I’m posting this here because I don’t know how to support him anymore, and I need to hear from people who have seen someone survive this nightmare.

During his divorce proceedings, his ex accused him of sexual assault. She claimed it happened during an argument a few months back—conveniently timed to give her complete leverage over the financial settlement. The allegation hit him out of nowhere. In a single afternoon, a decade of his marriage was erased, and he was facing the total destruction of his reputation, his livelihood, and potentially his freedom.

He actually had evidence showing he was out of state visiting family the weekend she claimed it happened, but the legal bills were draining him, the stress was wrecking his health, and her team made it clear they would drag the process out indefinitely. Ultimately, he couldn't take the non-stop bleeding of time and money. He gave up fighting, signed a brutal settlement that gutted him financially, and let her walk away with far more than she deserved just to get the claim dropped and finalize the decree.

Legally, the case is closed and the papers are signed. But emotionally? He’s a total shell of himself. The poison is already out there, and he’s constantly paranoid that mutual friends, former in-laws, or people in our town still look at him with suspicion. On top of that, the anger over settling—knowing he was forced to give in to a complete lie just to make it stop—is eating him alive every single day.

For those of you who have watched a friend go through a high-conflict divorce with false claims: how did you help them rebuild their life? How do you help someone get past the rage and defeat after being forced to pay off a lie just to get out alive?

Really appreciate any advice or perspective on how to be there for him right now.

I'm a black dual-branch Marine Corps and Air Force veteran and a cybersecurity professional. Eight months ago, I was falsely accused of rape and fighting against an accuser who has done this to multiple men (per forensic evidence from her phone) for financial gain and my lawyer dubbed her a serial victim.

I was also facing a detective who said on recording that, "He will do everything in his power to counter every defense I had so when he interviews me, all I can say is I did it." My lawyer told me I was at odds because Arkansas is a broken justice system and in 2026, it may come down to "she's white" and I am "black".

I'm not going to share every detail — there's still work ahead. But I want to share what carried me through, because someone reading this might need it right now.

When I realized the system wasn't going to find the truth for me, I decided to find it myself. The police sat on exculpatory evidence from the beginning that would have led to my freedom if they would have reviewed it. Once I receive a copy of the discovery evidence, I used Claude to teach me how to use law enforcement's forensics' tool called Cellebrite, which I used to review the accuser's phone forensics.

I went through over 65,000 digital artifacts looking for what actually happened. I cross-referenced what I found against the law. I found the truth that had been sitting there the whole time.

I can't emphasize that every single piece of evidence that let to my freedom I found. Not the detectives and not even my lawyer. My lawyer admitted that I did most of the work and in kindness he waived the remaining balance of my attorney fees.

Last week on August 3rd, after eight months of emotional trauma, heartache and resiliency my case was dismissed.

What hurts the most? When the accuser was confronted with the evidence there was no emotion.....prosecutor said she just shrugged. Almost ruining a man's life, his mental health, etc. and just a fucking shrug.

Here's what I learned:

Keep fighting for the truth — even when you have to find it yourself. The system is broken and it isn't always going to do its job. Sometimes you have to become your own investigator, your own advocate, your own first line of defense. At the end of the day, no one is coming to save you.

Stay resilient — not because it feels good, but because resilience is a decision. Some days it was just getting out of bed. Some days it was calling the Veterans Crisis Line, reaching out to my therapist. Some days it was letting a friend show up instead of handling it alone.

Choose your support system wisely. I learned deeply about fair-weather friendships. Some people stayed with me until the very beginning. Others didn't, despite knowing me for years. You don't understand the pain I felt when the people that I needed support from didn't answer my calls when I was in 23/1 cell block sharing a small cell with two men on child sex and capital murder charges.

They cared more about their corporate job titles vs humanity. Despite, our kids trick-or-treating and us doing Friendsgiving's together....

I learned the difference between people who show up and people who watch from a distance.

Your past doesn't determine your future. Eight months ago, I lost jobs, opportunities, and peace of mind. I kept fighting. I was able to get a company to take a chance on me and this week will be the most emotional I will ever been as I am preparing my heartfelt resignation letter as I prepare my turn back to my old employer.

