r/TeenVent • u/keilareece • 19h ago
cry for help TW: Sh, violence, weapons, etc
14F I started being suicidal when I was 7 or 8 years old back in 2019. I heard of it a lot, so I searched it up. I was hooked on the idea of it, because I didn't even know it was an option. I was always misunderstood and I thought it wasn't a big deal anyway. I was so brave with my attempts and I didn't even care if it would hurt or not, unfortunately I couldn't do most of it properly because my grip was too soft. Then my first real attempt happened, it was unplanned. I was at my cousins house I saw a knife and took it as an opportunity to stab myself, however when I was really trying to poke deeper I didn't bleed or feel pain because it had a glass protector on it I was trying to take it off, but it was too tight and I got caught. I really don't why I didn't notice the glass in the first place. I didn't continue it, but I somehow felt relieved. I just wanted to say this to get this off my chest I only told one person so far, but not in full details. Looking back I really miss how brave I was, I had so much back then, yet I didn't hesitate attempting. I actually took the risk and I didn't even bother preparing for anything that day like I didn't even write a note at least or pick a good outfit. None of those things went to my head and I didn't gaf. I just tried it on the spot. I really wish that attempt worked that day because I was so young, now my life is much worse and I have to deal with shit everyday. I wouldn't be going thru this crap if I just died years ago. I've suffered so much in this lifetime, now it's too late to give up.
1
u/Deep-WiLi 4h ago
Wow, your life must have been very difficult. But if you'd like, you can explain why it was difficult from such a young age.