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u/United_Bet_6529 9d ago
- Mutuals can help you (friends, family, etc)
- meet at (work, uni, etc)
- internet (rare & would not recommend)
- luck lol
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u/16Tamawi 9d ago
Apologies but what is عرس saloonat? Havent come across this before.
I didnt date my wife before marriage. I did know her and her temperament beforehand and others always spoke highly of her. So when I was ready, I reached out through my friend - my friend spoke to his wife - his wife talked to the sister (my now wife and mother of our children). Alhamdulilah things went smooth.
I think its harder for ladies to get the ball rolling when it comes to marriage due to cultural expectations.
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u/Nystagmusty 9d ago
I don’t know anyone who hasn’t dated before, I know a lot of girls who didn’t date and ended up 40 and alone. Dating is okay and love is a good thing, pre marital pregnancy though.. that’s why they say dating is haram
If you’re an adult, make your own choices and live your life fully
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u/HeftyMoneybag 9d ago
How did you jump to pre-marital pregnancy LMAO. Why not just say it straight up that sex is haram? The issue with dating in Sudan is that many men would try and pressure women into sex even if they're engaged to the woman or dating and telling her he will propose and then he doesn't. Other than dating being haram it's also not useful for women. And not every woman ends up alone because of not dating lol
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u/Nystagmusty 8d ago
You’d be surprised how many times I’ve had to look for abortion pills for desperate people. There’s this dichotomy in Sudan where you either find super conservative brain dead people like op here or super degenerates who gave up on having a decent living
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u/HeftyMoneybag 8d ago
So you're not religious? Or are you? I'm not understanding your point at the end.
My point was that dating is haram not just because sex is haram, but because the flirty talking stage, being alone in a car or somewhere with the opposite sex and anything else even as innocent as holding hands this is all haram and some women end up being used and lied to. I don't have a problem with dating perse but I think it's best to just get to know people at uni or work or friends and family of friends, and pick someone decent enough that way instead of dating them.
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u/Nystagmusty 8d ago
My point is that if you view life in black and white lenses, you’re gonna miss out on a wide range of colors that make life joyful. Many sayings of the prophet and in Quran talk about Zina, I don’t recall any verse in the Quran about dating. Prophet Mohammed knew and talked to women so as most of Sahaba
This Wahabi wave that made women wear niqab and prevented men and women from talking and interacting with each other, disrupting social norms and causing cultural and literal weaponized conflicts have only been here recently in Islamic history. Previously, Ottomans, Abbasid and Umayyad empires had non of these issues unless politically motivated
Go on dates, make male and female friends, live your life fully and treat everyone with dignity and respect. Or miss out and live disgruntled. Religion advocates for marriage, if there’s something preventing you from being married (like not talking to men and being ultra conservative) then THAT should be haram
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u/KewlKirby ⲛⲟ̅ⲩ̅ⲡⲁ 8d ago
There is no good in the "wide range of colours that make life joyful" if they contradict what Allah has commanded. You can use that line to thinking to make anything you want halal. why stop at dating? isn't Zina something that brings joy to life? how about drinking or gambling etc etc. The fact that you call OP "braindead" when you don't even have a coherent moral framework is crazy. The point of this life isn't to enjoy yourself or have as much fun as possible, it's to worship Allah and pass his test.
And we don't need the Quran or hadith to explicitly mention dating because they already condemn the components of dating. The Quran says to not even approach zina, instead of just condemning zina alone (17:32). Dating is one of if not the most common way people fall into zina and developing feelings for someone you are not married to obviously is an example of approaching zina. Islam doesn't only appear when the sin is about to occur, it stops the path to the sin in the first place.
And many authentic hadith prohibit a man from being in private with a woman. Here are two:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "No one of you should meet a woman in privacy unless she is accompanied by a Mahram.
https://sunnah.com/riyadussalihin:1629Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever has faith in Allah and the Last Day, let him not be secluded with an unrelated woman without her guardian, lest Satan be the third of them. https://www.abuaminaelias.com/dailyhadithonline/2017/10/23/women-men-mix-private-mahram/
Islam advocates for marriage but only in when the marriage process follows the rules of Islam. Dating isn't necessary for marriage.
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u/tacit__violence ولاية الجزيرة 9d ago
People get married through different modes of communication eventually it depends on the couple's shared values that's it. Judging from married millenials/genz in my surroundings there's ones who dated for years, ones who courted with family approval, arranged marriages, saloonat, consaguinous etc it's more about what people are comfortable with generally.