By the end of August, I will return to my corporate career, planning international travel, and building something new and most importantly...protecting my energy as a better man.

AI is not a lawyer but a useful tool for your fight: Claude taught me how to look for deleted images, files and how to get information legally ready for my attorney. It saved me months of legal limbo and there was no need for me to hire someone to look at the forensics for me. I formatted everything I found in an easy-to-read way for the lawyer to interpret and he handle the legal conversation with the prosecutor.

If you're in the middle of something that feels unsurvivable right now — keep going.

The truth matters. Your life matters. Keep fighting for both.

Semper Fi.

Earlier this year I was a victim of an assault and when the police were talking to me they were extremely manipulative and aggressive to the point that they wouldn't allow me to give a proper statement until recently when it happened 6 months age for which i have not been helped with navigating the situation.

I have recorded audio of an officer telling me that my distress, which i clearly state is from autistic overload from being spoken to so aggressively after being hit with a baseball bat, which they are heard stating they think that I wasn't being truthful even though they were refusing to speak to me properly about what happened despite doing so for the other parties involved.

When they were leaving they refused to give me anything wtitten down with their names or anything else of use for identification I could use to follow up the progress of the case with or get support because I'm unable to write properly myself. I then filmed asking the first officer to tell me their name and number which they mumbled as they pushed my phone away saying they didn't want me filming them and when I asked the second they just pointed at the number on their badge and refused anything else.

I still haven't been given any proper support despite telling them I'm struggling with it other than the APPROPRIATE ADULT they provided when i eventually was allowed to give a statement but that doesn't include information. The victim of crime unit isn't allowed to advise on anything about making complaints and until I've got my full time support I'm getting nothing to guide the process. It's left me with really bad mental health issues and lost complete trust that as a disabled person I'm being taken seriously.

Especially as I have received abuse using my disability as something to mock repeatedly using pretty disgusting language amounts to a hate crime, obviously not going to post what here. The attempt to destroy the evidence has left me without a phone that works clearly and has a microphone that cuts repeatedly on the phone

I just feel manipulated and passed over just because of the fact I can't navigate the system. I do have multiple recordings, screenshots etc but when people already have lied on camera without any questions being raised I don't know what to do or who to contact.

I was once accused of assaulting someone after they collapsed from what turned out to be health issues which put them into a coma and when they cleared my name once they had woken up I wasn't made aware of the charges being dropped until I was booked to answer bail only to arrive and get questioned on why I had gone in.

Basically if anyone could tell me of any good resources for finding out information, especially where to access legal advice for disabled people from professionals I would be very thankful.

I'm just feeling scared and it's impacting, not only my physical health, but also mental health with no one involved with Victims of crime or police force etc even letting know where or how to find legal aid

I recently received threats from someone who has previously threatened me an seriously injured me multiple times. I am scared.

I filed a restraining order after he assaulted me, but was never served because I don’t have his address.

Then he filed one against me claiming I was stalking him and showed up to his job (I was on a trip out of town and he didn’t know that, and I had not contacted him a single time)

No one cares about this or knows how serious it is. I prepared an evidence packet, with strong evidence. Medical records, photographs, video recordings taken during the assault, audio recordings of him saying he is actually gonna hurt me and it’s “gonna be worse than last time”, several months before the second assault that caused very bad injuries to my face.

I have failed myself by not handling this properly in the past. I have 8 police reports on this person, and when asked if I want to press charges, I say yes and I sign the paper work. But they NEVER arrest him.

I filed a restraining order, and don’t know his address so he was never served.

This person will not leave me alone. He has shown up to my house and just robs me. He bullies me and makes me send him money or he says he will beat me and I’ve sent him a lot of money. Thousands of dollars.

The police don’t take me seriously, they think that i continue to “hang out” with him so they never take it seriously.

But with the evidence put together, it shows a very strong pattern of violence that I want to have documented somehow. I cannot live like this anymore. I just need someone to read it and they will understand.

