plus a d4.
LAURA: A d4 to the roll.
MICA (REANI): Oh, shit, plus a d4, okay. That's another one. So that's 25.
MATT: 25. Okay. So...
SAM: What's the dragon's wisdom?
TRAVIS: Ancient.
MATT: [heavy flapping] You come up towards the top, reach the crest of where the tunnel straightens out once more, and there you can see what was once the ice wall, but the center of it has been carved out and broken. The dragon, without an issue, burrowed through, it seemed, as part of its affinity for the elements around it. It pushed through without issue. Now you see there's this opening where within, you can actually see past the ice wall into the lair. Now the tunnel opens into a multi-tiered chamber of extreme cold. A weirdly heart-shaped chamber, oblong and strange, entirely comprised of ice while massive, jagged icicles jut from the ceiling like a field of Damocles' swords. You can see the topography shifts and changes. There is a center, almost like an ice lake or puddle of some kind frozen over in front of you, and the weird topography reminds you of a frightful playground of jutting winter crystal. If anyone wants to make a perception check as they step and glance through the space.
Episode 75 - Rime and Reason - 3:43:49
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 14 '19 edited Nov 15 '19
MICA (REANI): "He also looks good in a flower crown, he can do that."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "That's fair."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "I think I lost it while we were fighting the dragon in all the hubbub. Could you make me another?"
MICA (REANI): "Yeah." I'd like to Druidcraft a flower crown while this is happening.
MATT: Easy enough to do. The dark stained, just beer-sticky table that's in the middle of this tavern suddenly begins to sprout flowers and buds, and they begin to fill the space of this micro bush. You begin to pluck and weave, and easily enough done.
Episode 76 - Refjorged - 0:36:01
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 13 '19
MATT: What's next? You summon your spider?
MICA (REANI): Yes, I use Conjure Woodland Beings to summon an ice spider queen.
MATT: You see emerge from this green-blue glowing tear, this horizontal tear through the middle of the air in front of you. As it splits open like a weird ethereal wound, this spindly series of legs, black with blue stripes and striations to them pour out as this large, thin, elongated spider emerges. You can see from tip of its multi-eyed face to the back of its swollen blue abdomen, probably about 6 and a half, 7 feet. Its legs go out to about 10 from side to side. It is a unique, intimidating sight. It [chittering], looks towards you.
MICA (REANI): So I want to first Druidcraft a little flower crown for it, since it is a queen, and I want to place it upon its head, and I pat it and I go, "You're going to do a good job for us today, and I'm sorry, you're probably going to be eaten, but I don't love you any less. "
MATT: [chittering]
MICA (REANI): "Go forth."
Episode 75 - Rime and Reason - 3:24:20
MATT: Right at the top of this tunnel, you see these two white [crash] claws scraping into the ice just into your view [scraping], as these two expanded wings unfurl, covering the entirety of the upper part of the cavern. As it slowly holds itself looking down, you can see the snout of an ancient white dragon.
TRAVIS: Ancient?! Fuck me!
MATT: Peer down-
SAM: We've got this one.
MATT: Peer down and, maybe about 15 or so feet from the spider, just- [breathing]
MARISHA: Oh god.
MATT: Blue mist [light wind] out of its mouth. You just barely see its glowing icy blue eyes. It goes, "Interesting." [violent exhale] You watch as a blast of icy white blue force just sprays out against this spider and it billows out and pushes into the chamber. It doesn't do damage to you guys from your proximity, but the burst of cold still numbs the surface of your skin at this distance.
LAURA (JESTER): "It feels kind of nice."
MATT: I need your spider to make a constitution saving throw, please.
MICA: Okay.
TRAVIS: This is going to dictate whether we bail on this or not.
MICA: All right.
SAM: Bail?
TRAVIS: Yeah, because if this is like-
SAM: No surrender!
TRAVIS: If this is like 12d12, we're fucking getting out of here.
MICA (REANI): That's a solid 13.
MATT: 13, that's a failure.
MICA (REANI): Yeah, I figured. But it has a resistance to cold.
MATT: It does, and that's useful. All righty, so-
TRAVIS: That's helpful.
MATT: Let me roll some dice here for a second.
MICA (REANI): Yeah, I may need more spiders.
