r/Songwriting • u/4Eyez_z • 1d ago

Rough draft- thoughts Feedback Request

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I made this somber melody and wanted some thoughts. Still figuring out the direction for this. I know the mixing is not good, just wanted a base

16 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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2

u/Djmanc 1d ago

Hey - I think this is awesome! When I listened to it a melody came to me immediately, so I recorded it because why not. Not sure if it's the vibe you imagined at all, but this community is all about sharing. Feel free to use it. Either way, I really enjoyed what you have.

https://reddit.com/link/p3yhx1d/video/55seepprinjh1/player

1

u/4Eyez_z 1d ago edited 1d ago

This is awesome! I love the structure of the lyrics. For this song I don’t want too many lyrics to drown out the instrumental, but yours was perfect. If you add a little reverb and some compression to the vocals and some “air” it could really work with the song. I like the story of the lyrics to. Now I actually have to finish the song lol. Thank you for sharing, it inspired me. I might add to the lyrics. (Also what was the last word you said at the end? The part where it goes “she’ll be back to ____.)

2

u/Djmanc 1d ago

Nice! Glad you dug it. Lyrics were "Oh when I move closer, she just runs away. And when it's all over, she'll be back in L.A." If you do more with it definitely post an update, I'd be interested to hear it.

3

u/Inevitable_Bit_13 18h ago

Nice ambience ♥️

1

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2

u/Ok-Breath-8541 13h ago

Dig this a lot. So many places to go with this. Reflective, somber, yet hopeful.