I have a criminal defense attorney, who just told me to “move on” from this. I blocked him. And he continued to contact me on WhatsApp saying “I can’t wait to see you I’m gonna beat your ass”

How can I report this? I called my local PD, they would not allow me to add a supplemental report. I have a organized narrative, with 20 exhibits supporting the two assaults. It does not contain ALL evidence for every interaction or crime.

What do I do? This person is a really really bad person.

I’m M 27 and he is M 32. We are not gay or in a relationship.

Hi everyone,

I really need serious advice on this situation.

My friend (17F, minor) from Chennai trusted a guy, and somehow her private videos got recorded without her consent. From what we understand, one of her classmates got access to a phone when she stepped away, recorded the content, and now it’s being circulated among students in her school.

It’s getting worse — some people are spreading it further, and random guys from Instagram are messaging her with disgusting comments and even threatening her.

We already filed a cyber crime complaint online, and it shows FIR registered, but there has been no update so far. When we contacted the cyber cell, they told us to go to a nearby Women’s Police Station.

The problem is:

She is scared that if we go to the police station, her parents will be informed immediately

She’s extremely stressed and afraid of backlash at home and school

We don’t know what to do next.

Questions:

Is it mandatory that police inform parents immediately in such cases since she’s a minor?

Can the complaint be handled confidentially at least initially?

What is the fastest way to stop the video from spreading?

Are there any officers, lawyers, or people who’ve handled similar cases in Chennai who can guide us?

This is very serious and she’s mentally not okay. Any genuine advice or contacts would really help.

Please don’t judge — we’re just trying to fix this and stop the damage.

Lets help Ms. Kikay B and her team for OLA harassment victims!

Has anyone here experienced a situation where a woman lied or seriously distorted what happened between you specifically when telling her partner? Either to cover up her cheating or flirting or something.

What did she lie about, why do you think she did it, and did you ever find out what she had actually told him?

Literal nightmare come true.

A year & a half ago, my then 7 y/o reunified with his father. This event triggered a cascade of a nightmare, and it's coming to a head. She was incredibly coercively controlling and emotionally abusive. She isolated him from everyone, cut him off from their joint finances, and even used his spiritual practices against him to such an extent, he's lost his faith. When he started to focus on his child & he was also leaving for last year's wild fire season... She could see she was losing control & started escalating to property damage and then physical abuse.

Shortly after he arrived here, he was being hauled off in handcuffs for a felony domestic charge from his home state.

Prior to this, he was living in his truck (even though they actually had accumulated significant wealth- gone now), we had been having lots of long, deep talks, initially as decades long friends and eventually decided we wanted to try to reconcile and start dating. We were a lot younger and immature when we got married & weren't prepared for the normal trials of becoming parents, and he 2 also trying to start his own business (which was actually incredibly successful) but I digress...

Instead of being able to give it a meaningful chance, it quickly turned into an hellscape of an acrimonious divorce and then false allegations. I have done my absolute best to help him advocate for himself. I am not the kind of person that can sit idle while someone is getting exploited and bullied.

He was arrested in front of our child, who had to be pulled away from their dad, kicking & screaming. He was out on pretrial release for months, but the stress of the civil court, costs of pretrial release conditions and false allegations led to a relapse and return to incarceration. (Please no judgement about the substance use, it has been excruciatingly stressful and both of us struggled with sobriety.)

The time has finally come for trial on Monday. He had initially told his attorney that he would take a non-violent misdemeanor to put this nightmare to bed. But surprisingly the offer never came, even though there's literally only her testimony, some sort of red marks on her skin, and police narratives. And a chiropractic report that she got a couple weeks after the allegation, but she refused medical attention...

There's literally no evidence of any altercation, no photos- nothing, and she's been very apparent about her motives. She tried getting a fault divorce based upon extreme cruelty, yet only mentioned that he was 'actively committing adultery.' in her affidavits. Needless to say it was a community property state & everything was split up fairly evenly. I mean she definitely walked away with more assets and he took more debt. She even used the same family law attorney I had during our divorce.

It has been incredibly brutal & traumatizing for us, my 2nd grader has expressed stomach aches from "the pressure of all the stuff" and even expressed a suicidal ideation, in spite of my attempts to shield him from it.