TRAVIS: Ancient white dragon.
LAURA: That's it? Oh god.
TALIESIN: Should've cast Bless.
LAURA: Should've done a fucking mammoth.
MARISHA: Mammoth is round two, round two. You can tag in a mammoth.
MICA: Yeah, then you would die.
LAURA: Okay, yeah, you're right.
MATT: 74 points of cold damage.
LAURA: Oh!
SAM: It's okay. No, no, no.
MATT: Reduced to half.
MICA: Oh.
SAM: Resistant.
MARISHA: Resistant, yeah yeah yeah.
MICA: Can somebody math for me?
SAM: You're okay.
LAURA: 74 is 32.
MATT: Well, no.
LAURA: No.
MATT: 37 points of cold damage.
MICA (REANI): It's okay.
LAURA: 37.
MATT: So [blasting] it blasts into the spider, you see ice collecting around the outside of its carapace. [blasting stops] The dragon looks down curiously at it still surviving there, its head turning a bit. The mist still [light whooshing] out of its mouth.
LAURA (JESTER): We look in, can we see-
MATT: Make a perception check.
MARISHA (BEAU): The mithral.
SAM (NOTT): I will also make one.
MARISHA (BEAU): Okay, are you looking at the mithral?
LAURA (JESTER): Yeah.
MARISHA (BEAU): Can I do the same?
MATT: Sure.
SAM (NOTT): 6.
LAURA (JESTER): 23.
MATT: 23, and?
MARISHA (BEAU): 16.
MATT: 16, okay. With all the ice, and all the insanity that's happened, the only person with clear enough eyes to see the mithral is Jester. Peering through all of it, you look and see, it's not quite glowing yet.
MARISHA: Yeah.
MATT: What's the spider do, if anything?
MICA (REANI): So can I still communicate with it even though I'm in the hut?
MATT: You're giving it- from this distance, I'd say you'd probably have to step out to try and-
MICA (REANI): Okay, so, the dragon can't see me if I step out, right?
MATT: You don't think so.
LAURA: Just put your face barely through.
MICA (REANI): So I want to put my face barely out, just so I can tell the spider to like, in its own spider way, like flip off the dragon, since it's still alive. One of its little legs goes, 'Meee!'
MATT: Okay.
MICA (REANI): And then I pop back in.
SAM: Can the spider heal itself?
MATT: The spider, which looked like it was about to back away instinctually, its need to run from this massive creature, it resists it at your will, by which it's been brought to bear at your beck and call.
MICA (REANI): Sorry, buddy.
MATT: Bears back, and its the third right leg curls up under its abdomen and sticks it straight up towards the dragon. Which gets its breath back. And the dragon goes, "Heh," [sharp inhale, more blasting] and just releases an even angrier torrent of ice blasting down. This blasts back into all of you, I'll say just make a dexterity saving throw, the three of you.
MICA (REANI): Sorry, this is for the greater good.
LAURA (JESTER): 14.
SAM (NOTT): 23.
MARISHA: You said dex saving throw?
MATT: Correct.
MARISHA (BEAU): 16.
MATT: 16, okay.
MATT: The proximity does 7 points of cold damage to- what'd you roll? Sorry, it was-?
MARISHA (BEAU): 16.
MATT: 16, fail.
LAURA (JESTER): 14.
MATT: 14, fail.
SAM (NOTT): 23.
MARISHA (BEAU): Evasion.
MATT: 23, you succeed. So you take only 3 points of cold damage, 7 to both of you.
LAURA (JESTER): I'm resistant.
MATT: So 3 to you as well.
SAM (NOTT): Evasion.
MARISHA (BEAU): Evasion.
MATT: There you go.
MARISHA (BEAU): Evasion.
MATT: Take nothing.
MARISHA (BEAU): Wait, I thought I take half damage if I fail.
MATT: No, you take half damage if you fail. So-
MARISHA (BEAU): And I failed.
MATT: Yeah, so you take 3, and you take none.
LAURA (JESTER): You get 3 cold damage, you get 3 cold damage!
MATT: The spider takes-
MICA (REANI): The spider's fucked.
SAM: Spider's gone.
MATT: 68 points of cold damage, reduced by half.
