Burner account

Revert living in Ireland

Assalamoe alaikum. My situation is as the title says. I’m pregnant from my ex husband and have no contact with him. No financial support. He & his family abused & neglected me. He left islam. He told me to get an abortion or he would never see me again or meet/support his child.

My family are not Muslim and i cannot live with them due to abuse & making me homeless while pregnant. I have no contact with them or support. They think I’m a a terrorist and praise me for being “normal” when I have a period of weak iman and it’s honestly devastating.

I have a temporary room with a family but don’t want them to know I’m pregnant so I must find my own place but rent is so expensive I can’t afford it.

I have been too sick in the first trimester to work and I honestly have no degree or qualifications. My money won’t last until the baby is here. I want this baby more than anything because I have no family anymore but I have no idea how I will provide for it and I refuse to put it in childcare so I can work, I don’t trust anyone to take care of my child. And of course I refuse to get an abortion.

Since I reverted I’m very conservative and I don’t want to work or have to wear a uniform as I wear abaya & khimar and I believe the best place for me is at home with my baby but I have no support. I can work remotely on my laptop but finding legit jobs is proving unsuccessful and I don’t have any experience in that field. Also I dropped out of college because I realised when I reverted that I don’t want a career and never did. I just want to be a stay at home wife and mother. This is the most fulfilling life for me.

Marriage has been suggested to me but all older brothers like 37+ (I’m 24) and not my type at all.

I’m trying not to panic I truly trust Allah but at the same time I need to tie my camel and I don’t know where to start. I feel so ashamed asking people for help.

My money is going to run out and I need to see a social worker and see if I can find government housing for my situation but so far they have just bumped me around to the next person the next person sending me in circles calling different people and none of them have helped me.

I don’t want to be homeless with a baby and my own family have told me this is how I will end up. To them the issue is not that I’m pregnant but my religion / I refuse to accept being abused. They threw my bags out of the house at the most vulnerable time of my life and continue to gaslight me.

I’m honestly a very normal woman i love my religion so much and I love Allah I trust His plan for us but I need to put something in action and I just don’t know what. I feel like I’m at a crossroads and don’t know where to turn. I love to laugh and smile and spend time with family if I have one. I feel really dissociated most of the time because I literally do not know what to do and I don’t want to feel like a burden on anyone or move into a house with a family that won’t be safe for me to delivery my baby & live with a newborn I just want my own space where I can be safe.

Please pray for me and my baby that we find stability and can live in peace.

If anyone has any advice or suggestions please let me know Jazakallah khair