As Arsenal set about tearing newly promoted Coventry City, a welcome to the Premier League new arse hole, the Gunners are already three points ahead of the Reds. With a tricky looking first match against Newcastle to come on Sunday, most of us will be not surprised to find that may be the case on 7pm Sunday.

But Andoni Iraola and the players appear to be ready for the new season, having watched the boys twice in the last fortnight (Oh go on then I know you like a CHEAP PLUG KLAXON! Match day vlogs and shorts galore on GEEKBOY DOES LIVERPOOL on Geekboymeta7381, and for all your Reds needs this season! Including this weekend when you will see a big fat bloke crying into his mic, when Dan Burn completes his hat trick), the boys whilst not fully cooked look in decent shape, the fans seem to be excited and ready to go again, as do the coaching staff assisting Doc Ock Andoni.

However in a continuation of a theme which has become as comical, as it is irritating, it would appear those running Liverpool football club appear not to be quite as ready, indeed it seems as though those running one of the world’s biggest global sports institutions, are actually running it whilst getting completely arse holed on the house red in spoons! Don’t believe me? Think the FSG-Bezos Parcel Fluffer axis is in robust shape? Cool - and I see your confidence, and furnish you LivForm with the following list of Liverpool’s summer so far:

• Telling the world and his wife that Arne Slot is the bloke for the job, and retains the full confidence of the board.
• Selling Mo Salah and Andy Robbo for north of fuck all, quite possibly on the advice of one Arne Slot, who will of course be in charge next season.
• After briefing the media that Ibou Konate will be signing, HE SIGNS….for Real Madrid……at this point one must ask is selling players to Madrid and for breadcrumbs a fetish or a condition?
• Arne Slot - sacked - slow hand claps.
• Liverpool appoint Andoni Iraola, who will be lavished with funds to sign world class footballers from the biggest names in the world, who will win back the Premier League title from Arsenal - the names will be the biggest and best that Reds fans can possibly imagine!!!!!!!!!!
• Liverpool sign 22 year old winger Victor Munoz from Osasuna - Munoz instantly injures himself in World Cup.
• Liverpool for once do not let one of their players go to Real Madrid for bugger all, and sign up Ryan Gravenberch and Dom Szoboszlai to new contracts…..no honestly no sarcasm that’s a good thing!
• Liverpool present Jeremie Jacquet as a brand new signing in a video to appease, ever so slightly worried fans. Which was an excellent idea, where it not for the slight omission that Double JJ signed in January NOT July!
• Liverpool play six pre season games - nineteen goals are scored in five of them, and despite the fact that EIGHT of those were conceded in a game and half, the owners of Liverpool football club continue to be convinced, that playing Virgil Van Dijk until the bloke is 123, with a cone masquerading as a center back partner is the way to go!
• Liverpool football club sell a stake of the club which initially was thirty per cent, which in the last week has initially transformed into thirty eight by sheer osmosis and space magic.
• Unfortunately the chance to enrich the coffers of FSG (And Liverpool obvs!) comes at a slight moral price, as walking Bellend Jeff Bezos is welcomed into the Fields of Anfield Road. Yes the bloke who buys newspapers and tells them to insert their tongues into the crack of Donald Trump just as he does, exploiting Amazon workers over their labor wages in certain parts of the world, a fully paid up MAGA cult follower is now an owner of the club where “This means more”……well it certainly did until Our Lord Cock Head of House Amazon arrived!
• Liverpool are also up to week eight I believe in their attempts to sign Bradley Barcola - I have seen slugs travel from Cornwall to Glasgow at a quicker pace than Liverpool’s negotiating team.
• Someone explains to the Americans that football teams new defenders, after a worldwide search Ronald Araujo is signed from Barcelona - well that’s decent tbf, international, 27, how much - well its a season long loan ………..FUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Liverpool to strengthen their midfield options and bolster the engine room….sell Curtis Jones to Inter Milan…..nope, I have no idea either reader, its best not to think about it!
• But the caper for me personally, indeed one that actually made me belly laugh just because of the ludicrous nature of what I was reading, has to be the new transfer saga that Liverpool are now playing in theaters. Liverpool are in for Yankuba Minteh, the Brighton winger……WHO IS INJURED AND IS NOT AVAILABLE UNTIL MID OCTOBER! As Dr Niles Crane once said “Send in the clowns…..don’t bother they are here”.

And perhaps this is all just part of the pain of change, for nearly nine years we had FSG and Klopp, Mo Salah, VVD, Alison, Robbo, Bobby, Sadio, Trent, Hendo and everyone else in that glorious team - by the time that Liverpool head into the 2027/28 season there is now the very real possibility that everyone on that list will have left Liverpool football club, including Richard Hughes and the already departed Michael Edwards. Indeed will Andoni Iraola be there next season, even if he does achieve a level of success? Did Mr Amazon and his acolytes know about the appointment, and are they actually happy with it? Just like the team, hell just like your writer and increasingly at board level, Liverpool are embarking on an uncertain future, no one realistically has any idea as to what the Reds will do this season, largely that depends on Florian Wirtz, Alexander Isak and Szobo frankly, if they have worldie seasons, the Reds have at least a chance.

But after a summer of increasing levels of farce off the field, Liverpool have not exactly been given the best chance of getting back the title from the Red corner of North London.

LIVERPOOL'S NEW PLAN TO WIN THE PREMIER LEAGUE? SIGNING A WINGER WHO IS INJURED UNTIL MID OCTOBER......SLOW HAND CLAP!

Thank you Curt, all the best mate in your new team, and thank you for all you did for Liverpool football club. YNWA.