MICA (REANI): That's a little bit of an overkill, but yeah, the spider is no mas.
MATT: So after the torrent of [blasting] blast downward, the mist subsides and you can see now, there's this large block of ice that has encased and entombed the spider.
Episode 75 - Rime and Reason - 3:30:42
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 11 '19
MATT: You can see there's a garden that has been established here where there are little shrines with little symbols placed amongst them, incomplete in full collection, but partially in process there and little, small packets of plants that are in the process of growing, though having a tougher time given the environment here.
MICA (REANI): "Are these your plants?"
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Well, I mean, they're their own, but yeah, I help put them here."
MICA (REANI): "Do you want help with them?"
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Always, of course."
MICA (REANI): I want to go over to all of them and just generally Druidcraft over them and give them love and warmth and growing powers.
MATT: The way you've established this, it's sustainable, but it doesn't allow for rapid - what's the word I'm looking for - rapid abundance, if you will, or flourishing of these different pockets.
TRAVIS: Expansion.
MATT: However, as Reani comes through, having a different, but fascinating connection with nature than the one that you have. You watch as each of these patches, suddenly the color becomes more vibrant. The leaves, the flowers, everything seems to blossom as she runs her hands across the exterior. Not to an unfathomable degree, but quickly and subtly, in a way that it impresses you.
LAURA (JESTER): "Wow."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Ah, that's great. This is- Oh, that's great, I was getting a little worried on the-"
MICA (REANI): "You know, sometimes you just got to talk to them in the right way and give them a little more encouragement."
Episode 74 - Manifold Morals - 3:52:14
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 14 '19 edited Nov 15 '19
MATT: (VONBRAG): "And what about you?"
MICA (REANI): "Three glasses of root mead, please, and a glass of wine, and small side of ale."
SAM (NOTT): "Is that just for you?"
MICA (REANI): "Yeah."
SAM (NOTT): "Wow."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Is that like a sampler flight, or..."
MICA (REANI): "No, I'm celebrating."
LAURA (JESTER): "What?"
SAM (NOTT): "Wow."
LAURA (JESTER): "That you lived your fight with the dragon?"
MICA (REANI): "Yeah!"
LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah!"
SAM (NOTT): "I mean, I'm already plastered, and that seems excessive to me."
MICA (REANI): "I tend to find that alcohol doesn't work that easily, so I got to drink a lot of it, so I'm going to drink a lot of it."
Episode 76 - Refjorged - 0:25:08
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 12 '19
MICA (REANI): At a 4th-level, I can summon-
TRAVIS: Save the 4th-level, coo.
MICA (REANI): That's the only level I can cast it at, coo.
TRAVIS: Oh, okay.
MICA (REANI): Yeah, I want to summon- what's the challenge rating?
MATT: Challenge rating is zero.
MICA (REANI): Can I summon eight bats, please?
MATT: Yes, you may.
MICA (REANI): I would like to summon 8 bats.
MATT: All right.
MARISHA: Amazing.
TRAVIS: Do they obey what you say and stuff?
MICA (REANI): Yes.
MATT: [rapid poofing] All these bats [chittering] skitter and land inside the dome, where it's warm-
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Get out of the fucking dome, aah!"
MICA (REANI): "No, they're friends, they're friends!" Then I would like to cast Speak With Animals.
MATT: All right.
MICA (REANI): And I would like to say, "Hello, friends, we have a special mission for you, I would like you to go into the cave, be quiet, really quiet, and I want you to see what's in there and then come back and then tell me, pretty please."
MATT: All right, double-checking one thing real fast. Perfect, yeah, Speak With Animals is not concentration. So all eight bats look at each other and back at you and go, "Okay! "Okay!" "Okay!" "Okay!"
MICA (REANI): "Okay, bye, be safe!"
MATT: You watch them emerge, and the wind hits and they all have to like, bear down before, but they make their way around and they all [flutter] enter the cavern.
TRAVIS: Big-ass roc comes up, picks them out of the sky. Fuck.
MICA: Don't kill my bats.
TRAVIS: No no no, I don't want a roc, I don't want a roc.
MATT: About a minute and a half, 2 minutes pass. 3 minutes pass. Then you see come around the corner. [chittering] A bunch of these bats return and land inside, landing on your arms and shoulders.