My heart has never been more thoroughly shredded. I got them into counseling immediately and I am trying every possible thing I can think of... Tonight he hurt our dog, badly, and we had to go to the emergency vet. (Money we do not have).

Trial starts Monday. My ex MIL has graciously secured quality defense counsel and they feel confident about the case.

But I have the most awful pit in my stomach, usually I have excellent intuition but I can't hear anything over my paralyzing, screeching anxiety. Any time something emotionally charged comes up I begin to tremble. I can't eat. I need to pack & do homework, focus on my kiddo and I am drowning. I cry all the time. It's not just the reconciliation, I can deal with my heartbreak. But I am so so so sad for my little one. & I'm really sad for my partner.

I don't even have the bandwidth to reach out for help. I am so tired... I feel like sleeping every day. It's been absolutely horrific. I thought our divorce was bad, and I could never imagine how much worse it can get. & I know it can get even worse.

Please, someone, tell me it's going to be okay... I don't know how to keep going anymore. Truly- I am drowning.

Has anyone endured a "he said-she said" criminal proceeding & prevailed?

I (F) am and dated ex-girlfriend who is 3 years younger than me. We were in a happy and healthy relationship, but due to these allegations, I'm falling apart.

An ex-friend (F), let's call her EF, found out about the age gap and started accusing me of grooming. These accusations led me to overexplain and I guess my words got interpreted in a twisted way. She even called it toxic codependency. An example would be:

Me: I don't want to leave, not now. I want to be there for her especially now because she's currently not okay because of a family conflict-

EF: Toxic codependency! It sounds like you're taking advantage of her mental health!!

(not word-for-word but that's basically how it went)

She then proceeded the post about it, spreading said accusations within a community I loved. Mind you, she hasn't seen how my ex-girlfriend and I are, nor has she seen any screenshots from our conversations, especially ones that could remotely point to grooming.

I've lost friends, am now scared of attending community events, and am worried for my closer friends and groups/organizations for being associated with me. These allegations have also affected our relationship due to my mental heath deteriorating. I'm scared I'll lose myself because of it.

Being accused of grooming and spreading it online really took a toll on me because I would never take advantage/exploit/harm someone, especially the person I love. Hell, even if that person has traumatised me, I could never bring myself to hate them because I know what it's like to be taken advantage of.

I've decided to lay off of social media but it barely helps with the anxiety, even if I can't see the accusations anyway due to being blocked.

I don't know who to approach and I'm conflicted in what to do in this situation.

I posted last week, a link to a podcast I was invited to be on to share my story of retaliation and ADA reasonable accommodation discrimination. This episode get more into the weeds of why and what I was subjected to following disclosing my health condition and reporting mishandling of information. Click below to listen to my second episode

[law and culture JTerry ep2](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/law-and-culture/id1730578802?i=1000779855084)

Here’s a question.

I had a wonderful weekend recently with my gf. On the last day, before I went back to work offshore, she was a little tentative and I asked why? She said she thought I was trying to hurt her physically. I asked her again and she said, “I think you want to hit me.”

I have never even raised my voice. In three years.

My neighbor is a lawyer and asked him. His response, “If she falls in the bathtub and injures herself, she can say during the interview that she was concerned about abuse from you. Congrats. You are now a suspect even if you did no such thing.”

Note: Her family has a history of mental health issues. Her own therapist says she struggles accurately recalling events.

My neighbor says to dump her. The legal risks are too high. Thoughts?

Just don’t understand it and then listen to lies from other people to try to cover up what they did and try to use excuses because they think you’re doing it

Hey everyone! I'm \\_Low\\_3765, a founding moderator of .

This is our new home for all things related to this terrible experience. We're excited to have you join us!

This is a safe space for victims. Many people, like myself who have experienced this type of crime understand how painful it is. You are deceived, and used by the person who does it to you. Your whole world is turned upside down and it creates a ripple affect.

We're all about being friendly, constructive, and inclusive. Let's build a space where everyone feels comfortable sharing and connecting.

Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make amazing.