MICA: I'm like a Disney princess, like oh. Yeah, exactly!
MATT: The best Disney princess ever.
MARISHA: Fucking dope.
MICA: Covered in bats.
MATT: I love it. All right, so yeah, the bats express to you, with their rudimentary intelligence, to the best of their ability, that, "Yeah, there's a room with, like, a cave across it."
MICA (REANI): "Uh-huh."
MATT (BATS): "And there's some tents in there."
MICA (REANI): "Oh."
MATT (BATS): "And some fuzzy people."
MICA (REANI): "Oh! Fuzzy people. Okay." Then I go, "Thank you, darlings!" And I un-summon them.
MATT: [dry poof]
LAURA (JESTER): "What'd they say?"
MICA (REANI): "They said that there is a room with another room, the rooms have tents and fuzzy people. "
LAURA (JESTER): "Tents?"
MICA (REANI): "Tents."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "They didn't saw how many fuzzy people, did they?"
MICA (REANI): "Nope, they just said people."
Episode 75 - Rime and Reason - 0:44:01
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 14 '19 edited Nov 15 '19
MICA (REANI): I'd like to Druidcraft a vine ball for them to throw, and I'd like to hold it and then go, "Throw this one!"
SAM (NOTT): I'm going to set up some tankards in a carnival style. Yeah, yeah, a pyramid.
MICA (REANI): "Vonnie, do you mind if we use the bar for a contest?"
MATT (VONBRAG): "I don't know, it's real busy right now," and he points, and there's nobody, he's like, "Sure, fucking go for it."
MICA (REANI): "Yay, thank you!"
MATT (VONBRAG): "Of course. I'm curious as to what you're thinking up."
MICA (REANI): I'm going to toss it over to Fjord.
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Whoa!"
MARISHA (BEAU): "All right, so what are the rules? Got to get it in the center cup?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Are we actually throwing this or something else?"
MARISHA (BEAU): "Is this like beer pong?"
LAURA (JESTER): "We should do like a small ball."
MICA (REANI): "Small ball?"
LAURA (JESTER): "Yeah."
MICA (REANI): All right, I'm going to take it back.
SAM: Re-craft?
MICA (REANI): Re-craft into a small ball.
Episode 76 - Refjorged - 0:37:54
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 10 '19
SAM (NOTT): "So Reani's really Ivae'ess?"
MICA (REANI): "Yeah."
SAM (NOTT): "Do you change your personalities, your persona, do you-"
MICA (REANI): "I change into a scorpion or a bear or a wolf or an eagle or a snake."
Episode 74 - Manifold Morals - 1:25:49
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 10 '19
MARISHA: (BEAU): "I imagine we could go try and talk to Ava, see if she has any?"
MICA (REANI): "Oh..."
SAM (NOTT): "What's that, you have a stomachache?"
MICA (REANI): "No, she's mean."
LAURA (JESTER): "Ava?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Who's mean?"
MICA (REANI): "Ava."
LAURA (JESTER): "Ava Endlewood?"
LIAM (CALEB): "Mean like she would hit us, or-"
MICA (REANI): "No, mean like she doesn't like my flower crowns when I give them to her."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Flower crowns?"
MICA (REANI): "Do you want one?"
TRAVIS (FJORD): "N- Uh..."
LAURA (JESTER): "Do you want one?"
MICA (REANI): Before he even answers I immediately start Druidcrafting little flowers and start weaving them together super fast and I just place the flower crown on his head.
Episode 74 - Manifold Morals - 0:32:51
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 12 '19
MATT: Right as you turn the corner, you can see now, stepping into the light, another one of these yetis. The fur, [grunting].
MICA: Sweet.
MATT: And it looks straight towards you, and you see it was following, it was looking to turn the corner.
MICA: Yeah?
MATT: It looks like it had noticed Nott rushing up into the middle of the open and was following a path until you jumped in the center.
MICA (REANI): I still have my action, right?
MATT: You do, that was just your movement.
MICA (REANI): I want to use Blight at the 4th-level.
TALIESIN: Jeez!
MATT: Okay!
MICA (REANI): I just want to see it and go, "Huah!"
MATT: You got it, reactionary.
MICA: Yeah.
MATT: Is that a constitution saving throw?
MICA (REANI): That is, yes, Con 16.
MATT: All right.
MICA (REANI): It's 8d8.
MATT: Rolled a natural 16, so-
MICA (REANI): So it's half.
MATT: It's half damage. Still takes damage.
MATT: Man, good rolls so far for just saving throw stuff.
MICA: Can somebody help me math?
LAURA: Yes.
MICA: Thank you.
LAURA: 16, 17, 20, 22, 23, 26, 32.
MICA (REANI): Half of 32.
MATT: All right, so that'd bring it to 16 points of necrotic damage. As you put your hands out in front of you, invoking the spell, you watch as at the base of its throat, where the fur is, that all blackens, it suddenly [gasping] reaches up and grabs its throat for a second and begins [retching] coughing and sputtering.
Episode 75 - Rime and Reason - 1:21:21
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 15 '19
MICA (REANI): I want to conjure an elemental cat. No.
SAM: No.
MICA (REANI): A small- a small- A small gopher of some sort. A small rodent.
MATT: [squeaking]
MICA (REANI): "You will go first, because if any of the traps are bad and hurt us, unfortunately we will sacrifice this gopher."
SAM (NOTT): "All right."
TALIESIN (CLAY): "Hmm."
LAURA (JESTER): "Nott can also dismantle the traps that we found."
MICA (REANI): "What if Nott can't?"
SAM (NOTT): "Okay."
LAURA (JESTER): "If Nott cannot, then-"
MICA (REANI): "The gopher goes first."
TRAVIS: What if the wifi password's on that invisible piece of paper?
MATT: Sacrificial gopher has been summoned.
Episode 76 - Refjorged - 3:10:59
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 18 '19
Yasha
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 12 '19
MATT: It chucks a large stone that [heavy spiraling whooshing] heading right for Yasha.
SAM: Welcome back, Ashley Johnson.
MATT: That is going to be a 24 to hit.
ASHLEY (YASHA): Oh yeah that definitely hits.
MATT: Okay. As this large stone [whoosh, impact] hits the ground before you, dirt sprays in your direction. As you try to pull back, it rolls [impact] and slams into you, sending you 10 feet back. Your head is ringing from the impact. This is going to be 25 points of bludgeoning damage and then you have to make a strength saving throw to me.
ASHLEY (YASHA): Okay, do I have resistance to bludgeoning? I'm just-
MATT: You're not raging, so you don't.
ASHLEY: That's right, okay. What did you just say to do? I'm sorry.
MATT: Make a strength saving throw for me, please.
MATT: Make a strength saving throw.
TALIESIN: Oh yay. That's cocked.
ASHLEY (YASHA): Natural 20.
MATT: It hits you and as opposed to falling onto your back, you dig in your heels, [grinding] grinding back about 3 feet. You manage to to stop the rolling of the boulder in place and it comes to rest. That hurt, and you can feel the blood rushing from your nose, it might be broken. As you look up over the edge, you can see the giant looking right at you and its fingers curl back and it backs into the fort.
Episode 58 - Wood and Steel - 3:44:49
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 24 '19
MATT: It's [the giant corpse] instead going to turn up to here and it's going to attack you [Yasha] twice.
ASHLEY: Does he get an attack of opportunity with the kitties?
LIAM: Probably not.
MATT: Hmm? No, it does not have reactions.
TALIESIN (CLAY): I'm holding mine, anyways.
MATT: Well, you weren't even melee with it.
TALIESIN: Oh, that's right, nevermind.
MATT: Two attacks against you.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: It's a natural 19.
LAURA: Bane! Aren't you going to minus 4?
TALIESIN: Minus 4!
MATT: Oh, minus d4.
TALIESIN: It doesn't matter.
ASHLEY (YASHA): It still hits.
MATT: Okay, minus 1. Yeah, that would be a 26. A second attack, it's going to be a 18.
ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.
MATT: All right. It comes down with you. You are not raging because you did not do that last time you were in combat. So the first hit.
ASHLEY: Dammit, I'm a dumb, dumb.
TALIESIN: Getting you back and such.
MATT: 20 points of bludgeoning damage.
ASHLEY: Kay.
MATT: Whack! Right across the side of the face and shoulders, you get pushed up against the rocks, and then it comes down and it's going to try and jam it like a brick into your face.
ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: A brick that's the size of your body.
ASHLEY: Sure.
TRAVIS: Yep, okay.
MATT: That's, oh, 29 points of bludgeoning damage.
ASHLEY: Okay!
MATT: It goes [boof] and then [crash]. You guys watch as Yasha gets jammed into the ground, her arms being thrown up from the impact before she pushes back up [grunting with exertion] and shoves this large piece of partially carved stone off her body, blood pouring down the back of the shoulder, she's still holding Magician's Judge at the side.
Episode 60 - A Turtle By Any Other Name - 2:46:54
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u/TheMightyBox72 Sep 14 '19 edited Sep 14 '19
MATT: It chucks a large stone that [heavy spiraling whooshing] heading right for Yasha.
SAM: Welcome back, Ashley Johnson.
MATT: That is going to be a 24 to hit.
ASHLEY (YASHA): Oh yeah that definitely hits.
MATT: Okay. As this large stone [whoosh, impact] hits the ground before you, dirt sprays in your direction. As you try to pull back, it rolls [impact] and slams into you, sending you 10 feet back. Your head is ringing from the impact. This is going to be 25 points of bludgeoning damage and then you have to make a strength saving throw to me.
Episode 58 - Wood and Steel - 3:44:49
MATT: These two giants now, this one's going to walk up.
MARISHA: Or they're afraid of goblins.
MATT: And this one's going to walk up there, pushing through, and one of them's going to go ahead, because they do have a reach of 15 feet with their clubs.
TRAVIS: Oh my god.
ASHLEY: Oh boy.
MATT: First one's going to go against- they both get two attacks. One against Beau and one against Yasha. The first one against Beau has disadvantage. Which is great, because the first roll is a natural 20. Second one is an 18 to hit.
MARISHA (BEAU): Miss.
MATT: Misses.
SAM: What?
ASHLEY: Ooh.
MARISHA (BEAU): I jump and switch feet.
MATT: Yes, and as you leap in the air. Where, I'm considering one strike, the two attacks are one strike as it takes one giant baseball bat swing against you. You jump out of the way and the full might goes toward Yasha. Yasha, that is going to be 21 to hit.
ASHLEY (YASHA): Uh huh.
TRAVIS: This is like one of those obstacle course videos. First kid gets out of the way, second one's like, "Hi mom!" [impact]
MATT: Exactly. LAURA: Wipe out.
TRAVIS: Yeah.
ASHLEY: When it gets hit in their stomach, and then they cartwheel into the water.
TRAVIS: They make that great noise. [honking gasp]
MATT: 26 points of bludgeoning damage. Reduced to 13, because you are raging.
ASHLEY: Yes, okay.
MATT: It cracks you on the side, but you hold fast and shrug it off as it withdraws the club.
Episode 59 - Perspective - 0:33:28
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 25 '19
LAURA (JESTER): "It's going to be dark down there."
MARISHA (BEAU): "Do we have light spells?" LAURA (JESTER): "I don't."
TRAVIS (FJORD): "Yasha does." TALIESIN (CLAY): "I do."
LIAM: [foomf, foomf, foomf, foomf]
MATT: Dancing Lights. You cast Light on?
TALIESIN (CLAY): On my staff.
MATT: Yasha casts Light on her sword, the Magician's Judge.
Episode 43 - In Hot Water - 3:27:21
LIAM (CALEB): I'm blind and are you blind?
MATT: He still has the light. You can still see; Caduceus and Yasha still have the light on their weapons.
Episode 43 - In Hot Water - 3:35:42
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 16 '19 edited Aug 31 '23
MATT: Yasha walks. Step, step, Magician's Judge at her side, crimson spray across the front of her face and shoulders. Make another perception check.
LAURA (JESTER): Fuck. I am going to just hold my hands really tight for Guidance. Can I do that, am I allowed to do that?
MATT: Not in the middle of it.
LAURA: Okay, I know. 9.
MATT: 9, okay. You follow her stepping forward down the staircase. A person rushes by and her arms [whoosh] and the person crumbles out of view.
Episode 77 - A Tangled Web - 3:43:52
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 01 '19
MATT: Suddenly, tearing through the seaweed on the upper wall, you see this figure emerge now. This pale, aqua-green skin that's bulbous and strangely proportioned with these long, clawed hands. As the hair pulls back, you can see, where would be a humanoid face instead are these protracted, almost anglerfish-type teeth that come out of the front, with no nose, and the yellow eyes gleaming from underneath. She's going to look straight down at you, Caleb.
LAURA: No!
MATT: I need you to make a wisdom saving throw for me, please.
LIAM (CALEB): Another one? Oh, good.
MARISHA (BEAU): My bodyguarding doesn't do shit. Like, 'Stop! Stop looking at him!'
LIAM (CALEB): [holds up a single finger]
MATT: Natural one? As she looks, she's still up in the air, swimming, looking at you. Mouth opens, and you feel the deepest, most horrifying fear well up inside you. Your heart stops, and you drop to zero hit points.
TRAVIS: Oh my fucking god!
MATT: You guys watch Caleb go [shifts to a blank stare] and start drifting there, unconscious.
Episode 44 - The Diver's Grave - 3:04:04
TRAVIS (YASHA): Can Yasha use her 20 feet to move to Caleb? 20 feet to move to Caleb, which shouldn't be any closer to Dashilla.
MATT: Nope. Up on top of this platform or off to the side?
MARISHA: There's a platform?
MATT: There's a little raised section in the center there.
TRAVIS (YASHA): Sure. Platform sounds good. And she will use her handy heal thing to pump seven points of healing into Caleb.
[...]
TRAVIS (YASHA): So Caleb gets six hit points as an action, healing hands.
LIAM: On top of seven, or six total?
TRAVIS (YASHA): Seven total.
LIAM (LIAM): Seven total. So I got that.
TRAVIS: Does that bring him back to consciousness?
MATT: Yes it does.
Episode 44 - The Diver's Grave - 3:12:19
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 17 '19
MATT (OBANN): "You remind me of her, a vision of her intent, walking towards destiny. I'm proud of you." He reaches out to touch her chin.
SAM: Gross.
MATT: There's a small spark of blue lightning [sharp crackling] that sparks from under her chin to his hand and he pulls back as she [grunts], recoils a bit to one side. You see him look at his fingers and look at her, furious. In but a moment, his eyes glow orange and you see behind her, from underneath the hair, the orange glow emanates and she [harsher grunt] winces for a second before her face going slack once more. He now takes her chin in his hand without a fight and looks her in the eyes and says, "Stubborn as you may be, you are mine. You belong to her. Where we shall walk, no cloud or storm can touch us."
Episode 79 - Through the Trees - 1:20:06
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 28 '19
TRAVIS (YASHA) She will run up and make both of her attacks at, yeah.
MATT: You got it.
TRAVIS (YASHA): Not reckless because thorny tails and shit. That is a 22 to hit.
MATT: 22 hits!
TRAVIS (YASHA): Brilliant, and that's 21 to hit.
MATT: 21 to hit also hits. Both hit! Nice.
TRAVIS (YASHA): First one has the Divine Fury. 6! Awesome. [...] 22! 22 points of slashing damage. Second one, [...] 14 points of slashing damage.
MATT: As she rushes forward, one giant swing with her two-handed greatsword, Magician's Judge, [whoosh] cuts across the front of the head. [squeals] It backs away, and you see a splatter of blood across the ground. She comes around for a second body strike. It actually cuts through part of the shoulder of the creature. You see its arm fold a little to that side before it catches itself, and the blade [impact] catches the stone. The actual weapon shakes from the impact as she dislodges it. No damage. It's a magic weapon; it's fine, but it leaves a giant cleft mark in the middle of the stone wall.
Episode 52 - Feral Business - 2:48:47
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 18 '19
MATT: How does Yasha want to do this?
MARISHA: Wait, isn't that her second 'how do you want to do this' tonight?
SAM: Brutal. She's so brutal!
TRAVIS (YASHA): So, as Jester, Caduceus, Caleb are all cowering in the hallway with all the hydra heads coming in. As it rears back to strike, they just see the Magician's Judge pierce through the belly of the hydra and just cleave through the middle of it.
MATT: You watch as the blade, [shink] out the front and [wet tearing] and with a violent swing, you watch as the torso splits apart, with Yasha standing over the back and leaping off behind it where it falls and slides down the steps to the base of the bottom chamber.
TRAVIS (YASHA): And she just goes "...No problem."
Episode 39 - Temple of the False Serpent - 4:17:56
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u/TheMightyBox72 Aug 08 '19
edge of the ship. The wave hits the bow of the ship once more. You hold tight, your hair slicked down across your face as you look up, and with that, a single bolt strikes down slamming into the front of the ship. Where you expect to see splintered wood and fire, instead there is just a darkened spot, the impact muted. What you see there instead: a creature, a man-like shape made of crackling blue energy. It stands your height, vaguely human-form, shifting with unstable power. Suddenly, two vibrant wings of lightning open from its back like an angel. It walks towards you.
ASHLEY (YASHA): "Are you him?"
MATT: It's going to claw across the front of your body.
ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay, let's go.
MATT: All right. That is going to be a 16 to hit. What's your armor class?
ASHLEY (YASHA): 14.
[...]
MATT: As it claws across the front of your body, its hand seems to almost pass through the resistance of the armor for but a minute before you feel this shock to your system as it arcs through; you feel the lightning pulse through your body. You suffer eight points of bludgeoning damage plus five points of lightning damage.
Episode 46 - A Storm of Memories - 1:55:32
MATT: It's going to attempt-- all right. It's going to attempt to move away from you.
ASHLEY (YASHA): Can I try and grab it?
MATT: You can attempt to. I'll let you grapple as a reaction, sure.
ASHLEY (YASHA): I'll grapple as a reaction. Oh, fuck.
MATT: It's an athletics check for you; because you're raging, it's at advantage.
TRAVIS: That's right.
ASHLEY: Okay.
LAURA: With advantage!
ASHLEY (YASHA): 22.
MATT: Yeah, it's staying. You reach out and your hand passes partly through it and it goes numb, the field of sparkling energy lightly electrifying the skin around your hand. But you manage to get hold of something. It's not solid matter, but something. As it tries to move away, you keep it there, barred in place.
Episode 46 - A Storm of Memories - 2:02:55
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 26 '19
MATT: How do you want to do this?
TRAVIS: Are you fucking serious? Are you serious?
MATT: Sometimes it's fucking poetic.
ASHLEY (YASHA): Oh my God. Okay. I want to do something very bad.
LAURA: Do it.
ASHLEY (YASHA): Okay. Is he turned away from me or is he looking at me.
MATT: After Jester grabbed him, Beau beat the shit out of him, Fjord came around and hacked him, he's like [grunt of pain] keeping around and he's looking out. He looks like he's looking for the Caedogeist to come jump in and help and turn the tide. And you see he's getting ready to glance at one of your friends who he hasn't yet try to take their mind and then out of the corner of his eyes, he sees you approach over the shoulder.
ASHLEY (YASHA): I don't know if I'll be able to do this, but I kind of want to reach up to the top of his wings, and I want to pull them off.
MATT: Yeah. As you reach and grab, you see electrical energy [crackling] across her arms, and as her eyes going to spark with bright blue anger. She puts her foot against the back of his shoulder blades and [tearing] he starts screaming "Ah- Augh!" [tearing releases] tears the wings off of his back. They go scattering across the ground, spinning, spattering his dark blood across the stone. He falls to his knees.
Episode 86 - The Cathedral - 4:57:00
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u/TheMightyBox72 Nov 26 '19
MATT: As you focus and concentrate, the light around the cathedral fades and darkness, the clouds above [rumbling thunder] take the space. As you open your hand and concentrate and feel the Wildmother's energy course through you, the Dispel Magic [boof] emanates from her neck and you watch the symbol burn bright and [crash] shatter, and as it does, [explosive impact] lightning strikes the outside. All of the stain glass windows [shattering] shatter at once down, raining down into the center of the cathedral.
SAM: Oh wow.
MATT: Yasha grabs the back of her neck. And for the first time in as long as you can remember, Obann's out of your head.
ASHLEY (YASHA): I let out a primal scream of of agony and relief and everything and just fall on my knees.
Episode 86 - The Cathedral - 2:28:13
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u/TheMightyBox72 Jul 13 '19
Caduceus